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“We are never having one of those little monsters,” Sirius exclaimed the moment they arrived in their home by the Floo. Remus, a split second ahead of him, rolled his eyes and started brushing the ash off of his sweater.
“You say that every time Harry cries,” Remus reminded him. “You love him.”
“But they cry, Moony,” Sirius reiterated. “It’s terrible. We’re not having one.”
“I’ve bad news, then, Padfoot,” Remus told him gravely. “I’m pregnant.”
“I hate you,” Sirius replied, throwing a handful of Floo Powder in his face. Remus snorted in laughter and started dusting off his face. “No, I’m being serious. Children - I don’t know. I just-”
“Relax,” Remus interrupted him before he could get well and truly going on the topic. He squeezed Sirius’ shoulders before letting his hands trail down to circle around his wrists. “You’re just scared of change and growing up.”
“I am not.”
“You absolutely are, and that’s okay.” Remus brought one of Sirius’ hands up to his mouth and kissed the inside of his wrist. “So am I.”
Sirius watched him for a second before he relaxed. “When did James grow up?”
“When did any of us?” Remus replied, letting go of one of Sirius’ wrists to stroke his fingers through Sirius’ hair. Sirius wiped a smudge of Floo Powder of Remus’ jaw with his thumb. “It’s going to be alright. We’ll get through it. Maybe we’ll even come out on the other side resembling adults.”
“Unlikely,” Sirius said. Remus laughed, and Sirius pushed his head into Remus’ palm. “C’mon. Let’s go make a baby.”
“As much as you hate me, I hate you more,” Remus said, and Sirius laughed in his face.