Chapter Text
IF IT WASN'T FOR HER BOYFRIEND, ELINA PERRY WOULD HAVE NEVER RECONNECTED WITH HER OLDER SISTER. And if it wasn't for Britta and her way with words, Elina would have never enrolled at Greendale Community College.
She didn't feel like she needed a college degree. She had a job, an apartment, and a plan for her life. She was on her way to greatness, but the moment Britta batted her lashes at her and begged her to enroll, she did. She never could say no to Britta, even when she knew that what she had planned would get her in trouble.
Upon her time at Greendale, she had noticed just how... small it is. The dean was a bit of a weirdo, but he was nice to Elina. She was sitting on the square with Britta, a book open on her older sister's lap. Elina had an open bag of Twizzlers in her backpack, digging through for a new piece as she scrolled through her cellphone.
"I can't do this," Britta sighed, slamming her book closed. Elina looked up for a brief moment before turning her attention back onto her phone. "That's not true," she replied, her tone gentle. Britta huffed in annoyance at her sister.
"I'm serious, Ellie. I cannot retain this Spanish. It's like I have an ad-blocker in my brain." Sensing the seriousness within Britta's tone, Elina locked her phone and gave her her full, undivided attention. Her head tilted curiously. "Well, have you tried memorizing the words with music?" she asked. "I hear that it helps a lot."
Britta scoffed. "No," she answered. "And I don't think that would help me." Elina shrugged, pointing her half eaten piece of Twizzler toward her sister. Britta's eyes landed on the chewed candy for a moment before meeting her eyes once more. "Spanish is pretty easy, in my opinion," Elina sighed. "I could always help you. Tutor you like you tutored me in Civics class."
The oldest Perry grimaced. Both of them thought back on the old days. It was mostly Elina crying while Britta tried to implant the knowledge in her head through loud shouting and pulling out her own hair. "Yeah, I think I'm going to pass. Thanks for the offer, though."
"Maybe we can find a study group!" Elina chirped. "We could make friends, maybe you could find someone interesting." She popped the remaining pieces of her Twizzler into her mouth with a big grin. Britta shook her head. She reached forward just enough to take out her own piece of candy. "No, thanks. Where are you headed?"
Elina's first instinct was to check her phone. She only had twenty minutes to get to her first class. "Oh, shoot. I have Marketing in twenty minutes." She shoved down her Twizzler bag and zipped up her backpack in a haste. "I'll see you later. Are we still on for tonight?"
"Would I ever turn down Applebee's?" Britta replied with an amused grin. Elina pushed herself to her feet with a snort. Without another word, she darted off. She moved through the square in a hurry, her eyes flickering between her phone and the square.
It wasn't until she collided with a back that she finally looked up completely. Her phone slipped from her grasp, her opposite hand grabbing a hold of the elbow in front of her. "Oh, my God," she gasped, taking a staggered step away from the person she had just barreled into. A man standing exactly a foot taller than her turned around to face her. Her eyes dropped toward her phone sitting on the ground. In one, swift movement, she snatched it up, silently praying that the screen hadn't broken.
"I'm so sorry. I was looking at my phone and running because I have class in twenty minutes and I'm not remotely close to my classroom. And then I ran into you–" Elina abruptly stopped speaking, her blue eyes widening. The victim in her hit and run only smiled at her, clearly amused with her rambling. "Can't say that this doesn't happen all of the time," he replied, chuckling to himself.
Her head tilted slightly in confusion. "I'm sorry?" She smiled, her eyes narrowing at him. He shook his head, sliding his hand between them. "I'm Jeff. Jeff Winger," he introduced himself with a grin. She glanced at his hand before slipping her own hand within his. "Elina Perry," she replied, beaming up at the man. "I'm sorry again. I swear that I'll never look at my phone and walk again."
"Good," he laughed. "Speaking of phones. I'd like to ask for your number." Her brows lifted in surprise. The only thing she knew about this man was his name. Her tongue poked slightly between her teeth before she grimaced. "Next time," she replied. He seemed stunned by her response. "I'm sorry, I've got to go. It was nice meeting you, though!"
She patted his chest with a big smile before slipping past him. Jeff turned, watching her leave with a smile on his face.
***
Every lunch so far, Elina spent with her boyfriend, Mack. This lunch was no different, save for the fact that he had brought it on campus for an impromptu picnic. Seeing Mack with a big bag of McDonald's, most likely full of her favorite things, made her heart beat that tiny bit quicker. She approached the brunette with a wide grin, greeting him with a sweet kiss.
"You are an angel," she whispered, arms wounding tight around his waist. His free hand cupped her cheek tenderly, brushing her blonde locks from her face. "Well, obviously," he replied in a joking manner. "I've got a blanket in the truck. We can picnic it up." Her hands locked behind his back, trapping him in her embrace.
