Archive of Our Own ^beta

You haven't left your bed in days, let alone your apartment. All you do is sleep really. What more is there to do? You want to sink into the mattress and cease to exist. You've gotten a few concerned texts from friends, more than a few from your best friend, but you've waved them off up to this point, answering that you're fine. 

That all stops today though. From your bed you hear the sound of your door opening. You ultimately panic, but the confines of your bed are keeping you from getting up. Instead you grab your phone, ready to call the police. 

Before you can, though, there's a knock at your bedroom door. A soft, familiar voice calls your name from the other side, "...I used my key to get in. I'll give you a second but I'm coming in, okay?" There's a moment of hesitation, long enough for you to take care of making yourself presentable if you were in the headspace to do so, before the door swings open. Asahi swoops in, kneeling down beside your bed. 

"Hey...what's goin’ on, huh? Why haven't you been out of your apartment? I haven't seen you in days." 

A noncommittal grunt leaves your chest and you sigh, "Don't want to." 

"Don't want to, what? Leave?" 

You shake your head and sink into the mattress, "Exist...I'm so tired 'sahi." 

Asahi's face twists in what looks like pain before he smarts his expression. "I'm so, so sorry. I'm here now though, okay? I'm gonna help."

His hand comes up to hold your face. "Why don't you get a nice long bath? Just relax and let yourself get all loose." 

You don't want to get up, but the hand on your face leaves and takes your hand instead. You reluctantly let Asahi help you out of bed and lead you to your bathroom. 

He leaves you to soak in the tub, saying that he'll be waiting for you in the living room. You sigh, sinking into the warm water. You shouldn't be letting him do any of this for you. You should be able to get out of bed and function. You feel so useless and you're pulling down Asahi with you because you can't get your shit together like an actual adult. 

Once you're sufficiently raisined and relatively cleaner, you step out of the tub and head back to your room to get dressed. When you arrive you see that your bed has been stripped and made with fresh sheets. All of your dirty laundry has been cleaned out of the corner of your room and the clean clothes put away. You feel a lump form in your throat, hot tears following after.

Were you really so bad that someone had to care for you like a child? You felt sick to your stomach as you pulled on clothes that had been neatly folded. After you've gotten dressed you walk out to the living room to find the clutter and trash has been cleared. Asahi is sitting on the couch waiting patiently for you. 

"I'm not a child, Asahi." you barked, "I can do this by myself…" 

He nods gently, "I know you can. I wanted to do it for you, though. Everyone needs a little help sometimes." 

"I didn't ask for help. I don't need it. I'm fine!" 

This seemed to pull Asahi from the couch. He stood and made his way over, towering over you yet still soft and unintimidating. 

"Fine is not laying in bed all day and not going to work. It's not avoiding your friends and their help...it's okay to not be fine!" 

"Is it though?" 

"YES!" Asahi's voice cracked, unused to rising to such a volume outside of the volleyball court. He took a deep breath, "It's okay, but you should ask for help when you need it. I was so worried about you. I am so worried about you." 

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't burden you like that…" 

Asahi rested his hands on your shoulders, his large, warm palms grounding. "No, you're not a burden. Not even close. You just need some support. I-." His face bloomed in a blush, "I want to be there to help you, but I need to know how  to help you." 

One hand left your shoulder to cradle your face. You closed your eyes, leaning into the warmth. 

"Thank you, 'sahi." You placed a gentle kiss on his palm. 

When you turned to face him again his face was beet red, "Of course." 

~♡×♡××♡×♡~

Since speaking with Asahi, things have been getting better. You began working through things slowly, even speaking with a therapist to do so. The fog feels like it's lifting...but Asahi himself has been odd. He wasn't avoiding you. In fact, he'd been spending more time with you. It was just that things didn't feel the same as they had before. The glass-hearted man seemed even more aware of his body than usual, staying uncomfortably stiff more often than not. 

You wondered if you had done something wrong the night he came to help you. You had felt so complete with him that day, so much so that you'd considered confessing that the affection you felt for him extended past friendship. It seemed wrong to do so at that moment though and you weren't sure if it might have made the situation worse...especially if he didn't feel the same. Perhaps he could tell, he read you well, and it made him uncomfortable. Perhaps--

Before you can begin overthinking, you feel the vibration of a phone notification against your thigh. 

'Sahi: Hey. Would you like to come over today? You don't have to, of course.

You chuckled to yourself. It's as if he knew you were overthinking. 

You: i'd love to. see u in 10 ♡

~

You arrive at Asahi's apartment, barely two blocks away from your own, and open the door to the sight of the man himself, rigidly sitting at his dining table. His head snaps up to you.

"Y-you're here. Cool." He stands, fumbling as he does so, "I wanted to talk to you about something."

Your heart falls into your stomach. Maybe you were right to worry before…

"Yeah, course 'Sahi. What do you want to talk about?" 

He seems to stiffen further, as if it were possible, before steeling himself and letting out a deep sigh.

"I wanted to talk about the other day." Your face must shift because he frantically waves his hands, "Nonono! It's nothing bad, well, I mean, unless I really make a fool out of myself here. But then, I guess it wouldn't be so bad for you and just bad for me. But you might still be upset. Please don-" 

You walk up to him and put a hand on his shoulder, "It's fine, big guy. Don't hurt yourself. Just- tell me what's goin' on. I won't be upset. I promise." You give him a reassuring smile. 

Asahi's body loosens, "A-alright. I can handle this." He takes your hands in his. 

"I was so ridiculously scared the other day. Of hurting you, of pushing you away, of losing you. And it occurred to me that I can't control that. I can't control if I'm going to lose you from my life someday and...I can't keep going like that without letting you know how I really feel."

"How you really feel?" You stammer. ' Oh no, this is the part where he tells you he's been pretending to care the whole time .' Your brain supplies. You shudder at the thought, bracing yourself. 

"I love you." He takes a deep breath and looks you in the eyes, "More than as my friend. I'm in love with you...and I needed you to know." 

He's shaking like a leaf now, his hands trembling over yours. Despite your best efforts a relieved chuckle leaves your chest. Asahi's face seems to fall. Shit. 

"Shit! Asahi, I'm not laughing at you. I'm just...I'm relieved." You laugh again, resting your forehead on his shoulder, "I thought you were friend-dumping me." 

He sighs loudly, "We're bad at social interactions." 

You laugh again, "We are...we really are." Your hand leaves his to instead brush his cheek, "I'm glad you told me, 'Sahi. I knew something was off. I just thought it was my fault. I actually," you blush, "well I actually thought you might be letting me know that you could tell that the other night was the tipping point for my romantic feelings for you and it made you uncomfortable." 

Asahi's eyes brighten, "You really? I'm not even that...I'm just-" 

You silence him, "You're my amazing best friend who has helped me through so much of the darkness in my life. There's no one better on this earth for me." Your eyes drift to his lips, chocolate eyes brimmed with tears meeting yours.

You both lean in, mouths joining in the middle and moving together like the world's first dance. Slow, fumbling, but filled with so much warmth and excitement. When one of you pulls away for breath, the other goes back in to taste again. It's like the sweetest honey on your lips. 

The two of you finally separate, and you rest your forehead on Asahi's. He smiles back at you, his eyes crinkling in your vision. "I could spend the rest of my life like this."