Work Text:
From the minute Kunikida first woke up one day, he had the strange gut feeling that today would be far from normal. Or normal in the frustrating sense. One of the two. He didn't understand this feeling, but then again he rarely did until he inevitably found out that said feeling had turned out to be right. He figured that would be the case again. His gut feelings were rarely ever wrong, after all.
And they usually had something to do with Dazai. Sometimes it wasn't too serious, but other times, it was because he had been trying to die again.
Kunikida sincerely hoped it wouldn't be anything too serious. He really hoped this would turn out to be one of those times he was worried for nothing.
But unfortunately, Kunikida was worried due to the fact that Dazai still hadn't showed up to work. He knew this was normal, but at least half the time, he found Dazai in some sort of danger whenever he wasn't at work.
Kunikida got to work, hoping that Dazai would show up sooner rather than later.
A few hours passed by, and Dazai was nowhere to be found.
Kunikida was offically worried now. What if something had happened to Dazai? What if he was-
No, I can't think like that, Kunikida told himself. Trying to stay calm, he left the agency and began to look for Dazai. He didn't like not getting as much work done as he could, but he was worried about Dazai and that was the main thing on his mind.
He decided to check the bar first because he knew sometimes Dazai would skip work in favor of drinking. Maybe he did that again today.
Kunikida turned out to be right, for he found Dazai sitting at a table in the bar next to a few empty glasses plus one half-finished one.
Well, I wasn't completely worried for nothing but at least this isn't worse, Kunikida thought. He walked over to Dazai.
Dazai's eyes were closed, and Kunikida wondered if he was asleep. He gently shook Dazai's shoulder.
Dazai stirred a little.
"Dazai...?" Kunikida whispered.
Dazai slowly opened his eyes. "Who are you...? I've been looking for you my whole life and now you're here."
Oh, yeah. He can be a flirty drunk, Kunikida remembered. "You already found me, in case you don't recall."
"Don't worry, Kunikida. I do remember. You're an angel sent from heaven."
"Am I?"
"Yeeeessss~."
Kunikida smiled to himself a little.
Dazai gazed at Kunikida.
Kunikida began to pull Dazai up from his chair. "Alright, come on. You're done here." He picked Dazai up, sensing that he probably couldn't walk too well right now.
"No, I'm nooootttt..." Dazai whined.
"Yes, you are."
"No."
"Yes. You didn't show up at work and made me have to go looking for you, which is causing me to fall behind on work."
"You came looking for me? How very noble of you, Kunikida-kun."
"Yeah, yeah."
"Were you looking for me because you missed me~?"
"No! I did it because you need to stop skipping work."
"You absolute terrible liar. Of course you missed me~."
"No, I did it because you need to stop slacking all the time and start taking work more seriously."
"Hmmm...nah."
"Yes."
"Regardless of whether or not that's true-"
"It is true."
"-you did miss me. Admit it."
"Ok, fine. I missed you."
"Of course you did. I'm amazing."
"You are."
Dazai paused. "I am?"
Kunikida looked at Dazai and nodded.
Dazai fell silent and just leaned against Kunikida.
Kunikida gazed at Dazai.
Dazai gazed back at Kunikida. "Are you sure I'm amazing?"
"I wouldn't say it if I didn't think so," Kunikida pointed out. He had finally reached Dazai's house.
Dazai leaned over and unlocked the door.
Kunikida walked in, put Dazai on the couch, and then sat next to him.
"True, you always were a bad liar," Dazai commented.
"Hey!" Kunikida protested.
"Am I wrong, my dear Kunikida?"
"...No."
"I'm always right."
"Not really."
"When am I wrong?"
"Whenever you say you should die."
"Nah, actually that's when I'm the most right."
"No, it isn't."
"Why not?"
"Because I care about you and I'm not alone in having that feeling."
Dazai fell silent.
Kunikida watched Dazai.
Dazai looked up at Kunikida and he looked a bit sad.
Kunikida looked back at Dazai. "I mean it. We all care about you."
"I know you've told me why, but I still don't really get it..." Dazai admitted.
