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Holly climbed through the window, onto the ledge overlooking the inside of the library. There were no more bodies of Ridden or their people but she still couldn’t stop seeing it. Especially Evansburg.
Watching Ren get killed, hearing people screaming in the streets, the radio broadcast of people asking for help. Then coming back and being sent out again, only to find their people dead and turned.
Karlee hadn’t looked surprised to see the sleepers, only muttering that they were too late. Later Holly had asked what they were and Karlee had shrugged, only knowing that they were some type of Ridden she had seen popping up in the last few weeks.
Holly thought of what she had said once they had cleaned out the library, pulling her knees to her chest as she remembered it.
“Is all this worth it?”
“What?” Walker asked, confused. Mom turned around with an alarmed look on her face while Karlee just looked resigned, as if she expected the question.
“We spent a year getting our lives back to some fucked up sort of normal, and now this?”
“That’s not like you.”
She looked at Walker, then at Mom, not liking the concern she saw in their eyes. Holly swallowed the lump in her throat, “You’re right I’m being stupid.”
“Hey that’s not what I-”
“Forget it, it’s nothing.”
Even now the thought was in her mind, wondering if they should just give up. Before there was a hope that they could win but that was before the mutations, before they saw their people turned into monstrosities that jump on them from the walls without warning.
Absentmindedly Holly rubbed the bandages on her arms, covering cuts from when a sleeper had jumped her. Doc had insisted on bandaging them once she saw the cuts, despite Holly saying she was fine.
“Hey Holly, you okay?” Walker snapped her out of her thoughts, “Is your arm hurting?”
“No. Just thinking, trying to breathe. Wondering what prank I should pull on the general.”
Walker chuckled a bit, sitting down next to Holly. For a moment the two sat in silence before Walker took Holly’s hand, “Are you sure you’re okay? You didn’t sound okay earlier.”
“Yeah, I was just being stupid. Sorry.”
“Hey, no apologizing. And you weren’t stupid Holly. If you want to talk I’m here and willing to listen.”
Holly nodded, looking away and back over the library. She could see Karlee in one corner, helping Evagelo look for a book. Mom and Doc were reading together by the counter, smiling and laughing at the cheap romance Mom had found. Despite the happy sights Holly couldn’t bring herself to smile anymore, looking down at her free hand and sighing, “I-I’m so fucking tired Walker. Everything’s falling apart and I don’t know what to do. I can’t-”
Her voice broke and Walker wrapped his arms around her, gently rocking her back and forth, “Let it all out princess. You’re allowed to cry.”
“I don’t wanna fight anymore. I want it all to stop. Why won’t the ridden go away?”
“I don’t know princess, but one day we’ll make them go away. After that, we’ll rebuild, and we’ll make our own world. We can make a farmhouse and paint the walls whatever color you want.”
“No!” Holly almost shouted, crying with anger as she pushed at Walker, “I don’t want to watch anyone else die.”
“Take a deep breath, Holly.”
“It’s not worth it.”
“Oh princess,” Walker's voice was sad as Holly frowned at him, “I know it feels that way, I’ve felt it too. But it is worth it.”
“How?”
“It’s worth it so we can spend time together, so we can see the kids run up and try to rope us into causing trouble with them,” Holly smiled slightly as Walker poked her nose, “Give a massive middle finger to the ridden by just surviving them.”
“I want the fighting to stop.”
“It will one day. We just gotta hold on until then, okay? And the rest of us will be with you once it’s all over.”
“I’m scared Walker.”
“That’s okay. There’s nothing wrong with being scared Holly,” Walker began wiping away Holly’s tears and smoothing down her hair, “Want me to get Mom for you? I’ve found she’s better at comforting than I am.”
“You’re perfect at comforting Walker. You’re warm and give awesome hugs.”
“Not the best hugs?”
“Mom gives the best hugs, but that’s cause she’s Mom.”
Walker chuckled, “Still, you want me to go get Mom? Or you good if I stay up here with you?”
“Can you stay up here?” Holly hesitated slightly before asking in a small voice, “Can you tell me a story? One with a happy ending?”
“Yeah,” he smiled down at her, “Of course princess.”