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When Lisa had spoken out her desire to obtain a vision, she had hoped to be granted a blessing by the Dendro Archon. Not ..this. Not an electro vision that burned her hands and zapped the energy right out of her when she used it too often.
Lisa didn’t even like lightning or thunder. She had always been afraid of thunderstorms, always hated how the uncomfortable atmosphere made her feel on edge and the loud noises made her flinch. When she was younger, she would cower underneath her blanket with her hands pressed over her ears to block out the booming sounds as silent tears rolled down her cheeks.
And now? Now just the slightest mood swings of hers would summon up a lightning storm. She hated it. Barely used her vision if she could help it. Only a little, never enough to bring about the dreaded sounds of thunder, at least not intentionally.
But she could not just switch off her emotions on command, could hardly just say no as things were spiralling out of her control. It was not for the lack of trying of course, but she had learned that the more she despaired over trying to make it stop, the worse it would get.
She tried her best. Avoided things that angered her, places with too much magical energy that riled her up, loud noises that made her head and ears hurt. She mostly just stayed hidden in the safety of the library, with only books to keep her company. But sometimes even there she could not escape her emotions.
It took a lot out of her, all that time spent leaning into her anger and fighting the urge to run and hide and scream at it to stop. The energy her vision drained to summon up the storm in the first place.
And being a witch just made it so much worse, because it was not just the sounds of thunder, but also the magical particles swirling through the air that added to her discomfort.
She was tired, constantly exhausted over nothing. She was her own worst enemy and there was nothing she could do about it. She could not run from herself, could not destroy her vision and call it a day.
As someone who had studied the elements and spent a vast amount of time trying to figure out the secrets behind those small, powerful gemstones that one day just started appearing out of thin air, Lisa knew she could never get rid of it once she had acquired one.
To rid herself of her vision was to rid herself of her own soul. Her hopes and dreams and everything that kept her going. Lisa had seen people who had been parted from their visions for too long, had heard of the repercussions of the vision hunt decree of Inazuma.
It was not something that she would willingly do to herself. So she kept the cursed thing around, wore it on a necklace close to her heart. Lisa was not happy with this arrangement, but she made do with it.
_______________
When Eula had taken her to see the fireworks show for the Lantern Rite in Liyue Harbor, Lisa was tense with stress and anxiety before it even started.
She had not told Eula of her fear of thunder, of her dislike for loud noises, had not told anyone. And why would she? Just so they could laugh at her? Make fun of her? Or worse, look at her with pity because she held the vision of the god of thunder, all the while being afraid of said thunder?
It was humiliating, that’s what it was. And so she hid her weakness, putting on a smile to fool others as well as herself into thinking she was fine when she really wasn’t. If she had been given a dendro vision, she could have done so much more with it. She had always loved flowers and any kind of plants, always had a green thumb. It would have been perfect for her.
But no, unlike most of her peers with visions, she had received one of an element that was just as temperamental as she was. She did her very best to keep it at bay, lived a quiet life working as a librarian in the City of Freedom.
At yet, when people returned their books with stains, dog ears and in overall terrible condition, the sky turned dark and rumbled with her rage, only serving to fuel her displeasure further.
It was easier to focus on her anger than her fear. If she was louder than the thing she was afraid of, then maybe, just maybe, she could pretend it wasn’t there.
The same happened when people failed to return their books at all, days and weeks and even months past their due date. She knew the patrons were afraid of her, could understand their reluctance to come back if she went feral over just a slight offence. Lisa would be too, but she couldn’t help it, couldn’t hold it back.
She had always been a gentle person. Soft spoken and kind. It was not like her to get so loud, to let her emotions take over. Her vision brought out the very worst in her and she hated it. Hated how it made her lose touch with who she was as her survival instincts took over whenever something got to her enough to summon up a storm. It was either fight or flight and she had chosen the first.
She embraced it rather then cower in the corner with her hands over her ears. More than once she would end up sitting in a quiet corner just to cry when it had finally passed and she was alone again.
She could not possibly let anybody know of this weakness, it would be her undoing.
_______________
Lisa flinched when she felt a pair of hands settle over the sides of her head, a startlingly gentle touch for such rough, calloused hands.
