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As they stood there in the rain, Butch looking at the hurt look on Buttercup’s face, he knew he should have felt some sort of regret or sadness. Maybe even indifference. Indifference definitely would have been better than what he was actually feeling at that moment - anger. His blood felt as if it were about to start boiling beneath his skin. He was focusing all his energy on mitigating his twitch. It was a surefire way to tell the woman in front of him how he was feeling and that was the last thing Butch wanted to do. If Buttercup knew how he was really feeling then it would only escalate the situation. Despite the heat he felt settling into his bones, he really did not want to fight tonight. As much as he loved her when they fought, they fought . Their relationship had always been very physical from the beginning even when they were still enemies. That sort of passion never really died down and as much as he loved to spar and go a few rounds with the firecracker that was his girlfriend, sparring and fighting were two different things.
“Why didn’t you tell me before?” Her voice was quiet, almost drowned out by the sounds of the rain and the party still going on in the restaurant he’d just stormed out of.
“Because it’s not a big deal.”
“Yes, it kind of is.”
“Ok, well then… “ Butch was finding himself at a loss for words. He didn’t really know how to explain it and his anger was rising every moment that pitying look stayed on her face. Butch knew she wasn’t doing it on purpose but he hated being pitied.
“I just - I knew you would react like this and make it a whole thing but it’s really not and quite frankly, I don’t want to talk about it.”
He turned to walk down the street towards his car. A bright green light flashed in his peripherals and suddenly Buttercup was blocking his path. Butch sighed and steadied himself. The deep line in Buttercup’s brow told him he hadn’t been successful in concealing his twitch this time. Damn, sometimes he hated how well she knew him.
“Buttercup -”
“Butch, please just talk to me.” She reached forward to touch him and almost reflexively Butch grabbed her wrist stopping her just inches from his face.
“I don’t want to talk about it and I especially don’t want your pity. You’re looking at me like I'm some sort of hurt puppy and I'm not. I’m a big boy I can handle my own problems,” he said as he dropped her arm and pushed past her with a little more force than was necessary. He didn’t care though. He really did hate being pitied.
“Well, you made it my problem when you made a scene in front of everyone I invited! After all I did for you!”
“Yeah, well no one asked you to!”
Another flash of green and the words hadn’t been all the way out his mouth before he was shoved back. Butch stumbled, righting himself before he could fall. The slight pain in his chest from the unexpected impact fueled his anger and now he was close to seeing red.
“What the hell?”
“For such a big boy you really are acting like a child right now!” Buttercup sneered, her face twisted in her signature scowl. At least, Butch thought, the pity was gone.
“I don’t understand why this is so important to you! Why don’t you just go back to your little party and forget this ever happened? I bet everyone is waiting on you to cut the cake or whatever other dumb shit it is that you do.”
Fuck it, Butch thought, I’ll come back and get my car later. He changed directions again but just as his feet were lifting off the ground to fly anywhere but here, Buttercup essentially tackled him to the ground.
“What the hell!” They wrestled around for a short bit each trying to get the upper hand. If they weren’t soaked before they definitely were now. Butch could feel the mud soaking into his thin jacket and Buttercup essentially sat on top of him, using her weight to keep him down.
Butch’s vision literally went red. He was preparing to fire off an eye beam just to get her off of him when the unexpected happened.
“I’m sorry ok! I was just trying to do something nice for once, like a good girlfriend or whatever. How was I supposed to know you hate your birthday? Your brothers don’t. I thought everyone loved their birthday.”
Butch was taken aback. Buttercup rarely ever apologized. Her usual tactic even if she was wrong - which Butch was finding out more and more she rarely ever thought she was - was to double down and drag her feet even more.
Her hair was tousled from the struggle and she didn’t seem like the mud had spared her either but the look on her face only conveyed earnest sincerity. Butch did feel ashamed now. He shouldn’t have been mad and he really did know that. He’d never talked about his complicated feelings surrounding his birthday with anyone. She really couldn’t have known.
“Yeah well, Boomer never misses an excuse to party, and as much as Brick might say otherwise, he secretly loves being the center of attention now and again.”
“Like you don’t,” The joke fell flat between the two of them.
