Chapter Text
It had been two months since the Doctor and River Song had parted ways on Darillium. While the TARDIS was doing her best to make the transition easier on him, he still had not yet found a companion. Not that he minded being on his own too much. At least, he did not think he was as bad off as everyone thought he might be. Besides, being on his own led to meeting more people. He wasn’t dependent on just one person. While it sometimes took a bit for people to trust him, he figured that people who didn’t trust him weren’t worth the time or effort.
Still, an idle or bored Time Lord was never good, especially when it came to the alien who’s best attribute was running. He had been running ever since he had looked into the Untempered Schism. Eight years old, which was so. Very. Long. Ago. Especially when he thought about his time in the Confession Dial. He did not know what he was running away from this time. Something told him that he should probably use this time to do something more productive than run, but he just needed something beyond the silence.
The silence had been quite the issue in his Ninth and Tenth bodies. During his last Regeneration, it had quelled a bit. That, or he had gotten used to it. Now, without a full-time companion, it had returned with a vengeance. It gave him too much time to think. Perhaps that is what he was running from… It could not possibly have anything to do with how he constantly questioned if he was a good man or not or with the pain and sorrow that resided in his soul after sending River on her way.
He blocked the disapproval of the TARDIS out of his mind. He just could not deal with that on top of all the other thoughts in his head. Oh, he knew she was only trying to help, but right now, her single voice only reminded him of the additional voices he wanted to hear. So many companions lost along the way…
He did not pull out any tools or hit her, but he was not exactly gentle as he pushed buttons and pulled levers. Suddenly, the TARDIS materialized. He did not want to stop. He wanted to keep running. The Doctor did everything he could to get her going again, but she simply refused to budge. Finally, in aggravation, he kicked the console and hurt his foot. “Owwww!”.
He slumped back onto one of the sets of stairs, cradling his foot. When the throbbing ceased, he stood and spoke crossly to the central column. “What are you doing? Why have you stopped?”
The TARDIS remained quiet. Well, yes he was blocking her out a bit. He huffed and thought about the times when Amy and Rory would fight. “Lovers’ Quarrel,” indeed. The Doctor sighed, walked towards the door, opened it, and walked through the doors.
The Doctor was a bit shocked at the sight that greeted him. He was just outside of what was obviously a twenty-first century prison. The only part of the name he could see was “Woman’s Facility.” He turned back to the TARDIS trying to figure out what her game was. When he turned back around, he saw a guard escorting a woman out of the prison. She was in her 30’s and after a few moments, he realised that she was a woman that he recognised, even though she had grown and aged. He never forgot any of his companions – no matter how long or short their time together. Well, unless an outside force caused him to forget. He still didn’t have memories of Clara, even if he had worked to piece their time together. His breath hitched as he quietly spoke the woman’s name, “Brielle.”
She was the only woman in the whole of Creation that he had ever intentionally allowed to listen to “His Song.” Of course, at the time, he thought he was on a journey to his death, so although she had asked him if she would see him again, he really did not think she would. He closed his eyes for a moment, remembering how he had helped her. And oddly, how she had helped him. He had no idea what purpose her presence had served in his life until Ood Sigma had appeared to “Sing him to his sleep.” Sharing his song with her had made him more receptive to the song the Ood were singing for him.
His focus returned to the scene before him. The guard handed Brielle a small bag and then returned to the inside of the prison. She turned to face the parking lot. Even from this distance, she looked like she wanted to return with the guard. The Doctor sighed. “Oh, Brielle, what has happened to you?”
He strained onto his tiptoes to see if anyone was waiting for her or had come to pick her up. She looked lost. The Doctor looked at the TARDIS. “No. Not going down ‘Memory Lane’! Had enough of that already!”
He stalked back to the doors and tried to open them, but they remained stubbornly closed, no matter what he did to gain entrance. He sighed as his gaze returned to Brielle. She sank to the ground where she was and wrapped her arms around her legs. He shoved his hands in his pockets and started to slowly walk toward her. The TARDIS had materialized around the corner from the entrance to the building. He had to walk around the fenced yard to get to where Brielle was sitting.
When the Doctor saw the expression on Brielle’s face, a bit of his compassion broke through. He recognized the look. It was one of defeat and agony. It was a look of unending sadness. He had seen it in the mirror on his own features. He knows he wore it so many times in his Confession Dial. When he thought about it, the prison probably hadn’t been all that different for Brielle. Whatever had happened to her had obviously hardened her. He silently cursed himself. Had he saved her that day only to sentence her to this, whatever “this” was?
