Archive of Our Own

“Hello Mr. Jeong, can you please come?”

Jaehyun took a deep breath and tried to calm his mind down, he has gotten this type of call countless amount of times and he knows what this is  about,

“Yes I will be there as soon as possible.”

He put the phone down, and just stared at it for a few seconds before finally lifting his eyes up from the phone. 

“Was that the school?”

Asked Johnny his friend and boss, he has seen this happening many times by now so he also knows what this is about.

“Yes” , Jaehyun replied simply as he pocketed his phone and picked up his jacket from the chair he was sitting on. 

“Take my car, it will be faster to get there.”

Johnny threw the keys in his direction. 

“Thank you Johnny,” said Jaehyun as he walked out of the door. 

Jeong Jaehyun, twenty five years old, a law school graduate, working in a small library owned by his best friend. 

Why was he working in a library if he was a law school graduate?

Well that’s because being a lawyer was a demanding job, that made you busy and didn’t give you enough time to spend with someone precious who meant the whole world to you.

And to Jaehyun that person was his son. 

Little seven year old Donghyuck. 

His entire world and life, his happiness and his reason for living. 

Jaehyun left his life as a lawyer a little over a year ago now, because if he was to remain as a lawyer he would not always be available for his son. 

For example, like now. Just like how he left work to go to Donghyuck’s school and pick him up because he was feeling sick. 

This was a recurring incident, at least twice a week he would get a call from school saying his son was sick, crying, or was just sad and couldn’t stay at school, and with the school knowing their situation they tried their best to be helpful but help could be offered so much, eventually he was sure that the school would stop being so understanding, but that would be for then to worry about. 

Now he had to get to his son and take him to the library until his shift finished. 

After twenty minutes of driving he finally got there. 

He walked past the playground and all the classrooms until he got to Mrs. Kim’s room and knocked on the door. 

“Come in.” He heard the woman say. 

He walked in to see his son sitting on the couch, head low and hands clutching his favorite toy tight and backpack on his shoulders. 

“Hey little guy, ready to go home with me.”

At the sound of his voice, his son looked up and gave him the smallest smile and nodded. 

It hurt his heart to see his son like that. 

“Actually Mr. Jeong can we talk before you go,” said Mrs. Kim as she stood up from her desk and crouched down to Donghyuck’s level “Donghyuck why don’t you go and play in the playground so me and your dad can have a word together.”

Donghyuck looked up to his dad clearly looking for confirmation, to which Jaehyun responded with a smile and a nod saying “Go out and wait for me, okay little guy?”

To which he was awarded with another small smile and his son was gone to the playground. 

Mrs. Kim gestured for him to sit where his son was sitting just a few moments ago, and he took his place on the couch. 

“ I understand that you’re in a tough situation right now and I can’t imagine how hard it is for little Donghyuck to fully understand what has happened in the last year, but I’m sorry to tell you that we can’t keep doing this. He can’t keep going home and missing classes. I’m afraid that the school administration won’t be so understanding anymore.”

Jaehyun knew this day was coming. He knew he would hear these things coming from his son's  teacher, but still it was disheartening to hear it. 

But he understood, he needed to do better as a father and talk to his son and let him know that he couldn’t be leaving school in the middle of the day anymore. He doesn’t know how he would approach that topic but he needed to, he would maybe ask for help from Johnny if needed to. 

“I understand, thank you for always offering help and for being there for Donghyuck when he’s in school. I will try and talk to him about it the best way I can.”

Mrs. Kim, a teacher in her fifties, looked at him with kind eyes and stood up from her desk to walk around and sit next to him on the couch.

“You don’t have to do this alone dear, I can help you. You can take little Donghyuck to a child therapist. It’s very normal for you not to be able to juggle through all of these emotions. It’s been a hard year for the both of you. I can give you the names of several good friends of mine that can help you both get through this.”

Child therapist . 

Has Jaehyun failed so miserably at raising his child that it would get to the point of therapy?

He knows that it’s been hard, but this was a bit too much, he wasn’t a failure of a dad! Yes he had his shortcomings but he always tried his best to be there for his son after the loss of his mother over a year ago.

He also suffered, but he had to do it in silence, he couldn’t let his son know of the endless nights of crying and staying up. 

Or of the breakdowns he had. 

No , he would show Donghyuck a smile to let him know that everything would be fine for the two of them. 

He wanted to be the one his son turned to when in need of emotional support, not a stranger, no he wouldn’t do that, he would be the one who did everything for his son. But he couldn’t say that to Mrs. Kim because she was trying to help,

“Thank you Mrs. Kim, I will consider your offer and let you know if I decide to do that. Now if you would excuse me I need to get back to work.”

With a polite bow of his head he said his goodbyes and left the room to go and get his son. 

Once he got to the playground, he saw Donghyuck on the swings sitting silently and looking at a point distantly. 

His heart aches seeing his son like that, his bubbly son who always smiled and laughed at everything. Who never sat down at the table to eat, always running around the house and coming to get a few bites. His son who he had to always chase around in parks because sitting around and doing nothing is boring. 

Maybe the loss of his mom really did affect him and Jaehyun hadn’t noticed, but now he had to do better. 

He had to be there for his son every step of the way. 

Just as he was about to walk to his son, Donghyuck noticed him and got off the swing walking towards him. 

Jaehyun met him half way and held his little hands in his own. 

“How was school today sunshine?”

“It was good.”

Jaehyun wanted to ask him, then why did you want to go home? Why did you have your teacher call me over?

But didn’t have the heart to do so, he just held his hand tighter and started walking to Johnny’s car. 

The drive back to the library was a quiet one, with Donghyuck looking out the window and not saying anything and Jaehyun lost in his thoughts. 

Soon they were at the library, and Jaehyun was getting out of the car. 

“Come on little guy, we don’t have much time left. Only two hours and then we will go home. You can go and play in Johnny's room until I finish okay?”

“Yes dad.”

And that was it, once they went in Donghyuck found his way to Johnny’s room and Jaehyun went back to work.

These days Jaehyun only got short answers from his son, he never got anything more.

Only okay dad, yes dad, no dad, I’m fine dad, I will go to sleep dad. 