She peered up in his pretty, brown eyes with a beaming smile. Slowly, however, it began to disappear. "You know Spanish, right?" she asked, her grip around him loosening. He snorted, brows lowered over his eyes. "I mean, kind of. Jorge has been trying to teach me a few things." She bit down on her bottom lip and slipped out of his embrace. She took the bag from him with a grin. "Want to tutor Britta?"
"No," he replied, a bit too quick. Elina's smile fell from her face just as fast. "Wow," she blurted out. "You didn't have to think about it, huh?" His hands moved to his hips. Elina knew that Britta and Mack didn't always get along. They were two people with two very strong personalities, but she hadn't expected him to reject her so quickly. "I'm sorry, baby. You know I love you, but Britta is difficult."
"It's not like I wouldn't be there," she interrupted him, her tone growing upset. "I wasn't saying that the two of you had to do it alone. I'm taking Spanish 101 as well." Mack's arms reached out for Elina. With ease, he gripped her shoulders and pulled her closer to him. "I can't, baby. Have you guys thought about a study group?"
Slipping out of his grasp with a pout, Elina began approaching where Mack had parked his truck. "She said no," she answered him, already rummaging around in the bag for french fries. They were still warm. Mack followed after her, matching her stride with ease. "She give you a reason?"
"Of course not," Elina huffed, popping a handful of fries into her mouth. He was quick to pull out his keys and unlock his truck. "She's really struggling, though, and I'm starting to feel bad because I can't help her." He took out the big blanket reserved for their special afternoon. "You can't help everybody," he reminded her, slamming his truck door and tossing the blanket over his shoulder. She frowned.
He locked his door before turning back to his girlfriend. Noticing her frown, he reached forward and placed his hand on the back of her head, tugging her forward so he could kiss her forehead. "I know you want to help, but sometimes your hands are just tied." She waved off his words with a hand full of fries. She hadn't realized just how hungry she was until she ate her first one. "I'm going to figure something out. No thanks to you."
He grinned sweetly, running his fingers through her straightened hair. "Anytime," he replied to her snarky remark with genuine amusement. She shoved his hand away, ignoring the fluttering in her chest. "I'm hungry," she stated, peering up at him through her thick lashes. He laughed. "Let's go find somewhere to park it and get some food into that cute little body of yours."
Her pout washed away with her smile. Happy now, she reached for his hand and laced their fingers together. "You're not supposed to be fattening me up, you know. That's the wife's job." His shoulder bumped hers as she dragged him back toward the square. She was going to set up right in front of the fountain. It was the most romantic spot she could think of.
"You can't stop me," he joked, looping their conjoined hands around her body. His arm weighed heavily against her shoulders. She rolled her eyes, pressing a kiss to his wrist that rested next to her neck. "How's your day going so far? Any tardies?" he asked as they approached the fountain. She grimaced.
"My Spanish professor is a lunatic," she admitted. The two stopped before the fountain and unraveled themselves from one another. He folded the blanket perfectly to keep their butts from hurting. Now sitting down, Elina continued to rant about her day. "Besides Señor Chang being a psycho, I was almost late to Marketing this morning. I was so busy watching this cat video I had found that I just ran straight into this guy. And then, of course, he wanted to chat. And I felt so guilty for basically face planting in his back that I entertained the conversation until I really had to go."
Mack unpacked their food. A double quarter pounder for him and a Big Mac for her. He had bought a ten piece chicken nugget box along with the fries, just in case. "And then my cosmetology teacher was in a mood today. I think she's splitting with her husband, which is so sad. I couldn't imagine what it would feel like if we broke up." She popped open her burger box with a hum. The burger looked like it had been thrown into the box sideways.
"But enough about me. How is your day going?" she asked right before taking a giant bite of her burger. Her taste buds exploded in ecstasy. Mack shrugged his shoulders. "Not as entertaining as yours," he admitted. "I just sat in the office with Patty most of the day. She's not doing too well."
The mention of the mechanic shop's cat was enough to have captured Elina's attention. "What's going on?" she asked, tongue lapping at the sauce that had rolled over her fingers. He shrugged his shoulders before taking a bite of his own food. "Is she, like, lethargic? Having trouble eating?"
"I don't know, Ellie. I'm not a vet," he replied, brows pursed. She shrunk back, eye wide. "I know that," she mumbled. "I was just curious. That's all." She took another bite with a frown. There was a brief pause in their conversation. Elina hated when he got frustrated with her. He always snapped and it always hurt her feelings.
Before she could start up the conversation once more, the sound of her phone buzzing against the books in her backpack got her attention. Setting aside her food, Elina turned to her bag and dug it out. "Who's texting you?" he asked, leaning toward her to get a look at the screen. She responded lowly, "Britta."
