Chapter Text
Luz was a weirdo, but that was okay.
Her dad was a weirdo too, and he always played along with what Luz did! Sure the other kids didn’t like it when Luz talked about reptiles and parasites, they thought she was nasty when she sat down to draw roadkill… Hey! They were the only animals she had as models that would remain still for her! And yes her mom also didn’t appreciate it, but it was just because her mom cared a lot about animals. And Luz did too, her mom was just worried about the health of little critters and angels!
Luz’s dad was there and that’s all she needed, not any unwritten invitations to other kids’ birthday parties or anything else. He understood Luz, understood Luz exactly and she never needed to explain herself, stammering and stumbling over words, not sure how to articulate what she meant but knowing it was still real and genuine. When Luz overheard her dad talking about his favorite foods, she’d surprise him by suggesting to Mama that they cook just that on his birthday!
When Luz remembered what someone else at school had said, though… They’d act creeped out. And offended. They accused Luz of eavesdropping, and she was confused because wasn’t she supposed to be listening? When they talked aloud, they meant for anyone to listen, right? That’s how she rationalized it, but Luz didn’t figure out her explanation until well after the fact. And when she tried to bring it up, people just brushed her off as a stalker and a creep.
It was fine, she just spoke in a different language! Spanish, and also another one, that’s what her dad explained to Luz. Luz just wished people could understand what she meant, it didn’t make a difference in Spanish or English. Only her dad understood, and her mom as well. But her mom was busy taking care of plenty of sweet angels and pets, although she could ‘talk’ to them too.
On Valentine’s Day, Luz had her eye on a cute girl from class. She seemed fairly nice, and once asked Luz if she was okay, all on her own! Luz was fine, maybe she just looked a bit off. But it was nice, and ever since then, the two had some fleeting encounters here and there. Once she stood up for Luz in class; Luz had been trying to read, but as she reminded herself to do so, it reminded her of all of the other times she’d get sidetracked because of something else, like maybe she was interested in an ant she found in the hallway. How did that lone ant get there, all by himself? Where were the others?
Suddenly, her teacher snapped his fingers. “Luz, could you care to summarize for us what we read yesterday for class, on page 49?”
Luz blinked and suddenly felt unbearably hot. Everyone was looking at her, and her mind drew to a blank. Page 49? She couldn’t remember. Why page 49, anyway? What did that have to do with anything?
The teacher raised an eye. He was usually patient with everyone else, but Luz once heard him complaining about how these kids were entering middle school soon and needed to ‘grow up’. But before Luz could stammer and the teacher make a point, disappointed but not surprised, her classmate raised a hand behind her.
“Um, excuse me Sir!” She cleared her throat. “You got the page wrong, it’s actually page 39.”
Luz’s teacher blinked and flipped through the pages, and his eyes widened in surprise. “Oh, I’m sorry Melanie, my mistake.” He looked so embarrassed that he moved onto the next part of the lesson and evidently forgot about Luz.
Luz stared at her hero with eyes full of wonder, and suddenly she felt indebted. A favor had been given out, time to pay it back! She set to work furiously scribbling a portrait of her and Melanie together, reasoning that it’d make her happy. Luz got a papercut in the process, she was working fast before class could end, eager to impress. Ever the artist, Luz improvised and smeared the blood across her and Melanie’s faces, forming blushes, adding some nice red color! Even better, since a blush came from blood beneath the face, so what better source to replicate that shade? At this point all she needed was some skin!
When class was finally over, Luz barely squirmed her way through other classmates before she approached Melanie. “Hey,” She panted, out of breath. Melanie blinked, turned around, looked at Luz. It took her a while before she realized, Oh, me.
“Thanks a lot back there!” Luz explained, excitedly fingering her drawing behind her back. Melanie shrugged. “Well, it was nothing-”
“So I thought, HEY, I should draw something in thanks!” Luz proudly presented her work to Melanie, who ogled at the result. “I gave myself a papercut halfway through the process, but I managed to make it work eh?”
Melanie clutched her book to her chest, and suddenly had her attention caught elsewhere. “Umm… Yeah…” She mumbled. “Look, I gotta go use the bathroom-”
“Oh no rush!” Luz began, before stopping. “Oh wait, sorry for interrupting! But uh, yeah, I totally get it! See ya later, Champ!”
Melanie stared at Luz with a sense of wonder, and then turned and left. When Melanie finally returned, Luz tried too hard not to look at her, feeling emotions flourish, and Melanie seemed to even respond the same! Luz thought about it all day after school. So when Valentine’s Day began to approach, she figured, well… She liked Melanie? And Melanie might’ve liked her?!
