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19 April 2023
Jennie still couldn't believe that this would be her last night as Blackpink. She had lived practically her whole life in function of being an Idol, first waiting to make her debut, then maintaining her role as a member of the most famous girl group in the World. Being a Blackpink had always been her life's purpose but, as of tomorrow, she would have to turn over a new leaf and start a new chapter where everything was only in her hands. No more directions, no more rules to follow, no more guided paths except by herself. Theoretically she should have been scared, instead, all she felt at that moment was the excitement of discovering what was to come from the next day onwards. She literally could not wait.
All four of them had spent their last evening together in the house in Seoul they had shared for seven long years. During dinner, none of them had mentioned the fact that it was the last of countless evenings spent together in that memory-filled living room, perhaps out of fear that melancholy would take over or simply because they were certain that it would not be the last time they saw each other or shared time together, so, despite the change in the room, the atmosphere had remained calm and familiar. After all, it was simply a matter of growing up and, Jennie was certain, neither of them would ever let go of the idea of being a Blackpink. Jennie's belief that they would never be lost made it all the more thrilling to find out what the future had in store for her: whatever it was, whatever path she took, she would have the other girls by her side, as always.
"Can you imagine us starting a new life?"
Jennie had left Jisoo trying to get through the level of her favourite game -with Rosé noisily cheering for her- to join Lisa in the garden where she had placed a sheet to lie comfortably and look at the sky. It was something Lisa often did after dinner, especially on spring evenings, because she thought that paying homage to the beauty of the first warm night skies would be a good omen for the months to come. Rosé and, especially, Jisoo had always teased her about this belief but for their debut it had worked so Jennie didn't feel she was wrong and, indeed, often joined her thinking that by paying homage as a twosome they would get twice as lucky. So far it hadn't gone so badly.
"Yeah, I still can't believe it." Lisa replied, lying back with her arms behind her head and looking up. "What are you going to do tomorrow?"
"Hmm..." Jennie sat down next to Lisa, crossing her legs. "I think I'm going to get a tattoo, I've always wanted to get one"
"Oh wow so transgressive" teased her making Jennie giggle. "What would you like to do?"
"I was thinking something stylised or a phrase... I could tattoo 'Lalisa love me', do you think that's transgressive enough?" Jennie smiled with a hint of amusement in her gaze.
Lisa burst out laughing. She pulled herself up and sat cross-legged, one knee above Jennie's.
"In that case I think you should ask my permission...but I don't think I'll give it to you," she replied in amusement.
"Noooo Lalisaaaa how can you do this to me!" Jennie grabbed Lisa by the arm and began to tug her simulating suffering and despair. "My dream shattered by your heart of stone! Love me, Lalisa love meee!!!"
They laughed together as they had done a million times over the years. The silence that had followed was so comfortable that even if time had stopped in that instant, Jennie would not have complained about it. Lisa was playing with a blade of grass in her hands and, although her face was in shadow and her gaze low, Jennie could recognise every little nuance of expression in the other girl. The concentration she was putting into trying to make a bow with the blade of grass made her smile.
"What about you? What would you like to do tomorrow?" she asked her curiously.
Lisa seemed to think about it.
"Actually there's something I'd like to do right now," she replied after a few moments.
"Oh really? What?" Jennie was both curious and amused.
Lisa didn't answer immediately, as if considering a thousand options, then looked at her with a thoughtful expression. Jennie stood waiting to hear Lisa's revelation without really knowing what to expect: she had always been unpredictable and it was one of the traits she liked most about the other girl, she found it stimulating.
"So? You don't want to tell me?" she smiled softly, giving Lisa a gentle pat of encouragement on the knee that made her look down.
When she raised it again, Lisa's eyes had never been so dark and intense. Jennie felt as if they emanated a magnetic force that prevented her from looking away and, slowly, the sheet, the grass, the garden, even the sky, all the space around her faded until it disappeared: only her eyes existed, and, the more she looked at them, the more she seemed to lose her balance. The slight dizziness she was feeling was so real that she did not realise that, gradually, Lisa was getting closer.
Jennie distinctly smelt Lisa's citrus scent becoming more and more intense and, like a reflex, closed her eyes, letting herself go to the warm, enveloping sensations Lisa had always been able to give her. Her breath began to catch as she felt Lisa's lips hovering lightly over hers until they settled completely: they were so soft and inviting that she didn't even resist when she felt the pressure become more insistent. Lisa gently placed a hand on her cheek and, quite naturally, Jennie parted just enough to allow Lisa to caress and envelop her lips with her own. Her mind was foggy. She let Lisa lean to the side changing the angle, their lips pressed together again in a perfect fit, then slowly parted, allowing the tips of their tongues to touch: it was an experimental, gentle but lingering contact that caused a shiver on her skin followed by a small electric shock that ran through Jennie's body to the tips of her toes, waking her up completely. She widened her eyes and abruptly pulled away, leaving Lisa in midair, a little dazed and with her eyes still half-closed.
"Wh-what are you doing?" she stammered not knowing what to do or say, her heart was racing and a heavy heat had reached her cheeks.
"Uhm?" Lisa blinked several times, still dazed.
Upon seeing Jennie's shocked expression, however, Lisa immediately regained consciousness. She instantly stepped back and cleared her throat.
"Ah uhm I... I thought..." she tried to say without being able to string a meaningful sentence together. "Uh, well... it's been years that, yeah I mean... we've been flirting and hanging around and I thought that... that maybe..."
Jennie couldn't move, her heart wouldn't stop hammering and a strange agitation had grown in her chest. Lisa was clearly uncomfortable and was biting her lip nervously making her eyes wander everywhere but towards her.
"I-I... I'm not... I'm not like that" the words came out on their own.
"Ah... uhm okay... then sorry" Lisa simply replied with a edge to her voice. "Just act like it didn't happen okay?" a slight embarrassed smile appeared on her face.
In normal situations, Jennie would have laughed at Lisa's embarrassment, noting how cute she looked while she lowered her head so to hide the blush behind her thick blonde hair, but, in that case, she remained catatonic, her gaze fixed and her mind in complete confusion.
"No one will ever have to know." she sentenced as soon as she could formulate a thought.
Lisa merely nodded but the delusion on her face was evident.
Neither of them moved, they sat side by side, careful to keep their distance and carefully avoid eye contact, the previously comfortable silence had become an invisible boulder hanging over their heads. Jennie's heart made no sign of slowing down so she tried to lie back on the sheet in the hope of calming herself down or be swallowed up by the night sky.
"Nothing has changed, right?" Lisa's question let all the fear of hearing the answer shine through.
Despite the spring-like temperature Jennie felt the skin of her body on fire and had to restrain herself from touching her face with her fingers to soothe the burning sensation she was feeling on her cheeks and lips, exactly where Lisa had pressed hers.
"No... of course not." Jennie whispered in total shock.