Chapter Text
The classroom was hot, the summer sun pouring in through the window, and the stifling heat combined with Binn’s endless droning was making Sirius’s eyes droop. His head was slumped against his arm and he was on the verge of falling asleep when James prodded him sharply in the side with his quill, making him yelp, his history of magic book slipping off the table and landing with a loud thump on the floor.
“Ow, what was that for?” He complained, rubbing his side.
James rolled his eyes. “Don’t be such a wuss, Pads,” he snickered. “Class is finished, and we’re gonna be late to Potions if you don’t pick up your feet. Pete and Moony have already left.” James reached down and shoved Sirius’ book into his own satchel, pulling Sirius by his robe sleeve out of the almost empty classroom.
Sirius didn’t feel the need to retort. He felt himself sag a little when he heard that Remus had already gone. Remus had been avoiding him lately, and he didn’t for the life of him know why. It was putting him in a worse mood than it should’ve.
James was completely oblivious to Sirius’ misery, chattering about quidditch and who-knows-what and was content enough with Sirius’ ‘mms’ to continue the one sided conversation while Sirius mulled over everything he could’ve done to irritate Moony enough for him to ignore him for so long.
Other than his sarcastic quips about Remus’s ever dishevelled hair, which he had never seemed to mind before, he didn’t think he’d said or done anything recently to cause Remus to ignore him so thoroughly.
Sirius continued to run this through his mind all the way until he and James made it to the Potions classroom, where the coolness of the dungeons was a blessing after the sticky heat of the upper floors.
James and Sirius made it barely in time, and were the last ones to enter the classroom, which meant they had to take the seats right at the front, by Slughorn’s desk.
Peter and Remus were seated in the back corner, and Sirius couldn’t help but think that Remus had carefully chosen that seat to be as far away from Sirius as possible when he and James arrived. As they made their way to the front, James slowed by their friends’ desk and hissed, “you could’ve saved us a seat, y’know? Now we’re so close to old Sluggy that we’re in dangerous range of his flying spit.”
Peter sniggered, and Remus just answered cooly, “We weren’t early enough for that. Almost all the seats were taken by the time we got here.” He directed his answer to James, and ignored Sirius completely. Sirius had a feeling he was lying.
James just muttered something under his breath, and made his way to the open desk, Sirius following behind him.
Once they were seated, Slughorn immediately jumped into a long winded description of amortentia, a potion that smelled different to each individual, of what they most loved. Sirius felt safe enough to return to his thoughts. James hadn’t noticed the frostiness between Sirius and Remus, being too absorbed in himself, and although Sirius was pretty sure that Pete suspected something, he hadn’t voiced his suspicions, at least not to him. Remus made sure to not ignore him outright when they were with friends as to not arouse suspicion, but he would never ask him direct questions, would only reply to his if someone else replied to him first, and he just wouldn’t look at him. His eyes would swivel from a point above his head to somewhere to the right of his arm, but never strayed to his face, let alone his eyes. Sometimes, when Sirius would look up suddenly, he would catch Remus staring at him intensely, with a weird look on his face. But the second Sirius met his eyes Remus’s head would snap back down to his book or parchment, and it would happen so quickly that Sirius wondered if he had imagined it all.
“…and that would be what, Mr Black?” Sirius’s head snapped up to see Slughorn watching him expectantly.
“Huh?” Sirius said. He had been so lost in thought that he hadn’t heard a word that had left Slughorn’s mouth.
“I expect you to pay more attention in my class, Mr Black,” Slughorn tutted. “A point from Gryffindor. I said, ‘How much moonwater can we add to amortentia before the smell becomes deadly?’”
“Um..” Sirius’s head swivelled around. He had no idea. Usually, when he was stumped, Remus would mouth the answer to him, but his head was turned steadfast in the other direction. “Why don’t you ask Lily? I bet she knows,” He said, pointing towards Lily, who’s hand was flapping in the air.
Slughorn tutted again, a slew of spit leaving his mouth and narrowly missing Sirius’s face. “My, you are really out of character today, Mr Black. I expect an extra inch on your homework essay. Very well, Miss Evans?”