No bubbly conversations with him, no coming home and talking about his day at school or about his adventures in the playground with his friends. No he wasn’t doing any of those things. Maybe a major part of it was because he never really finished a full day in school, always coming home earlier. 

It wasn’t like that in the beginning, sure the first few months were very difficult for the both of them. But they were surrounded by family. Jaehyun’s mom was always there. If not, they would go to his parents. Back then Donghyuck would go to him and hug him, tell him about how school was or even talk about how he missed his mom or how he wished that she was still with them. But slowly those had stopped and the hugs had also stopped. Jaehyun doesn’t know why but a part of him blames it all on himself but he doesn’t know what were the events that lead up to his son distancing himself from him. 

He was left to his own devices to try and figure that out, he just hoped that he wasn’t too late to do that. 

He was busy arranging the new books in their appropriate sections when he heard Johnny speaking to him,

“Oh you’re back!”

“Yeah, got back like twenty minutes ago or so.”

“How did it go this time?”

He put down the books in his hands and slumped his shoulders forward, and let out a big sigh he didn’t even know he was holding in. But this was Johnny, he could talk with Johnny,

“Mrs. Kim told me I could take him to a child therapist to help him with his emotions.”

Johnny didn’t say anything, letting him go on,

“But I don’t want to.”

He was again met with silence, so he looked up from his hands to Johnny, to see him looking directly at Jaehyun.

“And why is that?” Johnny asked him. 

Because it makes me feel like a failure of a dad!

But he didn’t say that, he didn’t need his friend to know that he feels like he has let his son down, that was only for him to know.

“I don’t know.”

Johnny, always being the understanding friend who never pushed anyone into something they didn’t want to say or do, put a hand on his shoulder and squeezed, letting him know that he’s there and listening. 

“Whatever you choose to do, I’ll be here supporting you. Just know that you’re not alone in this.”

“Thanks man, I know.”

With that the subject was dropped and they went back to work. 

Jaehyun was thankful for that, because he didn’t really want to talk about it right now. 

Two hours passed and it was five, time to go home. 

He went to take Donghyuck from Johnny’s room and found him sleeping soundly curled up into a small ball on the couch.

He looked so peaceful like that, sleeping, nothing bringing him down. Jaehyun went and sat down next to the couch listening to his little breaths, slow and steady. 

He stayed there for some time but then he remembered that they had to catch the bus home, so he slowly lifted Donghyuck’s little body off the couch, and he stirred so Jaehyun stopped all his movement so he would wake the small sleeping bundle in his arms but it was no use because sure enough he found two brown eyes blinking up at him,

“Hey sweetheart sorry for waking you but it’s time to go home.”

He whispered, not wanting to take the sleep out of the kid.

Donghyuck nodded and to Jaehyun’s surprise he hurried himself into the crook of his dads neck and inhaled a deep breath and just relaxed there. 

He hadn’t done that in a long time, to sleep in his dad's embrace. 

Jaehyun felt like crying but he couldn’t do that right now, he needed to go and catch the bus so they would go home. 

Donghyuck had slept through the whole way home in Jaehyun’s arms, and Jaehyun savored every single moment of it. It was rare for that to happen now, so he held his breath and breathed as slow as possible to not wake him. 

Once they got home though he had to wake Donghyuck up, to change him out of his school uniform, bathe him and give him dinner. 

Once all of that was done and it was bedtime, he knew he had to talk with his son and tell him what had happened today. 

He had to tell him that going back home from school without the school day finishing wouldn’t really be an option anymore. 

How would he deliver that news to his son, he didn’t know but he had to try his best to do so. 

He placed a kiss on the crown of his head as he tucked Donghyuck’s little body into the blankets, and sat down next to him on the bed. 

“Sunshine, can daddy talk to you a little before you sleep?”

He started off in a slow and gentle voice, not wanting to scare him off. 

Donghyuck blinked up at him, slow and steady with sleepy eyes and nodded.

Jaehyun held both his little hands and started talking slowly,

“You know how I had a little talk with Mrs. Kim before we went back to the library?”

He asked, he wanted to engage Donghyuck as much as he could, because he didn’t want the little one to feel like he was being scolded or told that he had done something bad.

No, he wanted to let him know that his dad would always be there for him, but he just wouldn’t be able to come and pick him up before finishing the whole school day. 

He got another nod, which he took as a sign to continue talking,

“So Mrs. Kim told me today that you can’t really skip school from now on, you should finish your school day completely.”

Jaehyun stopped talking to take in his son’s expression. 

Donghyuck didn’t really react, just looked at his dad, waiting for him to continue.

Which he did,

“So I can’t really be coming to pick you up whenever you don’t feel like being in school.”

To that Donghyuck frowned, and chewed on his bottom lip. 

“I’m really sorry sunshine, but don’t you think it will be fun? Hmm more time to spend with your friends playing around?”

Jaehyun said as he started to stroke Donghyuck’s hair gently.

When he didn’t get a reply from him, he tried another approach, one he thought his son would like. Because they used to do that when his mom was still in their life, when they were a  happy little family together.

“How about you make a little deal with me? What do you think about that?”

At that Donghyuck lifted his head up and looked at him with round gleaming eyes.

“Okay.”

He whispered.

A win for now Jaehyun thought.

“At the end of each school day, I’ll take you for ice cream. Does that seem good for you?”

Donghyuck seemed to be considering it, Jaehyun held his breath waiting for his answer. 

“What about when the weather gets too cold for ice cream?”

He asked with a pout. 

Jaehyun’s heart went all warm at the pout on his son’s little face. He wasn’t expecting that answer,  if that was his only worry then Jaehyun would find something else to do when winter comes. 

Anything that would make his little sunshine happy.

“When that time comes we will figure something out together. Something you enjoy doing during the winter.”

Jaehyun said with a smile.

Donghyuck beamed, apparently happy with their little deal. 

And what he did next, sent Jaehyun’s heart into an overdrive because this hadn’t happened in a very long time.

Donghyuck got up from his bed, placed a kiss on his cheeks, buried himself in his dad’s embrace and just stayed there not letting go. 

So what did Jaehyun do?

