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“FITZ, WATCH OUT!” Biana shouted from across the field.
But it was too late.
The cloud of spores was already surrounding his figure, and the last you could see of Fitz through the green smog was his hand and face. His hand stretched out as if someone would save him. His face was actually somewhat frightened. Then the smog covered his hand and face.
Darkness. That was the first thing Fitz saw. He stood up, looking around. Then the darkness slowly morphed into the room that his dad had been laid down in. When his guilt had collapsed his sanity.
“DAD!!” Fitz called out, rushing up to the bed, muttering things under his breath as he tried to keep the tears out of his eyes. Nobody else was in the room, but everything seemed hazy, almost like a dream. Only his comatose father and himself. He tried shaking his father awake, suddenly subject back to the mindset he was stuck in during that dark time. Then the image of Alden melted away, as well as the rest of the room. Fitz was back in the darkness, falling to his knees before he started to hear the whispers.
And they were horrible.
“Needs to work on his temper.”
“No hope for the Vacker legacy now.”
“Traitor.”
“Anger issues.”
“Too full of himself.”
“Doesn’t even care..”
Those weren't even the worst of it. Fitz tried covering his ears and curling up but that only made the whispers grow louder. Everything he’d ever tried to drown out, whirling around him in storms. He felt like a little kid again, where the world just seemed too big. Like he couldn’t take it on.
Things only got worse from there. Suddenly, the darkness started to melt away into a forest, but the whispers were still there. In the trees. In the wind.
Fitz was standing, turning around to see.. Alvar. Fitz's fists clenched and he glared, readying a punch on his sly older brother's stupid grin. Maybe aimed at his windpipe. That'd wipe Alvar's stupid arrogant smirk right off of his stupid face. “Fitzy,” Alvar cooed condescnedingly. “It's been a while.”
“SHUT UP!” Fitz shouted, running full speed as his anger took a hold of him inside his chest. He threw the hardest punch he could aimed at Alvar's face. But his older brother just took a simple step back, like it was all too easy to evade Fitz. “Too slow.” Alvar teased, his grin only widening along with Fitz's rage. Fitz tackled Alvar to the ground, slamming his shoulders into the dirt of the path. Alvar continued grinning, and Fitz's mission was to now wipe the smirk off of his face. "Someone's angry." Alvar stated the obvious.
“Oh, I wonder why!” Fitz shouted with a roll of his eyes. “YOU'RE A BACKSTABBER! A TRAITOR!” Fitz screamed, punctuating each shout with a slam of Alvar's torso into the ground. "Oh please. You know I'm much more than that.” Alvar huffed. “But your friends didn't. Sad, isn't it? To know that you were right all along when they refused to believe you? Not Keefe, not Sophie, not the Council.. not even our parents.” If Alvar's grin grew any wider, he'd look like a psychopath. But that last line had earned Alvar a punch in the face, a rough one at that. To watch the blood start spilling from his nose was satisfying, and it calmed Fitz down. But only slightly.
“Shame, really.” Alvar started again. “You can actually be pretty smart when you try. But when you actually get things right, who listens?” Fitz tried punching him again, but Alvar vanished. Not like a normal Vanisher, but Fitz sunk to the ground as if he'd never been there. He quickly scrambled up to his feet again, looking around himself before spotting Alvar again a few feet away. Fitz glared, noticing the blood was gone from Alvar's face and his nose simply looked healed again. “Nobody listens, do they, Fitz? Nobody listens. Because nobody likes you. Admit it! You know you're entitled. You don't have the same 'edgy backstory' as everyone else. You were born into practical royalty! No wonder nobody listens to you! And no one ever will.” Alvar said, his tone taking a dark shift at the end.
“YOU'RE WRONG!” Fitz snarled. “My friends do listen to me.” Fitz had to reel his anger in again. But that was such a hard task when Alvar stood there smirking like he knew his friends. “Maybe they do.” Alvar shrugged. “But do they trust you? I mean, look at you! You're a ball of rage. Everyone always looks at you like a bomb about to explode. Sophie didn't tell you that she was looking through Lord Cassius' memories until she already had. That was your job, wasn't it?” Fitz was so distracted by Alvar's taunts that he hadn't even noticed the change in scenery. "But, no, everything's so important that the Moonlark always has to be involved. Why can't you ever have anything for yourself?”