Her eyes suddenly widened. "Oh, my God." Her head whipped toward her boyfriend, blonde locks narrowly missing his face. "She found a study group! They're meeting at four!" His brows furrowed. His eyes watched the way her face lit up at the news. "Good for her," he said, turning back to his meal. "You don't need help in Spanish, though, right?"
She glanced toward him with a quizzical expression. "I mean, if you need help, I'll happily help," he continued, pulling a large onion from his burger. She smiled, but shook her head. "That's sweet, but I think I might give the study group a try. Maybe it'll help me find some friends outside of work."
She didn't notice the tick in his jaw, or the way he moved further from her. Her attention went right back to her phone, happily texting a reply to Britta expressing her excitement.
***
"Bri!" Elina exclaimed upon spotting her sister. The older Perry turned abruptly to find her younger sister approaching. She looked ecstatic to be there, something the eldest found strange. Who could ever be excited to study?
Britta greeted her sister with an amused smile, waving at the younger girl. "You made it," she mused, reaching forward and ruffling her blonde hair. Elina snorted, moving her hair back into place. "Duh. This is probably the best opportunity for me to make friends that don't only want to talk about makeup."
"That sounds like your fault," Britta teased the girl. Elina only waved her off, brushing past her comment nonchalantly. The younger girl looped her arm with her sister's, beaming over at her full force. "Let's go. I don't want to be late. We need good seats."
Britta rolled her eyes at her sister's enthusiasm, but obliged with her request. The duo walked toward the study room Britta's new tutor had reserved. There was only one person present, and he was speaking lowly to himself in what Elina presumed was Spanish.
Once they entered, Elina knocked on the door. He spun around, surprised to see both blondes together. "Bienvenido," he greeted, standing from his seat. "Hey, alright... Come on in." Elina stared at him in surprise. If he was surprised, he definitely didn't show it. "I rented the table. And, uh, yeah. Here's the contract sheet."
Britta approached the table with Elina on her arm. The two turned toward Jeff in surprise. "A contract sheet?" Elina whispered, turning her head toward her sister. Britta only shrugged as she began setting her things down. "Just put your stuff there. That's–"
Jeff smiled over at Elina. She sucked in a breath, wide eyes dropping to the table. "Man, the rest of the group is running late." He glanced behind him at the door, hands moving to his hips. "But, um, the three of us can get acquainted."
"You may have noticed this morning, not so good at small talk," Britta said. Jeff nodded his head. "Yeah. I like big talk," he replied, pulling a laugh from the younger Perry. Elina shook her head, hiding behind a curtain of her blonde hair. "You two know each other?" he asked.
Britta glanced toward her sister. "She's my little sister," she answered, brows furrowed. "Have you two met?" Jeff smiled over at the younger girl. Elina bit her lip. "Yes," Jeff finally answered. "When she almost knocked me over."
Elina couldn't fight the grimace from her face. Her skin flushed in embarrassment. "I'm so sorry," she muttered, hiding her face behind her hands. Britta's eyes narrowed at the man suspiciously. "It's alright, though. I'm a big boy."
That you are, Elina thought to herself. "So, you two are sisters." Britta nodded her head. Suddenly, she began to feel a little protective over Elina. She knew that his study group could have been a way for him to hit on her, but she also couldn't risk not accepting. If she failed Spanish, she'd be screwed. "Yeah," she deadpanned.
"Interesting. Good to know." Jeff took a seat, leaving the two Perry sisters standing. "So, um, what's you guys' deal?" He looked up at the two. Britta and Elina could not be more different. While Britta seemed outgoing and strong, Elina appeared more timid and sweet. She reminded him a lot of a little mouse. "Straight to the point," Britta said, chuckling to herself.
"Nothing," Elina blurted out. "I'm just here... to make friends." She glanced toward Jeff shyly. She hadn't noticed how handsome Jeff was before. Before, her mind was all scattered. But, now, she could get a good look at him, and it's hard to ignore just how good looking he is. "It's a good place to start," Jeff told her. He folded his hands before him, leaning against the table.
Britta glanced at the door when she suddenly shouted. "Abed! In the house." Confused, both Jeff and Elina glanced toward the door where a tall, lanky fellow entered. "Whoo!" Britta cheered, taking a seat. Abed mimicked her exclamation with a small smile. "Whoo. Why?" Jeff asked Abed.
Abed took a chair and approached Britta and Elina. "Britta invited me. Is that cool?" he asked, slipping past Elina and setting his chair next to the blonde. "Oh, I can't think of a single logical reason why not," Jeff replied, though there was a slight edge to his voice.