He slowly laid down with his son, turned off the bedside lamp and started singing a lullaby into Donghyuck’s ear, slowly they both dozed off into sleep.

With the thought of better days ahead in Jaehyun’s mind. 

♦︎

The following days went by quickly and Jaehyun doesn’t know if it was because he was busy at work or it was because finally he was slowly growing closer to Donghyuck again.

They started going for ice cream everyday after school on their way to the library.

Little baby steps making them closer again.

Donghyuck would talk about his day at school. About his lessons and his teachers as well. But he never mentioned anything about his friends or what he would do during his breaks.

Jaehyun was worried about that, but he didn’t want to talk about that with Donghyuck yet. Not when he had just started to open up to him. He would talk about it but not just yet.

For now he would just let his family of two enjoy the little rhythm they have made for themselves.

♦︎

It was 2:45 pm, when Jaehyun got to the gate and just in time for the school bell to ring.

He saw little kids running out of the entrance with their little backpacks towards their parents and older ones coming out with their friends talking and laughing. He kept on scanning the crowd of kids, looking for a specific little one to come out towards him, but he didn’t see anyone. 

Five minutes passed and still his son wasn’t out yet, he started to worry. 

Why wasn’t Donghyuck coming out like everyone else?

The crowd started to die out a bit, most of the kids being taken away by their parents and the ones remaining were all the teenagers not wanting to go home to their parents yet, that’s when Donghyuck started walking out into the playground and it was his turn to scan the crowd for his dad. 

And when his eyes landed on him, he started to run towards his dad, Jaehyun couldn’t see it at that time, so he felt happy for his son to be excited to see him at the end of the day, what he didn’t know was that his son was crying while running towards him. Donghyuck ran into his dad’s embrace and held on tight. Refusing to let go or look up, Jaehyun just held him and picked him up, walking them towards Johnny’s car. 

He still had two hours for his shift to finish for the day. 

Why was Donghyuck crying?

He thought everything was taking a turn for the better. 

Was this their stepback? 

Has he read the whole situation wrong?

What had happened?

Was it a wrong idea to make him sit through school all day?

Should he have argued with Mrs. Kim about it?

Should he change schools for him?

Should he consider the therapy?

He kept on thinking all the way back to work, taking glances towards his son who was just looking out of the window. 

When they got to the library Donghyuck just walked towards Johnny’s room quietly without saying anything. 

His friend saw the scene in front of him and asked, “Did anything happen?”

“I don’t know.” Jaehyun answered, because he didn’t. He wish he did but he didn’t. 

He would have to talk about it with his son. 

When he walked into Johnny’s room to get Donghyuck he expected him to be sleeping but he wasn’t. 

He was sitting on the sofa staring at a paper in his hands. 

When he heard Jaehyun walk in, he raised his head from the paper and looked at his dad. 

Jaehyun could hear his heart break, because Donghyuck looked so small, even smaller than he already was. 

“Dad, today we had an art class. We have a new teacher and he told us to draw what makes us happy.” 

Jaehyun slowly walked towards him slowly to see what he was holding, he wanted to know what made his son happy. Wanted to see what his son had drawn. 

“And I drew this.” He flipped the paper in his hand towards Jaehyun. 

The drawing was simple and neat. 

There was a little figure, he presumed it was Donghyuck, sitting next to a larger figure, probably him. 

Two dots were drawn on the bigger figures' cheeks. 

There were scribbles of green under them, the grass and colorful flowers drawn. 

A big round circle with spikes, the sun. 

Donghyuck put his hands and pointed to the dots and looked up at him pointing towards his cheeks with his other hand, “Your dimples.”

Jaehyun laughed, “What about them little guy?”

“They make me happy. I wish I could see them more often, dad.”

Oh, his dimples are what makes Donghyuck happy?

“Since mommy isn’t around, you haven’t been smiling as much as before.”

He heard his son whisper, looking down at his drawing. 

“Is it my fault daddy? Is it because you had to come and get me from school early everyday?”

No!

“No, no baby of course not. You are my sunshine.”

He hurried and embraced his son.

“You’re the reason I’m happy too. I’m sorry daddy hasn’t been smiling a lot lately. From now on I’ll make sure I will show you my dimples as much as you want.”

He heard a sniffle come from his lap.

“Is that why you were crying today?”

Donghyuck nodded.

“Don’t cry sunshine, daddy’s just been tired with work okay?”

He hugged his son tighter. 

Jaehyun has failed, so miserably. 

How could he make his happiness think that he was the reason for him not smiling?

He was so worried about making everything good, that he forgot in the process he had forgotten to pay attention to the little things. 

He needed to do better.

To be better. 

♦︎

For the past week, Donghyuck has been coming home with a different drawing everyday.

And he always talks about his drawings to Jaehyun, and the man makes sure to listen to everything and encourage him every day.

However today when he went to get his son from school, he didn’t see any drawing in his hand.

He was about to ask Donghyuck about it, but his son beat him to it.

“Today we didn’t draw anything, because our teacher was sick and he couldn’t come to school.”

“Oh is that so! I hope he will be feeling better soon.”

♦︎

This time when Jaehyun went to pick up his son, he didn’t have a drawing in his hand but an envelope.

“No drawing today?”

“No, this is an invitation for the parent teacher conference. My teacher gave it to us in class and asked us to give it to our parents.”

Once they got home, Jaehyun opened up the envelope and saw that the conference was being held on Sunday. He would have to ask Johnny was a day off or half the day.

He felt nervous about it. It was his first time going to one of those.

What would they ask him or talk to him about? 

Would they judge him?

Would the other parents judge him?

What would Donghyuck’s teacher think of him?

He kept thinking about the possibilities until he dozed off to sleep.

♦︎

Sunday came faster than Jaehyun’s liking. He was dressed in an “office appropriate look” , said Johnny to him when he dropped Donghyuck there before leaving for the school.

He was grateful that he had a friend like Johnny, who he could rely on.

Johnny lent him his car to take. So he did.

He parked the car and walked into the school grounds and into his son’s room.

All the other parents were there, sat down with their partners.

He felt like a sore thumb standing out, the only single parent there. But he held his head high and walked towards one of the empty desks and sat down.