Maybe. But why not try? Melanie had been nice to her plenty of times by now, so Luz set herself to work. She tore apart cardboard and paper putting together a big demonstration, got together her own attempt at an appropriately pink, red, and white suit, mostly a long-sleeved T-shirt, some pajama pants. Luz had to dig up some old patterned socks but it worked out! And music always set the mood, her dad brought it up when he stepped in and noticed what she was doing. So Luz borrowed his stereo and prepared a special CD.
Valentine’s Day rolled around, and Luz proudly emerged from her dad’s car, even if the angel wing props she glued to her back had gotten a bit mangled in the ride. Her dad reassured Luz that it was all right, that Luz would knock them dead and it was always better to show herself, so she’d find someone who could relate, rather than changing for others who didn’t care. Luz was already getting some stares, and proudly marched her way inside.
Some kids giggled, which Luz saw as a good sign, people liked it! Imagine being one of those kids, and ultimately having this one-man entourage turn towards you to explain it was all about you! Luz’s heart thrummed inside of her chest, and she finally got to class with Melanie.
Melanie’s eyes widened like everyone else’s, and she immediately stifled a laugh with some of her friends. Luz beamed, glad to hear that sound, and pressed Play. She’d had to be a bit creative smuggling the miniature stereo, but now…!
Music blared, as Luz got down on one knee. Melanie was laughing until her eyes widened and she looked around, her face going Oh, me again. But in a different way…
But Luz couldn’t hesitate, and she just pressed on. “OH gracious Melanie, I’ve come to appreciate our time together, and I hope you and I could spend it more! Would you like to go out with me?”
Melanie stared, and she actually looked… mortified. All of the other classmates began laughing, and Luz suddenly felt hot again.
“I uh, see I presented this heart for you…” Luz fished it out and splayed it open, and a mess of stickers and other confetti bits fell out, the message crumpled inside. She hoped Melanie could still tell what it said.
Whether she did, Melanie made no indication. Instead, she just smiled, but in a very pained way, like when her mom once had to explain to someone that their pet probably would need to be put down. “That’s… NICE, Liz!”
“L-Luz!” She stammered, heart plummeting, and not the one she was holding as it was already peeling apart in her hands.
“But I’m just, well I just. Um.” Melanie looked around for help.
“That’s a bit MUCH,” Another classmate cut in for her. Melanie looked a little relieved and Luz suddenly physically seized, as something heavy dragged down in her guts.
“O-Oh! Well I can be a bit… Less…” Luz suddenly became painfully aware of those gaudy wings on her back, and started pulling them down. Melanie winced and held up a hand. “Stop.”
Luz should’ve, but she kept going. “If you want I can tone it down!” She began to suggest, and Luz internally curled inward at the idea. What was she doing, her dad said to be herself! He and all of those stories, people wouldn’t have written such lessons so confidently, if they weren’t true! Why was she falling for that trap, offering to be someone else regardless?
“I uh-” Luz tore off the wings and looked to a trash can. She tried to turn off the stereo with the tip of her foot, hands busy, but just increased the volume. “Just let me-”
“I said STOP, Luz!” Melanie snapped. The two of them blinked, both looking surprised by the outburst. Someone whistled.
Luz was burning up, sweating. Her hands felt clammy. Her shirt wasn’t getting damp, was it? “I’m just not… interested, okay?” Melanie shrugged helplessly, looking around. Luz felt something curl up and stretch inside of her gut, saw how Melanie seemed to squirm beneath the looks of everyone else. Oh god, were they beginning to laugh at her, too?!
“I-I’m sorry Melanie, I didn’t mean to I just-” Luz blurted out, but then caught herself. No that’s too much, keep it tasteful. “I mean I, SURE, yeah! I… I…”
The teacher stepped in and stopped at the mess before him. “What’s THI-”
He didn’t get to finish. Luz pushed past him and ran straight for the restroom as the other kids laughed. She didn’t remember if Melanie did as well, but at this point it didn’t matter.
Luz stayed in the restroom for the rest of the day. Crying. Sobbing. Gagging and even vomiting a little.
Her dad had to pick her up, and looked mortified. “Mija, what happened?!” Papa took Luz in for an immediate embrace, and Luz buried herself until all she could feel was cotton and a pressing weight.
