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Chapter Text

#1 - He kissed me first

The party had worn on. The crew of Voyager not wanting to part with one another. Finally, Kathyrn and Chakotay found they were the last two. Standing near the doors she looked up at him, “Where are you off to tomorrow?” She asked.

“The space stay.” His response was quick, “Seven’s already there. She said she wanted to get to work and left early.”

Nodding Kathryn cast her gaze down, “I understand,” she said lightly.

Noting her response Chakotay knew how she felt. “Hey,” he said, bringing her gaze up, “I’ve got one last bottle of cider. I was hoping to share it with you once we got back,” pausing he shrugged, “We’re back, what do you say?”

Silent a moment Kathryn smiled, “That sounds nice,” she responded.

*************

Settling back on his couch, a large glass of cider in hand Kathryn felt at ease as he took a seat next to her. “What are your plans?” He asked, “Heading back to Indiana?”

“For a while,” she confirmed, “Starfleet’s asked me to teach some Captains in training at the academy, some things I learned while in the Delta Quadrant. How about you? What will you do on the space stay?”

“Ironically,” chuckled Chakotay, “I’ll be teaching strategy and command.”

Grinning now Kathryn raised her glass to him, “Who would have guessed?” She chuckled, “Both of us are becoming teachers.”

Raising his glass Chakotay tilted his head to her, “Yes, who would have guessed.” He agreed before they both drank deeply.

As time passed they drank and talked. Discussing their plans for the future and reminiscing about things they had been through. Soon the bottle had run dry leaving them both inebriated as the subject turned to what could have been between them.

“You know, I did hold out hope for a long time,” he confessed, “The moment I saw you I knew I needed to know you better.”

Smiling slyly she nodded, “I felt the same,” she admitted, “I was too stubborn though, so I hid behind my protocols and Starfleet rules.”

Stunned by her confession, Chakotay's mouth dropped open before he could collect himself, “You mean you… you felt the same?” He asked.

“And then some.” Moistening her lips she looked down, “Some nights, it was so hard to keep myself from going to you.”

“Why didn’t you?” He questioned, “I would have welcomed you with open arms.”

Looking up, her smile returned, “I’m sure you would have.” She chuckled.

“Just one question?”

“What’s that?”

“Do you still feel that way?”

Her heart beating loudly in her ears she again looked down. Biting her lower lip she steeled her nerves, “Maybe,” she finally said softly. When he didn’t respond she looked up to find his face inches from hers.

“Me too.” He breathed before closing the distance between them, pressing his lips firmly to hers.

The cider fueling her courage, Kathryn leaned in deepening the kiss. At the feel of his hands on her body she followed his lead, allowing herself to drag her fingers over his back and through his hair.

Lifting her as he stood Chakotay carried Kathryn into the bedroom where they proceeded to live out some of their wildest dreams.

When morning came and they awoke, lying in one another's embrace, the full extent of what they had done weighed on them. Pulling from their embrace they stood from the bed, collecting their discarded clothing. Dressing quickly they were silent.

Closing her dress jacket Kathryn shook her head, “This should never have happened.” She said.

Fully dressed Chakotay turned toward her, “I know.” He agreed, “But I’ll never forget.”

Thinking of Seven waiting for him on the space stay Kathryn shook her head. She knew their chance had slipped from their grasp the moment he’d begun a relationship with the ex-borg. “I will.” The words ripped at her as she spoke them. But for him to move on he had to think she had.

*************

Her class coming to an end Kathryn found herself dancing to the bathroom. Returning to the classroom she smiled when she found another teacher waiting for her, “Sorry, Mary,” she apologized, “Pit stop.”

“You’ve been heading for the bathroom a lot,” pointed out Mary.

“Yeah, well,” chuckled Kathyrn, “I never knew how much coffee it took to keep up with teaching.”

“You shouldn’t overdo the caffeine,” warned Mary, “Don’t want to move so fast your students can’t keep up with you.”

“Wouldn’t that be something?” Chuckled Kathryn, “A teacher students can’t keep up with.” Shifting some padds to her bag she shook her head, “What can I do for you, Mary?”

“I was wondering if you could give me a few pointers on that Borg avoidance strategy you were talking about,” responded Mary, “My students are flying through what I’ve got for them and I’d like to throw them a curve.”

“Of course. We have the same free period tomorrow, don’t we?” At Mary’s nod, she lifted her bag, “I’ll have it for you then. But right now I’ve got to get moving, family dinner.”

*************

Moving through the space stay Chakotay smiled and nodded to people as he passed. He’d found it easier to, in Seven’s words, ‘assimilate’ into his new home better than he had anticipated.

Pausing at a small food stall he smiled at the owner, “Hey, Lallo,” he greeted, “You think I can get some food to go?”

Smiling, Lallo nodded, “For our favorite new teacher, of course.” He said. “Dinner alone again?”

“Looks that way. Seven’s working late.” Confirmed Chakotay, “But it’s fine. I have a lot of work to grade and a curriculum to go over.”

“Busy, busy,” chuckled Lallo, “So, how’s my boy doing?”

“Top of the class,” responded Chakotay, “Did you doubt him? That boy is a wiz at strategy.”

“No,” sighed Lallo, “Guess he takes after me.” Lifting a container of food he slid it across the counter, “Enjoy.”

Lifting an arm Chakotay tapped at his wrist unit, “The usual?” He asked.

“Naw,” dismissed Lallo, “For my favorite frequent customer, it’s on the house.”

“Thanks.” Taking the food Chakotay moved off toward his office. There he made quick work of the grading before he dove into the curriculum for the next week. This kept him busy for hours.

His office door opening he looked up to find Seven, “It is late,” she stated.

Smiling Chakotay set his work aside, “I was only waiting for you to come and get me,” he said.

“You have class in the morning. That was an illogical course of action,” responded Seven.

Standing Chakotay nodded, “Are you done for the night?” He asked hopefully.

“I have four hours to regenerate before I must continue my work,” responded Seven, “You must sleep.”

Shoulders slumping as Seven turned, exiting his office Chakotay sighed. It looked like another night alone in a big bed. Unable to stop his mind it wandered to Kathryn and the night they had shared.

*************

Her alarm sounding, Kathryn rolled over in her bed, “Computer,” she called, “End alarm. Reset for twenty-four hours.” Rubbing the sleep from her eyes she sat up only to stop all movement when her stomach lurched.

When the contents of her stomach began to rise she lept from her bed and made a b-line for her bathroom.

Having appeased her stomach’s insistence she stood in front of her mirror leaning heavily against the sink as the water ran. The dark circles under her eyes made her groan before washing out her mouth and turning off the water. “You look like space refuse,” she said to her reflection. Turning she peeled off her night clothes as she headed for her shower.

Ready for her day, Kathryn found her stomach only a minor annoyance as she headed for the door. Though the sound of her link brought her back to her living room, “Janeway,” she answered as the screen blinked to life, the face that appeared making her smile, “B’Elanna,” she greeted, “How have you been?”

“Busy,” responded B’Elanna, “But listen, I just got off a call with Chakotay. He’s headed back to Earth. I guess things didn’t work out with him and Seven.”

