Work Text:
“Min Yoongi,” Jimin writes the name over and over in the margins of his notebook. Swirling hearts and flowers around the words. He sighs leaning his elbow against his desk, chin in hand.
Occasionally his eyes dart up to the front of the classroom where the teacher was fumbling through some ridiculously easy math problem with the student’s help. Jimin had already worked the problem ahead of time, heck; he had finished the whole worksheet minutes after the teacher had passed them out to the class.
That’s what he did every day in this class, finish his work quickly then daydream the rest of the hour. Being in advanced levels as only a freshman had its downsides, though. There were no friends in his class that he could giggle with behind his hand during the lessons, no friendly notes passed his way.
Which was fine with Jimin, it gave him more time to watch a certain junior seated a couple of rows to his left by the window.
At the front of the class, the teacher had made a mistake in the problem and was erasing at the numbers embarrassed. Jimin frowns. The people they hire these days, he thinks, returning to his doodling.
After dotting the i in Yoongi’s name with a heart, he glances towards the window for the hundredth time in the past hour. The sunlight streams through the large windows touching the floor and desks warmly. Outside the trees blow softly in the breeze as leaves flutter through the wind. Anyone else in the classroom might guess that Jimin was longing after the outdoors, hoping to be anywhere but this stuffy classroom. But that wasn’t the case. Jimin deals with the classroom’s chalk-filled air just to be near Yoongi if only for one hour of the day. And by near he means the distance of the classroom.
The sunshine touches Yoongi’s lose strands of hair in such a way that has Jimin smiling faintly. He was slumped down in his chair, leaning back attractively, hands in his pockets. Apparently, Yoongi isn’t listening to the lecture either because his face is turned towards the window, watching the blue sky with uninterested eyes. Just the sight of Yoongi is enough to make Jimin’s heart feel light in his chest.
He was about to look away again, Jimin always tried not to stare for too long or else the people around him might wonder, when suddenly Yoongi’s hand flung in the air lazily.
Jimin almost gasps at the action; Yoongi had never shown interest in this class ever. The teacher turns to him, face still red with shame at his mistake, and nods to Yoongi’s raised hand.
“Can I use the bathroom?” Yoongi asks plastering a fake smile on his face that causes Jimin to roll his eyes at the smugness of it.
“Uhh… yeah sure,” the teacher answers him anxiously.
Sighing Yoongi drags his chair across the floor dramatically, pushing himself up with hands on his desk, and turns towards the door in the back of the classroom.
Jimin stiffens in his chair and quickly turns the page in his notebook as Yoongi brushes past him down the aisle. The air stirs around him as Yoongi walks near his desk, cooling his face and making him shiver.
A group of girls seated behind Jimin giggle softly to one another when Yoongi smiles down at them on his way out the door.
Jimin lets out the breath he was holding in, feeling his heart grow cold. Without Yoongi here it was just another pointless class that Jimin didn’t need to take. Glancing at the clock above the chalkboard, he still had twenty more minutes left till the end of his torture. Flipping back to his pervious page, he tries to draw the image of Yoongi gazing out the sunlit windows, but instead of a scowl he gives him a faint smile.
For the rest of the period he works on his drawing, until the bell rings loudly throughout the school. The students around him jump up excitedly; gather together with their friends and race out the doors laughing. Gently, Jimin closes his notebook so not to smear his masterpiece and stacks his things inside his bag. If he takes enough time gathering his things he wouldn’t have to sit alone for too long at his next class waiting for it to start as the students around him chatted with each other.
He looks over to Yoongi’s desk with a sad expression, his things still open and laying across the top. The boy hadn’t come back into the class after well over the time it takes to go to the restroom and come back. Jimin was the last person from his class to leave the room so with an exhale he turns out the door.
Unfortunately for him and all his wanting to make as little human contact as possible between his classes, he bumps straight into a large junior causing his bag to dump to the floor, notebooks and pens skipping across the tile.
“Hey, watch where the fuck you’re going,” the burly junior hisses down at him, anger showing in his face.
Behind him one of his friends eyes Jimin knowingly, “hey isn’t this that little freshman that thinks he’s smart enough to be in upperclassman’s levels?” The friend smirks to the burly boy.
“Oh, is it, uh?” The muscular student looks Jimin up and down with disgust, “You think you’re special, huh?” Jimin shakes his head quickly and he could feel his face turning red in fear.
“I think the kid’s scared of you, hyung?” the friend chuckles out loudly.
“Am I scaring you, kid?” He grabs Jimin’s arm hard and pulls him closer to look at his face. Jimin braces himself as if the junior might lift up his other hand and send Jimin flying across the hallway.
“Oh, what’s this, huh?” Jimin is relieved when the boy drops his hands off Jimin’s side to look over at what his friend had found. Suddenly, Jimin notices that he had picked up his notebook and was flipping through the pages of doodles.
“Aw, the little freshman likes to draw flowers and butterflies!” The friend displays his findings to the group proudly. By then, a small collection of students had assembled around Jimin and the group and were whispering behind their hands and pointing.
Jimin can feel sweat running down his back and he stares in shock as the bullies point and laugh at his sketches, praying they wouldn’t find his drawings from today.