“N-Nothing, I just-”
“Shh, it’s okay, if you don’t want to talk about it now, we can later.” Papa promised, looking at Luz in the eye as he brushed a hand through her hair. “We definitely still will, I promise. But first, let’s get some chimichurri.”
It was Luz’s favorite after-school snack, but as they munched, Papa got a phone call. "Yello?" He listened intently, frowned, and shook his head.
“I’ll- Yes, I’ll talk about it with my wife.” He turned around and held up a hand to cover his voice, but while Luz’s eyes were focused on her sandwich, her ears naturally drew to the discussion.
She didn’t get much, but she could hear Papa trying to apologize. “I’m sorry for the mess, I just- Look, can we talk about this later? I’m busy.”
Luz’s heart sank. Oh, right. All of the trash she left littered around the classroom. Of course.
They got back home and eventually so did Mama, looking particularly tired, when Papa asked her to come into the dining room with him. Luz was already upstairs, but right by the stairs themselves. She stopped, thought to herself no she shouldn’t. But she did.
They discussed about a potential teacher conference, something to do with Luz’s behavior and grades over time? And when Papa got to the bit about today, Luz cringed and buried her face. Mama looked appalled, and shook her head.
“That’s not HER fault,” She began, and Papa bolted upwards. “RIGHT?!” He splayed his arms around, looking about in vindication. “Look, we just. I mean, we’ve already talked about this, and…”
Which ‘this’ was Papa referring to? Luz had noticed that he and Mama were discussing a ‘this’ or ‘that’, but she could differentiate on tone. They probably didn’t realize she was listening, and to be fair she didn’t bring it up, because they probably didn’t want her to know. But when she heard something, her ears went right for it no matter what, blocking out even her headphones full of music.
“Now might be a good time…” Mama slowly realized. Papa blinked.
“Well wait just a second, I don’t want Luz to run away-”
“But it has to happen regardless, right?” She looked up at Papa into the eyes. “You need this too!”
Needed what? Luz thought about her dad, how much he was like her. Did he also get in trouble…?
Papa looked tired. “You’re right. But I think there’s a better way we could do this,” and Mama nodded as she listened.
Like Melanie, Luz had seen enough. She went back to her room.
When Luz didn’t go down for dinner, Papa went upstairs. He knocked quietly. “Can I come in?”
“Si.”
He carefully treaded, and sat down beside Luz’s bed, where she was curled up and hugging her plushes. He brushed his hand through her hair and looked back at Luz’s snakeskin, which she’d had framed on her nightstand for years now.
“I guess it didn’t go so well?”
“No.”
Papa scoffed. “Pffft! Some people just don’t have taste,” He lamented, sounding almost pitying towards the ‘people’ in question. “You just kinda have to feel bad for them, right Mija?”
“…Am I too much, Papa?”
Papa laughed, bending down to nuzzle his face against Luz’s. His beard was itchy and scratchy and it tickled, so Luz had to squirm and laugh a bit. “I can never get enough of you, so no. Never too much.”
“Even if- GRAAGH!” Luz suddenly burst out a jumpscare, arms flying out. Papa bolted a bit, and then laughed, clutching his heart. “That’s nothing, I could-”
Luz’s smile fell when Papa suddenly started coughing. “Ough, spit when down the wrong pipe. You know how it is,” He wheezed, and Luz DID know. But he’d done this again, almost reaching a rate of once per day. Luz did the calculations and everything in her notebook.
"A-Actually, I think I... OUGH..." Papa suddenly bent over, clutching his face. A pang of concern flashed through Luz as she reached over in concern.
And then she knew exactly what to do. Luz reached over and grabbed something invisible, sticking out of Papa’s back, and began cranking, making loud, obvious noises. With each crank, she triumphantly noticed Papa beginning to straighten up, and then turn his neck towards her, until-
"NYAUGH!!!!" For a brief moment, Luz thought something was wrong with Papa's eyes, which were now a solid, veiny, pink; But then Papa began laughing, and she realized he'd just folded his eyelids inside out with his fingers. Luz recoiled yet burst into laugher alongside Papa, and leaned in with curiosity as Papa let go of his eyelids and let them pop back into place. "EWWWW.... How'd you do that, Papa?" Luz immediately began plucking at her own eyelids in curiosity, but even though she couldn't see her reflection, Luz felt like she hadn't quite succeeded.