She grasped onto firm arms extended in front of her and looked up into Eula Lawrence’s concerned sunset coloured gaze in confusion.
Lisa had been far away, lost in thought, staring at the floating lanterns in the night sky without really even seeing them anymore. She hadn’t even noticed Eula coming to stand in front of her.
When she drifted off, Eula stood at her side, waiting patiently for the yearly fireworks show to start. Lisa hadn’t been expecting this, Eula barely tolerated her as it was.
Lisa knew that the younger woman had to swallow her pride to come to her for help. They had been in Liyue for a couple of days now, investigating leads to finally locate Amber’s missing grandfather. Eula’s mentor, the first outrider of the Knights of Favonius.
They were at the Harbor to consult Yanfei, an acquaintance of Eula’s. From what Lisa heard, the young Reconnaissance Captain had once rescued the lawyer from a dangerous situation in Dornman Port.
Eula had claimed that the redhead owed her a favour before dragging her all the way to Liyue Harbor. Coincidentally just in time for the Lantern Rite.
Neither of them had planned to stay for the festivities, but Yanfei had presented them with a very convincing argument as to why they should stay and enjoy themselves for just a while before heading to Qingce Village to follow their most promising lead.
The tip had come from Lumine. Running around the place to help with the organisations, she had pointed them to Heyu Tea House to speak to Fan Er’ye before rushing off in the other direction.
Lisa had taken it as an opportunity to try some tea that was only sold in Liyue as Eula spoke, or rather argued with the tea master.
“Darling, please. The promise of vengeance won’t get you any closer to your goal than where you are now.”
“What would you know about that? You threaten people with electrocution when they don’t return your books on time. You have no right to complain about my methods.” Eula put her hands on her hips in indignation.
Lisa took a deep breath. “Alright. That’s fair.” Standing up from her table, Lisa brushed a loose strand of hair out of her eyes and pushed on Eula’s shoulders until the other woman relented and sat down in the seat across from hers.
Putting on her most charming smile, Lisa went over to the tea master and apologised for her companion’s terrible manners, ignoring Eula’s gasp behind her.
In the end, she had gotten some useful information out of him, but only after he regaled her with a lengthy tale about how the woman he was in love with left him for another man who then abandoned her later.
Lisa wasn’t sure why Lumine couldn’t just have given her this information in the first place if she’d known, but at least she now knew that Granny Ruoxin from Qingce Village might hold the next clue.
The tea master’s description of who she had left him for seemed far too fitting not to mean anything. Not to mention, talk of an old man with a wind glider returning to the village after 40 or more years of absence, had made it all the way to Liyue Harbor.
There was no doubt that this man who had apparently left to become a knight in Mondstadt several decades ago and then returned, was Amber’s missing grandfather. But why had he left without a word? And without telling anyone where he went? They would have to wait and see.
Finding the man in question was to be a surprise for Amber, that was what Eula had said. But Lisa knew that there was more to it than she let on, that Eula, whose own family treated her horribly, had seen her mentor as a father figure of sorts. You see, Amber liked to talk, a lot. So on the rare occasions Lisa was able to rope the young Outrider into having tea with her, the words just came flowing out without a pause.
The bubbly brunette talked about Eula a lot, always ready to portray her in the best light possible to make people see that Eula Lawrence was more than what she seemed to be.
Generous and protective, Eula would buy a festive meal for each person in her company to keep up the morale as they worked through the Weinlesefest and still include an extra for her friend, would push people out of the way of danger and take the blow herself.
Eula would hold out her umbrella for others to slip under when it rained, make her own treats to give to others to brighten their days and make them smile.
Lisa had know before that Eula was was much kinder than she pretended to be, they had a mutual friend in Jean after all. Though, Jean was not the most open person one could find, rarely sharing more than necessary, she always spoke well of the Spindrift Knight when she came up in conversation.
Jean had shared with her that most times Eula promised vengeance, it would not actually come in the way people often expected, that she was only trying to make people respect her by not holding back and challenging them to see her for who she was, for her own deeds and not her family’s reputation.
And Lisa knew what it was like to be viewed as a potential threat to society, saw the fear in people’s eyes when she gave herself over to the storm inside. They wouldn’t tell her to her face, but they were scared.