There was nothing Jimin could do as he watches in horror once the boy flips to his notes from yesterday, a page before his picture of Yoongi.
The bully shakes his ugly head at the appearance of actually school notes and moves to turn to the next page. Jimin thinks his heart might stop and everything looks and sounds as if it were in slow motion.
The student stops mid page turn when an annoyed voice pushes its why through the crowd standing beside the group.
“Hey, what’s this?” Yoongi strolls to a stop before them eyeing the entrance to the classroom, which they were blocking.
“Oh, Yoongi,” The bully flings the notebook to the ground in front of Jimin’s feet and Jimin bends over hurriedly to scope it up, securely clutching it to his chest.
Yoongi squints at the juniors in confusion “Get out of my way and stop being so loud, god. You’re giving me a headache,” he rubs his palm over his temple frustrated.
“Sorry, man. Come on guys let’s go,” The burly student gestures for his friends to follow him and sneering over at Jimin, they shuffle out of Yoongi’s way down the hall. The crowd that had gathered gives up on their hopes of a fight and walks away disappointed.
Jimin freezes when Yoongi’s eyes fall on his face. It is quite possibly the first time Yoongi had laid eyes on him. Yoongi raises a single eyebrow at Jimin and flicks his head to the right signaling for Jimin to move out of the door. Jimin jumps out of his way swiftly and Yoongi smirks.
“Wait here,” Yoongi tells him as he walks into the classroom to retrieve his stuff.
Unsure of what to do, Jimin stoops to pick up his belongs off the floor his heart beating wildly. Just as he stands up, throwing his backpack over his shoulder, Yoongi is back with his things in tow.
“Follow me, ok?” Yoongi commands him and Jimin nods, not wanting to say anything.
Yoongi moves swiftly down the corridor and turns the corner in the wrong direction from Jimin’s next class. Jimin thinks about calling this out to Yoongi but he could barely keep up with the boy as he pushes open a heavy door that Jimin had never seen before.
Once the two were inside, Yoongi flips the switch on the wall and Jimin looks around in bewilderment. The room was small and dimly lit. It looked like some sort of storage room for either the band or orchestra, Jimin guesses, because of the stacks of sheet music lining the walls. A lone piano was pushed up in a corner, taking up much of the space in the tiny room. Also, what looked like an older computer was sitting on a foldable table, notebooks and blank sheet music scattered around it.
Yoongi sighs and moves to organize the loose pieces of paper on top of the table.
“You can lay low here for the day. Those guys don’t know when to quit,” He clucks his tongue with hatred and grabs some sheet music and pushes it into his bag.
When Yoongi turns to leave, he stops and smirks at Jimin’s stunned appearance.
“What made them mess with you anyway?” he jokingly questions him.
Jimin simply quivers at the memory of the bully’s red angry face and Yoongi frowns.
Suddenly, he reaches out and takes Jimin’s notebook from his hands.
“Wait...” Jimin mumbles out soundlessly, but it was too late. The notebook falls open to his secret drawing of Yoongi. He could feel the shame raising in his stomach and he thinks he might be sick any second now.
He couldn’t bear to look at Yoongi’s reaction so he draws his eyes to stare holes into the floor.
“You’re talented,” was all Yoongi said before closing the notebook calmly and handing it back to Jimin’s dead body. He takes the book with weak fingers still not daring to look Yoongi in the eye.
“Stay as long as you want. I know it’s not like you need to go to class or anything,” and with that Yoongi slides out the door, leaving Jimin alone in his misery and wondering how Yoongi knew he was smart enough to not pay attention to his lectures.
*
Jimin sat in the chair in front of the computer for the next hour. Chances are no one in his class even knew he was skipping. Normally he would do something productive with his time alone, but his mind was too full of questions to think about doing anything. At this point, he regrets not looking to see Yoongi’s reaction to his drawing. Did he hate it? Did he hate Jimin? Did he even care about Jimin? Maybe he did care somewhat about him seeing as he let him hide out in what looks to be Yoongi’s secret getaway. Next to him on the desk, he had shuffled through countless pages of written and scratched out lyrics and pages of staff paper with little notes dotted along the lines.
Reading some of the lyrics, Jimin gained a new appreciation for Yoongi that he didn't know was possible since he was already infatuated with him. Many of the lyrics were good, really good, and Jimin found himself smiling along to the wittier lyrics and his eyes pricking with unshed tears at the sadder and more heartfelt words.
Jimin moves to pull out his notebook, hoping to write down some of his favorite lines to look back at them later, when he jumps and quickly tosses the lose pages into a messy pile when the door opens behind him.
The light from the hallway blinds his eyes for a second until he can make out the shape of Yoongi against the door. He closes the door loudly behind him and smirks at Jimin’s surprised face.
“Is your face always like that,” he points to Jimin’s open mouth and wide eyes while taking a bite out of the apple in his hand. Jimin’s face falls and he shakes his head no.
“I guess you don’t talk either, huh?” Yoongi rustles through the side pocket of his bag and takes out a large orange, “This was all I was able to grab from the cafeteria. It’s not a five star meal or anything,” he tosses the orange to Jimin who catches it in the air with both hands.