"I need a chair," Elina muttered to herself. She moved back toward the door and picked up her own, turning toward the group. "Here, put your info down right there." Jeff passed the paper toward Abed. Abed seemed to be prepared, taking a pencil out of his pocket. "Cool, cool, cool. Cool, cool, cool."
Elina sat beside Britta with an excited smile. Despite the weirdness at first, she recalled just how excited she had been before. She was joining a group of people to study Spanish. "Hey, this is kind of like Breakfast Club, huh?" Abed asked, and Elina almost squealed in delight. "It really is!" she agreed, attracting Jeff's attention. "Except we're not here against our will."
"I'm sure we've each got an issue balled up inside that would make us cry if we talked about it," Abed continued. Jeff watched as Elina's smile faltered slightly. That surely wasn't the direction she had expected it to go. "Do you have something balled up inside you?" Britta asked Abed curiously.
Abed's head tilted slightly to the side. "I got doozy in the chamber if things get emotional," he answered. Suddenly, a cell phone chimed. "Hey, text message," Abed said, digging into his jacket pockets. He glanced between the three with a smile. "Let's give this bad boy a read."
"Uh, er, it's probably— It's just for your eyes," Jeff said. Abed ignored Jeff and read his message aloud. "Say you have to pee. I need to talk to you." Confused puckered between Elina's brows. She glanced toward her sister as Abed repeated the message. He tilted his phone for the two to see. "That is weird," Britta hummed.
"Do you have to pee?" Abed asked Jeff. Suddenly, it clicked in her brain. Elina glanced toward Jeff. "The message was from you," she exhaled, eyes widening. Jeff almost laughed at the look on her face. He shook his head. "No. That's so weird," Abed continued, oblivious.
Britta smiled. The whole situation seemed to amuse her. "Well, I'm stumped. That's very creepy." Abed nodded in agreement. The sound of another text chimed filled the room. "That makes two of us," Abed said. Britta glanced toward Jeff curiously. "What's that?" she asked.
"Does it say you have to pee?" Abed asked.
"It's just someone with a misguided grasp of abbreviation," Jeff answered. He suddenly stood up, a sigh leaving his lips. "I just need five minutes. Hey, um, Elina. Don't forget to add your information. I will be right back, but go ahead and study all the verbs in Spanish."
Abed was quick to pass Elina the paper. "Thank you, Abed," she hummed, taking the sheet before reaching into her backpack. Britta crossed her arms over her chest before turning toward her sister. "So, you ran into him."
With her ink pen now in hand, Elina scribbled her name and phone number onto the yellow sheet of paper. "I did," she replied, passing the paper back to Abed. Her eyes finally met her sister's. "It was an accident. I was watching a video on my phone."
"How many times have I told you to stop doing that?" Britta questioned. "Next time you could run into a pole. Or oncoming traffic." Eline poked her tongue out at her older sister. Abed had been silent during the conversation, listening. When the conversation seemed to have ended, though, he decided to speak up. "I invited more people from Spanish class."
Britta and Elina both glanced at Abed. "Cool," the eldest replied. Elina nodded in agreement. "The coolest."
***
"You guys aren't gonna believe this, but the rest of the group—"
Elina had decided on snagging the chair next to Annie. The moment the two met, it seemed that they clicked. Being similar in age really helped. Jeff stopped abruptly upon entering the room, stunned to see so many people inside. "Is here," he finished his sentence.
"Are you the board certified tutor?" the older gentleman asked.
"That means you do my homework, right, Seacrest?" the boy beside him asked. Elina frowned. The sweet, older woman on the other side of Annie spoke up. "I need to call my babysitter if we're going to be late."
"What board certifies a tutor?" Annie asked. Elina turned to face Jeff, offering him a sweet smile. She could tell that he was somewhat overwhelmed. It was written all over his face. "I invited people from Spanish class," Abed said, pointing toward the people he had invited. "Is that cool?" Jeff nodded his head. His teeth ground together for a short moment before responding, "The coolest!"
He glanced toward Elina, who sat right next to him. Their eyes met for a brief moment. "Well, I'm going to go to the bathroom. And bring my jacket, my wallet, and keys with me in case there's a fire." Surprise etched itself across Elina's face as Jeff gathered his things. Once they were in his arms, he darted out.
"Should we go with him?" Shirley asked.
"I'm gonna leave my homework with Slumdog Millionaire." Shirley gasped. "That's borderline racist," she scolded the boy.
"And also not how tutors work," Elina spoke up. Troy barely spared her a glance. The blonde glanced over her shoulder curiously. She knew that Britta had gone out to smoke. But a part of her did worry that Jeff wouldn't come back. If he truly was a board certified tutor, he could be a real help for them.
She sat back in her chair. "He doesn't look like he knows Spanish," Pierce said, gaining the other's attention. Shirley shook her head. "I know some Spanish," Elina said. "Do I look like I do?" Pierce looked at the blonde. His eyes moved over her face, to any part of her he could see really. After analyzing her appearance, he shook his head. "Nope."
