Chapter Text
A cold breeze whipped through the cave, ruffling some of the ice from his hair. The cold chill of an isolated winter went bone deep even for the young man laying on the frozen ground. Toshiro Hitsugaya was used to the cold. Seldom did anything short of a blizzard cause him any sort of discomfort. But this chill was the result of his training. The chill of pushing ones body to the very end of its limits. Slowly, his eyes opened blurry and unfocused, still dazed from being unconscious for an unknown amount of time. His body ached and trembled from the cold that enveloped the deep cavern he had carved. Moving into a seated position, he ran his hand through his hair, shaking out the ice that had formed. To his right, his zanpakuto laid; the gleaming tempered steel calling to him to pick it up and start training again despite how his body protested.
His eyes closed as exhaustion was on the verge of swallowing him but flashes of memories from the fateful day nearly three months ago startled him back to the present moment. Aizen. Blood. Ice. Hinamori. “Why?”
Hitsugaya gripped the hilt and used the blade to help him rise up. His hand shook, and his legs threatened to give way under him. His jaw clenched as he raised his zanpakuto. The moment haunted him, followed him every second of every day. Her voice echoed, repeating that ridiculous nickname he outwardly despised yet secretly yearned to hear her say again. Her question of “why?” Why had he hurt her? Why had be betrayed her? Why had he not seen? Why had he not been strong enough? Why? Why? Why?
His grip tightened until the light blue sageo dug into the skin of his palm. “Bankai,” His voice came out in a hoarse whisper as fresh ice was blasted across the ground, rising up to engulf the walls of the cave. The stalagmites hanging high above shook from the sudden freeze and blast of his reiatsu. Wings of ice formed across his back and spread wide before thrusting downward, giving Hitsugaya momentum to fly up to the highest point of the cave to begin another round of training. With a slash of his blade, an arch of ice was sent flying across the cavern. The ice started out jagged and uneven but quickly thinned to the thickness and smoothness of a freshly sharpened blade before colliding with the wall and creating a clean cut in the wall that was littered with other similar scars of varying size and smoothness.
Hitsugaya landed on the ground just as the ice made contact and the wall groaned as a large boulder above began to rumble from the loss of support. Readying himself, he twisted his blade in his hand and widened his stance. At first, it started to fall slowly with only a few smaller rocks cascading down the wall but then the entire thing gave way and descended upon him. Eyes narrowed, he waved his zanpakuto toward the ground and around him felt the temperature suddenly drop. Part of the boulder shattered from the temperature but the rest simply formed a layer of ice and split into three separate but still massive rocks. “Damn.” He muttered as his wings surrounded him at the last moment just before impact.
The rocks sent him flying back and as the dust settled, Hitsugaya took in the damage. Part of his right wing was damaged and he felt blood on his forehead. The right sleeve of his kosode had ripped and he was missing the bottom third of the left pant leg of his hakama. The flash freeze he had been attempting had cost him two of his petals on his bankai. Not good enough. In theory, the ability should be able to freeze anything regardless of size once it was in range. But that wasn’t how things were panning out for him. The time it took things to freeze was too long and he wasn’t able to completely affect anything larger than a person. It always only had a partial effect that left the remaining mass to continue mostly unobstructed.
He had to try again. Raising his zanpakuto, he felt resistance, urging him to wait. Hitsugaya ignored it. And called forth an attack aimed at the stalagmites. The ice dragon obeyed him and crashed into the ceiling sending tens of protruding rocks crashing down. Unleashing more of his reiatsu, he focused it to remain within the range of his flash freeze and watched as the rocks froze into icicles, shattering just a moment before it would have struck him. Too long. He had to widen the range and get the time to shatter down. He felt Hyorinmaru protest yet again as he prepared for another attempt. “Hear me,” The dragon urged. “You’re not ready.”
Hitsugaya gripped the hilt tighter. And held it up, glaring down at his reflection in the blade. “I am ready.” He argued.
His zanpakuto was silent but he felt the resistance and hesitance before the dragon gave his replay. “Too young.” The ice dragon knew that he hated being underestimated because of his size and age.
