Chapter Text
of all places to go, one day, after a particularly intense mission, tecchou suggests stopping by the beach. he seems insistent enough that he's exhausted and needs a break, and after what happened with the helicopter, jouno feels inclined to agree.
only, he can tell tecchou isn't really exhausted. from his heartbeat and strong resolve he can feel radiating off his partner, something else is up. against his better judgement, he lets tecchou take him there, as they cross into the sandy beach.
" do you know what the stars are like, jouno?"
jouno saigiku has never seen the stars . or if he has, he has forgotten how they look like. why then, would tecchou bring him here?
"i never got the chance to see them, tecchou. you probably figured that out."
he hears something being dragged across the sand. is tecchou .. playing with sticks now?
"i didn't know you still played with sticks and sand like a kid."
"imagine this tiny diamond. it's constant, like how a heartbeat feels. that's a star. and together, these tiny heartbeats make ..."
tecchou reaches for jouno's hand and he takes it, feels the indentations in the sand. stars feel like diamonds. diamonds with heartbeats? and then he traces one diamond to the next.
so these are what stars feel like.
"constellations." tecchou laughs. "that one i just drew? that's libra. your star sign, if i recall. it also feels like the scales of justice. the lives we weigh."
"wait, so you're saying ..."
"that even your constellation agrees you should fight for the right thing. it's who you are. you hold those scales, jouno. you protect people. balance them well."
you hold those scales.
he remembers the time he forces that group of robbers to stab themselves. the coffee shop owner he threatened into telling the intel.
you protect people.
the explosion is brilliant. he can hear it as it tears through the sky, a second later he is screaming tecchou's name —
balance them well .
has he, though? he remembers sitting at the top in that old organization, making decisions that determined life or death, how he enjoys the sound of suffering ;
"i haven't, tecchou." he sighs, tracing the lines in the sand. "if anything, they're not tipped in favour of justice. they're unbalanced. i couldn't save you on the helicopter."
"then consider what you're fighting for. who put us in that situation."
is tecchou ... doubting fukuchi? this is new. it scares him, the thought of his friend, his partner turning traitor -
he can't feel the stars without tecchou.
no one else will pull him back. he can't lose him, not now, not ever , but he can't doubt that he's right, either.
"we'd die in a month, idiot." he scoffs. "it's not like we live like anyone else. if we do this, there's no going back."
"stars die too," tecchou replies in a low voice, but the wind carries his words. he takes jouno's hand once more as the sand slowly covers the star, "it's inevitable that they explode, but aren't they beautiful? besides, if we were to die, we'd do it together. i'd be with you. but for a month, jouno, imagine how much we'd live."
jouno has already memorized the pattern of the star. so he traces it back in slowly, letting tecchou's words sink in.
"i'd want to hear the orchestra play in the theater. listen to a movie. chase the wind. go to a bathhouse. learn how the things i can't see feel like."
the thought of it tempts him. a life is what tecchou promises. a future for a month. a chance with him. he can imagine it, just for a brief moment.
they're waking up together in their shared apartment and tecchou is making breakfast. who let him put sugar in rice again? but he can feel the warmth of the sun and knows it's past dawn. thirty-one days of sunrises and peaceful moments.
"i want that." he whispers back. it is a forbidden thing he shouldn't want. how he is just an asset to the government. that his life isn't his ; nothing really is. but if he crosses that line ...
he unlaces his boots. slides them off by the sand, feeling soft sand beneath his feet, and stands up.
somewhere beside him, he can hear tecchou doing the same.
his military cap lands on the sand with a decisive thump as he can feel his hair swaying in the sea breeze now. it feels ... good.
the military lapels are ripped off, buried in the sand beneath his feet.
his fist unclenches as he feels tecchou's hand in his. another thump on the ground , and he takes another step towards the water.
he won't know this, but he knows tecchou hasn't taken his gaze off him for a second. he knows from his breathing that he's beside him, from the pride that seems to swell up in his partner that he's proud of him.
damn it all to hell. the amount of times tecchou's has to patch him up after a mission, how he's had to talk tecchou out of a nightmare, the fear that one day, all fukuchi has to say is one word and ... it all fades into the wind. his cape too flutters in the breeze, and is carried away past the horizon.
like a kite, so does tecchou's.
his hands find the buttons on the uniform as he slowly undoes the first one, exposing the white, collared sleeveless shirt underneath. he can practically hear tecchou's heartbeat quicken, the warmth of the heat rushing into his cheeks - he can hear the unspoken question.
exactly how far do you want to take this?
jouno's lips curve into a smirk.
he tugs at his collared shirt, and then at the last second, lets go with a soft laugh.
not as far as you think, idiot.
of all the times tecchou has seen jouno smile, this one is the first genuine one. he never thought he'd see this day either.
they reach the water, as it fills the space between them. and then, jouno closes the distance between them, and he kisses tecchou.
it feels warm, blazing like the setting sun, freeing, like the breeze against his cheek, and everything makes sense.
what he doesn't expect is for tecchou to kiss him back. and oh, god, he's in trouble, because tecchou is a damn good kisser.
they finally pull away, jouno leaning on tecchou's shoulder, as the sun's heat slips away. he knows it's dipping past the horizon now.
"i want to be with you too," jouno replies, "for the last thirty-one days of our lives."
"then let's live." tecchou smiles, "for real this time."