“I’m sorry for that,” said Kathryn, “How’s he taking it?”

“Pretty good.” Shrugging, B'Elanna sighed, “Tom and I still think it would be nice to have a party. We’re planning it for tomorrow night when he gets in. We’re inviting everyone. Can you make it?”

“Barring any unforeseen happenstance,” responded Kathryn, “I’ll see you there.”

“Great!” Exclaimed B’Elanna, “Our place, seven o’clock.”

“Got it.” Closing the call Kathryn smiled. Chakotay was coming back. Only eight weeks with Seven and it was over. While she’d told B’Elanna she was sorry she couldn’t have felt differently.

Now that he was single again there was a possibility they could explore their feelings for each other in more depth.

While she had told Chakotay she would forget their night together, it couldn’t have been further from the truth. Every night she dreamed of their time and she never wanted to stop

Chapter Text

#2 - When can I kiss you again?

Arriving at Tom and B’Elanna’s at seven-thirty, Kathryn tugged at her dress shirt and slacks. She didn’t remember them being so snug before. With a shake of her head, she stopped fussing with her clothes as she reached the front door.

Pressing the chime she didn’t have to wait long for B’Elanna to answer, a whimpering Miral in her arms. “Look how big she’s gotten!” exclaimed Kathryn.

“And fussy,” sighed B’Elanna as she ushered Kathryn inside. Looking down at the infant as she closed the door she frowned, “Really?” She asked, “You cry for everyone else, but the moment she gets here you’re fine?”

Grinning, Kathryn shrugged, “I guess she knows it’s not good form to complain to the Captain,” she said, reaching out her hands, “May I?”

“With pleasure.” Shifting her daughter, B'Elanna placed her into Kathryn’s arms, “Everyone is out back. We want to surprise Chakotay. I’ll show you back, he should be here any minute.”

Holding Miral close Kathryn followed B’Elanna, allowing her to usher her out into the backyard. There she found many crewmen she hadn’t seen since the final welcome-home bash. In moments she was surrounded as people clamored to greet her.

Pushing through Tom shook his head, “Alright people,” he said, “You’ve got all night. Give the Captain some space.”

As the crowd dispersed Kathryn smiled at Tom, “Thanks for that,” she said, “That was a little much.”

Smiling Tom shrugged, “You had the same look Miral gets when she’s building up a scream,” he chuckled, “Speaking of. How’d you get her to stop fussing?”

Looking at the baby Kathryn shrugged, “I didn’t do a thing,” she responded. At Tom’s look, she laughed, “Really, the moment she saw me she couldn’t stop smiling.”

“That’s a first,” spoke Tom thoughtfully, “How would you feel about babysitting?”

Kathryn rolled her eyes, her response stopped by a call of ‘He’s coming.’ going out. Turning she watched as Chakotay stepped out of the house, a smile spreading across his face as several people shouted out, “Welcome Back!”.

Stepping into B’Elanna’s backyard he had thought he’d find Tom grilling, not what he found. The yard was packed, and at the front of them all, was Kathyrn.

Grinning Chakotay began forward, people stepping into his path with greetings slowing his pace he looked past them, his gaze lost in her sparkling eyes of blue. Coming to a stop in front of her he gave a little wave, “Hi,” he greeted.

Shifting Miral on her hip Kathryn nodded, “Hi,” she replied.

Taking her in he noted her more prominent curves, “How have you been?” He asked, pulling his gaze back to her face.

“Good,” she responded, “I’m sorry things didn’t work out between you and Seven.”

“Yeah,” shrugging Chakotay sighed, “It’s for the best.”

Feeling uncomfortable, Kathryn motioned behind herself, “You want to grab some food?” She asked.

Nodding Chakotay fell into step behind her as they crossed the yard, “Does anything look good?” He asked as they came to a large table laden with food.

Looking over the selections Kathryn marveled over the creativity of the dishes. Though as a smell hit her nose her stomach flipped. Thrusting Miral into Chakotay’s arms she made a mad dash for the house.

Stepping up to Chakotay, B'Elanna frowned, “What’s wrong with her?” She asked.

“I don’t know,” responded Chakotay, “I asked her what she thought looked good and… well.”

Pushing a plate into his free hand B’Elanna turned, “I’ll check on her. Go ahead and eat that.”

Standing in confusion Chakotay wasn’t sure what he should do. “Something wrong with the Captain?” Asked Tom as he came to a stop.

“I don’t know what’s going on.” Admitted Chakotay.

In the house B’Elanna stopped outside of the closed bathroom door, “Captain,” she called, “Is everything alright?”

“I’m fine.” Called back Kathryn. Turning off the sink water she opened the door to find B’Elanna looking worried. “Really,” she assured her, “I’ve got a bit of a stomach bug is all.”

Looking skeptical, B'Elanna crossed her arms, “Are you sure?” She asked.

“I am,” responded Kathryn, “Now let’s get back to that party.”

Nodding B’Elanna followed Kathryn back to the yard where they parted ways and she watched her Captain rejoin Chakotay.

Looking up as Kathryn neared, Chakotay took in her appearance, “You okay?” He asked.

“I’m fine.” Taking a seat next to him she looked at his plate, “Any of that any good?” She asked.

“Try some for yourself,” he offered, delightfully surprised when she leaned forward, taking the offering into her mouth, “Well?” He asked.

Swallowing Kathryn nodded, “Very good,” she said, “What was it?”

“All I know is, it’s orange and it tastes like cheese,” responded Chakotay, “You want to try this pink stuff?”

“Why not?” Opening her mouth Kathryn accepted the next offering.

Across the yard, B’Elanna and Tom watched as Chakotay fed Kathryn, “What do you think?” Asked B’Elanna.

“I think he’s over Seven,” responded Tom.

“I can see that,” dismissed B’Elanna, “I’m talking about them. Do they look closer than when we got back? It’s not possible, he was away and she was here.”

Sighing Tom shrugged, “Maybe they missed each other.”

Narrowing her eyes, B'Elanna shook her head, “I don’t think so.”

*************

A month after Chakotay’s return Kathryn had yet to shake the illness that seemed to have gripped her. Deciding it wasn’t worth the inconvenience any longer she boarded a shuttle after class.

While there were many capable doctors in the area she’d become accustomed to the Doctor, which meant a trip to his labs.

Telling his assistant who she was, she was led into his office without delay. There he looked up from his desk, “Captain!” He exclaimed, “It’s good to see you.”

“I haven’t been feeling well,” admitted Kathryn as she moved toward his desk, “So I’ve come to see my favorite Doctor.”

His smile dropped, and the Doctor picked up a tricorder as he stood, “How long have you been feeling ill?” He asked.

“Over a month,” admitted Kathryn.

Nodding the Doctor motioned to a chair, “Have a seat,” he instructed, opening the tricorder, “What are your symptoms?”

“Vomiting,” answered Kathryn, “Lack of energy and dizziness.”

“I see.” Studying his readings he looked thoughtful, “Have you noticed a change in your menstrual cycle?” He asked.

“I haven’t had one,” responded Kathryn earnestly, “You said when I stopped my contraceptives I may not.”