A few moments passed and a man walked into the classroom.

A slender man, with soft brown hair, wearing black slacks and a blazer on top of it.

From the looks of it, he was the teacher. Jaehyun had never seen him before. 

Probably a new one.

“Good morning everyone, thank you so much for coming here today,” started the man with a soft but authoritative voice, “my name is Nakamoto Yuta. Many of you haven’t seen me probably because I’m a fairly new teacher here. I'm very happy to meet you all today.” 

With that the teacher started talking about the class, the children, and their performance as a class. He also mentioned how he had plans to take them out of field trips and if that would be okay with the parents.

And when it finally came to an end, Jaehyun let out a breath that he didn’t know he had been holding. 

That was much easier than what I had anticipated he thought to himself as he stood up and tried to walk towards the door and leave the classroom. But he was stopped short in his tracks.

“Sir, are you by chance Donghyuck’s father?” He heard the teacher ask him.

“Yes, that would be me.”

“Could we perhaps talk for a moment?”

Oh maybe it wasn’t that easy after all.

“Yes of course.”

The teacher Nakamoto Yuta smiled at him, Jaehyun felt something move inside his heart, but he brushed it off.

“Great. Can you stay until all the other parents leave?”

“Yes of course.” He said again.

“Great, thank you.” Another smile.

What was this about, Jaehyun thought to himself.

Why was no one else asked to stay behind?

Has anything happened?

He just has to wait and see what the teacher has to say.

When the class was emptied and he was the only one left behind. 

The other man walked in with two cups in his hand and closed the door behind him.

“I’m sorry for keeping you waiting Mr. Jeong, but I didn’t want to discuss something personal when the other parents were present.”

He said as he placed one of the warm steaming cups in front of Jaehyun’s fidgeting hands.

What was this really about?

“It’s okay but could you please tell me what’s wrong? Has Donghyuck done something wrong? Is his performance not well enough?”

He asked in a rush. Sensing his nervousness the teacher was quick to interject.

“No no there’s no such a thing!”

Oh then what was it?

“It’s just I have noticed Donghyuck is very quiet and reserved. No matter what I try he just won’t take part in the class projects we do. He’s a great smart kid, but you see, me being the art teacher and the classroom teacher makes me want to have them doing activities that would be fun for them, like decorating their class or having the class in the playground when the sun is out but whenever we do those things he never participates and just sits in a corner alone.”

Jaehyun held his breath, and the teacher continued,

“There’s this kid in class, Mark. I have noticed him trying to get close to him, asking him to play together but Donghyuck never does. One thing he does enjoy though, is drawing.”

Said the man as he walked towards his desk and brought out a stack of paper with colors and shapes drawn on them.

“Whenever I tell them to draw, he always is the first person to get out his colored pens and paper. My first week here I asked them to draw what makes them happy and he drew you and him. When I asked him about it he just said seeing my dad’s smile.”

Jaehyun's throat felt tight.

“I was shocked at such a simple answer, so I asked Mrs.Kim about it and she told me everything about it. I’m sorry for being out of line.”

A few moments of silence went by and Jaehyun realised that an answer was expected from him.

“No Mr.Nakamoto please don’t apologise you were just trying to help as a teacher.”

And Jaehyun meant it, how could he be upset when the man was just trying to do his job.

“Thank you.”

Jaehyun didn’t know what to say so he just stayed silent.

“I mentioned earlier that I wanted to take the kids on field trips and one of the reasons behind that was that I wanted to take Donghyuck out of the school grounds and see if that would help him. So before planning the trip I wanted to discuss it with you.”

Jaehyun was lost for words. Because a potential stranger went out of his way to plan and take a whole class out just to see if it would do his son any good.

Maybe he was reaching, because of course there would be other reasons behind it. But for him that was enough to understand that this new teacher Nakamoto Yuta was a genuine person.

“That would actually be great. Donghyuck used to love being out.” He said with a wistful smile.

“Great, then I will start planning for it!”

♦︎

On the drive back to the library Jaehyun couldn’t help but think about how he feels like he has failed his son again. 

He really thought everything was going in a good direction, it seemed like his son only showed him the good sides and he didn’t talk about friends because he didn’t have any, or more like he didn’t want to have any. 

He felt grateful for the new art teacher, taking his time to try and help Donghyuck. 

As a father he needed to do better and pay closer attention. Just because his son was opening up to him didn’t mean everything was okay. He really needed to do better. 

He really didn’t know what he could do, he felt like he was doing his best but it looked like his best wasn’t enough for him. 

He had been planning to take Donghyuck out to the park but never got the chance to do it, and he was scared to do it a little bit because that was their favorite place to go to as a family of three on the weekends but now that they’re only two, he was scared that it would make his son sad and he didn’t want to do that. 

But now he could send him with school on that field trip, maybe that would be better. To be with his teacher and the other students. 

Maybe then he would be able to enjoy it more. 

He wanted to talk to Donghyuck about it, but wasn’t sure that he should because maybe the teacher wouldn’t be able to plan it all. 

He wished he had taken the other man’s number so he could ask him but he wasn’t sure that was appropriate. 

To ask for your son’s teacher’s number. 

So he would have to wait and see what the field trip would happen. 

Once he got to the library he saw Donghyuck sitting on his chair at the reception area with Johnny kneeling in front of him. He couldn’t see what they were doing. Because Johnny was blocking the view from him. 

So he stepped closer and saw that Donghyuck had drawn something and was showing it to Johnny. 

He smiled, the teacher had been right, his son really did love to draw. 

They didn’t notice him being there. 

So he just stood in his place and watched them talk. 

After some time both Johnny and Donghyuck raised their heads together and noticed him standing there.

“Dad! Johnny gave me a nickname!” He announced with excitement.

“Oh yeah? And what is that?”

“Hyuck!”

Jaehyun let out an amused huff. “Oh wow that’s really creative of him sunshine.”

“Hey man Hyuck likes it and it’s shorter!” Said Johnny laughing.

“Do you like it baby? Is Johnny saying the truth?”

Donghyuck hopped down from the chair he was sitting on and started jumping around, “Yes daddy I love it! I had so much fun with Johnny today!” and he ran towards Jaehyun, hugging his legs.