Fitz was silent this time, trying to ignore the pounding pain in his skull. But soon he began swaying, opening his eyes to see that he and Alvar were.. on a boat. The wind was picking up, and the sail had been torn apart. The rest of his family was there too. Not all of them, because that'd have to be a huge boat. Just his immediate family, like his dad, mom, Biana, and Alvar still.
His mom and dad were by a door near the center of the boat, urging for Alvar, Biana and Fitz to get inside. Alvar was on the opposite side of the boat from where Biana was standing by the railing, struggling to keep her grip. Alvar was grinning again, which only lighted the fuse of Fitz's anger again. “Well, what's it going to be, little brother? Run after me, or save her?” Fitz wasn't even able to ask who when he heard a scream from the other side, whipping his head to check. Biana.
He glanced over his shoulder just in time to see Alvar diving into the water, before sprinting onto the other side of the boat and vaulting over the edge.
Biana was drifting down in the water, and Fitz channeled all of his energy into his legs to swim after her. Her eyes began closing, and that only quickened Fitz's haste. He grabbed her by her waist, turning back to the boat and swimming up as fast as he could with all of his energy. He managed to get her onto the deck of the boat. Fitz had begun hoisting himself up when his ankle was grabbed from below the surface of the waves, being dragged down by his traitorous older brother.
Fitz flailed and glared, finding it difficult to move his limbs very fast in the water. He hadn't been able to get a good breath of air, and was now struggling to breathe himself. His chest felt tight, like it might explode if he didn't breathe that very second. His body involuntarily tried, and he ended up swallowing sea water. He tried coughing it out, but that only filled his lungs more. He couldn't breathe. He was drowning.
His vision darkened and soon the world went black.
+++
“He’s not breathing.” Biana said, for the 15th time in 2 minutes. “He’s not BREATHING!” Biana repeated, a panicked tone to her voice.
“We’re doing everything we can, we’re trying, Ms. Vacker, really.” Elwin said in a soothing tone, hoping to calm Biana down. Elwin looked up momentarily, giving Sophie and Keefe a look before turning back around to talk with Livvy and discuss the elixirs very hastily. They both looked equally concerned and confused.
Sophie and Keefe exchanged a glance. Then Sophie looked at Biana, putting a gentle hand on her shoulder.
“Hey, Biana.. Come on, let’s get you some fresh air.” Sophie suggested.
“Yeah, he’s in good hands.” Keefe agreed, gently grabbing Biana’s hand to try and lead her outside of the room. So Livvy and Elwin could work in peace.
Biana opened her mouth to argue before she let out a small defeated sigh. It sounded like a sob. She stood up, covering her mouth with her hand as Sophie and Keefe both led her out of the room slowly.
+++
Fitz heard screams. He swore he could hear them. Loud, echoing, gut wrenching screams. They echoed in the walls of the darkness, bouncing off one another until the screams swarmed his ears. Fitz curled up into a fetal position, covering his ears.
Then it was silent. Everything was silent. Fitz opened an eye, raising an eyebrow. He was confused. Why did the screams stop? Not that he wasn’t grateful, of course, but there had to be some reason. Then again, in whatever.. This place was, rhyme and reason didn’t seem to exist.
Everything seemed peaceful for a bit, though it was still dark. No light, pure darkness. But nothing was screaming or chasing him. He could breathe again. He was glad about that.
But he didn’t trust this place. Whatever it was.
But second by second ticked by, and nothing else happened.
Well, until it did.
Fitz heard whispers in the dark again. Though he wasn’t able to make out what they were saying. He could tell where they were coming from though. He began walking towards the source, and slowly but surely, as he crept along, he seemed to be in a hallway of Everglen.
More whispers.
Fitz was in his pajamas. He felt little. Smaller. His brain felt fuzzy, and he was tired. He let out a small yawn, continuing to creep down the hallway.
More whispers.
He followed them all the way to his dad’s study, where the door cracked open just a sliver. Again, more whispers continued from inside the study.