She wouldn’t be surprised if they were just waiting for her to snap, ready to cast her out like they were with Eula. After all, who wouldn’t be scared of a powerful witch like her? The most distinguished graduate of Sumeru Akademiya in two centuries living among them as a humble librarian who occasionally lost it over a couple of books?
Even Razor had confessed to her that she was scary when during one of their lessons in Wolvendom, the sky turned purple around them and she disposed of three approaching rifthounds all at once to keep them from getting too close to him.
They had done enough damage to the pack he referred to as his family, she would not let them hurt her little wolf cub too, even if he now saw her as a snarling beast with thunder in her veins.
She had holed up in her bedroom for the entirety of the following day, resting and recuperating from the incident.
No, Lisa understood perhaps better than anyone how Eula felt. A kind and gentle soul, trapped in a storm that most had trouble seeing through. But still, the gesture surprised her. She hadn’t thought that Eula would extend such a sweet gesture to her of all people.
So here she stood, face to face with Eula Lawrence, as the younger woman gently cupped her ears with her palms to block out the noise that was about to start. And it was nice.
Lisa had already mentally prepared herself to hide her discomfort. But Eula had seen right through her. Perhaps it had been because they’d spent the past few days in such close proximity that Eula started looking past her grudge and began to understand her a little.
Perhaps it was because the were so alike in some ways, or perhaps it was the way she had tensed up, fidgeting with with the fabric of her cloak as she stared into the distance with dread uncomfortably settling in her stomach.
She pulled at Eula’s hands, moving them away from her ears but not letting go yet. “What are doing, dear?”
Eula regarded her with an unreadable expression. “Over the past few days, you’ve flinched every time there was a loud, sudden noise, tensed up around large crowds of people speaking to each other loudly, curled up and held your hands over your ears when you went to sleep and thought I wouldn’t see.” She listed all the things Lisa had thought she’d hidden well enough.
Lisa’s lips parted in surprise to hear that Eula had been paying so much attention to her. She did not know what to say.
“You’re sensitive to sound.” Eula deduced correctly. “You can summon a thunderstorm when you’re angry, but you can’t stand loud noises? How does that even work?”
“It doesn’t.” Lisa looked away, brought up a hand and held it over her vision. “I never wanted this burden.”
Eula’s expression softened. “Let me help.”
Lisa flinched again, eyes wide and startled as the first fireworks exploded above them.
Swiftly, Eula stood behind her and brought up her hands to cover the brunette’s ears once more.
She was tense. Instinctively covering Eula’s hands with her own and pressing them tighter against her ears, Lisa slowly relaxed in the younger woman’s hold and leaned back into her as they watched the show. Eula was a warm and steady presence behind her in the chilly night air as Lisa pressed herself flush against her front.
The fireworks were beautiful, they came in various sizes and colours, brilliant reds among vibrant yellows, followed by every other colour imaginable. Some rare few of them were even shaped to look like bunnies. It was breathtaking.
As the show ended and they were certain that there wasn’t going to be anything else, Eula slowly let her hands fall back to her sides.
Lisa turned around, standing far too close for them to just be colleagues. “Thank you, darling.“ She smiled up at Eula and gave her a brief kiss on her lips in gratitude. “You know, you’re really not as bad as people seem to think you are.“
“Hmph.“ Eula raised her chin and looked away, blush spreading across her cheeks.
“Amber was right. You’re just a big softie, aren’t you?“ Lisa teased, poking her side until Eula turned back to her.
“Tell anyone about this and I will have my vengeance.“
Lisa giggled at the threat, making Eula glare at her.
“Cute.” She patted a reddened cheek and leaned back in, stopping just before their lips could touch. She playfully rubbed her nose against Eula’s with a smile and waited for her to either close the distance between them or pull away and tell her she misread the situation.
Eula chose the first. Nearly toppled her over as she leant in and kissed her long and hard, holding her close with one hand on her back and another against her head to stop her from stumbling backwards.
Pulling away for air, Eula looked at her with dark eyes. “You’re so annoying.” She panted out before capturing her lips in yet another languid kiss.
Lisa smiled against Eula's lips before she gave back as good as she got. She had a feeling they would do more than just sleep in their shared room that night.