“You need exactly 12 milli grams of moon water before the potion becomes too overpowering,” Lily answered, lowering her hand back to her desk, where her parchment was covered in neat orderly notes, a stark contrast to Sirius’s blank one.
“And that brings an end to our lesson,” Slughorn beams. “I expect a 14 inch essay on the properties of milkweed by next Friday. 15 inches from you, Mr Black,” he said, eyeing Sirius. “Now, whoever would like to stay behind to smell the amortentia, please form an orderly queue.”
Most of the class remained, and James dragged him to the back of what was more of a jumble than a queue to where Peter and Remus were standing.
“We all know what you're gonna smell, James,” Peter says, “There isn’t any point in you even being here.”
“Yes,” James says dreamily. “Books and vanilla with a hint of jasmine.”
“The scent of Lily Evans,” Remus said, rolling his eyes.
A screech pierced through the air, and they all look up to see Lily standing by the amortentia with Severus, looking absolutely horrified.
“She probably smelt your sweaty quidditch uniform,” Sirius snickered. “If I had to smell that out of the blue, id get quite a scare too.”
“Oi!” Said James, looking affronted. “Watch what you say, Black. If anyone ever smelt you in that potion, all they’d be able to smell is that pungent hair gel you use.”
“Hey!” Sirius shoved James, making him yelp. “It does not smell bad!”
“Speak for yourself,” Peter mumbled with a smirk, and Sirius turned his glare on him.
Remus observed this interaction with disinterest, as if they were a bunch of toddlers. Usually he would add in a snarky comment of his own, but his mouth stayed firmly shut. Sirius looked down and saw that Remus’s hands were trembling ever so slightly. His brow furrowed. Was Remus.. scared? Of him? Was that why he had been avoiding him? Sirius’s blood turned cold. Moony couldn’t be scared of him, could he? Why would he be scared-
Sirius shook his head slightly. Of course Remus wasn’t scared of him. He was being paranoid. But what if-
His chain of thought was broken when he looked up to see Remus staring at him intensely again, his eyes searching his face with.. worry? But as quickly as it happened it was over, and when Sirius blinked Remus was staring at his shoes again, showing no sign of ever looking up from them in the first place. Sirius shook himself. What was up with him today? He was scaring himself. Was Remus’s avoidance making him go crazy? Crazy enough to completely imagine interactions between them? Was he so starved for anything from Remus that his brain had taken to making stuff up?
“Finally, our turn,” James announced. Sirius looked up, a little disoriented. The classroom was now empty, save for them, and they were right by the amortentia.
“Ill go first,” James decided on behalf of all of them, picking up the vial filled with the clear sloshing liquid and sniffing it. He nodded, appeased, before placing it back down on the desk and beaming. “Books, vanilla, jasmine and mint,” he sighed.
Sirius’s brow furrowed, confused. “Mint? Since when does lily smell like mint?”
James looked up, seemingly only just realising that he had smelt something aside from Lily. “I- don’t know.” He seemed deep in thought, before he gasped, his hand covering his mouth, looking horrified. Sirius looked over at Peter, who looked equally confused, and then at Remus, who was smirking knowingly. He looked like he knew exactly who James had smelt.
“James, who did you smell?” Sirius asked, urgency creeping into his voice. James looked like he was about to pass out.
“No one,” he mumbled, his expression glum, and he shoved the amortentia towards Peter. “Pete, your turn.”
Sirius felt so bad for James that he decided not to pester him about who had smelt . Even Remus was no longer smirking.
To divert the situation away from James, Peter lifted the amortentia to his nose and sniffed it. He wrinkled his nose and set it down.
“Lemons and really strong rose perfume,” he coughed, as if the scent was creeping into his mouth.
“Who’s that?” Sirius asked.
Peter blushed a fierce red and pushed the potion towards Sirius. “Thats for me to know and for you to NOT find out, especially you, Sirius, since you can’t be trusted with any secrets at all.”
“Hey!” Sirius said, offended “I can keep a secret if I want to!”