She nodded, a faint smile crawling across her face. At least she proved him wrong. "If you know Spanish, why are you joining a study group?" Annie asked, her doe like eyes locked on Elina. The blonde's spine straightened under her gaze. "Um, I– I thought this would be a good opportunity for me to make some friends and practice my Spanish. I'm not fluent, so..."
"Is this the part where we share our reasons for joining?" Abed asked, glancing around the table. Shirley smiled over at the boy. She seemed so sweet. "Not today," came Jeff's voice as he re-entered the study room. Elina whirled around to find the tall man standing at the door, a smile immediately staining her face.
He flashed her a smile, followed by a wink. She felt her stomach grow warm. Britta slipped into the room from behind him, taking the seat on his opposite side. She smiled over at her younger sister. "Alright," Jeff began, his tone authoritative. Elina sucked in a silent breath.
"Look at this crew. All ready to study all night."
"I can stay till ten," Shirley chimed in. The rest of them began to argue, including Elina. She couldn't stay all night. She still had to get home and watch her episode of Glee. "But who studies with strangers, right? My name is Jeff."
"Jeff, it's a pleasure. My name is Pierce Hawthorne." The older man stood up and offered his hand to Jeff, who sat atop the big table and reached over to shake it. "And, yes, that is Hawthorne as in Hawthorne Wipes, the award-winning moist towelette." Pierce moved his hand before Jeff could shake it. Jeff backed away, hand clenched into a fist. "I was just going to ask," he said, sarcastically, before sitting down.
Immediately, he glanced over toward Elina, then to Britta. "I'm a Toastmaster. I should do the introductions." Jeff nodded with a small, "definitely!" Pleased, Pierce motioned toward Britta. "You know Brittles."
"Britta," the blonde corrected him, but he was already moving on. He pointed toward Abed next. "Abed. Abed the Arab. Is that inappropriate?" Abed gave a small shrug. "Sure," he replied. Pierce's hand then clapped Troy on the shoulder. "Roy, Roy, the wonder boy."
"Troy," Troy snapped, his jaw tensing. Elina couldn't help but frown. "Little Princess Elizabeth," Pierce continued, pointing toward the brunette beside Elina. She shook her head, correcting him. "Annie."
Elina felt her skin grow cold when Pierce pointed at her. "There's Barbie. Brittles' normal sister." Her eyes darted toward Britta. Her brows were furrowed. "It's Elina," she huffed out in annoyance. Pierce finally turned toward Shirley with a smile. "And this beautiful creature is named Shirley."
Jeff clicked his tongue against the roof of his mouth. "Is that even close?" he asked, expecting her to have a name miles away from what Pierce had called her. Shirley, though, obviously looked uncomfortable when she nodded. With a huff, Annie began speaking. "I'd like to know why I had to find out about this group on accident."
"Way more like Breakfast Club now," Abed declared. Elina glanced toward the man curiously. "There's breakfast?" Pierce asked. Suddenly, Elina felt her stomach grumble. She pressed her hand against her stomach firmly, hoping to silence the cries for food. "Okay!" Britta chimed in. "Maybe we should get started—"
"You know, I've been a part of a lot of study groups that fell apart because of unresolved tension. Shouldn't we address Annie's concern? Did we not invite her?"
Elina glanced toward Jeff. His hand was right in front of her, pointed in Annie's direction. She hadn't expected it to be so big, though she probably should have. "Well, Annie, sweetie, it's not behind your back," Shirley told the girl.
The brunette looked like she was almost to her breaking point. "Can we stop with the "pumpkins" and the "sweeties"?" she asked. "Being younger does not make me inferior. If anything, your age indicates that you've made bad life decisions."
"Woah, wait, Annie," Elina spoke up, leaning forward in her seat. "That's not at all how Shirley was talking to you. They're terms of endearment. You know?" Annie's eyes turned toward the blonde beside her. Jeff watched closely as she tried to diffuse the tension. It definitely fit with how he thought of her.
"That's okay, Elina," Shirley said, her hands tightened around one another. Jeff glanced toward the woman before instigating. "Shirley has a response," he declared. Shirley quickly began shaking her head. "No, no, no. No, I don't."
"It really looks like you do," Troy told her before Jeff encouraged her to speak. Shirley placed both hands on the table, taking in deep breaths and complying. "Okay, okay. Um... I'm sure I've made some bad life decisions. And maybe Annie's decisions will be better. Um, but I think she needs to decide whether she wants to be considered a child or an adult, because children get pity, but not respect, and adults, they get respect."