Jaehyun looked over to his friend and mouthed a thank you  to him.

He was worried that Donghyuck wouldn’t be comfortable enough with Johnny.

Now he just had to sit Donghyuck down and talk to him about what his teacher had told him.

♦︎

“Sunshine, how about we skip ice cream today because the weather is getting a bit colder now. We can go home and have a movie night?”

He tried to negotiate with his son because he wanted to talk to him.

“Okay, but we will watch a movie of my choice.”

Jaehyun smiled, thankful that he had such a good son.

“You got a deal.”

♦︎

They ended up watching nothing at all because Donghyuck couldn’t decide on a movie so they just made popcorn and hot chocolate and sat down together.

Donghyuck on his dads lap with his pencils and sketch pad drawing little flowers and butterflies.

Jaehyun thought it was the best time to talk to him.

“So today I met your teacher.” He started not wanting to make his turn around and shut himself down. When he didn’t get an answer he continued, “I met Mr. Nakamoto.”

At the teacher’s name his son looked at him, curiosity visible in his eyes.

That was something new.

“He told me you really enjoy drawing and that he really liked your drawings.”

“I like Mr. Nakamoto. He always helps me.”

He did?

“With what does he help you?”

“Everything.” Said the little boy as he kept drawing.

It looked like he wouldn’t be getting any answers from him.

“He also told me you weren’t really playing around with anyone. Now why is that baby? Are the other kids bothering you? You can tell me you know that right?”

Jaehyun said in the calmest and softest voice he could manage.

He wanted his son to open up to him and he would do everything he could.

He didn’t get anything from his son.

He tried another approach.

“Do you have any friends, baby?”

Donghyuck looked up at his dad, hesitated but then answered, “Yes I do.”

Was he trying to make him feel better?

“What’s his name?”

“Mark.”

Wasn’t that the same kid Mr. Nakamoto talked about?

“Oh that’s really nice. Do you guys play around together?”

He already knew the answer to that but wanted to see what his son would say.

It was important for him to make Donghyuck understand that he could talk about everything to him.

“No.”

Okay he would take that, it was a good start.

“And why is that sunshine?”

He shrugged “He used to ask me a lot but I kept on saying no, so now he kind of just stopped.”

And of course he wouldn’t go and ask the other kid, because his son was a shy one.

“How about I make you two a snack box and you take it with you and offer it to him and ask him to play with you hmm? Wouldn’t that be nice?”

“You think so?”

Jaehyun smiled at him reassuringly, “I know so.”

“Okay then let’s do that.”

Slow steady steps.

♦︎

“Dad, Mr. Nakamoto gave us this paper for a school trip we’re going to. Can you sign it for me?”

Donghyuck gave him a piece of paper when he went to pick him up from school.

Oh so the trip was planned.

“You want to go, sunshine?”

“Yes, Mark is also going.”

Oh yes, Donghyuck had become friends with Mark, ever since he had taken him that snack box.

“Mr. Nakamoto said me and Mark can partner up on the trip. He even made us partners for today’s project.”

It seemed like both Jaehyun and Mr. Nakamoto were doing teamwork without even being aware of each other.

Jaehyun thought how could a teacher be so great to his students, going as far as helping them make new friends?

“That’s great then, I’ll sign it as soon as we get home.”

♦︎

12:30 pm

Received 

-Hello Mr. Jeong, this is Yuta.

Sorry for the inconvenience but I wanted to talk to you for a few moments if you have the time to.

Thank you.

Jaehyun saw the text an hour later when his lunch break started, it took him a few minutes to realise who Yuta was. He was so used to Mr. Nakamoto's name being said by his son.

What would the teacher want to talk about with him?

He decided against texting and chose to call him.

But he didn't get an answer. 

And didn’t get a call back. So he let it go if it had been urgent the teacher would’ve tried to contact him.

♦︎

When he went to pick up Hyuck from school (yes now Donghyuck wanted to be called Hyuck thanks to Johnny) he was surprised to see the teacher coming out of the building with his son.

“Hello Mr. Jeong, sorry for not getting back to you. I had a class.”

Oh yes that made sense. The school's lunch break was at 12:30 and his was at 1:30.

“It’s quite alright Mr. Nakamoto.”

The teacher turned to his son and smiled at him.

Oh that was a beautiful smile.

“How about you go and play around the playground Hyuck until me and your dad have a little conversation?”

“Yes sir.”

And he ran into the playground.

“Mr. Jeong, how about we take a walk? That way we can talk and you can also keep an eye on Donghyuck.”

“Yes of course.”

“As you know the school trip will be on Saturday. I will be taking them to a nearby park. Nothing too fancy as you know I can’t handle all those kids alone and I’ll only be having another teacher to help me with them.” The other man said with a smile. 

Jaehyun couldn’t stop looking at him whenever he smiled.

He had a really beautiful smile, but that was inappropriate to think because that man was his son’s teacher. 

“I wanted to ask you some questions before I planned the trip completely.”

Jaehyun realised that the teacher was waiting for an answer from him. 

“Ah yes of course you can ask whatever.”

The teacher nodded, “What does Donghyuck like to do? As in sports?”

Jaehyun thought back to all the times they used to go out together as a family, back when everything was good.

He used to play football with him for hours in the park, Donghyuck would never grow tired of it. He would laugh and jump around until his legs couldn’t stand all the running and jumping. 

Jaehyun felt nostalgic and sad, he wished he could go back in time but he couldn’t do that, so he wished that he could bring the same playfulness back into his son’s life. 

Mr. Nakamoto must’ve felt the shift in his mood, because he reached out and placed one of his hands on Jaehyun’s shoulder, “I’m sorry if that was too much of my to ask. I just wanted to know what he likes to do so I can plan the activities centered around him since I’m doing the trip mostly for him.” said the teacher with an apologetic smile. 

Oh no he had misunderstood Jaehyun. 

Jaehyun was in fact very grateful for the efforts the teacher was putting into this trip just for the sake of his son. He admired the other man. 

“No please, I’m grateful for everything you’re doing. You’re really an amazing teacher. Your question just brought back some memories. That’s all. Also Hyuck likes football a lot, or used but I don’t know anymore.”