"Well for one thing, you did admittedly commit crimes in the past, at least now you're working to be better. I'd say that counts for something."
"I guess..."
"I know."
Dazai smiled a tiny bit.
Kunikida smiled back.
Dazai removed Kunikida's glasses.
"Dazai, why...?" Kunikida asked.
Dazai just grinned and put the glasses on his own face.
"That doesn't answer my question."
"I prefer to show rather than tell, but I suppose you can't relate. So I'll tell you. I just wanted to try your glasses on."
"You could've asked."
"I could've, but I didn't."
"I'm aware."
"How do I look, mi amor~?"
"I can't see."
"You're that blind?"
"Sort of."
Dazai patted Kunikida's head. "You poor, unfortunate soul."
"Eh, I'm used to it."
"Still unfortunate. Now, how do I look?"
"You look great."
Dazai blushed.
Kunikida tried not to laugh.
Dazai covered his face.
At this point, Kunikida was unable to resist laughing a little.
"Don't laugh!" Dazai whined.
"Sorry," Kunikida apologized, trying to calm down.
"Kunikida-kun is so mean to me."
"I mean, I could say the same about you."
"No, I'm not!"
"Right, because you don't constantly mess with me and cause me to waste pages in my notebook."
"That's not being mean, though! It's called being helpful."
"How exactly?"
"Because it just is."
"...Alright then."
"Did you know that getting drunk is a very good thing?"
"You're messing with me again, aren't you?"
"Nope!"
"I doubt it."
"You doubt me?! Me of all people?!"
"Yes."
"So mean."
"No."
Dazai pouted. "It's a true fact."
Kunikida raised his eyebrows. "Is that so?"
"Yes. Would I ever lie to you?"
"You've done it before. Namely every time you tell me one of your 'facts'."
"I'm a changed man!"
Kunikida began to write it down. "Getting...drunk...is..."
Dazai smiled a devilish grin. "I'm messing with you."
The room went eerily silent as Kunikida broke his pen and shot a glare at Dazai.
Dazai kept grinning.
"You lied AGAIN!" Kunikida yelled.
"Come on, Kunikida-kun. Does that shock you?" Dazai teased.
"No, it doesn't. And yet I end up falling for it every time anyway. I'm an idiot."
"No, you're not! I'm just very good at convincing."
"Don't I know it."
"Kunikida...are you mad at me?"
"Only a little."
"Whhhhhyyyyyyyyy?"
"Becuase you tricked me again."
"...I'm sorry."
"It's fine."
Dazai yawned and leaned on Kunikida's shoulder.
Kunikida smiled a little and patted Dazai's head.
Dazai returned the smile.
"Let's get you to bed," Kunikida suggested.
"But I'm not tired..." Dazai protested.
"You clearly are."
"...Ok, maybe I am."
"I knew it." Kunikida carried Dazai to his room.
Dazai crawled into bed.
"Goodnight, Dazai." Kunikida turned to leave.
"Wait!" Dazai grabbed Kunikida's hand.
Kunikida looked at Dazai.
"Can you stay? You know you want to~."
"I guess I can."
"Yay!"
Kunikida crawled into bed next to Dazai.
Dazai began to play with Kunikida's hair.
"Now what are you doing?" Kunikida asked.
"I'm playing with your hair, of course," Dazai replied.
"I see."
Dazai then began to braid it.
"Dazai, why?"
"Because you always have that same boring hairstyle."
"It's not boring, it's convienient!"
"Well still, you should change it up every now and then. And that's what I'm helping you do! You'll thank me later."
"I will?"
"Maybe." Dazai finished braiding Kunikida's hair.
Kunikida took a look at it. "Actually, that's not bad."
"Naturally."
"Thanks, Dazai."
"Aha! I knew it. You DID end up thanking me."
"Yeah, yeah." Kunikida smiled and gently kissed Dazai's forehead.
Dazai smiled back and fell asleep.
Kunikida watched Dazai for a bit, thinking over the events of the day. He often found himself in this situation. But honestly, he wouldn't have it any other way.