“Thanks,” he murmurs quietly.
“So he does talk,” Yoongi’s mouth twists into a smug grin.
“And thanks for earlier, too,” Jimin is able to force out as Yoongi just waves his thanks away.
Suddenly, Yoongi’s eyes fall on the disorderly pile of music sheets on his desk and he turns to Jimin accusingly.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to look through your stuff, really, it was just there and…” he knew he was rambling and he hated himself for it.
Groaning, Yoongi leans down to sit cross-legged on the floor by Jimin’s feet, leaning his back against the wall. He pushes his bag into his lap and takes out yet more crumbled pages filled with his small handwriting.
“You might as well look at these too since you already violated my privacy,” he stick the pages into the air before Jimin who refused to take them.
“It’s ok,” he timidly tells him. When Yoongi doesn’t take the pages back he reaches out further and sets them in Jimin’s lap and pats the top of the stack gently.
“They're not any good anyway,” he rests back against the wall again this time closing his eyes as if he were going to take a nap.
Just looking at Yoongi, eyes closed, stretched out peacefully, had Jimin’s insides turning.
Spinning away, Jimin starts to peel off the skin of his orange and sets it quietly on top of his notebook, careful not to make too much noise and bother Yoongi’s resting.
Once Jimin gained enough courage he glances down and Yoongi and sees that he was eyeing him strangely.
“Have you always drawn pictures,” Jimin coughs on a piece of his lunch at Yoongi’s question. His love of drawing just brought back memories of how Yoongi had seen one of the drawings he wanted no one to see, much less the person it was of.
He realizes that Yoongi was still looking at him curiously so he had no choice but to answer, “Yeah, I enjoy it.”
“Do you have any more? Drawings, I mean,” The way he said it made it seem like it was no big deal. Yeah, Jimin draws and sometimes, occasionally, he sketches pictures of strangers without their consent, no biggie.
“Yeah.”
“Can I see them? You did read all my lyrics, right? Makes since that I get to be entertained by your drawings?” Jimin’s face blushes red at Yoongi’s sarcasm. Carefully, he swipes the orange peels off his notebook. He had already seen the worst of it, Jimin thinks. His shame was already broken. With trembling hands, Jimin passes Yoongi the notebook.
Yoongi takes it with a grin and flips to the first page. Jimin watches him intently not wanting to miss even one face twitch of his reaction to he art. He flicks through a couple of pages of actual problems until he gets to a full-page picture that makes him laugh. It was a comical portrait of their math teacher stumbling through his lesson once again only to trip and scatter pieces of paper all over the floor in front of him. Yoongi’s laughing face brings a smile to Jimin’s lips.
“Christ, I remember when this happened,” He looks up to him with sparkling eyes and Jimin thinks he might just melt into the floor then and there.
Flipping the pages, Yoongi finds many drawings that made Jimin proud of himself. One was of the large tree outside the school swaying in the wind. Another of the rain dropping down the surface of the classroom window that he drew one stormy afternoon.
Finally, Yoongi turns to the drawing of himself and he pauses staring down at it. He moves his finger down the side of the page tracing the margin where Jimin had written his name over and over again in different styles and fonts.
Jimin feels he body grow colder as Yoongi shows no reaction whatsoever.
“Do you take art classes?” he asks him suddenly which surprises Jimin.
“No,” he feels Yoongi’s eyes on him, “I don’t have time with all the classes I’m already taking…” Jimin didn’t like to think about it. Ever since his parent had found out that he was extremely smart, they had signed him up for all the advanced placement test and spent hundreds of dollars on the best tutors in the city. They wanted him to be a doctor or a businessman, or hell even president, they told him if he worked hard enough. But day in and day out, all Jimin could think about was drawing and it kept him grounded. When the world seemed to be moving to quickly around him, he would simple pick up his pencil and draw. But he can’t tell Yoongi this. He’d probably just call him a child like everyone else and tell him that he would grow out of it eventually.
Yoongi watches Jimin throughout his internal monologue strangely. Almost as if he could read his mind. Almost as if he understood.
Yoongi closes the notebook and hands it back to him, “Can I see more sometime?”
All Jimin can do is nod happily. Never believing that Min Yoongi would be interested in his art.
*
The next day it was storming outside and Jimin trudges his way through the rain to school, smiling the whole way. Last night he had raided his stack of sketchbooks, and picking two of his favorites, he stuck them cheerfully into his bag. Now he was clutching his bag to his chest underneath his raincoat, praying that it would be enough to keep them dry and safe.
Finding his seat in math class, Jimin strips his wet coat off and stuffs it under his chair. He makes a point of flipping through the pages of his sketchbooks gently, still inside of his bag, and found them unharmed.
When class starts, he gazes at Yoongi sitting across the room and his face breaks out in a smile at the sight of Yoongi gazing back at him. Yoongi glances back and forth between the teacher at the front of the room and Jimin, all while balancing his pen above his open notes dramatically. Jimin giggles at Yoongi’s actions but gets the memo and at least pretends, for Yoongi’s sake, that he was listening to the lecture.