He saw the teacher's deep brown eyes light up at that, shining eyes he could describe them as. 

“Oh really? I used to be a professional football player up until college. This will be exciting! Thank you for letting me know!”

Jaehyun didn’t know what to say, but thankfully he didn’t have to say anything because his son came running to him and clutched his hand, “Daddy can we go now please I wanna see Johnny I have something to show him!”

Jaehyun was about to protest and say that he still wasn’t done talking with his teacher but the other man crouched down to Donghyuck’s level and patted his head,

“See you on Saturday little one.”

♦︎

Saturday came around, he dropped Donghyuck at school and saw Mr. Nakamoto. 

The Mr. Nakamoto he saw was completely different from the one he saw every time he would come to school. 

The man who was always dressed in dark slacks and blazers was now dressed in jeans and a leather jacket. 

The hair that was always styled and pushed back was now hidden under a black beanie with the ends of it out. 

His eyes were also shielded by sunglasses. 

The dress shoes were replaced by combat boots. 

To put it simply Jaehyun found the other man completely different and attractive. 

But that was not the only thing he noticed about the teacher. He saw how he held every student's hand and guided them into the bus, he saw how respectful he was with every single parent, he saw how gentle he was with the students. 

Jaehyun felt at ease leaving his son with Nakamoto Yuta. 

♦︎

“You don’t seem worried.”

Said Johnny on their lunch break. 

Jaehyun looked up from his salad bowl and arched one of his brow not understanding what his friend was implying.

“You don’t seem worried about the fact that you left Hyuck alone.”

Oh, that. 

“I’m really not. Mr. Nakamoto is a great teacher. I trust him to not make Hyuck do anything he doesn’t want.”

Johnny gave him a smile. It wasn’t his everyday smile. There was something behind that smile. 

“What?”

“What what?”

“Why did you give me that smile?”

“It was just a normal smile, what do you mean?”

Johnny smiled even wider. 

Jaehyun was having none of that. 

“Johnny tell me right now, what are you up to?”

His friend’s smile this time changed into a soft one,

“I think this Nakamoto teacher guy would make a good friend for you.”

What?

“He’s my son’s teacher John.”

“Okay who said you can’t befriend your son’s teacher Jaehyun.”

Jaehyun didn’t answer. 

“Look from the way I see it. He’s been helping Hyuck a lot. Even you have noticed. I have seen him talk more in the last month than a year. And majority of it is about school and how he’s gotten a new friend and how Mr. Nakamoto always helps him with everything. So what does that tell you?”

“It tells me that he’s a good teacher.”

“Okay and?”

“There’s no and Johnny. He’s just doing his job.”

Johnny sighed. 

“Listen man, I'm not saying anything like he’s giving special treatment to your son. All I’m saying is you can maybe invite him for dinner and get him a thank you gift since he’s helped Donghyuck and you in the process so much. I don’t know, I think it would be nice.”

When Johnny put it that way, it did make sense. 

“I’ll think about it.”

♦︎

When 4:00 pm turned around Jaehyun was waiting at the school gates with the other parents. 

When the bus arrived, he held his breath, it wasn’t that he was worried about something happening to Donghyuck, he was nervous because this had been the first time for his son to be alone without him. 

So he wanted to know how it had went. 

The bus stopped and the first person to come down was of course their teacher. 

The beanie was gone, the glasses were perched up on his head pushing his hair away from his face. 

He started guiding the kids out of the bus, one by one and telling them to line up. 

The last person to come down was Donghyuck. 

Jaehyun searched his face from where he was standing, looking for any signs of him not being okay. But he found none. 

Instead he found a bright smile directed towards him. 

Donghyuck pulled on his teacher’s hand and made him come down to his level and whispered something into his ears, which caused the other man to laugh and nod at him. 

So that’s how he found his son running towards him and hugging his legs tightly. 

Jaehyun was about to fall from the force of the embrace. 

He laughed.

“I take it you enjoyed your time?”

“It was the best trip ever, daddy. I saw ducks, I saw birds, I even saw a squirrel! Mr. Nakamoto helped me feed all of them with Mark!”

Jaehyun looked up from his son and saw his friend also talking excitedly with his own parents. 

He looked around to find the man who was the source of all these students’ happiness and found him unloading everything they had taken with them from the bus. 

Jaehyun started walking to him with his son clutching his hands. 

“Let’s go thank Mr. Nakamoto for today, yeah?”

When they approached the teacher, he didn’t notice them since he was busy getting everything out of the bus. 

So Jaehyun cleared his throat to get his attention but that didn’t work as well.

He contemplated on what to do next, but his son beat him to it. 

And jumped right in front of the teacher, starling him and making him lose balance. 

Jaehyun was quick to act, immediately reaching out and holding the teacher in place so he wouldn’t fall down. 

He heard his son giggle. 

“Mr. Nakamoto always gets so jumpy and scared easily.”

“Now Donghyuck that was really nice of you to do was it? Your teacher could’ve fallen down and gotten hurt."

At that his son stopped giggling and looked down.

“What do we say?”

“I’m sorry Mr. Nakamoto, that won’t happen again.”

The teacher seemed to have gained his footing and stepped out of Jaehyun’s arms and sat down to Donghyuck’s level. 

“It’s okay, don't worry about it. You’re all forgiven.”

“Thank you!”

And what Jaehyun saw next was unbelievable. 

If someone else would have told him he wouldn’t believe it. 

He saw his son go in and hug his teacher tightly.

“Thank you so much for today, I had so much fun thanks to you.”

Jaehyun hadn’t seen him hug anyone except him, even those were rare occasions. 

So it wasn’t a surprise to him to feel tears welling up in his eyes. 

But now wasn’t the time to cry, he would do that later. 

♦︎

The following weeks went by quick, everyday Donghyuck coming home with a new drawing, new story, and new thing to say about how great Mr. Nakamoto was. 

Donghyuck had even forgotten about their little deal of getting hot chocolate everyday after school since the weather had gotten cold and he was always too excited to talk about his day. 

And all that was thanks to Nakamoto Yuta. 

Jaehyun couldn’t be more thankful to the teacher. 