Papa snorted and moved Luz's fingers away from her eyelids, lowering them to her sides. "It only works when I need to give you payback for scaring ME," He (probably) joked. "So in other words, keep doing that and so will I, and maybe then you'll get to figure out by watching!" Luz nodded sagely, already thinking about surprising him and Mama on the side of their bed later that night while they were asleep, only to remember the coughing. Her mind began dwelling again when Papa changed the subject;
“Let’s get down to dinner, all right? I prepared a surprise for you…”
Luz was pulled between the cough and the surprise, and Papa pulled her for the latter, dragging her by the arm downstairs. MORE chimichurri sandwiches, they’d gotten takeout! “Normally I’d ask if you’d gotten sick of it by now, but I always know the answer!” He cheered, doing a little spin as he maneuvered to the table, arms and hands splayed out. "Ta-daaaaa!!!" Mama was there, waiting for them as she beamed at Luz and drew her in for a hug.
Luz’s mind got sidetracked, and she’d had a better night.
That next morning, Mama had stopped her before Luz could get out of bed.
“Mija, there’s something I wanted to talk to you about.”
Luz’s mind suddenly leapt in seven different directions, then twelve more once the next second had passed. “Yeah?”
“This house is…” Mama made a face, gestured a hand around. Luz slowly nodded.
“You don’t like it?”
“Do you?” Mama flipped the subject around, and Luz shrugged. “I mean… Are you looking for someplace better?”
“Yeah!” Mama nodded, grinning. “We’ve got just the place in mind, it’s in Massachusetts, the next state over-”
“Sure!” Luz suddenly interrupted her. Mama paused, and Luz went on. “The floorboards are kinda creaky, so I guess in a better house, I wouldn’t have to worry about that when sneaking during bedtime for some midnight snacks!” She playfully articulated all of her fingers as she said this.
Mama wagged just one finger in playful admonishment. “Hey now…!” She began, and the two of them laughed.
So it was settled. And as Mama carefully added, “Well, since you’re already going to leave school, I guess it doesn’t matter if you go today, right?”
Luz’s face burned. She could tell what Mama was going for here, but honestly she preferred it this way. “A day off!”
Mama chuckled, but there was a nervous edge to it. “Right!” She winked, as she began to close the door. “Okay, Mama is late to work, goodbye Mija! Have a good day!”
Papa also had the day off. Usually he didn’t, but he was beginning to do so more frequently. He said his job got more relaxed, which was just fine. Luz and Papa got to play with each other a lot, enacting a storyline involving a Lord Quasar and Princess Diata that they had to cut off abruptly one night. Luz insisted they keep it up, since it was such an awkward place to leave off, but Papa insisted.
“I’m getting kinda burnt out, and I want to give this big climax as much energy as it deserves,” He explained. Luz pouted, disappointed, and Papa patted her head. “But I’ll be up the very next thing this morning, okay?”
“Please, Papa…?” Luz weaponized her eyes the same way pets did to Mama. Mama was always more firm since she had to deal with that sort of thing for her job, but Papa…! “It’s only six!”
Papa rubbed his eyes wearily, pained. “…ALL RIGHT, but let me sleep in tomorrow, okay?” He negotiated. Luz pumped her fists into the air and did a wail of excitement, and the two carried their story all the way through that day.
The next morning however, Luz had suddenly gotten an idea for an epilogue, and immediately came to Papa’s bedroom to wake him up; Mama had gone for work already. “One more hour,” He groaned, even though it was fairly late. Luz shook him again anyway.
“One more minute?” Luz could work with that. She waited exactly a minute, counting the seconds herself, though Papa’s clock was clearly slower than her. When she announced that his time was up, Papa yawned, inhaled through his nostrils, and then sped out of bed and through his morning routine in one push. Papa swallowed a pill, and when Luz realized his coughing had eased lately, she asked about it.
“Oh yeah, finally got a prescription.” Papa explained dismissively, waving a hand. “These uh, thingamabobs. Watchamacallits. Thingamaji- Antibiotics!" He snapped his fingers, after letting his hand twitch trying to remember. "Some kind of infection. I don’t remember everything but the doctor and Mama do, so I just gotta take some of these every day until I run out, and then I’m good!”
Luz beamed. “That’s a relief! I was getting a bit worried.” Papa’s face softened as he ruffled her hair again.
“Don’t be, Mija… Well, it IS nice that you are, if only because it means you care!” Papa pinched both of Luz’s cheeks at once and she giggled. “But ultimately, don’t worry because there’s nothing TO worry about, I promise.”
Luz trusted Papa, especially when it kept to keeping his promises.