Eventually, he grows bored of the concepts that he already understood being explained over and over again. Unconsciously, his eyes drift to Yoongi’s side of the room and find him with his arm out stretched on the desk, head lying on his forearm, and his face turned towards the rain sliding down the window outside.
Jimin couldn’t help himself as he turns to a blank page in his notes. Grinning, he sets to drawing Yoongi’s sleeping form with the droplets of water streaking down the glass and the dark clouds billowing in the sky.
*
Jimin breaths heavily in front of the door to the storage closet. What if he wasn’t in there? Well, I’ll just wait for him them, Jimin thinks, hoping that the idea wasn’t too much like the ideas of a stalker. Jimin thinks his legs might have given out below him when he pushes open the door and finds Yoongi hunched over the table humming to himself quietly.
Once Jimin walks in through the door shutting it behind him, Yoongi swiftly spins around. Seeing Jimin, Yoongi smiles widely then just as quickly lets his face fall into a smirk.
“Are you taking my secret place now, too?” he asks him slyly.
“No! I wouldn’t do that,” Jimin didn’t like the way he said it too rapidly like he was trying to defend himself for doing something bad when really he had just walked into the room.
“I was only joking,” Yoongi laughs joyously, sending Jimin’s heart fluttering in his chest.
“What’s up?” Yoongi eyes him up and down like he was looking for bruises or broken bones, “Those dumbasses mess with you again?”
Jimin pulls the drawstring on his bag and takes out his sketchbooks.
He hands them to Yoongi, “You wanted to see more of my drawings,” he explains.
“Yeah, I did,” Yoongi says it kindly as he takes the books, opening the first one carefully.
“Jimin, you’re really good, you know,” at the sound of his name from Yoongi’s lips Jimin’s whole body shakes with glee.
Before he can stop himself, he beams at Yoongi, “You know my name?”
Yoongi’s face falls a second time at Jimin’s outburst, almost as if the question saddens him somehow, “Of course, we have a class together.”
He says it like there was not argument needed, but Jimin’s stupid tongue gets the better of him, “Really?” he raises his brow teasingly, “Name one other person in that class?”
Yoongi frowns and rolls his eyes, trying to buy time as he racks his brain for the answer, “There’s a girl Ma…no….Mae…whatever it doesn’t matter how I know your name I just do, ok?”
Maybe Jimin’s mind was playing tricks on him, but it looks like Yoongi’s face was turning a deep shade of pink.
Once, Yoongi had seen all the pictures in his sketchbook, Jimin jumps with a gasp and rumbles through his bag for his class notebook.
“Oh, I almost forgot. I drew this one today,” he slides the drawing over to Yoongi shyly, waiting for his reaction.
When he sees the drawing a small smile glows on his face, “Can I keep this one?” he gives Jimin a cute grin.
Jimin can’t possible say no to Yoongi’s expression so he nods gladly.
After a moment, Yoongi searches through the papers in front of him and hands one to Jimin, “Here I wanted to show you this.”
The thought that Yoongi wanted to give something to him almost brought tears to his eyes.
Reading the lyrics on the page, Jimin’s insides filled with warmth. They talked about an unrequited love just out of the person’s reach. How they feel like they can only watch the others life from afar and never be a part of it. How he wishes that the person he loves would just say his name once then he feels he can die happily.
“I like it,” Jimin grins over at Yoongi’s restless face.
“Really? It’s not too cheesy?” Jimin simple shakes his head to assure him.
Yoongi sighs, content, “Good.”
Suddenly the bell rings muffled in the hallway outside. When Yoongi doesn’t make a move to stand, Jimin shuffles his bag onto his shoulder, “I should go…” he trails off pointing towards the door.
Yoongi turns to him questioningly, “Do you have to go?” Jimin knew he meant simply because Jimin was able to fully understand the material without attending class, but he liked to think that Yoongi wanted Jimin to stay with him.
“I guess not,” he replies while dropping his bag back down on the floor.
“Great,” Yoongi beams, “Then you can help me with this line,” he moves to hand the paper to Jimin on the floor, but thinks better of it and gets up to sit close to Jimin’s side on the ground, their knees touching.
“This one here,” he points to the line and leans near into Jimin’s shoulder. Jimin’s face flushes at Yoongi’s close proximity. He could practically feel his breath brush across his cheek lightly.
Glancing down at the line, he tries to concentrate, even though the sound of Yoongi breathing in his ear was sending shockwaves down his spin.
“What if you change this word to ‘happiness’ then it would rhyme with ‘madness’ in the next line?”
Yoongi ahs at Jimin’s suggestion and happily changes the word on the page. For some time, Yoongi stares at the sheet while tapping out a beat on his knee. It takes every ounce of Jimin’s being not to lean forward and brush his lips on Yoongi’s cheek. Yoongi’s skin looks so soft to the touch this close-up and Jimin wonders how his mouth would feel pressed against it.
Shaking his head of the thought, Jimin pulls out his notebook, opens to a blank page and starts a rough sketch of the old piano in the corner of the room. He doesn’t even notice that Yoongi had stopped humming softly next to him or that he was gazing down at Jimin’s hand as it moved expertly across the page.
