Chapter Text
It was two days after their near-miraculous return from Kyoto that Tatsumi arrived with what was, in Hisoka's view, an absolutely absurd assignment.
"Seconded?" Hisoka asked, his voice pitching high in disbelief. "We're being seconded? We just got back from Kyoto!"
Tatsumi pinched the bridge of his nose beneath his glasses and sighed. "Believe me, I'm not any happier about it than you are," he replied, frosty. "It couldn't be worse timing if we tried. But we're absolutely swamped in Chubu, and we need more hands on deck out there. There's no helping it."
"We can't get sent on a case," Hisoka said blankly. "Tsuzuki's still--you can't seriously be thinking of sending him back into the field right now. He's not fit to work his own district, you think he can help clean up someone else's mess? I don't care how much help they need, we're not sending Tsuzuki anywhere right now, Tatsumi-san."
"I'm well aware of Tsuzuki-san's condition," Tatsumi replied, stolid and stoic, as though he hadn't been huddled wretchedly by Tsuzuki's sickbed in the infirmary earlier today. "That's why he's not getting seconded anywhere. You are."
Hisoka recoiled in his seat. He was probably gawping like an idiot, but he couldn't bring himself to care, because--"I'm being seconded?" he asked. "Without Tsuzuki?" The very idea made his head flare hot and his stomach roil. He slammed his hands on the desktop. "You can't be serious. I will not--"
Tatsumi's eyebrow twitched. "It's not permanent, if that's what you're worried about," he said. "I've informed Oda-san and Hasegawa-san in the Chubu District that we're willing to second you strictly for this one case that they don't have the manpower for. We're lending you to them for one week, and then we'll assess the situation. Extensions only as necessary for this one case--as soon as it's done, you'll come back home. If you finish things up quickly, you'll be back in a week, and Tsuzuki-san will barely notice you've been gone." His stern expression softened slightly, his lips curling into a smile that was probably meant to be reassuring. "You don't have to worry, Kurosaki-kun. It took us decades to find Tsuzuki-san a partner who could stick with him; we're not about to let someone else snatch you out from under our noses."
Hisoka huffed, glowering. "I don't suppose I really have any say in the matter," he grumbled.
"I'm afraid not," Tatsumi replied. "You'll head over to Nagoya tomorrow." He handed over a manila folder. "Paperwork for your assignment. Fill it out and get it to me before you clock out--I need to fax it to Oda-san before the end of the day."
"Yes, sir," Hisoka said, taking the folder. He didn't open it, though, just held it in his hand and looked up at Tatsumi. "Have you told Tsuzuki?"
Tatsumi nudged his glasses up; the gleam of the light on the lenses obscured his eyes. "Not yet, but I will," he answered. "You don't need to worry about that."
Hisoka leveled a flat stare at him, and Tatsumi sighed in response. "You're right," he acknowledged. "Tsuzuki-san is someone who buys a lot of anxiety. I understand why you're worried."
Once upon a time, Hisoka would have objected, vociferously and with much embarrassed bluster, to the assertion that he would ever worry about Tsuzuki. But he was no longer so fresh or naive, and Tsuzuki was no longer so talented with his shield of dopey, affable idiocy, and Hisoka didn't know if he would ever live another day of his afterlife without fearing that he would never see Tsuzuki again.
"It will be all right, Kurosaki-kun," Tatsumi said, with a gentleness that was too pointed and stiff to be of any comfort. Hisoka wished he could believe him.
Hisoka wasn't sure if it was a good thing or a bad thing, but Tsuzuki was awake when he arrived at the infirmary.
Tsuzuki was still in a pretty sorry state; he was lank and pallid, the bags under his eyes outdone only by the shadows lingering inside them. But he smiled when Hisoka walked in the room, and it was real enough to count for something. "Hisoka," he said, "if you don't bring me back some uirou, I will never forgive you."
Well, at least he was feeling well enough to joke.
Hisoka dropped himself into the chair installed by Tsuzuki's bedside. "So you've heard the news," he said gloomily.
"Tatsumi swung by to tell me," Tsuzuki replied. "He was steaming so hard I could almost see the smoke coming from his ears. I can't believe someone managed to argue him down about anything."
"I wouldn't have expected it of Nagoya," Hisoka muttered. "What do they even have going on up there that they need help with?"
"Whatever it is, they must be stretched pretty thin if they're going around begging for backup from Kyushu," Tsuzuki said. "On the bright side, Nagoya has some great food! Have you ever been?"
Hisoka fixed him with an unimpressed look. "Why would I go to Nagoya?"
"It is one of the Big Three, you know," Tsuzuki replied. "A place doesn't get to be one of the biggest cities in the country for no reason. There's got to be plenty of stuff to bring people there!" There were practically stars in his eyes. "Like uirou! And ogura toast! And nagoyan!"
Hisoka crossed his arms. "Aside from food, is there anything else worth going to Nagoya for?" he asked.
Tsuzuki opened his mouth, then paused. Hisoka could almost see the gears turning behind his eyes. "Nagoya has great food," he said at last.