Hitsugaya grit his teeth in response. He didn’t have time to wait until he was ready. Recent events had only showed him how complacent the Soul Society had become. The threat of more enemies coming forward seemed imminent and if they were to stand a chance against someone even a little similar to Aizen and the Arrancars, then he needed to be able to use his banki to its full potential. “I have to be ready now.”
Hyorinmaru hummed in his hand. “…It might come at a cost,” He said. “Are you willing to pay the price?”
Hitsugaya closed his eyes. Wordlessly letting his Zanpakuto know that the cost was meaningless to his goals. The ice dragon roared in his head as he felt the cave rumble in response. Rocks began to fall under the immense force being expelled from the young captain. Hitsugaya ignored everything else around him as he felt his ice wings fall away and the remaining petals shatter. The blast sent a shockwave through the caverns until the pressurized force was expelled through the mouth of the cave. It shook violently as its stability gave way and collapsed in on itself sealing Hitsugaya within.
———
Bright sunlight and a cool breeze flowed through the open window of the Fifth Division’s offices. It was a beautiful day with the Seireitei going about its business peacefully and with a little urgency compared to the the events that had transpired a little over a year ago where everyone was on edge preparing for battle with Aizen over the fate of the world. It had been a year of adjustments for Momo Hinamori. Changes in training regimens, new captains, and protocols had proven to have a small learning curve that everyone was still learning. And as for her new captain, he seemed to be very… interesting. Sarcastic with a dry sense of humor, but diligent in his work; Shinji Hirako was a capable leader who despite some hesitancy at first, turned out to be exactly what the 5th needed to heal. Hinamori wasn’t the only member of the division to feel foolish for having not seen through Aizen’s facade and working with the reinstated captain, they had found a means to heal and grow together as a division.
Hirako had taken a particular interest in Hinamori especially considering her closeness with the traitor and to help her regain her strength as well as to build their relationship as Captain and Lieutenant, they had begun to train daily together late in the afternoon after work. But today was the rare exception to their training schedule. Captain Hirako was taking a short trip to visit with his comrades that chose to stay in the World of the Living. The trip worked out well for her as it gave her extra time to delve deeper into the facility upgrade requests submitted by the sixth seat. Moral had been slowly built back up under Captain Hirako but at the end of the day, very little in their complex had changed. Suggestions of upgrades ranging from new paint, to the outrageous request for a swimming pool, had been listed and she couldn’t help but agree that some renovations were in order. Spending the next hour or so reviewing proposals and available funds, she gladly signed off on some of the ideas.
Compiling the proposals and relevant documents, she organized them neatly on the Captain’s desk for his return. Such major changes would need his signature before they could begin. Hinamori took stock of her own work space. There wasn’t much work left to do and it wouldn’t be too much of a bother to save some of it for tomorrow. Glancing out the window, she smiled at the beautiful day. It was too nice to waste the remaining time inside the office especially when she noticed a dark cloud formation in the distance. Rain that night seemed imminent and decided it was best to finish off her work day with delivering paperwork to the other divisions.
Sifting through the files, she organized them in order of her stops. First, she’d deliver the paperwork to the First Division. Head Captain Genryusai Shigekuni Yamamoto was notably more peeved these days when things were turned in late or missed entirely. Then she’d drop off the files at the Third Division and check in with how Izuru is settling with his new captain. Nanao at the Eighth would be next and as long as she’s able to avoid being dragged into the bickering between Nanao and Captain Kyoraku, she should be able to make her final stop at the 10th just before Rangiku steps out for an early dinner.
Hinamori smiled at the rare chance she now had to spend the evening with her childhood friend, Toshiro. The last time they’d done something together had been months ago when she’d had to drag him away from work to celebrate his own birthday. Since then, she’d only seen him briefly in the mornings when he’s still a bit grumpy but not yet overwhelmed with doing the paperwork for both himself and his lieutenant. It wasn’t exactly ideal circumstances for any real conversation about anything other than work or the weather. Hinamori hummed thoughtfully at what a great opportunity this would be to get him to relax for a bit and enjoy a nice dinner with nothing to worry about. Maybe she could convince him to take a day off with her this week and visit Granny. It had been a long time since they had seen her and it would probably do them both some good to have a day where they could be far away from their responsibilities reminiscing about the past.