At her words, the Doctor nodded, “While that is true,” he said, “In your case, Captain, you’re three months pregnant.”

Kathryn felt her heart had stopped. Pregnant. She hadn’t taken any of this into account when she’d given in to her whims, and now. Blowing out a breath she pushed to her feet, “Thank you, Doctor,” she said, turning toward the door.

“Captain, wait.” As she turned back to him, the Doctor moved around his desk, “Let me prescribe you some prenatal vitamins. You need to be watching your health in your condition, with your age.”

Nodding Kathryn agreed with him. She knew there were risks in having children, the older one was, “What are my chances of carrying to term?” she asked.

“As long as you follow my instructions, I believe in six months you’ll be welcoming a new little one into your life.” Moving to her side he handed her a case. “I’d like to see you in one week for a more thorough examination.”

“Of course, Doctor.” Turning she left his office. She had some thinking to do and she needed to find a way to tell Chakotay about the whole situation.

Chapter Text

#3 - Until it’s said

Returning home from her doctor’s visit Kathryn dropped down onto her couch. Opening the medical case the Doctor had given her she found he had included a padd of information. Lifting the padd she set the case aside and began to read. Taking in the information she tossed the padd aside after reading the words, ‘no coffee consumption’.

Instead, she lifted the hypospray and loaded it with a vile of vitamins. Placing it to her neck she pressed the trigger before placing the hypo back into the case. Leaning back she ran a hand through her hair and sighed. Her mind running over everything she’d have to do, she dreaded telling Chakotay the most.

Before she could spiral into dread someone knocked on her door. Standing, she was confused by her visitor, “B’Elanna,” she greeted.

Her smile dropped, and B’Elanna shifted her daughter on her hip, “Don’t tell me you forgot you were going to watch Miral tonight,” she said.

Remembering the conversation they’d had a week before Kathryn moved aside, allowing B’Elanna entrance. “No, no!” She exclaimed, “Of course, I remembered.”

Entering B’Elanna rolled her eyes, “You forgot.” She said.

Smiling as she closed the door Kathryn shrugged, “Alright, I forgot,” she admitted, “But I will still watch her for you.”

Setting the diaper bag on the sofa B’Elanna turned, “Something’s on your mind,” she observed, “What is it?”

“Nothing,” dismissed Kathryn, stepping forward she took Miral into her arms, “How long am I to be blessed with this little one's company?” She asked.

Seeing Kathryn’s avoidance B’Elanna shrugged it off, “A few hours,” she responded, “Dinner with Tom’s dad. It's supposed to go until ten, but, if we can get away earlier, we will.”

“Don’t go to any trouble,” insisted Kathryn, “We’ll be fine. What time do you normally put her down?”

“Eight or so,” responded B’Elanna. Opening her mouth to say more she was cut short by a loud noise from outside. “I am going to shove that twenty-first-century horn up his…” Another shrill blare had her turning. “I’ll call you when we're on our way back,” she said.

“Go,” insisted Kathryn, “And have fun.”

With B’Elanna gone, Kathryn moved back to the couch with Miral, “Let’s see what mommy packed, shall we?” Opening the diaper bag she found everything she could need. “Look!” She exclaimed to the infant, “Toys!”

Setting Miral up in the corner of the couch with her toys, Kathryn turned her body in guard before picking up a padd she needed to work on. Like this, they were silent for some time, Kathryn making it halfway through her work before a knock sounded on her door. Looking at the chronometer she noted it was too early for B’Elanna to return.

Standing she turned, lifting Miral, “Who do you think that could be?” She questioned the infant, “Let’s go find out.”

Crossing the room she murmured to Miral as she opened the door. Her eyes fell on her visitor and Kathryn’s breath caught. “Are you going to invite me in?”

Regaining herself Kathryn nodded, stepping aside so he could enter, “Of course,” she said, “What brings you by tonight, Chakotay?”

“Tom said you were babysitting,” he responded, “I thought I’d stop by and see how it was going.”

“We’re good,” responded Kathryn, jiggling Miral on her hip, “She’s been content and I’ve gotten some papers graded.”

Smiling Chakotay nodded, “Have you eaten?” He asked.

Shrugging she looked at Miral, “I haven’t thought about food,” she admitted, “If you’d like me to make something though.”

“No need,” dismissed Chakotay, “I thought that might be the case.” Revealing a to-go bag from behind his back he shrugged, “Join me?”

Smiling, she shook her head as her nerves settled. He’d done something so like him, anticipating her needs and caring for her. It was like old times. “If you knew I hadn’t eaten, why’d you ask?” She questioned lightheartedly as she crossed back to the couch, settling Miral and herself back down.

“Hard habit,” answered Chakotay, “I was giving you the chance to fib.” Giving a laugh he rubbed the back of his neck, “How about, how many cups of coffee have you had today?”

“Another chance to fib?” She questioned. At his grin, she shook her head, “As hard as it is to believe,” she said, “I haven’t had a single cup.”

“Really?” He asked skeptically.

“Really.” Affirmed Kathryn.

Happy as he laid out the food he’d brought on the coffee table, Kathryn's stomach rumbled in hunger. Retrieving a bottle for Miral she settled back down, the infant in one arm while she ate herself with her free hand.

As she ate, the feel of Miral’s tiny body in the nook of her arm brought thoughts of her own child. Remembering she needed to inform Chakotay of her condition she took a breath to speak.

It was at that moment Miral decided she’d had enough food, flinging her bottle to the floor she began to fuss. Setting her fork on her plate Kathryn shifted the infant. Sitting her up she leaned her over her arm, quickly thumping her back until a loud burp erupted from the small form, “Well, that was a big one,” she chuckled.

Smiling Chakotay retrieved the bottle from the floor, “You’re good at that,” he observed.

Re-positioning Miral, Kathryn shrugged, “Instinct I guess,” she said, “Everyone knows a baby needs to be burped after eating.”

Setting the bottle on the coffee table Chakotay held out his hands, “How about I hold her while you finish eating?” He suggested.

“If you want,” Kathryn agreed. Shifting Miral in her arms she turned her, though as Chakotay’s hands touched her sides Miral cried out. Turning the infant clung to Kathryn’s shirt, “Or not.”

Frowning at the infant, Chakotay looked put out, “What’s all this?” He asked, “Last week when I visited you were all smiles and giggles.”

“She’s a woman,” said Kathryn, “We’re allowed to change our minds if we want.” Turning her attention to Miral she smiled, “It’s alright. You can stay right where you are.”

As Miral calmed in Kathryn’s arms Chakotay shook his head, “I don’t think I’ll ever understand little girls,” he said.

“Oh yeah?” Asked Kathryn, “What if you…” As her words were cut short by Miral, Kathryn frowned at the infant. It was like the little girl didn’t want her to tell Chakotay about her pregnancy. Giving a sigh she stood, glancing at the chronometer, “Ah,” she breathed, “Eight-thirty. Someone’s tired.”

Watching as Kathryn began to pace the room Chakotay sighed, “Are you finished eating?” He asked.

“I am,” responded Kathryn. “It’s alright Miral.” She attempted to ease, “Sleep isn’t the enemy.”