Hisoka dropped his head into his hands with a sigh.
"But the food!" Tsuzuki insisted with much gusto. "And I'm not going to be going, so you have to eat everything for me, okay? Like uirou! And ogura toast! And nagoyan! And I expect food reports on everything when you get back! Remember, I'm going to be living vicariously through you! So you have to try everything!"
Hisoka raised his head. Tsuzuki was positively beaming, grinning like an idiot, his eyes shining. It was convincing, even with the wanness of his face and the exhausted slump of his shoulders. It was almost scary, how convincing it was.
But Hisoka wasn't convinced. Not anymore.
There was a riot of emotion in Hisoka's chest and a flurry of tumult in his mind. You don't have to pretend, he thought. Why are you still hiding yourself from me? he thought. Will you be okay while I'm gone? he thought.
Will you still be here when I get back?
But despite the anxious knot in his gut and the searing twinge in his heart, Hisoka held his tongue. He couldn't bring this up, not now. Not yet. Not when the wound was still so raw, not when Tsuzuki was still so vulnerable. Not when Hisoka still saw the scene on the backs of his eyelids every time he blinked.
"You'll have to give me a full list," Hisoka said instead. "To make sure I eat everything I'm supposed to."
Tsuzuki's eyes lit up. "I will!" he said. "I'll start right now! Do you have something I can write with? Nagoya food is amazing! There's so much you need to try, Hisoka--oh, and you need to bring back some red miso! And do you think you'll have time to go to Ise? If you do, you have to bring back some Akafuku--"
Hisoka sighed and leaned his cheek in one hand as Tsuzuki blathered away, regaling Hisoka with long-winded descriptions of seemingly every delicacy the Tokai region had to offer. Soon, his words blended into a blur of sound that flowed over Hisoka like a brook. Tsuzuki babbled excitedly, with expansive hand gestures and bouncing intonation, and oh, how very convincing it was.
Hisoka closed his eyes, just for a moment, and swallowed down the knot in his throat. I'll be back soon, he promised in the long, dark quiet of his own mind. I'll be back soon, so please, Tsuzuki, please be okay.
The next morning, Hisoka swung by the Summons Division for more paperwork and his briefing. "They won't be able to hold your hand," Tatsumi warned as he stamped far more documents than could possibly be necessary. "I know you can handle yourself, Kurosaki-kun, but remember that there's a reason we don't send shinigami out into the field alone. Oda-san has assured me that this should be a minor case, but stay cautious."
"I'm not Tsuzuki," Hisoka countered, irked. "I know how to stay out of trouble."
"I'm more concerned about the possibility of trouble finding you," Tatsumi replied sardonically. "I'm not sure exactly what your case entails, but if you get in over your head, I don't care what Oda-san has to say, you pull out, understand? I have no intention of explaining to Tsuzuki-san if something happens to you while you're out working a case solo."
Then don't send me out to work a case solo, Hisoka thought irritably, but wisely kept his mouth shut. His disgruntled stare might have given him away, though.
"This should be a minor case," Tatsumi repeated. "Oda-san and Hasegawa-san are the shinigami in charge of the Chubu District. They're on their own case right now, so they've set up shop in an office on the ground in Nagoya. They've arranged to put you up in a hotel nearby, so you'll be working out of that office with them, inasmuch as you'll need an office. You'll be going there to get a full briefing from them--they should be making a bit of time for you later today. But go visit Gushoushin before you leave. We'll send you out with a phone and a computer so that you can get in touch if you need research or other assistance." He didn't quite frown, but his lips thinned in disapproval. "I'd rather send one of them with you, but Gushoushin the Elder is already out on a case with the Shikoku team, which means the Younger has to stay here. You'll have to make do. If you need anything, call or send a message. But even if you don't, please report in nightly. We need to keep track of how your case is going so we can plan for your return."
Tatsumi held out a folder. Hisoka took it, but didn't bother to check its contents; he was pretty sure it was just the paperwork he'd filled out yesterday, now stamped to make it official. "Understood," he said. "Anything else?"
"That's all I have for you," Tatsumi replied. "As I said, Oda-san and Hasegawa-san will fill you in on the details of your case when you arrive in Nagoya. Ask them if you need anything beyond what Gushoushin can provide--they should be handling all of the paperwork."
"Got it." Hisoka rose from his seat. "What time should I head to Nagoya?"
"As soon as you've received your computer and phone from Gushoushin," Tatsumi said. "The sooner you head out, the sooner you'll be back."
Hisoka could only hope. "Understood," he said. "I'll head over to the library, then." He turned for the door, but then he paused. A sour taste bloomed in his mouth at the prospect of just... leaving.
His hesitation did not go unnoticed. "Sooner rather than later, if you wouldn't mind, Kurosaki-kun," Tatsumi said pointedly.
"Do I have time to check in on Tsuzuki before I go?" Hisoka asked.
Tatsumi's austere expression softened, just a hint. "If you make it quick," he said.