Fitz pushed open the door, his eyes landing on Alvar in a seat. He was on his Imparter, whispering before he heard the door creak. He immediately put the Imparter in the drawer, smiling softly at Fitz and getting up. “Hey, bud, what are you doing up so late? We should get you to bed.” Fitz felt some gut feeling that told him to be angry, be furious. But his head was fuzzy. He had a small headache. So the gut feeling drifted away.
“Who were you talking to?” Fitz asked, in a small voice.
“Just a friend.” Alvar answered curtly, ruffling Fitz’s hair before putting a hand on his back to lead him out of the study. “Come on, let’s get you back to your room.” As Fitz was led out of the study into the hallway, darkness slowly started to creep into the edges of his vision, blacking everything out until Fitz was back in complete darkness by himself.
His headache subsided and his head stopped feeling fuzzy. He just witnessed a memory, didn’t he?
What the hell was going on?
Fitz wanted to punch something. He felt his fists clenching, the anger swelling in his head the way it always did when he started to get mad. The angry thoughts swirled in his mind, and the intrusive ones spoke out the loudest. The ones that he’d never want anyone else to hear.
Then things started shoving their way into his head, loud and bright and colorful things like dancing unicorns. It reminded Fitz of that sedative Elwin gave him when he was healing from the echoes and needed to sleep. Just intrusive bubbly cartoon things to invade his mind to avoid nightmares. Weird, right? It started to annoy Fitz, but the strange thing was that whenever he started to get vaguely annoyed, the intrusive bubbly things started just appealing to his interests. So he was practically in a forced state of calm.
After what felt like forever, the images began to subside and Fitz was left in the darkness again. He’d never been more grateful for it. He sighed a sigh of relief, laying down on his back and just.. Laying down. It was relaxing. He felt stressless, carefree for once. It almost felt unnatural, but Fitz didn’t really care.
The darkness began to ebb away again, and Fitz was looking up at the branches of a tree, rays of sunlight peeking through the leaves and leaving the foliage shadowed. Next to him lay Biana, in the grass. They were both wearing bramble jerseys, and they were both smaller than what Fitz remembered.
But then his brain started to get all fuzzy again. Things seemed more simple, and Fitz remembered why they were there.
Alvar had told them to wait outside for a little bit, while he had a chat with a few of his friends. Fitz and Biana had startled to play bramble, but quickly got bored so were just laying in the grass. Fitz had mostly gotten tired of losing. Biana had snickered at him, and teased him, but this was a few minutes later so the teasing had subsided. For now, at least. Fitz could hear the crunching of fallen leaves on the ground, like someone was walking on them. He sat up, looking over towards the noise to see Alvar approaching them. He gave the two a smile, gesturing for Biana and Fitz to get up and follow him. “Alright, come on guys, everyone’s settled. Keefe’s excited to meet you two.”
Fitz tilted his head. “Who’s Keefe?” Biana and Fitz said in almost perfect sync.
Alvar chuckled at the two. Biana and Fitz stood up and they began their way back to the house. “Keefe is the son of one of my coworkers,” he explained. “We’re having a meeting today, and we thought it’d be fun to organize you guys a little playdate of sorts.”
“Huh. Is he like, our age?” Biana asked as they walked.
“He’s about Fitz’s age.” Alvar said, then opened the door as the two younger Vackers went inside.
There was a blonde woman with icy blue eyes sitting on one of the couches in one of their living rooms, as well as two blonde men and a man whose face was almost distorted. Like Fitz couldn’t capture a proper image of it. It was weird, and it bothered him. The blonde woman smiled coyly as Fitz and Biana walked into the room, and it was almost unsettling. Fitz took a small step closer to Biana, wrapping an arm around her while she shoved the arm off.
“Keefe, darling, the other children are here.” the woman announced to the space behind the couch. A small boy crept out from behind the couch, peeking over it and spotting Fitz and Biana. He waved to them. Fitz waved back, a little unsure of what to think of their guests.
“Why don’t you three go play in your rooms upstairs?” Alvar suggested to Fitz, Biana and Keefe. Fitz shrugged.
“Uhm, sure. Come on.” Fitz said, gesturing for Keefe to follow him and Biana as they exited the living room. Keefe got up, walking over to Fitz and following him and his sister to the stairs, where they climbed to the floor above them. “Uh, you’re Fitz, right?” Keefe asked quietly, his hands in his pockets as they ascended the stairs.