Her tone grew harsher and harsher. "They also get the back of they head grabbed and they face pushed through jukeboxes," the once sweet woman threatened. Elina gasped, her hand flying to cover her mouth. "Okay. Why don't we try learning "jukebox" in Spanish?" Britta asked.
It was then that Pierce decided to console the woman at his side by petting her hair. Shirley flinched from his touch, raising her fists, ready to strike. "What are you doing?!" she asked incredulously. And it seemed like Pierce was Jeff's next victim. "Pierce. Let's discuss this creepiness."
"Pardon you?"
Elina leaned toward Jeff before taking his elbow in her grasp. The man turned to find the blonde leaning in toward him and almost flinched. "I don't think this is helping," she whispered, big blue eyes peering up at him. He swallowed. "Trust me, alright?" he whispered back. "I've got this."
Her hand slipped from his body and back into her lap. Jeff offered her his best, fake assuring smile before turning back toward Pierce. "Are you unaware that Shirley finds your advances inappropriate?" he asked. Pierce paused before chuckling. "What advances?"
"You have been sexually harassing me since the very first day of class," Shirley stated. Elina frowned. Pierce seemed stunned. "Sexually harassing? What—? That makes no sense to me. Why would I harass somebody who turns me on?"
Elina felt nauseous at his sentence. Troy slammed his book onto the table, startling both Annie and Elina. "Saying she turns you on is the harassment, dude." Pierce turned toward Troy. "Hey. I am a prominent business leader and a highly sought-after dinner guest."
"Which most sexual harassers are," Elina chimed in, earning a nod from her sister, Annie, and Shirley. Pierce didn't seem to hear her. "And I will not take courting advice from some teenage boy."
Troy scoffed. "Well, this teenage boy is a quarterback and a prom king." Annie snorted silently. "You're not prom king anymore, Troy," she reminded him. "This isn't Riverside High." Troy's brows furrowed in confusion. His head tilted slightly. "How'd you know I went there?" he asked.
"Because you're still wearing your stupid letter jacket," she answered. Recognition flooded Troy's features. He pointed at Annie with the end of his pen. "Were you that girl that got hooked on pills and dropped out?" Annie visibly flinched at his question, and Troy laughed. "You're little Annie Adderall."
"And you're a stupid jock who lost his scholarship by dislocating both shoulders in a keg stand!" she fired back in a shout. Elina's wide eyes traveled over toward Britta, who looked equally as surprised. "Keg flip," Troy corrected her, "Very hard to pull off."
"Don't talk to me," Annie huffed.
"You don't know—- I'm a legend."
Elina blinked. "Did— Did you guys know that legend in Spanish is leyenda?" she asked, but her words were drowned out by the group's arguing. Jeff seemed thrilled with the outcome.
She began sliding her Spanish book and her notebook into her lap, readying herself to pack up her things. The group obviously wasn't working, and she wasn't going to sit and listen to them argue anymore. Or miss her Glee episode. But before she could, Abed was slamming his hands on the table firmly.
"You what I got for Christmas?" he asked. "It was a banner year at the Bender family. I got a carton of cigarettes." Elina's eyebrows furrowed once she noticed his train of thought. "The old man grabbed me. He said, "Hey, smoke up, Johnny." No, Dad, what about you?!"
Once his dialogue was complete, Abed returned to his smiley self. Elina would have applauded him for his great memory skills, but it didn't feel right for the moment. So, instead, she began sliding her books back into her backpack. "Well, that actually was from The Breakfast Club," Jeff said.
"Nobody puts Baby in the corner," Abed replied. A cell phone began ringing. The noise came just to her right where Jeff stood. "Dirty Dancing," Jeff stated the movie before digging around for his phone. "Hello?"
Taking this moment, Elina pulled out her own phone. She began composing a message to Britta, explaining that she was going to leave and that things were getting too weird. "What's wrong with your voice?" Jeff asked, momentarily gathering Elina's attention. She glanced toward the man for a brief second before going back to her phone to press send.
Just as Britta's phone chimed, Jeff began to stand. "Uh, I'll be right back. But while I'm gone, you guys need to hash this stuff out. No stone unturned. Go."
Britta had read her message and quickly turned toward her sister. Once Jeff was gone, she slipped into his chair. "Ellie, you can't leave," she whispered. The younger Perry shook her head. "I can't do this. I wanted to make friends, not enemies."
"So everyone is a little rough around the edges," Britta replied. Elina scoffed. The group had returned to arguing, their voices growing in volume. "They're ticking time bombs," she argued. "And I'm not going to explode with them. So, are you coming with me or not?"
Elina stood from her seat and pushed the chair in. Her backpack was thrown over her shoulder. Britta stood next to her and grabbed her hands into her own. "You're the only sane person here," she whispered. "I really need this study group, and I definitely won't survive without you here."
