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“Sononi?”
It wasn’t Tsubasa Inuzuka; she knew that. She recognised the voice as soon as she heard it, but there was still the faintest moment of hope as she looked up. It was Sonoi, just as she knew it was. Why did she still wish it had been Tsubasa?
“Come back,” said Sonoi, and reached towards her.
She drew away from him. Her skin was beginning to turn bluish with the cold, but she wanted to stay where she was a little while longer. Tsubasa Inuzuka wouldn’t care if she froze to death out here anyway.
“Are you …” Sonoi hesitated. His eyes seemed a more intense blue even than usual, “Is this because I tried to …”
“No,” she said. That wasn’t a reason not to go with him. She and Sonoi and Sonoza would stay together, and they would do their duty like always. Sonoi seemed to view her as completely different now, but in almost every way, she felt the same as ever. She had developed one desire, one human weakness. That didn’t mean that she was human or suddenly understood all human feelings. She still felt like a Nouto, and yet that one change meant that she no longer really was. Sonoi and Sonoza couldn’t criticise her for that, surely. They hadn’t been able to kill her even when it was their duty. They were just as wrong and unfixable as she was.
“Then why won’t you come back?” said Sonoi.
“I want to stay here.”
He looked down at the blood on her shirt. It was just a stain, now; she didn’t seem to have an injury there now. Tsubasa Inuzuka had done something to save her life, she was sure of that. He was so good that no matter how much he hated her, he couldn’t let her die. That was why she -
“The blood of love,” said Sonoi.
“What?”
“You said that if Tsubasa Inuzuka continued on his current path, he would shed the blood of love. But …”
Sononi said, “You have already done the same for Tarou Momoi, many times.”
He didn’t reply. He seemed uncomfortable, and his face was a little flushed despite the snow. Well, she wasn’t wrong. Whatever he and Tarou shared had started before she became invested in Tsubasa Inuzuka. She hadn’t considered terminating Sonoi for becoming too human. Then again, he seemed more than determined to do that himself. There had been so many fights with Tarou, so many injuries, even Sonoi’s funeral.
After a while, Sonoi said, “Sonoshi will return. Because we didn’t obey.”
“Sonoshi would have come after us anyway,” said Sononi. Maybe a little sooner than they otherwise would have done, but Sonoshi had no intention of ever letting her or the others go.
“I suppose so,” Sonoi said.
What else could they have done about Sonoshi? There was no point in trying to win approval from someone who would never give it. That included Tsubasa. She knew objectively that it would hurt so much less if she could bring herself to stop hoping. Not being able to do that was frustrating but intriguing to her at the same time. The feeling was new, and she wanted to experience it, uncomfortable though it was.
Sonoi reached towards her. She wondered if he was going to try to drag her with him, but instead he took off his jacket and handed it to her.
“You’re freezing,” he said.
Sononi said “Won’t you be cold?”
“If you insist on sitting here, I will stay with you.”
They ended up sitting closely together, trying to drape the jacket around both sets of shoulders. Sononi was a lot smaller than him, so they just about managed to fit. It felt unusually companionable. Sonoi had always been her friend, but she didn’t remember the last time he had acted like this toward her or Sonoza. Was it because of his feelings about Tarou Momoi, or was he just changing, like she was? He’d spent a lot of time working on his art recently. She thought he must be close to figuring out what he wanted to learn.
“Why are you just sitting there?” That was Sonoza, looming over them now. He must have wondered what was taking them so long.
Neither of the two answered, so Sonoza sat down on Sononi’s other side, sprawling out beside her. He wasn’t particularly graceful, and he took up a lot of space. She smiled. She liked having them both with her.
“I’m freezing,” Sonoza whined, “and the ground is hard! It’s hurting my butt.”
His butt was the absolute last thing Sononi wanted to hear about. She said, “We’ll go back in a minute.”
“We could have oden,” Sonoi said.
“Do you have any money?” Sononi asked. She wasn’t sure if the oden stand would even be open, when it was snowing.
“I might,” said Sonoi, and they went.
The owner (what was his name again? Sononi should know by now) was out where he always was, his cart standing there in defiance of the weather. He went over to them, “Why aren’t you wearing warm clothes? You’ll turn to ice! Here, let me get you some hot food.”
He brought them each a bowl of oden. Sononi held onto the lacquerware, enjoying feeling the heat bring sensation back into her fingers. She said, “Next time … we’ll do this with Tarou Momoi and the others.” Not Tsubasa Inuzuka. The Donbrothers seemingly still didn’t know he was one of them, and even if they had, he would never want to spend time in her company again. Perhaps she couldn't blame him.
Sonoi instantly glanced up at the mention of Tarou, but he didn’t argue with her. Sonoza said, “And Haruka Kitou?”
“And Haruka Kitou,” said Sonoi.
He’d tried to kill Sononi only a couple of hours before for getting too close to a human. But there was no point pretending now. The three of them had become more like humans, and too involved with the Donbrothers.
Sonoi put his hand on her shoulder. She looked at him, and then at Sonoza; examining their expressions for any signs of regret. She found none.