In the course of the time that he had been helping Donghyuck, Jaehyun had seen his son slowly come out of the shell he had and slowly turn back into the bubbly and joyful person 

Today was the last day of school before the winter break would start. 

They were walking back to the library when Donghyuck said something that caught him off guard.

“Dad what if we invite Mr. Nakamoto over for dinner?”

Jaehyun was taken by surprise. Because Donghyuck never really liked to have anyone over their house. 

“It’s just because he will be spending the holidays alone. His family is in Japan. I feel sad for him.”

“We’ll see about that.”

Once they got to the library, Donghyuck went his way into Johnny’s room and Jaehyun went to his spot. 

Would it be okay to invite the teacher?

Wasn’t that inappropriate?

“What’s the frown for?”

He was startled by his friend’s question.

“What do you mean?”

“What are you thinking about?”

He thought about not saying anything but then Johnny was always honest with him. He would tell him the right thing to do. 

“It’s just that Hyuck told me to invite his teacher over for dinner since he will be alone at home during the holidays. And I don’t know if that’s the right thing to do.”

Johnny studied him for a moment. Jaehyun could feel the hairs at the back of his neck prickle. 

“I say go for it. I’ve been telling you for a while to invite him over. I think this is a great opportunity to thank him properly.”

“You think so?” He hesitated. 

“I know so.”

♦︎

That’s how Jaehyun found himself calling the teacher the next day during his lunch break.

“Hello?” He heard a raspy voice on the other line. 

Oh had he been sleeping.

“I’m so sorry were you sleeping? Did I wake you up?”

He heard some movement from the other side,

“It’s quite okay, don't worry, just a little nap. What can I help you with?”

Jaehyun gulped. Here goes nothing. 

“Um Donghyuck wanted to invite you over for dinner. Would you like to come?”

He was met with silence.

He started counting the seconds 

1

2

3

4

5

Just when he was about to take it back and apologise he got an answer.

“Sure, I would love to.”

♦︎

So that's how Jaehyun found himself cooking a literal feast, quite possibly everything he knew.

He also tried his luck and watched a YouTube video on how to make miso soup for the teacher.

Was he doing too much?

Maybe.

But did he really care?

Not really, because the other had helped his son so much and this was the least he could do for him.

He was laying down everything on the table when the doorbell rang, and he heard littler steps running towards the door.

He went and washed his hands then dried them before walking towards the door.

"Mr. Nakamoto! You're here!" exclaimed his son excitedly.

The teacher smiled down at him, "Of course I would come, you invited me over after all. How could I say no?"

His son giggled and reached for his hand to pull his teacher in.

"My dad cooked sooooo many things today. I think it's all for you, you should come over more often so he cooks this much all the time!"

Okay that was enough.

"Hello Mr. Nakamoto, I'm glad you could make it." Jaehyun offered with a smile.

"Thank you. I got us something sweet for dessert. Hopefully you haven't prepared anything for that." 

Jaehyun could feel a teasing tone in the other man's voice.

He let out a little laugh and said no, even though he had actually prepared a cake but it'd okay they would eat whatever the teacher had brought.

Why did he do that?

He doesn't know.

♦︎

Dinner was nice.

It didn't feel strange, it felt just right.

They started to clean the table and just on cue Donghyuck disappeared.

"You don't have to Mr. Nakamoto, you're the guest here."

He protested when the teacher started cleaning up the dishes.

"Yuta is just fine."

Jaehyun was surprised, one by the fact that Yu ta had told him to just call him by his name and two by the soft sound of his voice.

He could say no, but something in him told him to agree.

"Then Jaehyun is also just fine."

When he found the courage to look up, he saw the other was already looking at him with a soft smile on his face, and Jaehyun returned the smile.

♦︎

Donghyuck fell asleep on the couch between bites of the chocolate cake Yuta had gotten them.

Yes he was already calling HIM Yuta. It felt so right.

"Jaehyun now that Donghyuck is sleeping. I wanted to talk about something with you."

Jaehyun's ears perked up at that and he gave his full attention to Yuta.

"Okay." He said carefully.

"Please if you feel like I am stepping any boundaries, stop me."

Jaehyun nodded, he felt nervous.

"I know that you're seeing the progress Donghyuck has made,"

he felt a but coming,

"but it's still not enough. Maybe he doesn't let you see it. But I do. Even in his brightest moments I see him sometimes drift off and completely lose himself."

Jaehyun's chest strained.

"Jaehyun, why don't you go to a family therapist?"

Not you too.

It must have been visible on his face because Yuta was next to him in a second.

"Listen Jaehyun, this doesn't mean you've failed him. No, it's quite the opposite. It means you're ready to get the help you both need. To heal even better. Sometimes it's easier to admit the things you can't to yourself to others."

He was going to cry, he didn't want to cry.

Yuta placed a gentle hand on his and Jaehyun lost all his control and started crying.

"It's okay, getting help is always okay. It will get better."

Jaehyun somehow believed him.

♦︎

He needed to talk to Johnny and see what his friend would tell him. After all he always seemed to be the voice reason in many situations.

"Johnny there's something I wanna talk to you about."

"And what is that?"

He took a deep breath, "Yuta told me I could go to a therapist and get some help."

And he waited.

"And you're considering it?"

"Yes."

"Remember when awhile ago Mrs. Kim told you the same thing but you were so against it. What makes you okay with it this time around?"

Johnny is right, Mrs. Kim did actually talk about that to him, but she only mentioned a child therapist for his son. She didn't say anything about him.

But Yuta had suggested a family therapist for the both of them.

That made a difference to him, the fact that Yuta had thought about him as well.

"Because Yuta suggested family therapy for both me and Donghyuck together."

Johnny smiled, "I'm glad you are on  first name basis now."

♦︎

Two months later…

Jaehyun was at the school gate waiting for the last bell to ring so he could take Haechan home.

Haechan , Donghyuck's new favourite nickname.

A nickname he had chosen for himself, because their therapist had said he smiles as bright as the sun.

So now everyone close to them called him Haechan. Which weren't that many people, but they were enough.

Johnny, Mark who had become very close friends with his son.

And there was Yuta.