Hisoka gave him a short nod. But before he could leave, Tatsumi stopped him. "And Kurosaki-kun?"
Hisoka glanced back over his shoulder.
"We'll keep you updated if anything happens," Tatsumi said quietly.
Gushoushin the Younger was extremely frazzled when Hisoka arrived, his feathers in disheveled tufts as he clacked his beak and pounded away on his keyboard. "Hisoka-san!" he squawked, his eyes going comically wide. "What brings you here?"
"I'm being sent to Nagoya." Hisoka tossed his folder of secondment papers onto Gushoushin's desk. "And since I apparently can't have you with me, I'm supposed to get a computer and phone so I can stay in touch."
Gushoushin snatched up the folder and flipped it open, his eyes scanning the paperwork. "You're going alone?" he asked, dismayed. "Without Tsuzuki-san? Oh, my. Oh, dear."
"I know," Hisoka grumbled.
Gushoushin flitted away from his desk and returned shortly, hauling a laptop that was almost bigger than him and a cell phone. "Cell phone for emergencies only," he said, grunting as he lowered the devices onto the desk. "But you can email any time. I'll set up alerts so that I see whenever you email me. I'm busy trying to help out with the other mess in Nagoya right now, so I might not be able to respond right away, but if you need any research or anything, I'll get back to you as soon as I can."
"I'm supposed to be sending daily reports, too," Hisoka said. "I'll keep them short, but just so you know."
"I'll forward them to Tatsumi-san," Gushoushin promised. He wiped beads of sweat from his brow, and then he turned back to his computer. "I'm sorry, Hisoka-san, but I'm very busy right now--"
"It's fine," Hisoka said. He tucked the laptop under one arm and slid the phone into his pocket. "Thanks."
"Take care!" Gushoushin chirped. "I know it must be hard to go out into the field alone, but we'll take good care of Tsuzuki-san here, don't you worry!"
Hisoka couldn't find it in himself to dredge up even a half-hearted smile. He shouldn't be going out into the field without Tsuzuki in the first place. Because shinigami worked in pairs, and Tsuzuki was his partner, and Hisoka wasn't meant to be alone anymore, and Tsuzuki was--Tsuzuki was--
"Thanks," Hisoka said. "I'll be counting on you."
Hisoka packed a backpack with his paperwork and Bureau-issued laptop and phone, and a duffel bag with a week's worth of clothes. He grabbed a bite to eat for lunch. He looked up the address of the temporary Nagoya office so he knew where he would be going.
And then, his stomach churning something awful, he went to the infirmary.
He almost didn't want to go. Not because he didn't want to see Tsuzuki, because that--that wasn't it. It wasn't that he didn't want to see Tsuzuki. It was just that if he saw Tsuzuki, he would have to say goodbye, and then he'd have to go to Nagoya on his own, and he'd have to leave Tsuzuki behind--
And how could he leave Tsuzuki behind when he'd had to beg Tsuzuki not to leave him behind?
But Hisoka was a shinigami, and he had his duties. So when he arrived at the infirmary door, he paused only for a moment, allowed himself just a second or two of miserable self-pity, and then he took a breath, knocked on the door to announce his arrival, and cracked the door open to peek inside.
Sprawled out in his hospital bed, Tsuzuki was asleep.
From the doorway, Hisoka stared, his fingers tightening around the edge of the door. He swallowed. "Tsuzuki," he whispered.
Tsuzuki offered no response but a soft, snuffling snore.
Hisoka slipped into the infirmary, closed the door delicately behind him, and tiptoed to Tsuzuki's bedside. Tsuzuki was conked out, his sheets and blankets a tangled mess around his limbs. He didn't look much better than he'd looked the day before--his skin was still sallow, bags like bruises under his eyes, his hair even more of a bird's nest than normal. How could he look so exhausted even in his sleep?
Tsuzuki was so good at hiding it when he was awake. But in the cold unconsciousness of sleep, his body reflected and betrayed the true state of his psyche. Tsuzuki--Tsuzuki was not okay.
Without thinking, Hisoka reached out. But just a few centimeters short of touching Tsuzuki's hand, he realized what he was doing, and he faltered, his fingers flinching away. A strange, aching hollow opened up in his chest, as bleak and icy as the crags of a crumbling glacier. "Tsuzuki," he whispered, so quietly he could barely hear his own voice. "I'm heading off to Nagoya now. I'll solve the case as quickly as I can, so you don't have to--I'm not leaving you alone for long. Okay?"
Mercifully oblivious, Tsuzuki slept on.
"So wait for me," Hisoka pleaded. "I told you that you're the only place I come home to. So you have to be here when I come back, okay? You have to be here for me to come home to." The words were bitter on his tongue, and heavy with desperation. "So don't try to leave me behind again, Tsuzuki. I promise I'll come back soon. So you have to be here when I do."
Hisoka drew back before he did something he might regret, like reach out to touch his fingertips to Tsuzuki's. He closed his eyes for just a moment, gathering his bearings and steeling his nerve, and then he turned away, his head held high. He had a job to do.
