Chapter Text
The only things her father left her when he passed away were his own personal items and a small amount of savings. And Andy was quite happy with that- truth to be told, as hard as his sacrifice was on everyone, she didn’t need anything else to weigh her down with even more guilt.
Nothing substantial, however, could ever compare to the family he left behind for her. Station 19, A-shift, each member chosen by Pruit Herrera himself. To be a family, to support one another through good and bad times, and to be a shoulder to cry on. To be open about whatever setbacks they may have and to rise again, stronger than before. Together.
And for a long time, Andy's only motivation to move forward was the thought of her family. The simple concept that one day she will be with them again, that she would leave for work and be at home. It warmed her heart, made her dance merrily in the mornings, and had her strolling through mud, ashes, gore, and everything else. It made her happy- a straightforward notion of her family at Station 19.
She returned, and as soon as she did, she felt as though she had lost something. When her mother supposedly passed away, she had a strange tingling sensation that she couldn't even explain. It used to be like a ticking clock- as if something worse could happen at any moment. But Andy was sure of one thing now- the feeling was back. The sexual attempt against her blinded her for some time, she was too focused on her own trauma to put the pieces together. But after Jack left, things began to deteriorate.
It was Jack disappearing. And then Maya’s blackmail attempt, which Andy was first able to shut down, only for the truth to come out. Somehow. And then how everyone went against Maya, instead of confronting Ross or Sullivan. And then Beckett’s nonstop drills for no reason. And the constant fights they had, sometimes even on scenes. Work was no longer as enjoyable, as it should be.
“Earth to Andy,” she heard someone call her name, bringing her back to reality. It was Ben, giving her a faith smile from across the table.
“Yeah?” she murmured, quickly glancing at the others on the table. Travis, Vic, and Ruiz had mostly finished with their dinner, now engaged in some talk, for which Andy only heard something about Dixon and the campaign. Sullivan was texting whoever he had started contacting on this dating app while standing right next to her, buried in his phone. Again. Others were mostly speaking or were still eating their dinner. And then Maya’s place on the table was as empty as it has been in the past few months. There was not even a plate waiting for her there, it was as if she was not even on a shift.
“Just checking in,” Ben said, placing his utensils on his plate. “You haven’t touched much of your food.”
“Not really hungry,” Andy said quietly, looking down. “The guy we got earlier kind of has me still up.”
“Come on, since when is Andy Herrera grossed out by some leaking brains and…” Ben started, to which Andy only shocked her head.
“He looked so much like Jack. What if it was him and we had arrived on the scene, only to announce him dead and a possible donor?”
This was enough to shut Ben down. Andy gave her steak one more look, before deciding that she was fully down with trying to eat. Although the call earlier really had her stressed, the initial shock of thinking that the guy in the car crash was Jack himself, it wasn’t this that kept her appetite away.
She wasn't hungry, but she was certain that Maya was because she had once again skipped lunch earlier. And if the team was going to keep pretending that they were somehow offended by Maya’s actions, not allowing her the dignity to even eat with them and with Beckett actively ignoring the mess he created, Andy was going to step in the shoes of the leader.
“Okay, I’m…” Andy stood up suddenly, getting everyone's’ eyes on her. “What?”
“Nothing,” Vic said, as Travis and Ruiz raised their hands in defense. “If you just see Bishop, can you tell her that the dirty dishes need some washing?”
Vic's quip caused a few people to chuckle. Andy signed, taking her plate with her. She had attempted to shut them down earlier, but her own fabrication that Maya had used blackmail to force Ross to put her back to 19 had seriously undermined her position of authority. Instead, she walked off, checking the gym. Surprisingly, Maya wasn’t there, which for a second made Andy’s heart skip a beat. It wasn’t until she walked around the apparatus, did she saw the blond in the office, heads down at the paperwork Beckett had given her earlier.
“Hey,” Andy said, knocking on the door. “We missed you at dinner.”
“No, you didn’t,” Maya replied, not even looking at her.
“Well, I did, at least. But I am sure you are hungry?”
“Actually I am not,” Maya said, flipping the page, before signing and looking at Andy. “Need me for something?”
“I just wanted to check up on you. After…”
“The truth about the blackmail is out and everyone is shit to me?”