He did not expect her to recognize him – it had been two bodies and billions of years ago when he had met her last time. She did not move and gave no acknowledgement to his approach. For the first time in a long time, he found himself at a loss for words. A part of him wanted to return to the TARDIS and simply leave, but another part of him could not resist the mystery that she posed. Whatever events had led to Brielle being in prison, he strongly doubted that she was actually guilty of it, or if she was, there had to have been extenuating circumstances.
He stopped a few feet away from her. He did not want to startle her or provoke an attack from her like he had done the last time. Then he remembered, he should say something. He paused for a few moments, trying to think of the perfect words. “Hullo, Brielle.”
He groaned inwardly. It felt like such a petty greeting in the face of the haunted look in her eyes. She stood while picking up the small bag. She avoided making eye contact with him. But she did not seem surprised that a stranger would speak to her so casually. Her voice was so soft when she spoke that he nearly did not hear her. “Are you my ride?”
He looked from her, to the TARDIS, to the parking lot with no one waiting for her. He sighed and replied just as quietly. “I suppose I am.”
She still did not make eye contact. He gestured with his arm to invite her to walk with him. She did not move until he did and even then, she walked a little in front of him and not next to him. It seemed odd to him that she would take the lead, but then he realised she was not actually leading him. She was using some ingrained sense of… Oh! Well, yes. Prisoner. She would be used to being forced to walk in front of the guards.
They continued in silence. The Doctor led Brielle back to the TARDIS, still not knowing if she remembered him or not. He was unsure how she would respond to a Police Box after being released from a prison. He did not have a choice, but he would have preferred it to be easier on her. He got to the TARDIS doors and pulled the key out to unlock them. He turned to face her, his tone more gentle than usual. “I’m the Doctor. This is the TARDIS. And it’s bigger on the inside.”
She still did not make eye contact, but nodded her head in acknowledgement. With that he opened the door. “I think you should go first.”
He could tell her experience in prison had trained her that she should always do what she was told. It had probably killed any sense of autonomy she had. There was going to be a lot of work to help get her back on her feet. She walked in first and he tried to unknot his stomach as he thought that she was doing as he ordered rather than as he suggested. He followed behind and shut the doors.
The Doctor was watching Brielle’s every move. He could tell she was completely numb to all around her. Bit disappointing. He figured that she would have some reaction to all the changes or if she did not remember, at least a response to being on the TARDIS in general. But another part of him figured that it was just because she was in a state of shock. He walked over to the console, pressed the preset that sent them into the Vortex, and released the handbrake. The Doctor silently thanked the TARDIS for such a smooth transition.
Once they were in the Vortex, he looked Brielle up and down. She was very thin. He would want to run a full set of tests in the medical bay, but not yet. First he had to figure out if she remembered anything about their last encounter. He cleared his throat. “I don’t know if you remember me, but I’m the Doctor. We met when you fell through some ice trying to rescue your trumpet...”
He watched her features. When she gave no indication of recognition, he continued, “Are you hungry?”
She shrugged her shoulders. “Well,” he thought to himself, “At least that’s a reply.”
He led her to the kitchen. He pulled out some bread and instant soup and started the kettle for some tea. She stood there, clutching her little bag and not sitting down. He sighed when he realized just how well trained the guards had her. “You can sit, if you want. You don’t have to wait for my permission.”
Again, she nodded a bit mechanically and sat. She placed her bag on the table next to her. He set a small plate with the bread on it in front of her. She looked like she was about to wait for permission again, but then her hunger over-took her and she grabbed the bread and started eating it quickly.
The Doctor smiled at first, since she did something without invitation, but he was worried about her getting sick. He slowly knelt next to her so as not to startle her. He tried to catch her attention with just his physical proximity. When she did not seem to notice him, he gently touched one of her hands. She winced, but it was almost a violent reaction. Typical. The one time he makes an effort to touch another and this is what he gets. Still, he figured he had her attention now. “Go slower, I don’t want you to get sick.”
Even though he had been extremely gentle, calm, and soft-spoken, there was a look of horror and panic in Brielle’s eyes. He cursed himself internally and then stood to finish the tea. The soup was ready, so he brought it over to her. “Be careful it’s hot. And you don’t have to stop eating altogether. Just… go a bit slower.”
She again nodded absently. He did not like to see her like this. It was like looking at a ghost or a shadow. He scoffed as he thought to himself, “Or a regeneration.” Prison had obviously stripped every sense of self away from her. And he did not know what to do with it. He could not connect to humans in this body in the way he had before. If memory served, though, she had not been all that bothered by the fact that he was an alien.