“Can you let me up now?”
“Only if you promise to actually talk to me and not run away.”
Butch sighed and rolled his eyes but he promised anyway. Buttercup got up and offered him her hand. He didn’t take it. As petty as it was he took a small victory in the look of annoyance that crossed over her face.
“So tell me why.”
“Damn, where to start. Maybe it’s the fact that I was birthed from a literal toilet or that it gets kind of confusing because I technically have two birthdays because, well you know, you literally blew me up! ” Butch used his arms to mimic an explosion.
“I’m not apologizing for that again. You know why that had to happen and I know that’s not what's really bothering you.” Buttercup’s tone combined with her crossed arms was really getting across how unamused she was.
“I guess it must be the fact that I never had a real birthday party as a kid since everyone kinda hated us and my dads could never shake their obsession with you and your sisters! Or, I don’t know, the knowledge that Mojo and Him never really wanted us and still don’t. We were always just a fucking tool to them to get to you so excuse me if I don’t want to celebrate a day that just reminds me about how much of a failure and a shitty, unwanted person I am from the very beginning!” Butch was breathing hard by the end of his rant. He doesn't know why he told her the truth and judging by the shocked look on her face he apparently neither did Buttercup.
“Whatever,’’ he mumbled, “I’m going home.” He turned again, this time resigning himself to just walk the several miles back in the rain. For some reason, he felt like he deserved it.
“Butch.” He ignored her call. He should have known that wouldn’t stop her.
“Butch, stop. Look at me. Please.” Something about the way her voice trembled, how small she sounded - so unlike herself - made him comply.
As he turned around he couldn’t tell whether her face was wet from the rain or tears. But something in Butch told him that broken expression wasn’t pity. It was something far from it.
“I -” her voice failed. Instead of trying again, she threw herself at him. This time not to tackle him but to hug him. The impact almost made him topple over but he wrapped his arms around her instinctively and they both stumbled a bit until they stopped moving altogether.
They stayed like that for a while, her face tucked into his chest and holding on to him as if both their lives depended on it. Butch hated to admit that he was holding on just as desperately. It was Buttercup who finally broke the silence.
“I’m not sorry you were made in a fucking toilet. I’m not sorry I blew you up that one time or that you were resurrected or that we were enemies for a while. I am sorry that you had such an unfair childhood. Believe it or not, I know how it feels to be hated by everyone.”
“Yeah right, I don’t believe that. Who could ever hate a Powerpuff Girl?”
Buttercup’s responding scoff told him all he needed to know. That was a conversation for a different time though.
“You had a really shitty start in life but everything brought you here. To me. To us. And I’m not sorry about that. I will never be sorry about that. Let me help you make better memories of your birthday. Forget about the past and let's just focus on our future together.”
Butch had seldom seen his girlfriend look so sincere, so… soft. He closed his eyes and lowered his head. Even through the mud and rain, he could still catch the scent of apples that always lingered on her hair from her shampoo. In the back of his mind, he chalked it up to the one-third puppy dog in him.
“I’d like that,” he whispered. To a normal human, it would have been drowned out by the rain but Buttercup heard it just fine.
Their moment was rudely interrupted by one of his brothers sticking his head out the door to inform them everyone was waiting on them to finish so they could cut the cake. Butch sighed. Preparing himself to go back and face everyone he’d just raged in front of and get back on with the party.
“You guys go on without us,” Buttercup cut in to his surprise, “I think we’re going to go celebrate on our own”
“Ok…” Boomer said. He gave them a weird look but left them alone.
“You didn’t have to do that. Even if I was being a dick earlier I know how hard you worked to do this for me.”
“You’re right, you were being a dick,” they both chuckled a bit before Buttercup continued, “but I get it now. I was serious about making better memories but let's start small. Maybe a movie at your place, a cupcake or two if you’re feeling festive.”
“I love you.” he sighed, bringing his hands up to wipe the water off her face. His efforts were futile as it was still very much raining but the gesture was nice.
“I know.”
As Buttercup pulled him down into a kiss Butch couldn’t help but think that maybe he had birthdays all wrong. And that it also wouldn’t hurt if he started opening up a little more to this woman he was lucky enough to call his.