Recycling their plates Chakotay stowed the leftovers in the fridge. Turning back to the living room he quietly watched the scene before him. With Miral held against her chest, her tiny head resting on her shoulder, Kathryn paced, swaying her body as she moved.

It was a tender moment to behold. The mighty Kathryn Janeway was so soft and content in the simple task of putting a child to sleep. It looked to him that she’d been made for that very purpose.

Hating to disturb them, Chakotay blew out a breath as he stepped into the room. The slight noise he made had her turning her attention to him, “I’ll have her put down in a couple of minutes,” she said softly.

“It’s fine,” dismissed Chakotay, “I have my first class at Starfleet tomorrow. I should get home and make sure I have everything I need ready.”

“Alright,” she conceded, “I hope your class goes well. Good night Chakotay.”

Opening the door he smiled back at her, “Good night Kathryn,” he said.

As the door closed behind him she felt a weight press down on her. So much for telling him.

Chapter Text

#4 - An inescapable education

For two weeks Kathryn tried to get together with Chakotay so she could tell him about the child they’d created. Though it seemed the universe itself was against them. If it wasn’t something to do with work then it was Starfleet brass that got in their way.

Leaning back in her seat Kathryn stared blankly off over the empty rows of seats in front of her. Her hand resting on the gentle swell of her lower abdomen she thought of things to come. The classroom door opened and she sat up quickly, her hand moving from her stomach. With wide eyes, she looked at the person who’d entered.

“Sorry if I scared you,” apologized Mary, crossing the space, “Were you taking a nap?”

“Sleeping? No.” Responded Kathryn, “What can I do for you?”

“For starters, you can relax,” chuckled Mary, “That vein in your temple looks like it’s about to burst.”

Rubbing her temple Kathryn frowned, dropping her hand, “Just a little stressed is all,” she dismissed.

At this Mary smiled, “Is it that commander of yours that returned to Earth?” She asked, “Chakotay, was it?”

“Yes, his name is Chakotay,” responded Kathryn, “Now enough of this. What did you come in here for?”

“Stop digging in my personal business Mary! Message received,” said Mary with a smile, “I was wondering if you had those holos? The ones of the de-borg-... Whatever of that, Seven of nine.”

Confused for a moment, Kathryn finally nodded, “Yes, the holos,” she said. Reaching into her bag she pulled out a data chip, “See, I didn’t forget. These are copies, you can keep them.”

“You are a lifesaver!” Beamed Mary, taking the chip, “Now, how would you feel about going out tonight? Jane from cartography and Alice from history are both coming. You should join us.”

“I don’t know,” responded Kathryn.

“Come on, you’re stressed, you admitted it,” pressed Mary, “A few drinks would do wonders for your nerves.”

“I don’t drink,” countered Kathryn.

“Then a change of scenery will do you good,” said Mary, “More so than sitting home alone, stewing over your problem. Come on, it’s Friday!’ We’re free until Monday, cut loose a little.”

Knowing her co-worker had a point, Kathryn sighed, “Fine,” she relented, “But I’m only coming to keep you out of trouble.”

“Oh, You’ll have fun!” Exclaimed Mary, “Transport station outside the building, eight o’clock.”

*************

Arriving at the specified transport Kathryn was met with whistles of appreciation from the others. She hadn’t thought her choice of Billowy button-down baby blue shirt and elastic-waisted black pants were anything to admire, but their reactions said otherwise.

“Wow!” exclaimed Mary, “I get to stand next to you. Maybe I’ll look better.”

“Me too!” Jane agreed.

“So not fair!” Whined Alice.

Shaking her head Kathryn stopped walking, “Listening to you three,” she said, “I think I’ll head back home.”

“Oh no you don’t,” disagreed Mary. Reaching out she took Kathryn’s arm, “Too late anyway, our transports here.”

At the club, once they’d chosen a table Kathryn found her nerves were melting away. As the waitress made her rounds Mary, Jane and Alice ordered cocktails while Kathryn requested a cup of tea.

“Not a drinker?” Asked Jane with a frown.

“Not even occasionally?” Asked Alice.

“I used to be,” responded Kathryn.

“Why not now?” Pressed Jane.

Thinking for a moment Kathryn sighed, “Drinking makes me do things I’m better off not doing.”

As Jane opened her mouth to question Kathryn further Mary cut in, “Come on,” she said, “This isn’t an interrogation. We’re supposed to be having fun.”

“You’re right,” agreed Alice, “I’m sorry.”

When Jane made no move to speak Alice jabbed her in her side, “Alright, alright,” she relented, “I’m sorry for my digging. It’s a horrible habit of mine and I can’t promise I won’t do it again.”

Smiling Kathryn waved it off, “At least you’re honest,” she chuckled.

From there the night eased. They laughed and drank. Soon Kathryn was excusing herself to use the restroom. Pushing through the crowd she felt a twinge of pain in her lower abdomen. The pain grew as she pushed into the restroom. Staggering in, she leaned forward against the first sink. Breathing slowly she waited for the pain to end.

Back in the club Mary frowned toward the restroom, “She’s been in there for a while,” she said thoughtfully. Pushing to her feet she looked to the others, “I’m going to go and check on her.” Weaving easily through the crowd Mary pushed into the restroom to find Kathryn sitting on a bench, her arms wrapped around her stomach. “Hey,” she called, “Are you alright?”

Swallowing Kathryn looked up, “I’m not sure,” she responded.

Sitting next to her Mary frowned, “What do you mean?” She asked.

“I think I need to go home,” answered Kathryn. At Mary’s look, she held up a hand, “I’m not feeling well. I just need some rest.”

“Alright,” Mary agreed. Standing, she helped Kathryn to her feet, “I’ll make sure you get home safe.”

“No,” Kathryn disagreed, “I don’t want you to miss out on your fun.”

“No problem,” dismissed Mary, “I’d feel better if someone were to see you home.”

“It’s only…” colliding with someone Kathryn’s words were cut short.

Steadying her the person turned, “Sorry about… Captain?”

Looking up Kathryn was surprised, “Tom?” She asked.

Taking in her posture Tom frowned, “What’s wrong?” He asked.

“She’s sick,” answered Mary, “I want to take her home, but she won’t let me.”

“Always stubborn,” said Tom. Turning fully he took Kathryn’s arm, “How about you let me take you home?” He asked.

“I can’t,” dismissed Kathryn, “You’re with friends I’m sure.”

“No problem,” countered Tom, “I’m due home soon. If I’m late, B'Elanna will have my head. You’ve given me an even better reason to get out of here.”

“Perfect,” declared Mary, “Now, if she doesn’t get home, I’ll find you.”

At that, Tom laughed, “Don’t worry, anything happens to her and my wife will kill me.”

Leaving the club Tom led Kathryn toward his personal transport. As they moved the pain in her abdomen strengthened once more, releasing Tom she cradled her stomach, hissing out in pain as she leaned forward.

“Captain?” Questioned Tom. Receiving no response he shook his head, “I’m taking you to the hospital.”

“No!” Bit out Kathryn, forcing herself to straighten she looked at Tom, “Take me home. I’ll be fine.”