It was only when, Yoongi moves his chin to rest on Jimin’s shoulder in the hopes of getting a better view of the drawing, that Jimin stiffens abruptly, causing his pencil to draw across the page jaggedly.
“Jimin,” Yoongi’s sleepy breath in his ear makes his body stiffen even more.
“You….” His voice was becoming more incoherent as sleep overtook him, “you’re an idiot.”
Jimin turns to see Yoongi fast asleep his head resting on Jimin’s shoulder. His mouth was so close to Yoongi’s forehead that he mentally wills himself not to make any rash actions that he would regret. Why did his hair feel so soft tickling Jimin’s neck? Why did his deep breaths seem to take away Jimin’s breath? The only answer Jimin did know was that he would give anything to hear Yoongi say his name again.
*
The next day, Yoongi wasn’t in math class. Jimin’s heart sank in his chest when he arrived to find Yoongi’s desk empty. Slumping into his seat, he prepares himself for a long boring hour of class. Maybe he’d actually pay attention today. At least that would take his mind off the feeling that pulls down at his chest at the fact that Yoongi was nowhere in sight.
Luckily, the lecture wasn’t unbearably boring and once the bell rang signaling the end of class, for the first time Jimin was happy to make his way out of the airless classroom. He could go to Yoongi’s room and spend his lunch break in there, he thinks to himself. But even when Yoongi was at school he felt like he was intruding on someone else’s territory whenever he was in that room.
So instead, Jimin turns in the opposite direction outside into the large quad area at the center of the school. The crisp air hits his skin as he walks past small groups of students laughing and eating together. Wrapping his jacket closer against the cool air, He finds an unoccupied bench underneath the school’s large tree.
Above his head, the leaves hang down lazily on the branches, tossing in the slight wind. Jimin marvels at the changing colors of the tree all yellows and oranges and greens. Smiling to himself, he digs his notebook out of his bag and balances it open on his knees. For a second he frowns at the fact that he has no coloring pencils to truly capture the beauty of the leaves. Glazing up at the branches above him, he starts on a rough sketch of the tree against the white sky, figuring that he could color the drawing later.
He as very pleased with his work so far and the thought crosses his mind that it might be something that Yoongi would want to see, when loudly his notebook is ripped out of his lap by a set of large, sweaty hand.
“Hey look at what our little artist drew today,” the voice of the hands says in a mocking tone.
As Jimin looks up he sees the bullies from the other day standing in front of him, crazy smirks on their faces. The friends oh and ah at his drawing sarcastically.
“Ah, its to bad that his mom forgot to pack him his coloring books today,” One of the friends jokes badly as the other roars with an evil laugh.
This time, Jimin didn’t want the losers to mess with him without speaking up for himself. He reaches out to take his notebook back from the bully, but the student just twists it out of his grasp.
“Hey, give it back,” Jimin mumbles out not sounding intimating in the least. The bullies just continue to laugh, as Jimin’s face grows redder in anger.
“Aw, is it that precious to you,” The larger boy sticks out his bottom lip in a pout but just ends up looking like a bloated blowfish. Jimin glares at the bullies face, praying that they would just leave him alone.
“So how would you feel if I did this,” the bully holds up the notebook in two hands positioning it between his fingers in a way that if he moves one hand down the notebook would rip in half, destroying all of Jimin’s notes and drawings.
Jimin’s eyes go wide as he watches in horror as the bully moves his hands producing a small rip that grows larger the more his pulls at the notebook. If Jimin had any courage he would have jumped up and tackled the bully to the ground, but all he could do was watch as all his hard work was being ripped in two.
He could feel tears pricking at the backs of he eyes. What was he going to show Yoongi now, he thinks. Suddenly, the bully stops, having ripped the notebook in two to the middle of the page, when behind him someone pushes between him and his friend. The bully stumbles to the side, startled when the person moves to stand in front of Jimin facing him.
Jimin watches as the bully’s smile leaves his face as he looks in Yoongi’s eyes. Jimin leans over to peer around Yoongi’s back as the bully drops the ruined notebook to the ground.
Yoongi tsks and bends to pick up the notebook, “Hey, you know littering is bad right,” the bullies just shyly stare at their feet, “and why are you crowding up my bench.”
One of the bullies eyes Yoongi questioningly, “Your bench? I’ve never seen you out here before,” he whispers under his breath until his friend punches him in the stomach with his elbow.
“Sorry, Yoongi it won’t happen again,” at that the larger boy grabs his friend’s arm and drags him away, their heads bowed closely towards one another in shame.
Jimin slumps on the bench tiredly, glad to be rid of those losers. Yoongi turns and stares at his state and shakes his head.
“Christ, do I have to save you every time some thing goes bad in your life?” he smirks at Jimin’s red face and then frowns, “Oh, here’s your notebook,” he kindly holds out the ripped notebook and Jimin slowly takes it from his hands.
“Thanks,” he mutters sadly while gently resting the ruined pages in his lap. He could feel the tears that prickled his eyes earlier start to drawn silently down his cheek.
Next to him, Yoongi sits down on the bench leaning his arms on his knees and stares at Jimin’s tear stained face, “Hey, stop crying, ok? Don’t think about it too hard.”