Someone who had started as a teacher, but made his way into their lives.

Helped them through so much, without even being aware.

If someone looked from the outside, they would say Yuta was just doing his job as a teacher which may be true to an extent. But for Jaehyun he had not only helped his son, the teacher had helped him too, in so many ways.

And Jaehyun realised along the way that he had fallen for the teacher.

It was a slow one. It started with the fact that he always wanted to talk to Yuta after each session.

He wanted to tell the other man how he felt after each visit.

Wanted to tell him about his own progress, about their progress as a family.

He wanted to tell him about the little changes in his daily life.

About how he woke a little lighter than yesterday every new morning.

How he now would read bed night stories for his son and sleep on the same bed together cuddled up.

And one thing that eased his mind about falling in love with Yuta was that little Donghyuck also had grown so fond of the teacher. Because he had also wanted to share his own progress with his teacher.

"Dad can we call Mr. Nakamoto when we go home?"

He had asked after their third session, surprising his dad.

"He told me I could call him if I wanted to talk to him after our visit."

That's the exact moment where Jaehyun realised that he was actually in love with Yuta.

And that he wanted to share every little thing with Yuta.

The bell ringing and the students rushing out brought Jaehyun back into reality.

Like every time he waited for his son and saw him running towards him.

But Jaehyun noticed that he wasn't alone, his teacher was trailing behind him.

His son didn't go directly to him, but went to the playground to hang with his friends.

Yes, now Donghyuck had a lot of friends.

"Hello Jaehyun."

Ah that smile.

Hello Yuta, I think I'm falling in love with you, he wanted to say.

But he settled for a simple "Hello Yuta."

Yuta looked back towards the playground, then back at him with a smile on his lips and a little blush on his cheeks.

Maybe it's from the cold, he thought.

"Jaehyun, what do you think of grabbing something to eat this weekend?"

Jaehyun blinked. Was he hearing this right?

"As in the two of us?" he asked.

Yuta chuckled, "Yes, that is if you don't mind."

If you only knew.

"I would love to do that."

♦︎

Three months later…

“Jaehyun, remember my friend Doyoung?”

“Yes I do.” 

Jaehyun answered. Doyoung was one of Yuta’s closest friends. He has met him multiple times. But he was confused by the sudden mention of the man. It wasn’t unusual for Yuta to talk about his friends, but this was very out of the blue. It was a weekend and they were both just slouching together on the sofa. 

Jaehyun reading a book and Yuta on his phone. 

“Well you know he has a law firm and lately he’s been talking about how he needs a new lawyer. What do you think about talking to him?” 

Oh that makes sense. The sudden mention of his friend. 

Jaehyun hesitates to answer, because that would mean so many things. He would have to stop working at the library. He would have a nine to five job. But most importantly he won’t be able to pick Donghyuck up from school everyday. 

Sensing his worries Yuta started talking, always knowing what to say next to settle down his mind before the tornado of his thoughts would take over. 

“You don’t need to agree to anything, just have a talk with him. See what he offers. I just want you to consider it.”

“What about Donghyuck?”

“You’re not alone anymore Jae. You have me. He’s going to be in school and after that I can take him home with me, then you can pick him up or we could work something else out. But I need you to understand that it’s okay to do something for yourself now, you have given so much up for him, and now that you’re not alone, you can start doing things for yourself as well. Starting with this.”

“I don’t know Yuta.” He fisted his hands, not knowing what to do with them  from all the emotions building up in his chest and heart. 

Jaehyun’s eyes started to sting with tears that were forming. The other man placed his hands on Jaehyun’s fisted ones and started opening them slowly, with a gentle look in his eyes. 

“Just talk to Doyoung hmm? Nothing more, just a talk. He’s waiting for your call.”

God why was Yuta so sweet to him? He had thought everything through. All for him. What has he done to deserve such an amazing person in his life, he wonders.

Jaehyun closed his eyes and let a tear slip down, but it was caught with Yuta’s soft lips, he didn’t stop at that. 

Yuta kissed away all the tears that started falling down from his eyes. 

These tears weren’t ones of sadness anymore. No, those tears were ones of hope. 

Hope that he will finally be able to get back on his feet, and not be alone this time. 

Hope that he will be able to find the road to happiness he had lost for a long time. 

Hope 

Such a beautiful word. 

♦︎

One year later…

He’s waiting at the school gate when he hears the bell ring, and sees students storming out. 

He waits but this time when he doesn’t see his son coming out, he doesn’t worry and doesn’t start to frantically look around the playground for him. 

Because he knows that it would take him a little longer to come out. And he knows he wouldn’t be coming out alone. 

Just after twenty minutes of waiting, his thoughts were confirmed. 

When his son comes out into the emptied playground, his hand clutching another person's hand. 

Two pairs of eyes started looking for him, and when those eyes found him, he was greeted by two bright smiles. 

Donghyuck started to jump and wave at him. Which made the other person laugh. 

Then when looked at the source of the beautiful laugh, he saw Yuta looking at his son with an adoration that couldn’t be put into words. 

His breath got caught in his throat. 

This must be what the heavens promise, this must be what real happiness is. 

Yuta looked up at him, as if he had sensed Jaehyun’s gaze on him. 

His smile got even brighter, and he raised his hand, waving at him too.

The rays from the sun shining above them caught the band of the ring around his finger, reflecting the light. 

His fiancé. 

Yes, that must be what real happiness is. 

His son and his fiancé, waiting for him. 

Both smiling brightly at him. 

He started walking towards them. 

Once he got there, he placed a kiss on Donghyuck’s cheek, he desperately wanted to do the same to Yuta. But he couldn’t because the teacher was still at workgrounds. 

So he settled with just holding his hand and was satisfied with the feeling of the ring against his own hand. 

A reminder of how lucky he had gotten. 

“How was work today?”

Yuta asked.

“It was good, the meeting with the new client went well.”

Yuta tightened his grip on his hand, a silent encouragement. 

Hope

“Dad we drew something new today! I will show you when we get home! Let’s hurry home now!” 

His son started running towards their car dragging a laughing Yuta with him. 

Happiness

“Hey wait up for me! You can’t drive home without me!”

He also started running towards the car. 

Family