“You’re in pain,” countered Tom, “If I take you home B’Elanna will…”

“We won't tell her.” Pushing past him Kathryn blew out a breath, “Take me home.”

Doing as she instructed Tom drove Kathryn home. The moment she was out of the transport, he was on his link. Watching her closely until she was out of his view he made his call before heading home himself.

*************

Entering her apartment Kathryn shed her clothing, pulling on a loose-fitting night dress instead she lay on her couch, her body curled around her stomach. The sound of someone knocking at her door pulled a groan from her, “It’s open,” she called, her voice strained.

The sound of someone entering could be heard, the footsteps drawing closer, “Captain, what’s the matter?”

Looking up Kathryn found the Doctor looming over her and she couldn’t stop her tears, “I think I’m losing the baby,” she cried.

“I’ll need you to lay flat,” he instructed, pulling a tricorder from his case. Running it over her he concentrated intently on the readings.

“Well, Doctor?” She asked.

Looking up, the Doctor’s eyes locked on hers.

Chapter Text

#5 - One night to risk it all

“Just tell me, Doctor,” insisted Kathryn, “Please.”

“It’s alright,” eased the Doctor, “You are not losing your baby. The pain you’re feeling is your uterus expanding to accommodate your growing child. It’s to be expected at this point in a pregnancy.”

“But should it hurt this badly?” Asked Kathryn, “Like someone was cutting across my lower abdomen.”

Tucking his tricorder away the Doctor nodded, “All women experience differing degrees of pain at this point.” He explained, “For you to experience this much pain, and your age, I would suggest you take some time off, kick your feet up, and relax. Cut down on your stress.”

“Easier said than done,” sighed Kathryn.

Quite a moment the Doctor input something into a padd before handing it to her, “Those are doctor's orders for you to stay off your feet for two weeks,” he explained, “I’ve already sent a copy to Starfleet.”

Nodding Kathryn was silent. She had known she could have trouble with this pregnancy, but she’d never thought it would start so soon. At three and a half months it wasn’t real to her yet, and she was making compromises in her life already. After a moment she looked up to the Doctor, “When you say off my feet?” She asked.

“To and from the bathroom, your bed, and the replicator,” he clarified, “Other than that I want you on this couch with your feet up.”

“Okay,” Kathryn accepted, “I’ll do as you say.”

“That would be a first,” commented the Doctor, collecting his bag.

Smirking, Kathryn sighed, “There’s a first time for everything.”

*************

Three weeks later Kathryn was back to work and loving every minute of it. Being secluded had been tough and now she relished the social interactions of day-to-day life. Being just over four months pregnant she’d taken to wearing baggy clothing in an attempt to hide her quickly-growing stomach.

Wanting to share her news with those around her she held herself back. The need to tell Chakotay before anyone was strong for her. Though the man continued to evade alone time with her.

On this day, once class had finished Kathryn remained at her desk, grading papers. As her mind wandered to her situation; she couldn’t stop the tears that streaked down her cheeks.

The quick knock on her classroom door found her spinning her chair away as she fiercely wiped at her tears. “Captain?” Called a tentative voice.

Turning Kathryn found B’Elanna standing in her doorway, “Yes,” she said, “Come in, B’Elanna.”

With slow steps, B’Elanna moved to the desk, “Were you crying?” She asked.

Pulling in a shaky breath Kathryn gave a light smile, “You caught me,” she said softly.

Brow furrowing, B’Elanna shifted her stance, “Is there something wrong?” She questioned.

“Wrong? Now.” Responded Kathryn, “I’ve just been a bit overly emotional.”

Silent for a stretch, B’Elanna thought over Kathryn’s words. Finally speaking, what she said wasn’t expected, “Come to dinner with me.”

Caught off guard Kathryn blew out a breath, “Is that what you came here for?”

Shrugging, B'Elanna shook her head, “No,” she admitted, “But we can talk about that at dinner.”

Smiling Kathryn nodded, “Alright,” she relented, “Let me grab a few things.”

Twenty minutes later they were seated in a nice restaurant. Having already ordered, B'Elanna leaned forward, “Have you talked with Chakotay recently?” She asked.

“I haven’t,” responded Kathryn, “Not for lack of trying. Our schedules never seem to mesh.”

“Oh,” nodding B’Elanna sat back, “It’s just, at his welcome back party it seemed, well, like the two of you were closer than when we returned.”

“You could say that,” relented Kathryn cryptically.

At this B’Elanna smiled, “I knew it,” she said, “Something happened between our return and him leaving for the space stay.”

Tilting her head Kathryn watched the gears in B’Elanna’s head working. The woman had always been a quick read and at this moment Kathryn cursed that quality, “What are you getting at, B’Elanna?” She asked.

Realizing she was putting Kathryn on edge, B'Elanna shook her head, “Sorry,” she apologized, “But Chakotay’s talking about going to his home world, to meet his nephew,” she explained, “He’ll be gone for around five months.”

Sitting back Kathryn’s stomach dropped, “When’s he planning to leave?” She asked.

“The end of next week.” Answered B’Elanna.

One week. Blowing out a breath Kathryn’s mind raced as she ran a hand through her hair. She hadn’t been able to pin Chakotay down for the past five weeks and now her days were numbered.

Watching Kathryn, B’Elanna frowned, “What are you thinking about?” She asked.

Dropping her hand Kathryn looked up, “It’s just… I need to talk to him and now he’s leaving.”

“He’ll be back,” eased B’Elanna, “Can’t you wait until then to tell him?”

“Not comfortably.”

Talk halted as their food arrived. B'Elanna waited for the waitress to leave before continuing, “I have an idea,” she said, “I’m going to invite him over for dinner before he leaves. You’ll come too and when Tom and I put Miral down the two of you can talk.”

Nodding Kathryn sighed, “That sounds good,” she agreed.

*************

The week flew by and before Kathryn knew it, it was the night before Chakotay was set to leave. The one-night B’Elanna could get him to agree to. Pacing her living room Kathryn checked and re-checked her reflection in the mirror, making sure her stomach was well hidden as she thought of what she’d say to Chakotay.

She didn’t want to be blunt about it, but she was finding it hard to think of another way to break the news. Giving up on the internal struggle she headed for her door, making her way to the Paris home.

First, to arrive she was ushered inside by a happy B’Elanna, “He just linked,” she said, “He’ll be here in five minutes.”

Nodding Kathyrn followed B’Elanna into the kitchen where she sniffed the air, “Something smells good,” she commented.

“Thanks,” said Tom as he turned, “My mother's recipe, Lentil Soup with Quinoa and Mushrooms.”

“Well, I wasn’t hungry when I got here,” admitted Kathryn, “But now I’m starving.”

“Good,” chuckled B’Elanna, “Because I don’t do reheated food.”

Laughing, Kathryn patted B’Elanna’s shoulder, “I’ll try to do my part,” she spoke. As Tom set a pan on the counter her eyes widened, “But that looks like enough to feed an army.”

The door chime sounded and B’Elanna raised a hand, “That will be Chakotay,” she said, “Could you two get the food to the table while I let him in?”

Nodding Kathryn gave Tom a devious look, “I’ll take the bread and the baby,” she said.

“Why thank you,” said Tom sarcastically, “Leave me with the heavy dish.”