“No,” Andy signed. “After everyone had a scare that the guy from the previous call might be Jack.”
“Yeah, thankfully it wasn’t,” Maya said, looking back down. “I need to finish the Crisis 1 report.”
“Isn’t this Vic’s job?”
“Yes. But it has been my job. You know, just like it has been my job to clean the trucks and the floor and every single paperwork that Beckett is supposed to be dealing with,” Maya lashed back.
Andy inhaled deeply, shut the door, and then sat down next to the blonde. She stood there for a while, watching as Maya furiously filled out increasing amounts of paperwork before finally setting the pen down.
“I know it wasn’t you,” Maya said.
“What?” Andy asked, not really getting where the conversation was going.
“The truth about…about what I did. You had every opportunity to tell 19, and even then you lied for me. But I guess the truth always comes out, just like Carina says.”
“I really don’t have a clue how…”
“I don’t care how. It is just out,” Maya whispered. “I just wished that for once, people would see through it. I don’t want them to agree with me, it was a stupid impulse, but I just want… I don’t know what I want.”
“For people to see how unfair the situation is?” Andy raised her eyebrows. “I know…”
“But you don’t,” Maya said suddenly. “I… I didn’t even get to stand trial before getting demoted. I lost my chance to fight and had some hope that Ross would be a change, but she didn’t even give me a chance, but is clearly favoring Sullivan and promoting him because… well because they are sleeping together, which is hypocritical on its own different level.”
“We can’t be sure that they are…”
“I saw them, Andy,” Maya said. “I went for a drive a couple of days ago, when I hurt my ankle and couldn't run. Carina is actively ignoring me, so I went for a drive to clear my mind; ended up downtown and saw them out on a dinner. Watched them for a while, they were all holding hands and activating all in love and some other shit like this.”
“Wait? Really?” Andy asked, to which Maya only turned around annoyed.
“Do you really think I will be making this up right now?”
“So why haven’t you reported it? Why haven’t you said anything?”
“Because nobody would believe me?”
“Oh,” Andy suddenly remembered. “Yeah… yeah…”
“And now I have the entire team against me, for something which I was right, but nobody would take my world against Ross’. And I also have to deal with everyone’s work, because Beckett keeps giving me more and more work, even when I am in the toilet, while he is enjoying his sweet little bottle of booze in his bunk and…”
“Hold on,” Andy tried to proceed the last part. “Beckett is drinking again?”
“Why is it so surprising?” Maya suddenly stood up.
“Do you have evidence? Anything?” Andy asked, raising her hands.
“I went to take a couple of documents from his desk last shift when he was supposedly asleep. Saw all of his tiny bottles of whiskey in his bin. Can’t be sure if he is drinking on the job or keeps them for after the shift, but… Yeah, I can’t even report this, because nobody would believe me and the only other guy who knows about Beckett’s drinking problems is Sullivan.”
“Sullivan who hates your guts right now? Got it.”
“Yeah… him and everyone else on this team” Maya nodded her head. “And with all of this mess, I am stuck on triage and can’t even do the only thing that makes me fulfilled.”
Maya sat back down again, opening yet another folder. Andy just watched, as Maya angrily flipped the pages, before murmuring something angrily and shutting it down fast enough.
“And where is the fucking aid car report from today…” Maya almost yelled, throwing her hands in the air.
“Hey, hey, hey,” Andy tried calming her down, placing her hand on Maya’s shoulder. “Just take a break, okay? I know that everything is shit but, we will get it right. I promise you.”
“How?” Maya said so quietly, that Andy wasn’t even sure that she heard it.
“Well, everything with its time. I am sure that the team will calm down after a while, then we can all try to find sufficient evidence for Beckett. And in the meantime, I will have you personally helping me on scene. As a firefighter?”
It has been a while since Andy saw a smile on Maya’s face. Even if it was faint, it was truly visible, especially with how thin Maya had become in the past few months. It was then that Andy realized just what her friend was going through- she had lost a significant amount of weight, and always had dark circles underneath her eyes. Her uniform, usually ironed and spotless was messy and smelly. Andy had been watching her friend fall, but she had never even considered how horrible it was. A Crisis 1 in the making.
