Chapter Text
OA has to be the most patient person on the planet. Maggie decides this one morning after blowing off his questions about Jason again. OA never pushes. He never forces her to say anything. He'll rarely even ask, despite the fact she knows he wants to.
Maggie appreciates it. But it takes a long time for her to identify why. Because it doesn't make sense, that this could be so different.
For now, she's sitting beside him drinking after Scola offers drinks on him. They completed an asshole of a case that morning and Scola actually offered to shout everyone. Maggie should be happy, or at least, invested in the group. But she can't focus. She's used to having OA next to her at almost all times. He's there when she talks to her sister. He's there for every case. He's there for every injury. He's seen her at what he knows is her worst, and she him. But today, his presence beside her is affecting her. She wants to turn and snuggle up to his side. She wants him to hug her side and tuck her against him.
What is she thinking? Better yet, why is she thinking that?
"Maggie?" OA leans closer to her ear to get her attention. She's zoned out, lost in thought.
"Sorry." She apologises. "This case was a pain."
"I know." He sighs, nudging her side gently. "Are you ok?"
"I'm fine." She nods. It's true, to an extent. Nothing's wrong, but something feels off. "I might go home. Don't feel too good."
He offers to drive her, and that's normal for them. OA is always protecting her. But today she can't handle the though of being alone with him. Maggie retreats to her apartment, and she feels lost as she drags her body into her room. She slips on one of the oversized tshirts that OA has left in her car more than once, and it's comforting on her body. She sinks into her bed and replays the day and the past few weeks over in her mind. What was going on with her? She's never really paid attention to the way OA looks. But suddenly her brain is telling her that he's ripped, and in a really good way. And suddenly her brain is registering that he smells so freaking nice. She loves his cologne. When had those thoughts even started? And better yet, why did they start?
Maggie isn't stupid. She's confident in her ability to act normal. But she's not confident in her ability to remain normal forever. In fact, that thought brings tears to her eyes. What the hell is happening?
Maybe she's only just realising what she's felt all along. But OA is her best friend. He's been her partner for 4 years. Of course she cares about him. Of course she's gonna like his cologne, and his build that has protected her on numerous occasions. OA probably thinks along that line at times too. He's definitely not losing sleep because he thinks he might have feelings for her.
That thought makes her cry. Maggie curls in on herself, sobs wracking her body, the scent of OA's cologne strong in the tshirt she's wearing. Tonight, it makes her feel alone. She wishes her was here.
~~~~~~
Omar loves Maggie. She's the smartest, strongest and most loyal woman ever.
For a long time, he's thought that saying you love someone doesn't have to mean romantically. Maggie is like his best friend, and he's not embarrassed to admit that. But today, he's finally realized that he is actually in love with her.
The thought hits him hard as they sit beside each other at drinks that evening. He's okay with it when she touches him or sits beside him or offers a million-dollar smile, but tonight it's too much. He doesn't want her to smile at him like that. He wants to pin her against a wall and kiss her till it's a breathy, dazed smile.
He's never wanted to kiss her before, that he remembers. But now it's all that he's thinking about.
He supposes that's especially because today she broke up with Nestor. That prick had it coming, with his smug ass face and his complete lack of respect for anything Maggie said. He thought he was better than everyone and OA couldn't stand the guy. He'd attempted to make that clear to Maggie from the get go, because he's OA and she's his best friend and he won't hold back saying the truth to spare her feelings for this one. Besides, it was an undercover case! He had more chemistry with her in real life, not hidden away in some little apartment pretending to be a couple with no real basis to the relationship except that their supervisors asked them to do it.
So maybe this was a bit of a sore spot for him. He believed in treating women with respect, not being a jerk and somehow still getting the girl he's wanted for 2 years now. Because unlike Maggie, OA isn't afraid to admit what he's thinking. He never thought about her just as a friend. He's in love with her.
Of course he resolves that he won't make things awkward by telling her. She's certainly not thinking this way, especially if Nestor is any indication of her taste in men. He knows that Jason can't have been like that and it pushes his desire to tell her down because she's his best friend. He won't risk that friendship by having her reject him. He respects her too much. And it's hard. He's never afraid to say anything to her. He made perfectly clear his opinion on Nestor, he makes perfectly clear everything he's thinking. The good and the bad. But not this time, no, this time he cannot.
He almost loses his control one night when he drives her home cause he doesn't trust the subway system. She hugs him and smiles at him as she gets out of the car, and he desperately wants to yank her back and connect his lips with hers. But he doesn't. He fights. And he realises that he's completely screwed. He can't work like this. But it'll kill him to lose her as his partner.
"Focus, OA." He mumbles. He decides he'll put this energy to good use, and he makes his way to the gym in his house. Everywhere he goes has been touched by Maggie, even this place, but he fights to push that away. He can do this. Even if it breaks his heart.
~~~~~~
When Maggie goes to her sister's apartment, it breaks her more than she ever imagined. So when she arrives on OA's doorstep at 12 am, sobbing and confused, she's not sure what she's expecting. Because even she is a total mess of hysteria, and so what does she expect from OA if she's not even aware of it herself?
"Maggie?" OA asks, shock spreading across his features quickly. She sees his training as he scans her up and down, taking in the tears, and the time, and every other thing going on. "What's wrong?" His words are rushed, he looks panicked, he reaches across the threshold of his door for her and pulls her inside, trying to look for any signs of injuries as he plies her with questions. "Are you hurt? Did you fall over, hit your head? Did Erin do something? How can I help?