She finished her deliveries quickly and other than being side tracked by Izuru expressing his mixed feelings about his new captain, she still managed to make it to the 10th just as Rangiku was locking the office.
The tall Lieutenant paused in locking as she saw her approach. “Hey Momo! I haven’t seen you in ages,” Rangiku said with a smile.
“Rangiku,” She returned, glancing at the darkened office. “Is Toshiro not in?”
“Hm? Are those for us then?” She asked, gesturing to the file in her hands.
“Yeah, but I was also hoping to see Toshiro. Where is he?” Hinamori thought it strange he wasn’t in. Normally, he’d still be in the office until late into the evening.
Rangiku sighed, “Here, I’ll take those,” She took the files and opened the office, leaving them, surprisingly, on her desk for the next day. Hinamori noticed that the usually empty Lieutenant’s desk was now organized with neat piles of paperwork that actually looked to be completed by her and not her captain. Rangiku noticed her gaze and gave a small smile. “The Captains been leaving early to go train,” She explained. “I’ve taken over some of the work so he doesn’t exhaust himself.”
Hinamori held her hands in front of her, twisting her fingers in a nervous habit that had manifested after Aizen’s betrayal. “I see…”
“Hey, why don’t you go check on him?” Rangiku suggested. “Normally, I can’t get him to get some sleep until late at night. Maybe you can get him to actually get a full night of sleep.” She let out a small laugh, “After all, growing boys need good sleep to grow tall.”
Hinamori shook her head. It was just like her little Shiro to believe the little old saying Granny had told them as kids. She followed Rangiku out and listened as the taller Lieutenant gave her the directions to the cave that Toshiro trained inside.
“Thank you, Rangiku.”
She waved Hinamori’s thanks off with a flick of her hand, “Don’t mention it. I’m partly doing it for myself so I don’t have to do anymore paperwork.”
With one more wave, the two lieutenants went off in their own direction. Looking up to the sky, Hinamori sighed noticing the dark clouds from earlier had grown larger and flashed with lightning. It just figured Toshiro was in that direction. Hopefully, they’d be able to out run the weather before it hits.
Using shunpo, she made her way to the cave. The clouds that had seemed so far away seemed to be closer than she thought at first and the closer she got, the more she understood that the clouds weren’t the natural weather. His reiatsu flowed in the clouds and she realized that this was the work of his zanpakuto. The temperature steadily dropped the closer she got to the cave until she reached the center of the storm where the clouds swirled overhead on the verge of bursting. It gave her a bad feeling. Maybe he wasn’t aware of the effect he was causing? No, that seemed unlikely. Toshiro had more control than that. But as she came to the mouth of the cave, she felt her whole body tremble. “No.”
The cave was sealed with a thick layer of ice covering the rocks that had collapsed. Running to the ice, she screamed as loud as she could. “Toshiro!” If there was a response, she couldn’t hear it. Her fingers trembled as she gripped her own zanpakuto and drew the blade. She knew he was alive. His reiatsu was still distinct and strong, but she had no idea if he was hurt or not.
“Snap, Tobiume!” Her blade glowed red and three prongs sprouted from the blade. Heat began to radiate near the hilt until flames emerged, burning brightly. With a wide swing of the blade, the flames slid along the edge of the blade until releasing from the point in a large fireball. The first blast did little more that sizzle upon impact, not even making a dent in the ice. But she was undeterred. Toshiro had once told her that the temperature to melt the ice his Hyorinmaru made was proportional to the about of reiatsu he utilized. Therefore, if he was fighting at full strength, it would take heat between… she couldn’t remember. Groaning in frustration, she decided to just lob attacks at increasing temperatures until she saw progress. She could tell he wasn’t at full strength anyway, so she didn’t need to worry about reaching that extreme temperature that was his maximum.