Yoongi’s glances down at Jimin’s notebook where his salty tears were staining the crumbled pages. He frowns heavily and moves he hand to wipe at the tears on Jimin’s face, “Stop fucking crying, ok? You're making it worse,” his fingers brushing at Jimin’s wet face.
Jimin’s whole body felt warm at Yoongi’s touch and he lifts his hand to help Yoongi rub the tears off his skin, “Sorry, it just makes me so anger,” he clinches his hands into fist and the sight of Yoongi’s kind eyes wrecks him.
“Well, next time punch the assholes in the face, trust me it’s therapeutic,” Jimin didn’t want to know how Yoongi knew that, but the look Yoongi gives him makes Jimin smile weakly.
“Good,” Yoongi nods and inclines into the bench, bending his head back and crossing his arms, he closes his eyes to the sun, “Now shut up so I can get some sleep.”
*
“Jimin?”
“Huh?” Jimin glances up from his place on the floor where he was writing out a quick essay for English class, willing himself to get through just one more paragraph then he would be free to draw.
Yoongi gazes down at him from his chair at the table with a smug look, “You weren’t listening to me,” Jimin’s face blushes in embarrassment.
“I asked if you were going home soon,” Yoongi looks away from him back to his work.
“Home?” Jimin mumbles confused until he looks at the time and sees that it is well past the end of the school day. Jolting up with a start, he closes his books hurriedly and stuffs them in his bag. Yoongi eyes him perplexed at Jimin’s flustered state.
Jimin frowns at him shyly, “I have tutoring soon. I’m sorry, I have to go,” he turns to the door quickly, angry with himself for letting the time go by him. What will his parents say if he shows up to his session late?
“Wait,” Yoongi calls out to him as he stands up as well, grabbing at his things, “I’ll go with you,” his smile makes Jimin flush deeper. He couldn’t say no to Yoongi’s offer. Plus it meant more time with Yoongi, which Jimin always prayed for. It was like all Jimin could think of when he wasn’t around Yoongi was how much he wished Yoongi was right beside him.
“Ok,” Jimin holds open the door as Yoongi follows him out the school into the cold air.
“Christ, it’s too cold,” Yoongi exclaims wrapping his jacket close to his body. Jimin simply laughs at his pouting face. The wind brushes Yoongi’s hair off his forehead revealing his skin to the cold. He glances away quickly when thoughts of Yoongi’s soft skin swims through his mind again.
They walk in silence for a couple of blocks, Jimin watching the world around his stir in the wind. He always had loved the way everything around him danced in the air when it was windy. He couldn’t explain the feeling he felt when the clouds ran fast across the sky and the grass bent low to the ground, but for some weird reason it brought him a kind of peace.
Next to him Yoongi shivers visibly and Jimin grins. It was like Yoongi was a part of the world around him moving softly in the breeze. But for some reason Yoongi seemed more really. Maybe it was because if he reaches out and touches Yoongi he would react back, unlike other things in his life that he had no power over. Jimin hopes that if he did one day move closer to Yoongi’s side, that Yoongi would in turn move closer to his own.
Suddenly the turn to Jimin’s street comes upon them and Jimin takes the turn with Yoongi on his heels. Jimin glances back at him questioningly, “Do you live down this street too.”
Yoongi squints at him for a second until he drops his arms at his side almost as if he was disappointed in something, “I live close by,” he tells him glancing sadly to the houses lining the street to their right.
“Oh,” Jimin nods at Yoongi wondering if he had said something wrong to make Yoongi angry with him.
Finally, they reach Jimin’s front steps checking his watch he sees that he made it just in time for the start of his tutoring session. He spins to look at Yoongi and smiles faintly, “This is me. Thanks for walking with me,” Jimin tells him quickly.
“You know for a genius you’re actually really dumb, you know that?” Yoongi sets his hands in his pocket and glares at him mockingly. Jimin doesn’t have time to defend himself when Yoongi waves goodbye to him turning to walk away in the direction they had come from. Jimin stares at Yoongi’s back growing smaller in the distant until he knows he will be punished for being late. He shuffles up the steps and opens his door letting the warmth of his entranceway heat up his cold body.
*
Jimin walks into the classroom rubbing at his tired eyes. Last night he had come home late and paid the consequences by having to study for twice the amount of time that his parents forced him to every night. He had gone to bed spent and angry. Angry at his parents, angry at his stupid brain. Maybe Yoongi was right. Maybe he was actually an idiot. That would explain why he did nothing to change his horrible life.
To make things worst, Yoongi wasn’t in class again that day. The pit in Jimin’s stomach just grew wider when he saw Yoongi’s empty desk against the window. He sat down in his chair and proceeded to rest his head on the hard surface of the table.
God, this was just great. Nothing could bring Jimin out of his slump. He felt nothing at the idea of drawing his worries away. Usually when he thought of drawing his heart would soar with newfound strength, but nothing moved in his chest but hopelessness.
All he could think about was Yoongi and what Yoongi had said to him the other day on the steps of his house. Why was Yoongi always calling him dumb? No one had ever called Jimin dumb in his life. Everyone he ever met was always congratulating him for his smarts, telling his parents how proud they must be to have an intelligent, well-behaved, good-looking young man for a son. How he was destined for great things. And Jimin hated it.