"I'm sorry." It's his last question that triggers that reaction, because in this state she's afraid of what she may do if OA keeps asking her questions like this. "I shouldn't have-" She starts.
"Hey, don't." OA interrupts, gripping her by the shoulders and guiding her towards his couch, then sitting beside her and massaging her back gently. "What happened Mags?"
"I t-talked to her." She says. "And I was right. She was doing drugs. I found them in her apartment. Her fucking apartment, OA, after everything we did to help and the rehab and the hours I spent trying to make sure she could live a normal, sober life." Her voice cracks as she cries. OA lets out a breath and hugs her to his chest. She relishes the feeling even as it breaks her heart. He doesn't love her, not the way she loves him. And she wants him to; his hug gives her a faux hope that she'll never get over. "I just wish I'd realised sooner." Maggie says, honestly.
"Hey, don't go there." OA reprimands. "It's not your fault. You helped, didn't you? You knew. You trusted your instincts. You did the right thing Mags, don't blame yourself.
She can't believe him. No, it doesn't matter how long he holds her and comforts her. Maggie knows it her fault, just like Jason was her fault, just like everything is her fault. She is to blame. "Mags? Tell me you're not ignoring me."
"I might head home." Maggie ignores his question; and OA refuses to let her go. "OA please. Let go."
"I won't, not until I know you're not gonna go home still convinced you're to blame." OA responds. So they lay there, and Maggie falls asleep in his arms. Because she's a mess. And he won't let her get any worse.
~~~~~~
Their comms are on almost 24/7. Maggie always has hers in her ear, as does OA. Ultimately, the entire JOC can usually hear their conversations. Maggie's never cared about asking him if he's ok while everyone can hear. OA has never refrained from doing the same.
It's easy for Maggie to know which things bother him. She sees his fury from losing his best friend directed solely onto Jubal. Maggie chooses not to get involved, because no matter how much she cares about Jubal, she's biased towards always siding with OA, who's loyal and supportive to her all the time. But that loyalty is hard to push past when OA starts to go a little too far in being demanding with Jubal, because they all know how it works, they all know what having that friend, that informant, that's struggling that you don't want to hurt.
In the car, though, she wishes that their comms weren't connected, because they can't talk freely like she wants them to, and she wants to ask whether he's ok, how she can help, if there's anything she can do to help him go through the pain that she's all too familiar with. She doesn't get much of an opportunity, not until the end of the day. They return to the JOC to turn in their guns and change out of their vests. OA is quiet, quieter than usual, and almost everyone else has gone home. "I'm here, if you need me." Maggie says, as he helps her unstrap her vest.
"I know." He murmurs.
"You were there for me with Erin. I'll be here for you with this." Maggie says gently. "But you can't shut me out."
"I know." He repeats. "I feel like I'm to blame. I gave him that money."
"People with addictions will say anything to get the money that they need." Maggie says sternly. "That's not your fault."
OA shrugs, and Maggie offers to take him out for a drink to ease his stress. He declines the offer and returns home, but Maggie finds she can't stop thinking about him, concern preventing her from getting much sleep that night.
~~~~~~
Watching OA interact with his sister is surprisingly.....not surprising. He treats Amira like a child, at times, though she sees past his controlling tendencies and straight through to why he's doing it; OA is worried for her, and doesn't know how to show it. Maggie isn't aware that she's being observed too. Amira has been watching them since she first met Maggie, though in truth, she's heard so much about Maggie that she really only needs to put a face to the woman who she knows has caught her brother's affection. Not that he'll admit that aloud, and it's amusing that he thinks Maggie doesn't like him back, because had she not been introduced to Maggie as his partner she would've thought it was his girlfriend.
Amira is almost amused by how just one look from Maggie calms her brother down to a manageable level. He was more head over heels than she thought. The clincher is how many times he says "Be careful" to Maggie across the day, sometimes even without a single reason. He's completely besotted with Maggie. She's happy for him. She cares about him a lot.
~~~~~~
OA will always check on Maggie. Regardless of where they are, who they're with, or what they're doing. He wants to know she's safe at all times. Sometimes, though, OA can go too far. And today is one of those times.
"You could've been killed. And it scared the hell out of me." Maggie is furious when she speaks, fire blazing in her tone. "Don't do that again." Because he's jumped on an armed suspect with no warning and is shot, and he doesn't even seem to care. The look on his face is one of confusion, like he can't understand why she's upset, but she's not upset, she's furious. OA apologises, but Maggie has a hard time coping with her thoughts for the rest of the day. It's obvious that she's upset. OA rarely sees her cry, but seeing his partner drop her head into her hands and whimper, seeing his partner wipe the running mascara off her cheeks, now that is almost too much for him to handle.
"Maggie, I'm sorry." He whispers. "I promise it won't happen again."
"Promise?" She murmured, looking up at him with tear stained eyes, because everyone she loves she loses, and she doesn't want to lose him too.
"I promise." He repeated firmly.
It soothes her anxiety some, and she pretends that it doesn't affect her when he holds her hand in the drive back to the JOC, not letting her go when he's up in the elevator, only finally releasing her hand when Isobel congratulates them. She knows it's only for her comfort, but she's grateful for it anyway.