But the spark was there. It wasn’t lost, unlike Jack’s. Andy still had a chance to change this, to improve the situation. For the next hour, Andy mostly helped with file sorting, casually trying to get Maya to eat. But by the time the alarm went off, the plate was almost empty and they were almost done.
“Ladder, Engine, Aid Car 19, respond apartment fire,” the speaker sounded, as both of them slide down the pole. The others were mostly there, gearing up.
“So someone finally decided to show up,” Sullivan murmured, as Maya and Andy jumped into their turnouts.
“Yo, Bishop, did you polish the helmets?” Ruiz said, earning himself some laughs, as they all jumped into the engine.
Given that Maya and Beckett were traveling together and he had far too many opportunities to make fun of them, it was odd that the journey was largely silent. Andy nearly exhaled as the engine rounded the corner.
The building was 4 stories tall and the fire had already spread around on multiple floors. The moment the engine pulled up, all of them jumped out, as Beckett brought his tablet out.
“Alright, Herrera, Warren, Ruiz, and Hughes- primary search and rescue. Everyone else, stand by and prepare hoses. Bishop and Montgomery- on triage.”
“Bishop is with us,” Andy yelled out, earning herself a stern look from Beckett. “Warren twisted his ankle on the last call.”
“Alright Captain Herrera,” Beckett murmured. “Bishop, gear up. Warren- on triage. Everyone move!”
Vic did give her a strange look as they went on, but Andy chose to mostly ignore it and concentrate on the greater problem.
“Alright, Bishop and I take the top floors. Ruiz and Hughes, take the bottom once,” she instructed.
“That is 16 apartments to search through and a working fire. Let’s hope that Beckett has called for backup,” Ruiz said and then looked at Maya. “Ready probie?”
Thankfully for everyone, Maya didn’t answer back. The last thing they needed is to go into a rolling fire with a fight to finish later. As Ruiz and Hughes took the bottom floors, Maya and Andy climbed up, occasionally yelling for someone to call back. They both exchanged worried glances as they noticed how the ceiling was sucking up the fire before slamming open the door to the first apartment and starting a search. As the fire continued to spread, they were both practically crawling as they cleared out two apartments.
“We should hurry up,” Maya yelled, as they cleared another apartment. “Should be on the defense soon.”
“Here!” someone suddenly responded when they reached the third floor. It was Maya that got the action, crashing the door open. Throughout the entire smoke, Andy couldn’t even see who Maya got out, before suddenly turning around.
“I hear a cry!” She yelled, shoving the woman she was holding into Andy’s hands, just as Ruiz and Vic climbed up. Andy turned, holding onto the woman’s hand, as she got ready to evacuate her.
“Bottom floors are cleared,” Ruiz told her, as Andy passed them.
“Alright. Help Bishop, I am taking this one out!”
A nightmare at best, dragging someone through such a fire. At one point, the woman in Andy's hands, coughing and nearly limp, almost made them stop, but Andy persisted. Her body was moving as quickly as her mind. The other crew was where? This fire required at least one additional engine due to its size. Why hadn't they been told to leave yet?
Thankfully, Warren was waiting for them just outside. Andy was about to run back into the building as he relieved the weight from her arms, but Warren quickly stopped her by holding onto her oxygen tank strap.
“Andy, the roof…” he said and Andy finally looked up, her heart sinking into her stomach. Black smoke.
She abandoned the idea of going back in, instead ran as hard as she could toward Beckett, nearly colliding with him because she couldn't even think about what was going to happen.
“Call it!” she yelled, finally getting her bearings. “Call it now!”
“Herrera, don’t…” he said, almost sluggish and Andy froze up. Was he drunk? Wasn’t he seeing what she was seeing?
Before she could even hear what he was about to say, Andy brought her radio up.
“Ruiz, Hughes, and Bishop, get out of there, now! The fire has reached the roof! Repeat, the fire has reached the roof, evacuate immediately!” Andy yelled, turning towards Beckett. “Are you blind or stupid? Or both?”
“Coming down with another victim!” Ruiz answered as Travis, Sullivan and Andy hurried back to help them. The first thing Andy saw was their silhouette, then her blood suddenly froze when it was only Ruiz and Hughes that walked out, a burn victim between them.