“You’re a big strong man,” replied Kathryn, matching his sarcasm, “I think you can handle it.”

Entering the dining room B’Elanna and Chakotay found Kathryn buckling Miral into her highchair and Tom dishing out the food. “Good to see you,” greeted Tom.

“You too.” Responded Chakotay before he turned to Kathryn, “I didn’t expect to see you here.”

Turning Kathryn smiled at him, “It’s good to see you too,” she greeted.

“You know what I mean,” said Chakotay with a smile, “B’Elanna didn’t say anyone else would be here.”

“The Captain had told me how the two of you couldn’t find time to see one another,” spoke up B’Elanna, “So I figured since you were going to be here why shouldn’t I invite her too.”

“Great idea,” praised Chakotay as he pulled a chair out, “Do me the honor and sit next to me Kathryn?” He asked.

“I’d love to,” replied Kathryn.

The meal proceeded comfortably as they all talked and enjoyed the food. Once they were finished and the dishes were cleared Tom and B’Elanna excused themselves to put Miral down, leaving Kathryn and Chakotay alone in the living room.

“So,” began Kathryn, “Are you looking forward to seeing your sister?”

“Yeah,” responded Chakotay, “She’s been asking me to visit since our return. Now, with summer coming I have some extra time, so I figured I’d go.”

Nodding Kathryn rubbed her hands together, “Listen, Chakotay, there’s something…” Stopping at the sound of his link she sighed.

“I’m sorry,” he apologized, “I’ll just be a moment.” Turning away he answered his link. Turning back to her in no time he slipped his link into his pocket, “My shuttle is leaving early,” he explained shortly, “I’ll see you when I get back, Kathryn. Tell B’Elanna and Tom I said bye, will you?”

As the door closed behind him Kathryn’s shoulders slumped, “I’m pregnant, Chakotay,” she said softly.

Chapter Text

Entering her living room B’Elanna stopped in her tracks at Kathryn’s softly spoken words. Frozen in place she was startled when Tom bumped into her back. “What are you doing?” He questioned.

Turning B’Elanna tapped her husband’s chest, “Don’t you have shuttle schematics you need to finish before tomorrow?” She asked.

Giving her a funny look Tom nodded, “Yes, I do.” He responded.

“You should get on that,” insisted B’Elanna, pushing him back, “So you can get to bed at a decent hour.”

Glancing into the living room Tom noted only Kathryn stood there, “I get it,” he relented, “Girl talk time. I’ll make myself scarce.”

As he headed off for their garage B’Elanna turned into the living room, “Did I hear you right?” She asked.

Startled by B’Elanna’s words Kathryn turned, wide-eyed, “Hear what?” she asked.

“You’re pregnant?” Clarified B’Elanna, “The baby’s Chakotay’s?”

Swallowing Kathryn backed up, slumping down on the couch. Looking up at B’Elanna she slowly nodded, “But you can’t tell anyone,” she insisted.

“I get all that,” said B’Elanna, sitting down next to Kathryn, “But, how? When”

“The normal way,” responded Kathryn, “The night of the last welcome home party. Everyone had left. Chakotay and I went back to his temporary apartment and shared his last bottle of cider. One thing led to another… and he had to go in the morning.”

“But if you’d just, you know, how could he leave to be with Seven?” Questioned B’Elanna.

“Before I left his room that morning,” breathed Kathryn, “I knew he’d never be happy with Seven after what we’d done. So when he said he’d never forget… I told him I would and left.”

Frowning, B'Elanna looked baffled, “But didn’t that hurt you?” She asked, “Or have I been wrong about your feelings for him?”

“You’re not wrong,” said Kathryn softly, “But, I did it for him.”

Taking in her words B’Elanna’s frown deepened, “Wait,” she said, “This happened the night of the last party?” At Kathryn’s nod B’Elanna’s stomach dropped, “That means you are around four months… leaving about five months. The same amount of time Chakotay is planning to be away.”

“Now you see why I needed to speak with him before he left.” Said Kathryn, “But he got a call saying his shuttle was leaving early and he was gone before I could get a word out.”

“I’ll just stop him.” Insisted B’Elanna.

“You can’t,” sighed Kathryn, “He hasn’t seen his sister in years. I can’t take that opportunity from him.”

“So you’re just going to let him go?” Asked B’Elanna, “But, what if, when he comes back you’ve already had the baby?”

“All I can do is pray he comes back sooner,” breathed Kathryn.

“But…”

“No,” insisted Kathryn, “I’m not feeling very well. I think I’ll go home and get some rest. Thank you for dinner.”

Watching as Kathryn left, B’Elanna sighed. She couldn’t help but feel her captain was making a big mistake. But she had no right to interfere.

*************

The weeks seemed to pass by at a crawl for Kathryn as she went about her business. Summer came and went while her stomach grew and grew. At thirty-seven weeks she was finding it difficult to get around, her back continuously aching.

This didn’t stop her from teaching her class, even if it was from her office via a link. Her students didn’t seem to mind and the staff who did know her secret were dedicated to helping her in any way they could.

Collecting her things for the day she headed out, intent to go home and kick her swollen feet up while she graded papers, she was stopped when B’Elanna jogged up to her, “I’m glad I caught you,” she said breathly.

“What’s so important that you ran to catch me?” Asked Kathryn.

“I’ve been trying to get a hold of you,” said B’Elanna, “I heard from Chakotay, he’ll be back in three weeks.”

Having expected this Kathryn nodded, “That will likely be too late,” she said.

“I know,” agreed B’Elanna, “That’s why I need you to contact him. Bite the bullet, tell him everything and I’m sure he’ll be back here as fast as he can.”

Silent a moment Kathryn shook her head before she turned, moving off, “I don’t want to tell him over a link,” she argued.

“Then don’t.” Insisted B’Elanna. “Let me bring him back. He deserves to know before he becomes a father.”

Spinning on her heel, Kathryn’s eyes gave a spark, “You don’t think that I don’t know that?” She asked, her voice low, “I have tried and tried to tell him, but he’s always had something else he needed to be doing. You worry about yourself and I’ll take care of what I need to.”

Spinning back Kathryn stalked away from B’Elanna, leaving her aww-struck. Her blood was boiling and she was steaming mad. She knew she’d blown up at B’Elanna, but she couldn’t turn around and make it better.

Continuing to the transport station she waited for the one she needed. Standing with several others she became aware of a pain in her lower back. An annoyance at first, it began to spider web out across her abdomen. Wincing she concentrated on her breathing, pulling deep breaths in through her nose, and blowing them out from her mouth.

As the pain subsided she straightened. Glad it was over she tried to regain her composure. Though moments later the pain returned, pulling a startled cry from her throat, its intensity had her wrapping her arms around her stomach as she leaned forward.

In no time she was swarmed. The transport attendant called for medical, as people began to snap holos. A call went up that it was Voyager’s, Captain Janeway.

*************

Sitting in his sister's kitchen with a cup of tea Chakotay watched as the news played, “Anything new?” She asked, entering the room.

“Not really,” responded Chakotay, “Same things they reported last week it looks like.” Standing he crossed the room, “Are you hungry? I can make you something.”