"You've survived without me before," Elina argued. She gave Britta's hands a tight squeeze before pulling her own away. "Ellie!" Britta whined. The group's arguing slowly began to die down upon noticing the younger girl leaving. Annie was first to speak up. "Wait, where are you going?" she asked.
The girl huffed. She avoided Britta's pointed gaze. "I don't think this is working," she admitted. "We're supposed to be studying Spanish, but we're all fighting."
"You don't even need a Spanish tutor," Pierce stated. "You said that you know Spanish." She crossed her arms over her chest with a slight pout. Just because she knew some didn't mean she knew it all. With that, the arguments continued.
***
Mack was angry. That much was certain through his text messages. Britta was sitting with her head in her hands while Elina stood with her back against the wall.
She glanced behind her, watching for Jeff's inevitable return. She had at least a little faith that he'd return, anyway. Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed Jeff approaching. He seemed to be smiling, his conversation before having gone well.
She kicked off of her wall and slipped through the cracked door. Jeff smiled at her. "Hey," he greeted her, hands coming to rest on his hips. Her arms crossed over her chest. "They're about to explode," she told him. "Your bonding exercise has bombed."
"Yeah, they're pretty untutorable, huh?" he replied, faking a thoughtful expression. "You like Thai food? I love Thai food." Her brows lowered over her eyes. Her fingers tapped against one elbow. "You're just going to leave? You caused this."
His head tilted slightly. That shy girl from before was suddenly gone. She seemed irritated. "So, is that no to Thai food?" he asked, his tone teasing. She huffed and rolled her eyes at the man before her. "I'm not going to dinner with you."
"What about drinks?" She shook her head, uncrossing her arms and instead placing her hands on her hips. "No deal." He sighed, shoulders deflating slightly. "Is this a game to you?" she asked. "You put these people into a state of emotional distress for what? To get with my sister?"
His brows furrowed. "Well, at first, yes. But then you showed up. And you said that I could get your number next time."
"I am in a happy relationship!" she snapped, silencing him. She didn't look happy, but how could he chalk that up to her relationship? "What do you want me to do then?" he asked, changing the subject. She huffed. Glancing back over her shoulder, she noticed Britta banging her head against the table before her.
She looked back at Jeff with a small smile. The change surprised him. "Be a decent human being and fix this," she stated. He glanced toward the chaos, weighing his choice. There were several cons. In fact, his list was mostly cons, but one pro sat in front of him. His eyes met hers once more. "If I do, let me take you to dinner. Platonically."
"There's nothing platonic about dinner," she replied. He scoffed. "Apparently you've never had a guy friend." Her eyes narrowed. Disbelief flashed within her eyes. "You're a grade A douche," she exhaled. His shoulders lifted in a lazy shrug.
Without another word, she turned on her heels and went back into the room full of chaos. Britta's head picked up when Elina re-entered. The youngest Perry waved her over. "We're leaving," she told her, ignoring the pout that crossed her features. "He's not board certified. He's not even a tutor."
Britta looked confused. Elina was growing more and more agitated with the overlapping conversations. Her ears were bleeding, basically. Before she could talk her into getting up, Jeff came in after her. His hand pressed softly to the small of her back to usher her out of his way.
"Alright!" he exclaimed, slamming the big envelope in his hands onto the table. "I wanna say something. Sit down." Elina glared at the man. She almost argued, however the authority in his voice was enough to have her moving behind him and taking her seat. "Well, you don't have to yell," Annie mumbled.
Jeff glanced around the table at everyone's faces. Elina sat back, arms crossed over her chest. "What makes humans different from other animals?" he asked. Troy scoffed. "Feet," he deadpanned. Pierce shook his head in disagreement. "No, no. Come on, bears have feet."
"Bears have paws," Elina stated, holding up her hand. Jeff snorted. "We're the only species on earth that observes "Shark Week". Sharks don't even observe "Shark Week", but we do. For the same reason I can pick up this pencil, tell you its name is Steve, and go like this."
Jeff snapped the pencil between his hands. Elina's jaw dropped in surprise. "Oh," Abed gasped. Jeff held the two pieces in his hand, smiling at the group. "And part of you dies just a little bit on the inside. Because people can connect with anything."
He tossed the pieces toward Abed. They clattered into his books sitting before him. "We can sympathize with a pencil, we can forgive a shark, and we can give Ben Affleck an Academy Award for screenwriting."
"Big mistake," Pierce muttered. Jeff and Elina both nodded in agreement. "People can find the good in just about anything but themselves." He began to circle the table clockwise. "Look at me. It's clear to all of you that I am awesome."
Elina scoffed. Jeff's eyes flashed toward her for a split second. "But I could never admit that. That would make me an ass. But what I can do is see what makes Elina awesome. She's smart, and we need smart people. Annie is driven. And we need driven people or else the light goes out and the ice cream melts."