What if Jimin didn’t want to be destine for greatness. What if he just wanted to be normal? What if he just wanted to be Jimin? Just dumb old Jimin who likes to draw and watch trees blow in the wind and finds peace in the sound of the rain beating against the window.
Jimin clutches his hands into fists and digs them into the desk below him. He didn’t want to live his life this way anymore. But his hopes die in his chest when he realizes that he doesn’t know where to start to change his existence into what he wants to be.
A million thoughts ran through his head when suddenly he lifts his head up shooting his hand in the air above him. The teacher grins widely in Jimin’s direction and nods at him.
“Can I go to the bathroom?” Jimin asks hurriedly as he watches the teacher’s face fall into a frown. His hopes lost that his best student would be interested in his lecture. He waves Jimin out the door into the hallway.
Quickly, Jimin rushes to the storage room door and stands before it confidently. Well if Jimin really was the idiot then he’d show Yoongi how much of an idiot he was. He grabs at the door and flings it open, ready to corner Yoongi. It occurs to Jimin that he had clue how to explain himself to Yoongi. Something along the lines of I’ve always been infatuated with you, even before you started talking to me, even before you noticed who I was. Maybe not throw in the fact that he wonders what Yoongi’s skin would feel like underneath his fingertips.
Jimin lets out a deep breath as he glances around the room. It was empty besides for a disorganized stack of sheet music on the table. Jimin closes the door behind him disappointed but also slightly relieved.
He sits down in the chair and notices that some of Yoongi’s schoolbooks were pushed up against the wall on the floor. The thought that Yoongi was even at school today makes Jimin shake with nerves. So he’d have to confront Yoongi with his feelings sometime today. But for now, he thinks he might lay low for a while; maybe collect his thought so that he didn’t say anything that he would regret later.
Bending down to the ground, he pulls at Yoongi’s schoolbooks curiously. Why would he just leave these here, Jimin wonders? Most of the time, Yoongi only left scatters of his lyrics around, never his more expensive belongs.
Unexpectedly, when Jimin grabs at one of the textbooks a small slip of paper, slides out and flutters to the floor by his feet. Curiously, he picks it up and stares down at the lines written out on the page. Half of the page was worked out math problems, probably written during a lecture. The other half was mostly Yoongi’s usual scratched out and reworded lines of lyrics, but something catches Jimin’s eyes when he glances at the top of the notes.
The page was dated at the beginning of the year around the time when Jimin had been first enrolled in upperclassmen classes. The date was maybe a week after the teacher had introduced him to the class. Jimin still remembers his classmate’s scornful looks when the teacher proudly told the class that he had tested into advanced levels as only a freshman.
Scanning the margins of Yoongi’s notes, he heart stops beating in his chest when he sees his name written over and over again down the edge of the page all in different styles. Almost as if Yoongi was trying to save the feel and look of his name in his memory. Just like how Jimin wrote Yoongi’s name like they were the most precious words in the world.
Dropping the page to the floor, Jimin’s heart races in his chest. He hurries out of the room into the hallway and shuffles back to class dropping into his chair. He could feel the sweat rising on his neck and he pencil was slippery in his wet hands. What did this mean? What was Jimin suppose to tell Yoongi now that he knew Yoongi must feel something for him? If he didn’t care about Jimin, then why was Jimin’s name so lovingly written down the side of Yoongi’s notes?
Jimin wrestles with his thoughts the rest of the hour until the class period ends with Jimin feeling more confused than ever. Slowly, Jimin walks out of the classroom. The noises of the students chatting and laughing sound distance to his ears. Almost as if he was hearing the things around him muffled through the walls.
When Jimin turns the corner his heart races in his chest, when he sees Yoongi’s back as he stops in front of the storage room. Jimin watches him as he sighs and pushes the door open. At the sight of Yoongi, Jimin breaks down. If he truly wanted to live his own life he realizes that there’s only one thing he can do. So what if Yoongi shrugs his confession off just like so many people in Jimin’s life had shrugged him off as just that one smart kid that didn’t talk to anyone. Just like his parents had used him his whole life, parading him to all their friends as the image of the perfect son.
No, Jimin thinks, he doesn’t want to be perfect anymore. He wants to be reckless and irresponsible. To scream to the world how he really feels inside and maybe, just maybe, the world would react back to him. Maybe he can change the world around him once and for all.
Taking a deep breath, he decides that it’s now or never.
“Yoongi!” Jimin watches as Yoongi stiffens at the sound of his voice, his hand still poised on the handle of the storage room door. Yoongi doesn’t turn to look in his direction as Jimin walks up to his side.
“Yoongi, there’s something I need to tell you,” Jimin was so focused on not forgetting to breath and not stumbling on his words that he misses the small smile that lights up Yoongi’s face.
Jimin glances up and down the hallway nervously. Pushing the door open, he grabs Yoongi’s arm and drags him into the storage room his whole body feeling like it might float away any minute now.
The room was darker then the sunlit hallway and it takes a while for Jimin’s eyes to adjust to the lighting. But when he was finally able to see Yoongi, he stares at Yoongi’s glowing face confused.