“Oh really?” she asked, “A mushroom omelet would be great. No one makes them like my big brother.”

“Will do,” chuckled Chakotay.

Smiling, his sister looked up to the screen, her lips pulling down into a frown, “Hey,” she said, “Wasn’t your Captain’s name Janeway?”

Spinning Chakotay looked at the screen, “Computer,” he called out, “Increase volume.”

“...While the Voyager Captain had managed to avoid press for several months, she was filmed by holo cameras as she left Starfleet Academy,” the reporter said before several images of Kathryn were shown. “It was quite apparent the Captain was extremely pregnant and appeared to be in labor. She was swiftly removed from the scene and taken to an unknown medical facility. We’ll have updates as they come in.”

Chakotay felt as though a weight had been placed on his chest. Kathryn, pregnant? Doing some math in his head he turned to his sister, “When’s the next transport to Earth?” He asked.

“Not for another week.” She responded. Seeing the distress on her brother's face she stood, “I’ll see if anyone is headed that way sooner,” she assured him. “Chakotay, what meaning does this have to you?”

Swallowing Chakotay took a shallow breath, “I believe the child she’s carrying is mine.”

*************

That night the news ran the story of her experience at the transport station, complete with holo images taken by citizens. She’d laid back on her couch breathing easy when the Doctor assured her what she’d experienced had only been false labor.

The next day he’d examined her again, telling her she’d be lucky to remain pregnant to the thirty-nine-week mark. Though, proving him wrong Kathryn was still swollen with child at forty weeks.

While pleased Kathryn was uncomfortable. No matter the position standing, sitting or lying she could find no comfort.

“Captain, please,” said the Doctor, “I must insist you sit.”

Glaring at him Kathryn pressed a hand into the side of her stomach, “I heard you, Doctor,” she hissed, “But what you’re telling me is to be calm and relaxed at this point.”

“It’s better for you,” insisted the Doctor.

“Have you ever given birth?” Questioned Kathryn as she made another pass of the room. At the shake of his head she gave a strained laugh, “Then don’t tell me what’s best, or so help me I’ll…”

“Captain,” cut in B’Elanna as she entered the room.

“Have you contacted him?” Asked Kathryn.

Shaking her head, B'Elanna frowned, “His sister said he jumped a cargo ship three weeks ago. He could be anywhere between there and here.”

Blowing out a breath Kathryn slapped her hand into a wall, leaning into it, “I refuse to have this baby until he’s here!” She snapped.

Chapter Text

#7 - You don’t make things easy

Landing on Earth Chakotay rushed to the nearest public link he could find, “Contact Tom Paris,” he called out.

Tom’s face appeared and on the screen, he looked to be giving thanks, “Please tell me you’re on Earth.” He said.

“I am,” responded Chakotay, “Where’s Kathryn?”

“Not important,” said Tom, “Where are you?”

His eyes narrowing Chakotay looked dangerous, “Where Kathryn is, is important to me.” He bit out.

“I get that,” said Tom, “The sooner you tell me where you are, the sooner I can get you to her. Now, where are you?”

“Main transport hub, San Francisco,” relented Chakotay.

“Great!” Exclaimed Tom, “Get to the nearest transporter pad, and give them these coordinates. I’ll see you in a couple of minutes.”

The second Chakotay materialized on the transported pad in front of him, Tom reached out, pulling him into motion, “Let’s go,” he said.

“What’s going on?” Questioned Chakotay, “Is there something wrong with the baby?”

“You saw the news, huh?” Asked Tom.

“One hell of a way to find out you're going to be a father,” quipped Chakotay.

“Look, I’ll let the Captain explain everything to you,” said Tom.

“Can you at least tell me what the rush is about?” Asked Chakotay.

Sighing as they moved Tom rolled his eyes, “The Captain is insisting she won't give birth until you’re with her and she’s in labor. Has been for the last fifteen hours.”

Needing no more Chakotay rushed past Tom. Barging into Kathryn’s apartment he spotted her across the room hunched over on the floor, the Doctor at her side. “Kathryn!” He called out hurrying to her side.

“Chakotay!” Kathryn gasped out, “I didn’t think you’d make it.”

Dropping to her side Chakotay reached out, rubbing her back, “Nothing could keep me away,” he eased her, “But why didn’t you tell me?”

“I tried,” moaned Kathryn, “When you showed up and I was watching Miral… Then I couldn’t get you alone…” Her voice cracking she gave a deep pain filled moan, before sucking in a breath, “The day you left… I said I had something to tell you… But your shuttle was leaving, you rushed off… I didn’t want to tell you over a link.”

“Oh, Kathryn,” blew out Chakotay, “I should have made time for you. This is all my fault.”

“No,” breathed Kathryn, “I could have been blunt… I just…” Cutting off she gave another pain-filled groan.

“You two can discuss who’s to blame later,” spoke up the Doctor, “Right now it’s time to have a baby.”

Nodding Kathryn accepted Chakotay’s help in standing, walking wobbly to the covered couch, “I think I want that pain medication now, Doctor,” she said.

Shaking his head, the Doctor frowned, “I’m afraid the time for medication has come and gone, Captain,” he said, “You’ll have to do this as your ancestors did.”

Choking on a sob she turned, placing her hands on Chakotay’s shoulders when he coaxed her to do so, “I don’t know if I can do this.” She cried out.

“You can.” Insisted Chakotay, “You are the strongest woman I have ever known. If you can take on the Borg Queen, then delivering this baby should be a breeze.”

Closing her eyes Kathryn hung her head as the Doctor fussed with the couch behind her. “However you think you’ll be most comfortable,” he called.

“Heavily drugged,” moaned Kathryn.

“He means standing, sitting, or laying,” clarified Chakotay.

“I know what he means!” Kathryn gasped out, “I think I’ll play it by ear.”

As the words left her mouth another contraction ripped through her body. As she began to lower herself down, Chakotay followed her movements, “I’m right here,” he eased, “I’ll be right here from this moment on.”

“When you feel the need,” spoke up the Doctor, “Push.”

“Now?” Questioned Kathryn, her voice edging on panic.

“Go for it,” instructed the Doctor as he attempted to kneel below her.

Bearing down Kathryn put her all into her push, her breath whooshing out as she let up, “Oh, god!” She moaned.

“You can do it, Kathryn,” encouraged Chakotay.

Looking up Kathryn’s eyes fell on his only a moment before a cry was torn from her throat and she was again pushing.

“I can see the head,” called out the Doctor.

Continuing Kathryn grunted and groaned through clenched teeth. Brushing sweat-soaked hair from her forehead, Chakotay looked at her in wonder, “You’re doing great!” He praised.

“Alright,” called out the Doctor, “The head’s out. Next are the shoulders, whenever you’re ready.”

Gulping in air Kathryn pressed her chin to her chest as she gave it her all once more. Though this time, instead of grunts and groans she screamed out, “Oh, God!” She cried.

“You’ve got this!” Called out B’Elanna a few feet away, “Just a few more, and your baby will be here.”

At B’Elanna’s words, Kathryn pulled in another breath. Continuing her cries of pain didn’t diminish and soon a baby’s cries rang out with her. Slumping forward into Chakotay, she gasped for breath, “You did great!” He praised.