“Bishop was right behind us,” Ruiz said, finally handing the victim to Travis and Sullivan. “There was a baby and she…”
A loud crash, supported by a handful of flying dust from the entrance, forced them to take a step back. Three seconds after the dust cleared, Andy noticed what else had rolled out of the building. A helmet. Maya's helmet.
“Structure collapse!” Andy screamed, as she quickly strapped back her oxygen tank. “Mayday! Firefighter down!”
She, Hughes, Ruiz, Sullivan, and two more firefighters from 21 immediately rushed in, all protocols forgotten within the second. Andy could swear that even with all the blood rushing in her ears and the screeching sound of burning wood, the constant beeping of Maya’s PASS device mostly took over.
“Bishop, call out!” She heard Hughes yell, but the moment she passed the corner, she could see Maya’s silhouette contrasting against the fire around. A supporting beam had fallen on top of her, trapping her underneath. Possible spinal injury. Andy quickly jumped over a small fire on the floor, before reaching her friend. The first thing she noticed was that Maya was still conscious and although this was usually a good sign, Andy immediately knew that something was wrong, when her friend didn't answer back.
“Help me pull this!” Ruiz yelled at the others, and as the beam was raised, Andy grabbed Maya as forcefully as he could, yanking her away from it. Then, before Andy could even react, Maya got up. She took this as a good sign, pushing her forward upon hearing a cry coming from the baby she was holding and with that, both of them ran out, followed immediately by the other.
Naturally, Andy couldn't help but notice how much Maya was swaying as they ran. And how Maya quickly fell to her knees as they all excited. Naturally, Travis was there once more, removing the child from Maya's grasp before turning to face Andy in horror. Just as Andy took a step forward, Maya’s back still facing her, her friend collapsed completely.
Andy and Vic were immediately at her side, turning her around.
“Shit,” Vic whispered when both of them saw all the blood on Maya’s mask and how her hood was mostly soaked up in it. Andy shook her shoulder, even though she knew Maya was for sure unconscious. If not even...
“Get it off!” Warren ordered, coming to help them. “Get her mask off!”
They worked quickly, Ruiz cutting her tank off, as Vic, Andy and Warren took off the mask. Just like earlier, Andy could feel herself almost disassociating from the disaster in front of her, allowing for her inner paramedic to take over completely. Maya needed her. She needed Maya to be okay. Shit, Carina. Who was going to tell Carina? How were they even going to tell her?
Maya had a massive bleeding wound on the left side of her head. Severe brain trauma the very least. No time for preparation; as Warren counted down, they all worked to get the woman onto a stretcher, Andy almost flinching, seeing Maya lifeless and hurried for the nearest aid car. As they loaded Maya up, Andy didn't even notice the second team that was already tackling the fire. Andy and Warren moved to the back as Vic took the wheel.
“How the hell did this happen?” Warren murmured, preparing the monitors, as Andy worked on removing Maya’s turnouts.
“Don’t know,” Andy said, before slamming her hand at the wall separating them from the driver. “Hughes, let’s go!”
They were on the road when the worse started. At first, Andy thought that Maya might be regaining consciousness, but it wasn’t until her friend started shaking did reality hit her like a truck.
“She is seizing,” Warren yelled. “Hold her!
Andy held tightly onto Maya’s hands, watching helplessly as Warren attempted to pull an oxygen mask over her face. It all felt so surreal, only an hour ago she and Maya were filling up paperwork. And now her friend was dying in her hands, as Andy fought back tears at the thought. Breath, Maya needs you, she needs you now. Breakdown later, first deliver her to the hospital.
But Andy couldn’t. She just couldn't... She had never before seen Maya like this, couldn't even imagine in her wildest dreams that something like this could happen to her Maya Bishop. To the very first person she considered her family at 19.
Maya's hair was red from all the blood, not even a sign of her famous blonde color. Just like when Beckett…
Beckett.
“He was drunk,” Andy whispered at the realization, but Warren immediately looked at her, just as Maya started calming from her seizure.
“What?” he asked, but before Andy could explain, the most horrifying sound, one that beat up the PASS device, got her attention. A constant beep that shook her to the core.
“She is in V-fib!”