“What?” Jimin questions him slightly angry that Yoongi had interrupted his train of thought when he was at such a crucial part of his little speech.
“Jimin,” Yoongi’s eyes sparkle brightly, “That’s the first time you’ve said my name.”
“Really?” Jimin mentally racks his brain for a time when he had said Yoongi’s name and couldn’t find one.
“Yeah…” Yoongi’s eyes search Jimin’s face slowly as he takes a step closer. Jimin’s back hits the solid surface of the door behind him. The cold of the wood sends a shiver down his back.
All the words that Jimin had prepared himself to say left his lips when Yoongi’s hand reaches up to touch his cheek lightly.
“Jimin?” he stares straight into Yoongi’s glistening eyes so close to his own.
“Yeah?”
“Maybe you’re not as stupid as I thought you were,” and with that Yoongi leans forward closing the distance between the two of them by pressing his lips to Jimin’s tenderly. Every nerve in Jimin’s body feel like it is on fire at the feel of Yoongi’s mouth against his own.
Nervously, he lifts his hand up to feel the skin of Yoongi’s face underneath his fingertips. Surprising, it was much softer than Jimin imagined it would be. He moves his lips on Yoongi’s timidly. Now this was reckless, Jimin thinks to himself happily. This was the kind of experience he wants in his new life. For a fleeting moment Jimin hopes that Yoongi would be a part of his new life. But suddenly Jimin realizes that he already was.
“Yoongi…” Yoongi shivers at the sound of his name whispered from Jimin’s lips. Yoongi pulls away from the kiss as if he needs a moment to process the way Jimin says his name.
Carelessly, Jimin doesn’t give him a second more to think and presses his mouth back onto Yoongi’s, this time frantically as if he were holding onto Yoongi with his life. Yoongi gasps quietly into Jimin’s mouth at the suddenness of it all causing Jimin to smile into the kiss.
Jimin clutches at his jacket and pulls them closer together, willing Yoongi to open his mouth just slightly. Happily, Yoongi’s tongue moves against Jimin’s bottom lip making his pulse rise in his fingertips.
Without thinking, Jimin pushes his tongue into Yoongi’s mouth causing Yoongi to let out a soft breath into Jimin’s open lips. He wonders why he was ever nervous about being around Yoongi, when having him this close made him feel this way. Jimin mentally adds kissing Yoongi to his list of favorite things in the world as he searches Yoongi’s mouth with his tongue, drawing a line across the back of his teeth and licking at the roof of his mouth. Yoongi in turn pushes his tongue against Jimin’s lips wetly.
When Jimin moans unconsciously, Yoongi pulls his tongue back into his mouth and closes it against Jimin’s frowning lips. He backs away from him slowly leaving Jimin to wonder if he did anything wrong again.
“What’s wrong?” Jimin whispers gently searching Yoongi’s features.
Yoongi simply shakes his head and smirks, “Not to fast, kid. You won’t get me that easily.”
At Yoongi’s words Jimin blushes a deep red, “I wasn’t trying to, I mean, that’s not what…”
Yoongi laughs loudly at Jimin’s stuttering and pulls his hand into his own.
“How did you find out,” Yoongi’s cheeks turn pink as he gives Jimin a warm glance.
“Your notes. You wrote my name like I write yours,” Jimin mumbles.
“Yeah, that’s really dumb, isn’t it? God, I shouldn’t leave my thing lying around anymore,” he chuckles.
“So, you like me,” Jimin lets the words fall off his tongue slowly.
“God Jimin, you’re so dense. Yes, I like you. Why would I put up with your ass anyways, huh? And save you from those idiot bullies and walk you home?” Yoongi’s voice rises after each confession.
Suddenly, all the pieces fell into place in Jimin’s brain. God, he really was stupid not to notice it before this. Shame fills Jimin and he looks away from Yoongi’s accusing face.
“Look, Jimin. I like you. I like you a lot. And you may be an idiot, but I don’t care because that’s what I like about you,” his words fill Jimin’s heart with warmth.
“Yeah?” he smiles weakly at him.
“Yeah. Now don’t go forgetting my name anytime soon, ok?” Yoongi sighs.
“Yoongi?” Jimin beams when Yoongi’s eyes grow wide at the sound of his name.
“What?” he sounds frustrated with himself for reacting so visibly to Jimin’s voice.
“Nothing,” Jimin laughs loudly as Yoongi raises his hand to punch him in the shoulder crossly. This was just the life Jimin wanted, he thinks to himself. Laughing without a care in the world about what others think of him. Secretly kissing Yoongi in a dimly light closet. Just the thought of how his parents would react makes Jimin feel giddy. Suddenly, he felt like running wild and fast towards what he wanted without a glance behind him.
Jimin reaches out and pulls Yoongi into a hug, wrapping his arms lovingly around his waist. He can feel Yoongi sighing deeply at his touch as he holds Jimin tightly to his chest.
“Yoongi. This is just what I wanted,” Jimin smiles into Yoongi’s shoulder excitedly. For Jimin his new life was ready to explore with all its adventures and prospects. And he was ready to face it head on. Never looking back. And with Yoongi at his side to experience every new feeling the world had to offer him.