Laying Kathryn back onto the couch the Doctor laid the tiny infant into her arms. “Congratulations,” he said, “You have a daughter.”

Smiling weakly Kathryn looked down at the tiny face, “Hello,” she greeted, “I’ve waited a long time to meet you.”

Grinning from ear to ear Chakotay knelt next to the couch, “Spirits Kathryn,” he exclaimed, “Look at what you did.”

“What we did,” corrected Kathryn.

“Oh, no,” said Chakotay, “I may have helped to create her, but you did all the work. I am amazed by you.”

Finishing cleaning the Doctor stood, “I’ll need a name to put on the birth certificate,” he said.

Moistening her lips Kathryn looked at Chakotay, “What do you think?” She asked.

“Whatever you choose will be perfect,” responded Chakotay.

Looking back to her daughter Kathryn smiled, “Lily Marie,” she said.

“Did you get that, Doctor?” Asked Chakotay.

Smiling, the Doctor nodded, "I've got it,” he said, “Now I need the parent’s signatures.”

Taking the padd Chakotay made his mark before holding it out so Kathryn could make hers. Handing it back he looked at Kathryn as her eyes dropped closed. They needed to talk more in-depth, but he knew she was exhausted.

Standing Chakotay looked to everyone, “Thank you all for all of your help,” he said, “But, I think Kathryn needs to rest.”

Nodding, the Doctor set a case on the coffee table, “Pain medication, in case she finds herself in need later.” He said before he turned away.

Pausing by the door with Tom, B’Elanna turned, “If you need anything give me a call. If not, let us know when we can visit later.”

Nodding Chakotay smiled at her, “Thanks.” He said. The door closing behind them he looked back to Kathryn, “Alright,” he said lightly, “Let’s get you to bed.”

Eyes fluttering open, Kathryn sighed, “I don’t think I’ll make it there.”

“Yes you will,” he said softly, slipping his hands under her body, “Hold tight to her.” He said a moment before he lifted Kathryn into his arms. Moving up the stairs he glanced at her, “Which one’s yours?” He asked.

“Second right,” she yawned.

Entering the room she’d specified he crossed the space, laying her on her bed. “Do you have a crib or…”

“Bassinet,” said Kathryn pointing across the room.

Turning he noticed the white bassinet between her dresser and lounge chair. Pulling it out he shifted it to the end of the bed. “I’ll lay her down,” he said, “You both need the rest.”

Without a word Kathryn allowed Chakotay to lift Lily from her arms. As he moved to the end of the bed she dropped off to sleep.

Watching Kathryn a moment Chakotay turned, laying the tiny infant into the bassinet. He then moved to the lounge chair, he still needed to talk with Kathryn and now with Lily, he wasn’t planning to go anywhere.

Chapter Text

#8 - Smile at the end

Stretching his body Chakotay rubbed his eyes before opening them. Blinking he frowned at the sight before him. Kathryn sat on her bed, her back to the headboard with Lily in her arms. She had changed from her nightgown into a pair of sleep pants with a matching button-up top.

With half the buttons undone, she silently sat, feeding Lily. Looking at the chronometer he noted it had been five hours since he’d laid back in the lounge chair. “Why didn’t you wake me?” He asked, the sound of his voice startling her.

Composing herself she smiled tiredly, “You looked content,” she responded, “It’s not like you could feed her.”

“I could have brought her to you,” countered Chakotay, “There was no need for you to get up.”

“But there was,” objected Kathryn, “I needed a shower and a change of clothes.” At his frown she sighed, “Really, Chakotay,” she chided, “What would you do? Bathe me in my bed?”

“If I had the chance,” he affirmed.

This made her laugh, “Oh, how I have missed you,” she said, “Always trying to make things easier for me.”

Standing Chakotay crossed to the bed, “Especially now,” he said, “After I left you alone and pregnant… It’s the very least I can do.”

“Being here now is more than enough,” she sighed.

“I’m here forever.”

“Just the way I want it.” As Lily finished eating Kathryn shifted the infant in her arms, “If you want to be helpful, she could use a burp and a diaper change.”

“With pleasure.” Scooping Lily into his arms he placed her on his shoulder, promptly patting her back.

“You should use a burp rag,” Kathryn advised.

“Why?” He questioned, though as the word left his mouth Lily gave a great burp and his shoulder was covered in spit-up.

“That’s why,” chuckled Kathryn.

Shifting Lily from the mess Chakotay sighed, “You live and you learn.” Looking at the baby he shook his head, “Daddy’s mistake. Now we both need cleaning.”

Her chuckle turned to a laugh Kathryn reached out, “Give her to me and clean yourself first,” she said.

“Oh, no.” dismissed Chakotay, “Ladies first.”

Moving to the end of the bed he laid Lily down. Wiping the mess from her chin and neck he carefully removed her nightdress before making quick work of her diaper. Finished he pulled a clean nightdress onto her before he straightened, pulling his shirt from his body.

Bare-chested he lifted a fussy Lily, cradling her against his chest he lost himself in the feel of holding his hours-old child.

Sitting back in her bed a wisp of a smile played across Kathryn’s lips as she took in the scene in front of her. She had been afraid she wouldn’t get to see this and now her heart gave a great flutter.

Raising his head Chakotay caught Kathryn’s gaze and he smiled, “Do you want her back?” He asked. At the shake of her head, his smile turned to a grin, “Good. I’m not sure I can give her up.”

“I hope you never do,” sighed Kathryn.

Moving around the bed Chakotay sat on the other side, “How did you do it?” He questioned.

“Do it?” Asked Kathryn.

“Deal with the pregnancy. I mean, I was here, in San Francisco and I couldn’t be bothered to make time for you.” Shaking his head, Chakotay looked at her, “How did you manage it all on your own?”

Thinking a moment Kathryn took a breath, “I’ll admit, when I first found out, it was a shock. But, I wanted her so badly. It wasn’t only you who couldn’t make time. I was consumed with making my life work after our return.” Pausing she tilted her head toward him, “I guess I just hoped it would all work out. That we’d finally be able to get together on it all, and it did work out. You made it for her birth, you’re here now… I couldn’t ask for more.”

“I’m glad I was able to make it,” said Chakotay, “And I couldn’t have cut it closer. I only hope, now that I am here I can stay… forever.”

“Are you planning on going somewhere?” Asked Kathryn.

“No. I guess what I’m saying is,” shifting himself Chakotay reached out, taking one of her hands, “Will you marry me, Kathryn?”

Her breath catching in her chest Kathryn shook her head, “Not yet,” she responded softly. At his look, she squeezed his hand, “We’ve got to find one another again,” she explained, “Our lives have changed in such big ways, I think we may have changed. It’s not a bad thing. I also wouldn’t object if you wanted to move in, maybe.”

“I have to say, my proposal being rejected does sting,” said Chakotay, “But, I think… I would like to move in. I want every second I can get with you and Lily and if I’m here I won't miss a thing. I only hope you have a spare room.”

“Room?” Asked Kathryn, “More like half a bed that's been empty far too long.”

FIN