After a short series of blasts, she noticed the ice thinning, the dark brown color of the rocks peaking through. Maintaining the high temperature, she fired off fireballs in quick succession one after another until only a thin sheet remained.
Hinamori extended her hands in front of her, “Hado Number Thirty-One, Shakkaho!” The red ball of energy shot from her palm and shattered the ice, smashing a hole through the rock just large enough for her to fit through. Launching herself at the opening, she managed to get through just before rocks fell down to seal the opening again. Sitting up, Hinamori shivered from the cold and breathed out. She could see her breath and felt the cave rumble again as though more rocks had fallen. The sound originated from deeper within and after listening for the next rumble, she returned her zanpakuto to its sheath and wrapped her arms about herself and followed the sound of the rumbling and the powerful reiatsu that laid deeper within.
Every inch of the cave was covered in ice and littered with large gashes and craters that had likely been the result of intense training. The farther she went, the more the cave looked as though it had been freshly carved out. Pillars of ice held up portions of the ceiling from collapse and claw marks were scattered across the ground and walls. Just how much was Toshiro training? She’d seen him train many times before but that was nothing like what she was looking at now. Every once in a while she’d see dark brown stains on the ground. Blood. Dry and frozen, it was hard to tell if they were from new injuries or old.
The rumbling grew louder as she reached a large open area where the temperature dropped even more drastically. Shivering she caught sight of him kneeling in the center of the chamber. The wings of his bankai were gone, but the power emitting from him felt… heavier. His shoulders were covered with thick armor made of ice and She watched as he stood, looking… taller than normal. His kosode was gone, and his legs and wrists were encased in ice. With a flourish of his blade, he manifested an arc of ice so thin, it was barely visible, save for the slight reflection of light as it curled upwards towards a large section of stone barely held in place. The moment the ice hit, the massive rock fell. Hinamori held her breath as she watched him extend a hand watched the bolder shatter into a light snow fall around him. He held his hand out and caught some of the flakes, looking at them thoughtfully.
“Toshiro?”
His head snapped around and he looked almost entirely unfamiliar. The eyes that found hers were those of her childhood friend, but the face and body were that of a man. His jaw was sharper and more angular. His chest was broader with a lanky but fit body, held up by long lean legs. Even his eyes that were distinctly Toshiro’s, were more narrowed and colder than she’d ever seen before.
He seemed confused for a moment when he looked at her, as if trying to determine if she was really here. But then, she saw him relax and practically shrink in on himself as he released his bankai. A light breeze passed through the cavern as the ice on his body melted away. His hakama sat high low on his hips but the ends cut off about mid calf. He stood there barefoot, staring at her. She noticed a light reddening of his cheeks as he stabbed Hyorinmaru into the ground and crossed his arms nervously across his chest as he looked around the cave. Hinamori stayed where she was and watched as he went over to the corner and picked up his kosode and put it on. Like his hakama, it was also too small, the sleeves just coming to his elbows as he closed the front as much as he could.
Clearing his throat he hunched over a little before he spoke. “Hinamori, what are you doing here?”
Even his voice was different. Slightly deeper with a timber that sent a chill down her spine. “Um… Rangiku told me you were training here.” Hinamori bit her tongue. Why was she sounding so shy all of a sudden?
“Ah,” He said, shifting on his heels awkwardly. “Is it that late already?”
She shook her head, “No, it’s just about dinner time.”
“I see… so I have a little more time to work on my flash freezing—“
“Toshiro—“
Discarding his kosode again, he went back to the middle of the cavern taking up his zanpakuto, ready to start training again.
“Lil’ Shiro!” The blade slipped from his grasp and clattered to the ground.
“Hey! I already told you—“
“I know,” She said. “I needed to get your attention somehow though.” Hinamori crossed the chamber to where he stood and picked up his kosode for him handing it to him and waiting for him to put it back on before continuing. Being this close to him and watching as he shrugged on the kosode with the same slow and purposeful quirks from the way he rolled his shoulders into it, to the way he tilted his neck to pop the left side then the right, even how his hands unconsciously itched to hide in the wide sleeves; were enough to erase any doubts that the man standing before her was in fact Toshiro.