Yeah, right,” Remus scoffed.
Sirius looked at him, shocked. This was the first time Remus had spoken to him directly in almost 2 weeks. Remus looked surprised as-well, and also a little… angry?
Sirius smiled, softly, not replying, as to not shatter the moment.
“Ok, your turn, Pads,” James said, his voice lacking enthusiasm. He seemed to be deflated after his turn.
As Sirius lifted the glass vial, he hesitated a little. He was curious, and a little scared of what he would smell. He didn’t like anyone. Would it smell of nothing?
The vial hovered an inch from his nose when he saw that Remus was watching him intently, again. He didn’t even seem to notice that Sirius had caught him staring. His eyes were glued to his face, watching. Waiting for something. He noticed that Remus’s hands for shaking again. Sirius swallowed the weird feeling Remus’s stare was sparking in him, closing his eyes and sniffing the amortentia.
The mix of scents was unusual, but pleasant. Who knew how well cigarette smoke, chocolate and old books went together? Sirius savoured the smell for a moment, before his brain started ticking. The smell was familiar to him. Extremely familiar. Who smelt like that? Who-
Sirius opened his eyes to see Remus’s ones still fixed on his face, and his heart stopped. Remus had moved a little closer during the time where his eyes were closed, close enough that Sirius could see the flecks of green in his hazel eyes.
He lowered the amortentia away from his nose, far away enough so that the fumes wouldn’t be able to reach him. He sniffed again, and could still smell the chocolate, cigarette, old book smell, except it was toned down a lot.
Sirius knew that the smell wasn’t coming off the amortentia. It was coming off the person who was still staring at him.
Peter coughed, and that was what seemed to bring Remus to his senses. His eyes widened as he realised what he’d been doing, and he took a step back and ducked his head, embarrassed. Sirius, however, was still glued to the spot, eyes wide with shock as he processed what he had smelt. Remus. Remus. He had smelt Remus-
“Well, Pads, what did you smell?” Peter said. James looked up, looking mildly interested but mostly still miserable. Remus’s head was still ducked, so Sirius couldn’t see his face.
“Um..” Sirius mumbled. “Honey, sea salt and broomstick polish.”
The lie slipped off his tongue easily. He couldn’t tell them what he had actually smelt. Remus would realise immediately, that he-
“Your go, Moony,” Sirius blurted, shoving the vial towards him, trying to distract himself before he had time to unpack that thought.
Remus picked it up and sniffed it, and placed it down almost immediately. He didn’t look surprised, like James and Sirius had, or sheepish, like Peter. He just looked.. disappointed. As if he had known what he would smell, but had still hoped otherwise.
“What did you smell, Moony?” James asked, and Sirius felt himself leaning in to hear his answer.
“Strawberries, parchment and ink,” Remus said smoothly.
Sirius felt his heart drop. What had he been expecting him to say? Coffee? Spearmint? Even that ‘pungent’ hair gel he used? Had he been expecting Remus to smell Sirius like Sirius had smelt him? He knew that wasn’t how it worked. Why did he even want to Remus to smell him? Why had he smelt Remus?
The walk back to their dorms was in silence. Everyone seemed a little glum, aside for Peter, who didn’t usually talk much anyway. Sirius was trying his hardest to suppress thoughts of Remus and amortentia so he wouldn’t have to unpack what had happened just yet, and could live in blissful ignorance for a while longer. James looked like he was trying to do the same thing. Sirius stole a glance at Remus, who just looked defeated and a little disappointed in himself. Remus’s head turned in his direction and his eyes met his. Sirius looked away, embarrassed to be the one caught staring this time. They reached the fat lady, and Peter spoke,
“turbidus.” Sirius snorted. How ironic. The password was troubled in latin.
They climbed through the hole. It wasn’t that late yet, so the common room was still filled with people.
“I think I’ll have an early night,” James said.
“Ill join you,” Sirius said. He needed peace to think things over.
“I still need to finish my Transfiguration homework,” Peter groaned.
“What about you, Moony?” James asked.
“I think i'll stay down here for a while,” Remus murmured.