When the tea was ready, he brought over the two mugs and sat across from her. She was halfway through her soup when she turned colour. He could tell she was about to vomit, but wanted to see how she would handle it. He tried not to grimace as he could tell the first time she swallowed it back. The second time proved too much and she ran to the sink and vomited in there. When she was done, she rinsed her mouth out. Then, it was as if she started to act on autopilot. Her eyes were again wide with fear. “I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to!”
He was stunned into silence at the sound of her voice. Like his own, it was older than he remembered, but that fear – that was very familiar indeed. He watched in horror as she reached into the sink to try to pick up the sick and swallow it. That was too much. The Doctor sprang to his feet and was next to her in two strides. “Brielle, No! Stop. You don’t have to do that here.”
She was crying and fighting against him. He had to force her hands under the water and then he used the nozzle to rinse the rest of the vomit down the drain. He quickly moistened a flannel and wiped her face down. He turned back to the sink and Brielle collapsed on the floor in a sitting position. She was using her arms to cover as much of her body as possible. He dried his hands and squatted next to her. “Brielle? I’m not going to hurt you. Come back to the table, I’m sure if you drink a bit of tea it will calm your stomach.”
She violently shook her head no. He nodded. “Okay, you don’t have to eat anymore. Would you like to lie down?”
She curled more tightly around herself in response. He could put her to sleep, but in her current condition, he really was not sure what that would do to her. He simply said her name again. He spoke it barely above a whisper. He extended his hand into what he thought would be her line of sight and when she didn’t take it, he gently put it under her forearm. He helped her to stand and she grabbed her little bag as they passed the table.
He led her across the hall to where the TARDIS had a room ready for her. It was simple, but was probably more than she had in the last… however long she had been in prison. The Doctor turned the bedclothes down for her. When he turned back around, he noticed Brielle had taken off all of her clothes. She then moved to the bed in a wanton manner. The Doctor swallowed thickly and covered her over. Her face fell as she spoke softly. “I thought you wanted to lie down. Do I not please you?”
The Doctor was surprised to realise that a few tears began to form in his eyes. “Oh, Brielle… You don’t have to do that to please me.” He knew it was dangerous but he rested his hand on her cheek - a part of him still saw her as the young girl he had met so long ago. “Just get some rest.” He bit his lip, but decided if she was in shock, that maybe she had disassociated and did not really know where she was. For now, he played along with the images. “I just want to know you're safe.”
She looked like she was trying to process that, but she finally closed her eyes. The Doctor sighed with relief; it had worked! She seemed to succumb to sleep a few minutes later. He stayed to watch over her for a bit and when he was certain she was sleeping, he exited her room and made for the console room.
The TARDIS was again being very cooperative and had placed Brielle’s room right next to the Control Room, so he would be able to hear her if she needed him. He now understood partly why the TARDIS had landed when she did. Brielle clearly needed help. He just wished he was more confident in being able to offer it.
The Doctor entered the control room and walked over to the monitor. Normally, he would allow people to tell him their stories in their own time. This time, he did not think it would be a good idea to wait. He needed to know what he was going to have to deal with. He decided to research her life.
The TARDIS database compiled all the records about her. He found that she had graduated high school on time. Not the highest in her class, but not the lowest either. The same could be said for college. There was one a police report about domestic violence in her home one summer before her junior year in college. She had made the call, but it was about her father hitting her mother. He sighed, remembering his first encounter with her. It had probably been going on for sometime and she finally felt she was in a position to do something about it and if the consequences were disownment, she would still be able to survive on her own by then. He continued on, she graduated college and then received an internship in another state. Due to homesickness, she had returned home about eighteen months later.
That was when the story turned depressing. She began to work at a shelter for abused and abandoned children. The Doctor smiled softly at that. All the abuse she had suffered and all she wanted to do was help others. That was six years ago, her linear time. According to a police report, she had sexually assaulted one of the children. The Doctor’s hearts dropped into his stomach. He could not imagine her doing that.
He pulled up police reports and trial notes. He learned that she had been terrorised every step of the way, one of the notes showed that when the prosecuting attorney was confronted about his tactics of going after an innocent person, he replied, “Well someone needs to pay for the crimes committed against that child.”
The Doctor’s blood boiled upon reading that. He shouted at the screen, “Going after another innocent is no better!”