“How… long have you been training like this?” She asked.
Toshiro shrugged, his silence answer enough to tell her that he’d likely been training this hard since Aizen’s defeat.
Hinamori looked him up and down, making a sound at having to actually look up to meet his eyes. She couldn’t understand how this was possible. Searching her recent memories, she thought back to the last time she’d seen him and she was positive he’d been at least a few inches shorter than her. How had he gotten this tall in such a short time? “What happened to you?” She unintentionally said out loud. “Y-you look—“
“You don’t like it?” His eyes widened in shock and embarrassment.
“Wha— No! I mean, it’s weird— er, different?” Hinamori scrambled for words as he looked more dejected as she tried to correct herself.
“I see…”
“No, it’s not bad, it’s just… can you change back?” This whole thing was just too weird for her. Too sudden with no warning and no time to prepare. It would be easier to formulate her words once he looked like her best friend again.
A single white brow arched up, “Um… change back?”
“Yeah. I don’t know how you did… this,” She gestured at all of him with her hand awkwardly, laughing a little at how ridiculous this feels, “But, there’s a way to go back, right? I’m not used to talking up at you,” She said, trying to laugh off her nervousness.
He was silent for a long while and scratched nervously at the back of his head. “I… don’t think so…”
“Eh?”
He stood up to his full height and looked around the cavern a mix of amazement, with traces of sorrow lurking in his eyes. “My power was not yet mature enough to use my bankai’s full potential,” He said. “So, in order to use it more effectively… I aged a bit.”
Hinamori scrunched her face in confusion, “How does that even work?”
He shrugged, “Hyorinmaru did it. Didn’t tell me how.” He looked at his hand which was bigger than it had been days earlier. “He at least let me choose how old to make me though. Said he could just make me as old as the Head Captain but figured I’d like to be a bit younger so… that’s one thing at least.”
Hinamori couldn’t help laughing at imagining him as an old man. People already joked that he acted like one so there wouldn’t be much of a change if he had been aged that much. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s… okay,” He said.
“But… if your zanpakuto did this, shouldn’t it wear off with your bankai?”
“From what I can tell, it’s a one-way transaction.”
“So… you’re… stuck like this?” She asked.
“Yeah,” He sighed. “To be honest, I’m not much of a fan of this either, but…” His voice trailed off a little and he drew his shoulders up nervously, “is it… really that bad? I haven’t had a chance to look so I don’t—“
Hinamori shook her head, “No, it’s really not bad at all.” She hadn’t seen him this nervous since before his Captain’s exam. He’d acted much the same back then as he was now. The nervous rise of his shoulders, and shrinking in on himself. It was only after he’d privately demonstrated his bankai for her that he’d regained some of that inherent confidence that seemed to come naturally to him.
Looking around she saw that some of the ice had started to melt. “Here,” Grabbing him by the arm she dragged him to one of the large ice formations and had him stand in front of it. The glistening surface allowed for a small reflection to show. “It looks a bit… distorted in the ice but you don’t look bad at all. You actually look really… nice.” She felt her cheeks heat up a little as she watched him gently touch his own face and hair in curiosity.
“So… if I don’t look too… bad…” He started, “Why would you want me to change back?”
She didn’t have an answer. Other than looking years older than he actually is, he seemed to be exactly the same. The same cold exterior that kept most everyone at a distance, but where there had been traces of the little boy who’d tease her or spit watermelon seeds at her, now there were hardened features of the man she’d always imagined he’d grow up to be.
“I… I don’t really know,” She said. “I guess… I guess I just don’t understand why you felt the need to do it in the first place.”
“I told you. It’s because my bankai—“
“But why couldn’t you wait?” She asked. “You’re already one of the most powerful captains—“
“—Think that’s a matter of opinion—“
“—The point is, you already had sufficient mastery. Isn’t that enough?”
Hitsugaya shook his head. “I might be good enough to become a captain, but if recent events have taught me anything, it’s that I’m far from being capable should an enemy like Aizen shows up again,” He said.
“You don’t really think that someone like that will attack, do you?”