She couldn't deny the fact that his words kind of made her feel warm inside. "And Pierce, we need guys like Pierce. This guy has wisdom to offer." Pierce grinned, proudly. "The Dalai Lama and I—"
"We should listen to him," Jeff stated, interrupting the old man. Elina couldn't fight the smile from her face. "We wouldn't regret it. And Shirley. Shirley has earned our respect. Not as a wife, not as a mother, but as a woman. Don't test her on that, because that thing about the jukebox was too specific to be improvised."
Elina's hand pressed tight against her mouth to muffle the giggle that bubbled out of her throat. "And Troy. Who cares if Troy thinks he's all that? Maybe he is." Troy nodded his head in agreement. "And Abed. Abed's a shaman. You ask him to pass the salt, and he gives you a bowl of soup. Because you know what, soup is better. Abed is better."
Britta bit her tongue. She glanced toward her sister curiously. "You are all better than you think you are. You are just designed not to believe it when you hear it from yourself," Jeff explained.
"Soup?" Pierce asked, completely lost. Elina shook her head at the man. Though it was out of place and a little awkward, what Jeff was saying made a little bit of sense. "Look to the person to your left." Everyone turned to their left, staring at the back of their heads. Jeff shook his head upon noticing the problem. "Sorry. Look at the person sitting next to you."
Elina stared forward. The person next to her was Jeff. "I want you to extend to that person the same compassion you extend to sharks, pencils, and Ben Affleck." He turned toward Elina with a cheeky grin. "I want you to say to that person, "I forgive you"." Elina bit her tongue.
Everyone said their forgiveness, though Jeff had to scold Pierce. Jeff sat next to Elina. He leaned forward, one elbow sitting on the table. "Elina," he whispered, causing her to finally look in his eyes. "I forgive you."
Her eyes narrowed at him. "I forgive you," she echoed. His smile broadened. "You've just stopped being a study group," he announced. "You have become something unstoppable. I hereby pronounce you a community."
"Oh, that's nice," Shirley exclaimed. Abed agreed and began applauding Jeff. The rest soon followed, save for Britta and Elina. The two blondes shared a look. "This isn't like Breakfast Club anymore," Abed stated. "It's Stripes or Meatballs. Anything with Bill Murray."
"I agree with Abed that tonight has been very special," Jeff said. "And now, if you'll excuse me, I have a dinner engagement with Elina." Her brows shot upward in surprise. She turned toward Jeff, all eyes landing on them. "I never agreed to that," she reminded him. "Britta and I have to get home so I can watch the new Glee episode!"
Annie gasped. "That's tonight?" she asked. Jeff frowned. He had hoped his act of compassion would win her over. "And since you're not an actual Spanish tutor and a lying creep that set this all up to get with me and now my sister, why don't you exit and let us all get studying?" Britta directed her words toward Jeff.
"Fine," Jeff exhaled. "And I'm happy to report that one of the benefits of being a lying creep is having all the answers to tomorrow's test." He showed off the big package he had thrown down earlier to the group. Elina almost gasped. "And I'm happy to share them with anyone whose time I wasted more than they wasted mine."
He glanced toward Elina pointedly. "I told you that I had a boyfriend," she replied. Pierce, ignoring the small interaction between the two, spoke up. "Jeff, if you have all the answers, why the hell did you start this study group?"
"I don't have a study group. I made it up," he answered truthfully. Annie gasped in surprise. "What about the speech?" she asked. He shrugged. "That's what I do. I make things up. And I got paid a lot of money to do it. Before I came to this school-shaped toilet, I was a lawyer."
"That makes a lot of sense," Elina said. "It answers your persistence and pathological lying." He scoffed. "Oh, man, this ruins everything," Shirley spoke up.
"I thought you're like Bill Murry. But you're more like Michael Douglas," Abed explained. Elina nodded her head. She could see Jeff being a bit of a bully. "Yeah? Well, you have Asperger's."
Elina and Annie gasped in unison. Abed looked totally confused. "What does that mean?" he asked. Troy, however, was giggling to himself. "Ass burger," he repeated through his giggles. "It's a serious disorder," Shirley scolded the boy.
"And it's nothing to be ashamed of if anyone has it," Elina chimed in. "He's just being a jerk." Abed glanced toward the blonde. Pierce scoffed. "If it's so serious, why don't they call it meningitis?"
"Yeah," Troy agreed.
"Ass burger."
"A burger for your ass."
Pierce and Troy's combined giggles were enough to have Elina standing from her seat. "I am going home. If you guys decide to actually study tomorrow, shoot me a text." Britta frowned. Without another word, Elina exited the room. She was tired, and Mack was angry.
Her time at Greendale couldn't get any worse, could it?