“Yeah.” Fitz answered curtly. “That’s Biana.” He gestured to his little sister beside him. Biana huffed, shoving Fitz’s hand away. “I can introduce myself, you know.” She claimed moodily. Biana turned to look at Keefe, batting her eyelashes. “Hi, I’m Biana, and this is my stinky older brother.” Keefe looked at both of them, nodding. “Oh, uh, cool.” He said rather awkwardly.
As they continued to ascend the stairs, Fitz began to feel bouts of dizziness. Things began to blur, too much for Fitz to be able to comprehend what was being said or see where he was going. He fell backwards, but instead of falling down the stairs like he had expected, he hit the ground.
Fitz opened his eyes, and looked up to see darkness again. His head felt clearer than it had before. He huffed, pushing himself up off the ground and sitting up to think. That had been Keefe in the memory.. Hadn’t it? And his mom, Fintan, and Gethen– and Alvar. Even the thought of his traitorous brother’s name made him feel angry and queasy. Ugh, he didn’t like that feeling. He managed to calm himself down somewhat, trying different breathing techniques. It wasn’t helping very much, but it was helping some.
But the angry thoughts started swirling, like they always did when he tried to think situations over calmly. Because Fitz could never be calm, never contain the angry beast raging around in his head.
It was always there. It was a constant thing. Always prowling in his head, scratching at his thoughts and begging to be unleashed. Fitz always had to calm it down and pull it back. Control his temper.
That was one of the things he hated hearing, over and over and over. ‘Control your temper’, ‘you’ve got to work on your anger issues’, things like that. He just wanted to scream at them that he was trying. He was constantly biting his tongue, trying to hold back and throttle back in order to keep everyone happy and not mad at him. The swirling rage in his head was something he was used to, though not necessarily something he had learned to tame. It only tried fighting to get out when something provoked it. Like Alvar. Or Keefe’s dumb ogre bodyguard. Or a lot of other things that aren't worth mentioning.
He felt something grab his hand, murmuring beyond the darkness as he felt the darkness in his head shift. Something was there with him. Fitz scrambled up from where he had been sitting, looking around frantically as if he expected to encounter a foe. There were sounds of swirling air around him, and Fitz stiffened into his defensive stance. Then he felt a hand on his shoulder. He swiveled around quickly, a punch drawn back and ready to be thrown when he saw who the hand belonged to.
“Tiergan?” Fitz managed to ask as he lowered his fist.
His Telepathy mentor smiled and nodded, not seeming to be very bothered– or surprised– by almost being hit in the face. “I suppose I should announce myself before I enter someone’s consciousness.” Tiergan admitted with a small smile. “Wh- that’s where we are?! I’ve been stuck inside my head this whole time?!” Fitz seethed, his fists balling up at his sides as angry thoughts began swirling around the two.
Tiergan let out an exasperated sigh. “Yes, and I’m sorry you’ve been stuck. I was called in late.” He explained, though was noticeably careful with his words.
Fitz looked around himself, noticing the angry thoughts and doing his best to reel the beast back. Angry thoughts and conspiracies still swirled around them, until cool gentle breezes swirled inside the darkness instead. Fitz raised an eyebrow, somewhat confused by the mental breezes. Though he certainly wasn’t arguing with them. They were calm and peaceful.
“That must be Keefe.” Tiergan commented as his hair swirled around him in an ethereal way.
Fitz wrinkled his nose in a way that seemed almost disgusted and somewhat bothered. “What does he have anything to do with this?” Fitz asked, the thoughts swirling around in his head betraying his emotions. He didn't want anyone having even a remote clue as to what he was thinking or feeling. Especially since he previously thought he had been by himself. When he was by himself, he didn't have to filter anything.
“He’s there to monitor your stress levels while I attempt to bring you out of your mental space.” Tiergan explained. He extended a hand out for Fitz to grab. “We should probably get started if you want to try and leave.” Fitz paused for a moment, eyeing Tiergan’s hand before taking it. “So… how do we do this?” He asked, looking up to meet Tiergan’s gaze.