“Who knows. But if they do, I’m going to be ready. I won’t fail again,” His eyes narrowed in the familiar determination when he sets mind to something.
“You didn’t fail against Aizen though,” Hinamori argued. “He tricked everyone. Had a plan from the start—“
“That’s not what I’m talking about.” He looked at her with the same soft eyes he always had. A look that he reserved only for her that reflected his kindness, vulnerability and… something else she’d never been able to place but always brought her comfort. All their lives, he’s always been Lil’ Shiro. The boy no one else wanted to be around and always kept to himself. When the two of them first met, he’d had no one in his life, save Granny, and it had been difficult to get him to talk with her let alone be her friend. But once he started opening up to her little by little, there wasn’t a day that would go by where they weren’t together. Be it a relaxing day enjoying fresh fruit, or a night time adventure to a small meadow to watch the stars; Shiro would always be by her side through it all. He was her best friend. The one person she cherished above all others. But, as time went on, and they went to work for their separate divisions, she began to notice things. Small changes that seemed insignificant until different responsibilities seemed to force them to keep their distance. It had always been her intention to bridge it one day, but then Aizen happened and the distance was not just physical but spiritual as well. Trapped in a coma, she had been unable to be with him and even once awake, recovery both physical and psychological took its toll on her and only now was it apparent the toll it had taken on him as well.
“Toshiro…”
“I made a promise that I’d never let you get hurt,” He said. “And to have not only failed, but be the cause—“
“No,” Himanori gripped his arm tightly and noticing him turning his face away, reached higher toward his face and forced him to look at her. “You weren’t at fault.”
“It was my blade.”
“It was Aizen’s zanpakuto,” She said. “I know you would never hurt me. Not intentionally, anyway.”
“Still,” He sighed, trying to look away but still caught by her hand. “I… I won’t let you get hurt like that again.”
Under her hand she felt his cheeks heat slightly and smiled at the light dusting of pink on his pale cheeks. She ran her thumb over the small patch and felt a small thrill as it seemed to heat up a little more. “Why… do you need to do that?”
“Huh?”
“Make promises like that,” Himamori clarified.
She felt his arm stiffen as he made a noise in the back of his throat. His eyes glanced between her and the ground as if he were battling with himself over something. “Because,” He sighed, then made a thoughtful hum before signing in resignation and shaking his head. Hesitantly, he brought his hand to touch her cheek gently, the tips of his fingers just barely grazing her skin as though unsure of himself. “I’ve… only made that promise for you,” He said. “And that’s because…”
Hitsugaya took a step back and out of her reach, crossing his arms over his chest and taking a relaxed stance that emulated nonchalance, “Because at the end of the day, you’re still the same Bedwetter Momo I had to keep from getting swindled at festivals.”
Hinamori caught herself from stumbling at the sudden shift of tone. What had started out as serious and… maybe a little romantic? Had ended with him being the same… Toshiro she’d always known. She smiled, even laughed a little. Though he looked all grown up, she was glad he was still him inside. Besides, she already knew what he wanted to say and he probably recognized that neither of them were ready for that just yet.
A rumble that was distinctly not from the cave caught her attention as Toshiro pretended not to hear. With another small laugh, she walked around him to where he had left Hyroninmaru on the ground and picked up the weapon. His eyes tracked her as he watched her turn the blade in her hands. A small smile on his face as he watched her spin the slightly longer blade once, before tossing it at him. He caught it with a flourish of his own.
“I think you’ve trained enough for today,” She said, returning to his side as he sheathed his zanpakuto.
“I’m pretty sure the suns only just set. There’s still more time—“
“—Time to go get something to eat? Because I don’t know about you, but I’m starving.” Before he could retort, his stomach rumbled in agreement and both of them couldn’t help the small laugh that escaped both of them. “I’ll take that as a ‘yes’.”
Toshiro looked down at himself and pulled his kosode tighter across his chest. “I don’t think I’m really dressed to…”
“We’ll stop by your barracks and get you a new uniform. Oh! Then we can try that food stall I heard my 3rd seat mention. It’s supposed to have some exotic dishes from the World of the Living. I think you’ll really like it.”