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One day Scara finally decides to confide in Kazuha and tell him about the past, about his feelings, rather about what he felt, or thought he felt. He was so confused and tired, and it wasn't that he wanted Kazuha to help him figure it out, but... no, he probably wanted it by some distant part of his soul. But for the most part, he decides because something tells him that if he tells everything, the past will crumble to dust, giving way to hope for the future, such an obsessive feeling that he cannot fight. Well, a little more, perhaps, the desire to be frankly honest with Kaedehara - the desire to show him his selfish nature, thereby alienating, forcing him to scorn. He wants Kazuha to leave and not come back, so that this hateful ghostly thread of affection ends as soon as possible, until it becomes too painful.
So they're sitting here, under the moon and the flowering tree, and he's talking. He tells how much anger and hatred he feels for his creator, how much unbearable resentment he has in his soul for her - but even more for himself. He doesn't know why, but he can't wish her dead. Wish to feel everything that he felt himself - he wishes, he wants her to be in the same pain, he wants revenge and her remorse. He clenches fists and looks at the stars, not understanding why he needs her remorse.
Kazuha listens attentively, without interrupting, and only after a minute of silence says "You want to forgive her."
Scara turns around uncomprehendingly, the words are absolutely meaningless, what kind of forgiveness can he talk about after hundreds of years of hatred?
But Kazuha continues "The connection between the creator and the creation... No, between a mother and a child, it's not so easy to break. Under your rage is deeply buried the desire to get recognition from her, to hear words of approval, pride. The truth is, Scara, that despite everything, despite all the anger and resentment, despite the desire for revenge, a very distant, hidden part even from himself... you still love her. You would like to be loved by her."
Skara wants to punch him in the face, but he restrains himself, hisses in response that Kazuha didn't understand anything. Jumps to a story about something else, about life on Tatarasuna. He talks about how it was nice to live with people, how warm it was in the company of swordsmen. He remembers with a smile how Niwa's strong hands guided and taught him. The smile disappears when the image of a woman appears before the eyes. He says he wanted to destroy her and everyone else who stole attention meant only for him. He wanted to appropriate, devour or drown himself in this attention, he wanted to be the center of the universe. For the first time then he felt like a part of humanity, and it seemed to him that if anyone turned away from him only for a moment, this mirage would dissipate. He looks expectantly at Kazuha, with a question clearly visible in his eyes, do you see how selfish and petty I am?
Kazuha shakes his head "Jealousy is the most human feeling, Scara. People always dream of being someone's only ones, and the desire not to share attention is quite understandable to me. You loved him, and you would like to be loved by him."
He wants to cry. A heavy scratching feeling settles somewhere inside, where there is emptiness. He clenches his fists again and is silent for a long time before continuing.
He's talking about the child. Pathetic, weak, sick. About how the sight enraged him at all humanity. He hated this fragility, he wanted it to disappear, ceasing to resemble himself.
Kazuha puts his hand on tense shoulders and says "You were afraid it would break." he stammers, definitely not saying just like you "You loved him, and you loved him with the love that you wanted to feel. You just wanted to be loved."
Scara feels his cheeks burning with tears. It seems to him that Kazuha got into his soul and put the mess on the shelves. And he hates it, to be honest, he would prefer not to understand, just not to feel so vulnerable right now. What was he even hoping for when he decided to tell Kaedehara-I-understand-everything-Kazuha? The fact that he, like everyone else, will just wave his hand and turn away in disgust?
The plan definitely failed when Kazuha wipes the tears, looks into his eyes and says
"What if I tell you that you're loved?"