He went back to the main reports. Brielle was found guilty at trial and sentenced to 50 years in the women’s correctional facility. Over the course of the investigation and trial, her family and friends had abandoned her. He then turned to the prison reports. They documented how she had been abused, raped, and attacked in the most horrible ways. He scoffed to himself. Inmates have a ‘code of ethics’ of their own and nothing was worse then harming a child sexually, so the other inmates thought they were exacting justice by attacking her.
Nowhere, in any of the prison reports did it say that Brielle had talked about her innocence. Perhaps the trial had destroyed any sense of hope she had. Perhaps she thought things would be easier for her if she simply accepted what was happening to her. “More likely,” the Doctor thought, “The abuse she had suffered from her classmates, and apparently witnessed in her home, had convinced her that she somehow deserved everything that was happening to her.”
The Doctor hung his head in an attempt to control his emotions. He did not want to care. He was not that kind of man any more. But, the suffering Brielle had endured, well it was hard not to care in the face of it. She had just turned twenty-five when the accusation had been made. She was barely getting started with her adult life and her adult life was over because of a lie and a court system that allowed for such horrible tactics. He forced himself to continue reading.
Her attorney was the only one to not give up on her. The woman had worked tirelessly on her behalf for nearly five years. She was able to prove Brielle’s innocence and had gotten her sentence overturned. The day before Brielle was due to be released, the attorney was found dead, presumed of a heart attack. A later report showed that the child, who was now seventeen, was going to be arrested for a string of false accusations made starting with three before the one made against Brielle. The child had drugged Brielle’s attorney and ended up in prison for her murder.
The Doctor would have to keep that to himself, since that had not yet happened in Brielle’s timeline. He wondered if the reason no one was there to pick her up was because her attorney was supposed to be there. He could only presume that even if anyone in the prison had known, they had not told her. Well, as far as he knew, anyway. Once she was more cognitive of her surroundings, he would have to ask some questions to find out how much she knew.
After that, it was as if Brielle disappeared off the face of the Earth. There were no death reports, no name changes, and no glimpses on CCTV. The Doctor searched all the databases the TARDIS had access to, but there was just… nothing.
After several hours of this research, the Doctor finally switched off the monitor and turned to lean back against the console. He ran his hands over his face and made a sound of frustration. He knew more about Brielle than he ever wanted to and he knew the road ahead would be a long one for her. He turned back to the central column. “Yes, she needed someone, but I’m not the sort of man she needs. I wouldn’t be good for her.”
“Rubbish.” The TARDIS spoke into his mind.
He continued to stare at the column. “Really? What good could I possibly be in the face if this?”
“She needs to be reminded of her Song.”
The Doctor growled. “It’s not as easy as that and you know it!”
“I did not say it would be easy, I said it is what she needs.”
He scoffed. “And clearly you think it’s something I need too.”
The TARDIS hummed a sad sort of acknowledgement. A moment later, a horrified scream tore through the TARDIS. The Doctor ran to Brielle’s room. She was still asleep, in the obvious throws of a night terror. He watched her as her violent moves tangled the bedclothes around her. That was when he remembered she was naked. He walked back over to her pile of clothes and straightened them out on the near-by chair. He picked up her bag and figured it contained all of her earthly possessions. He resisted the urge to go through it and set it on top of her clothes. Then he turned to the small cupboard in her room and pulled out a fluffy and comfortable bathrobe. He went to the bureau and pulled a nightshirt out for her. He placed both on her bed. She was no longer screaming, but he could tell she was still having a nightmare.
Finally, when the Doctor could stand it no more, he decided to try to wake her. The trick was to not shout at her and not touch her. He knew well enough from his own nightmares how startling it could be to waken from them. He kneeled next to the bed and whispered in her ear. “Brielle.”
Being a touch telepath he was not sure it would work, but it had with Rose, so maybe it would. He called again. “Brielle.”
She seemed to calm slightly. Very softly, the sound of the TARDIS changed within her room. A look of disgust formed across his features as he recognized the ‘sounds of the universe’ being played in her room. But, then he saw how it calmed the woman in the bed. He rested his hand on the wall affectionately, but his words were like steel. “Fine. You always know best! I’ll help her as best I can.”
“That is all I have ever asked of you, my Pilot.”
The Doctor wanted to grimace at her affectionate tone, but instead it came out as a faint smile. As the music got louder, Brielle became less agitated. The Doctor called to her again. “Brielle.”
She moaned softly and stretched. He could tell she was beginning to wake up. He opted to give her some space; he decided to move her clothes again and pulled the chair closer to her. Then, he sat down, rested his arms on his knees, leaned forward, and watched her intently.