“It’s simple. Think about how when you enter someone else’s mind. How do you normally get yourself out?” Tiergan asked.
“I- I don’t know! It’s sort of just natural.” Fitz responded, obviously becoming impatient. As if the angry thoughts weren’t enough to tell Tiergan to hurry up.
“Alright. That’s okay, don’t worry. Calm down your thoughts, Fitz.” Tiergan advised carefully.
More soothing mental breezes floated throughout Fitz’s head, and Fitz began to calm down again. He just had to breathe. In and out.
Breathe.
He chanted it like a mantra, and the words floated among the cool blue breezes. Tiergan smiled and grabbed onto Fitz’s other hand, closing his eyes. Fitz did the same, shutting his eyes and allowing himself to be lifted out of the terrible darkness he’d been trapped in. Tiergan seemed to be floating along with Fitz.
+++
“There’s the man of the hour!” Elwin announced with a smile as Fitz opened his eyes. He propped himself up with his elbow almost immediately, surveying his surroundings. He was in the Healing Center.. Wait no, not the Healing Center. Fitz blinked, trying to steady the focus of his vision. Some sort of hollowed out cave looking like place. Livvy was standing next to Elwin with her hand on his shoulder.
Keefe was standing next to Fitz with a grin. He had supplied the cool, gentle breezes in Fitz’s head that had kept him calm. He was met with a small, grateful smile for that. Sophie was behind Keefe, messing with her nails and putting her gloves back on. Fitz didn’t say anything, and didn’t bother to look in her direction again.
Then Sophie and Keefe were shoved to the side—rather forcefully, as Biana came charging through and wrapping Fitz in a bear hug.
“Ugh, I missed you! Are you okay? You're so– stupid!” Biana blurted out all at once, hugging Fitz, then slapping him in the face, then hugging him again, then backing up and letting go. You’re so stupid, you’re such an idiot- but I’m so glad you’re okay. When Bullhorn curled up around you- I- but then he left and went back under Elwin's desk.” Biana admitted, taking in a deep breath. Fitz smiled at her, sitting up in his bed. “Guess I just didn’t pay attention to your warning fast enough.” Fitz admitted with a shrug. "Just don't ever think of doing that again." Biana made him swear before Fitz was able to look back at Elwin and Livvy.
“What was that, by the way?” Fitz asked.
“Some kind of spore that attacks your nervous system.” Livvy piped up. “It reaches your nerves, nerves like on the tips of your fingers that help your senses, and then goes up to your head and basically locks you in there. Different things we tried might’ve triggered certain things.” She explained.
“Oh.” Fitz said. Well that explained all the things to do with Alvar. Livvy and Elwin both looked at Fitz with apologetic smiles, as if they could read his mind.
Fitz decidedly looked away, ending up with his gaze settled on Keefe. “Uh. Thank you, for the mental breeze things.” Fitz said awkwardly. He was met with an award winning smile from Keefe. “Yeah, no problem Fitzy! Just Team Foster-Keefe working our magic!” He exclaimed.
Great. Now he had an obligation to thank Sophie. “And thank you, Sophie.” Fitz said rather blandly. Though it did make sense that Keefe had needed Sophie’s help. Her enhancing ability probably gave Keefe the ability to even cause the cool mental breezes in the first place. Maybe he should’ve said it nicer. Reel back the grudge holding beast for a second, Fitz. “Really. Thanks. Both of you. I- don’t know how bad things could’ve gotten in there.” He admitted.
“Awwwwwwwwww, you’re welcome Fitzy!” Keefe said with a grin, his hands on his hips. Sophie nodded with a small smile. "No problem."
Fitz began feeling self conscious. What if someone had looked at his memories? Had Tiergan seen anything? Fitz had been lost in his train of thought, staring into space. He hadn’t even noticed that Keefe had grabbed a hold of his wrist until he said, “Whoa, Fitzy, that’s some serious anxiety I’m getting from you.”
Fitz yanked his wrist away, glaring at Keefe and holding his wrist away from Keefe. “It’s– none of your business.” Fitz said hastily. “Alrighty then, Fitzy.” Keefe put his hands up as if surrendering, then shoved them back into their respective pockets.