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It should have been a normal case. An open and shut murder. The girlfriend was cheating, the boyfriend found out, and murdered her. It was obvious…at least to Ranpo. Some were still trying to connect the dots in their own minds. Most gave up and just rolled with it.
What even Ranpo didn’t expect was getting caught in the crossfire of two gangs while investigating the scene.
There wasn’t even a chance to react before a blinding light and it felt like the whole world shook.
Next thing he knew he was shoved against a cop car by a gust of hot air.
There were people screaming around him, or so he thought. He could hear due to the ringing in his ears. The world was spinning, and he couldn’t move. He couldn’t move! He looked down expecting to see something laying on top of him but there was nothing. Everything felt broken.
Someone was shouting to call an ambulance.
His vision was failing him as he slumped over the world around going dark.
When he awoke he was laying in a bed in the infirmary. Yosano was sitting at his bedside in a metal folding chair scrolling mindlessly through her phone.
It took a moment to gain his bearings but when he did he sat straight up.
“Woah!” Yosano, shoved her phone back in her skirt pocket and turned in her chair to face him, “you got caught in an explosion. It’s a good thing one of your detective friends from the police called me, or you would be toast,” she paused for a second before asking, “How do you feel?”
He felt…he felt better than ever! He laughed, “I feel like I could solve the coldest of cases!”
“Oh!” Yosano looked a bit shocked, “well, that’s good. Normally when I use my ability people feel tired afterwards.”
“Well those people are crazy!” Ranpo yelled, jumping up out of the bed, “I wonder what would happen if I melted and mixed sour apple and caramel candies together? Ooo! I wonder if Poe has a new book he wants me to read! Bet I could solve it in two seconds flat! I think that candy shop down the road is having a sale. I should drag Kunikida out to get me some candy!”
It finally sunk in what had happened and Yosano’s eyes widened. Somehow her ability made Ranpo…hyper, and if there was anything worse than a hungry Ranpo it was a hyper Ranpo.
“Leave me so I can get dressed!” Ranpo announced, “I have business to take care of.”
Yosano just nodded, left, and closed the curtain. She should probably inform the president on Ranpo’s current state. This was going to be an interesting day…
“So because of your ability Ranpo’s currently…hyper?” the president raised an eyebrow.
Yosano nodded, “That’s right. It’s like if he mixed a Monster with coffee. However when I tried it, it just gave me heart palpitations.”
Fukuzawa narrowed his eyes at that last statement then sighed. He was glad Ranpo was back on his feet. That was too close of a call…but he could already hear Kunikida screaming at someone other than Dazai for once and Ranpo’s cackling throughout the office.
He knew he shouldn't interfere, but he couldn’t deny he was curious to see exactly what Ranpo had done.
As soon as he opened the door the smell of smoke hit him. He was also met with a very exasperated Kunikida who was just about to knock on the door.
“It’s Ranpo,” he said like he had just died or something, “Please help.”
“Where is that smoke smell coming from?” Fukuzawa asked.
“Ranpo he…” Kunikida swallowed hard, “he recruited Dazai to make candy.”
Fukuzawa’s eyes widened and he ran out of the door-frame towards the Agency’s kitchen.
It was quite a sight…
There was goop everywhere, several pans were on fire, chairs knocked over, kitchen utensils littering the countertops, and somehow a mixing bowl was stuck to the ceiling. All within…not even a minute.
Ranpo stopped mixing, whatever hellish combination of sweets was in that bowl, and stared at Fukuzawa.
Dazai tried to sneak away but Fukuzawa grabbed him by the collar of his shirt before he could escape and pulled him back into the room.
“You care to explain what’s going on?” he asked, not letting go of Dazai’s collar who was flailing much like a cat who didn’t want to be caught.
It was like the floodgates opened.
“Well,” Ranpo started, “First we decided to make our own candy then we were like, ‘you know what would be a great idea!? Inventing our own flavor of candy!’ but that ended up on the ceiling so then we decided to make our own candy completely from scratch but use some flavoring, that exploded. Then we were like, ‘what if we combined all the candy in my bottom right drawer to make the ultimate candy!?’ that is on fire, they say third time’s a charm but I’m beginning to think fourth time’s a charm! Also what if -”
“Ranpo!” Fukuzawa cut him off. If he wanted Ranpo could probably drop a pretty sick rap album right now with how fast he was talking, but something had to be done before the Agency burnt down, “I get that you feel well right now, but you need to find a different outlet, and I think that outlet will be cleaning this kitchen.”
Dazai tried to weasel his way out of his coat to escape Fukuzawa, but was instead thrown on his behind.
“That includes you Dazai,” he added, “frankly I’m disappointed you went along with this.”
Dazai just crossed his arms and pouted like a child. Which is exactly what Fukuzawa felt like he was dealing with.
“But first,” he continued, “both of you will sit on the couch for ten minutes. No electronics, no books, and no sweets. I want you to think about what you’ve done.” He crossed his arms.
Ranpo’s eyes widened. Finally silent for the first time that entire afternoon before he yelled, “Are you seriously putting the world’s greatest detective in time-out! I’m not a child! I’ve solved hundreds of cases!”
“What he said!” Dazai added.
Fukuzawa let out a long quite fatherly like sigh, “Yes, you are the world’s greatest detective, and you should have used those detective skills to see that this would end poorly,” yeah, that was a bit harsh but the kitchen was completely trashed and poor Kunikida had looked like he was about to suffer a mental breakdown. He made a mental note to talk to Kunikida later before continuing, “so yes, time-out. Both of you, on the couch for ten minutes, and no talking,” he added. Dazai looked like he physically deflated by the way he was now lying on the kitchen floor. Ranpo looked like he was in shock with his mouth slightly agape.
He ushered them out of the kitchen and to the couch. They each sat on opposite ends. Fukuzawa sighed again. While he trusted Ranpo not to get up, but he didn’t trust Dazai not to make a beeline for the door as soon as he took his eyes off him.
Atsushi walked by eyes wide but Fukuzawa glared at him and he scattered off, much like a frightened cat, before he could ask any questions. Fukuzawa couldn’t help but smile to himself, Atsushi’s cat-like qualities were amusing at times.
“When can I get up!?” Ranpo whined and Fukuzawa shot him the same glare he just gave Atsushi. Ranpo snapped his mouth shut and looked away clearly pouting.
Dazai just looked lost in his own head and frankly Fukuzawa didn’t want to know what went on in that head.
It was late, along after the Agency closed, before they finally finished cleaning the kitchen, and Fukuzawa made sure they made it look better than it was before.
Ranpo leaned against a broom and looked like he was about to fall asleep right then and there.
Dazai amazingly still had energy and was leaning against a counter humming to himself. How he still had energy Fukizawa had no idea, but he was sure ready to crash in bed for the night. But… there was still one more thing to do.
He looked at Dazai, “You may leave, Dazai, but I DO NOT want an incident like this happening again. Do you understand!”
“Yes sir!” Dazai saluted before practically running out of the door. However, he knew if the opportunity arose Dazai would do this all over again.
He sighed again for what had to be the thousandth time that day.
“Ranpo,” he walked over and put his hand on Ranpo’s shoulder. Ranpo looked up at him, tired tinting his usual energetic eyes, “As much as I hope you don’t get injured like that again, I know at some point Yosano will have to use her ability on you again. Next time, come to me and I’ll help you find something to do that won’t result in a huge mess, or we can make candy together so nothing gets set on fire.”
“You’re not mad at me?” Ranpo asked.
He shook his head, “No, I’m not mad.”
Ranpo yawned, “That’s good, because I’m going to fall asleep.”
Fukuzawa smiled, “Let's go home then.”
“Piggy-back ride?” Ranpo asked.
Fukuzawa sighed, but a happy sigh this time, “Sure.”