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Immediately after they broke out of the cage and hell, Dean thanked Castiel for his trouble and before Dean could say anything else, the angel quickly left, knowing that Dean had to take care of his little brother.
His gaze softened when he saw the state Sam was in.
All shaken up, he was standing not far from him, hugging himself. Dean didn't know what had happened (or if anything had happened) in the cage before he and Cas had managed to get in there, and honestly, he wasn't sure he wanted to know.
All he knew was that he had to and wanted to help Sam, even without all his brotherly instincts screaming at him to do something.
"Sam?" he spoke up when he was close enough. Sam shook his head.
"Of course God wasn't sending me any visions. He didn't lift a finger at the damn apocalypse, why would he care about Amara?" he laughed without humor and Dean decided he didn't like that sound and never wanted to hear it from his brother's mouth again. "You were right, Dean, and I was stupid. I should have listened to you, I should have known that they wanted to confuse me, that he only wanted to use me and-"
Dean grimaced. Sam was getting worked up.
"Hey, hey, hey! Sam" he came even closer and put his hands on Sam's cheeks "Sammy, look at me. Take a breath, okay? Come on, with me"
He inhaled and exhaled in a way that Sam could copy him, and when he calmed down enough not to go into a full-blown panic attack, he started crying against his will.
He didn't want to cry. Not in front of Dean. Not now.
Dean's gaze softened even more (when was the last time his brother looked at him with such fondness??), he pulled him close and hugged him.
"Shh, Sammy. It's okay, you're okay. I'm here"
Burying his face in Dean's shoulder, Sam let the tears flow.
[***]
With Sam's escape from the cage, the nightmares returned.
Sam would wake up with a scream, shaken and confused. Sometimes he wouldn't wake up on his own, he didn't want to sleep, he didn't want Dean to have to sit by him and babysit him like a five-year-old, but they both knew that only with Dean next to him would Sam be able to fall asleep.
It was just like the first time. When Sam regained his soul a few years ago and had post-hell flashbacks/nightmares.
Dean felt like they were back to square one and all the progress they had ever made had erased itself.
Sam was traumatized, and Dean never wanted to kick someone more.
Fuck God, fuck the devil, fuck heaven, fuck hell, fuck angels and demons and fuck everything that made Sammy suffer.
He sighed loudly, leaning his head against the wall. Sam's sleep problems meant that he didn't sleep either. He didn't mind very much because he could avoid his own nightmares, but as much as he didn't want to admit it, he was getting older which meant that exhaustion was starting to get to him faster than it used to.
He pulled his knees up to his body and crossed his arms over his chest. The floor he was sitting on was starting to get uncomfortable and his body was demanding rest, but he was unable to move. He couldn't get rid of the feeling that if he left Sam's door something would happen to him.
It was an irrational fear and Dean knew it. No one knew where the bunker was, and even if they did, they wouldn't be able to enter until one of them opened the door.
Nevertheless, Dean stayed put and guarded his little brother.
"Dean?"
If someone had asked he would have blamed it on being lost in thought or the fact that Sam had left the room too quietly, but Dean actually jumped hearing his name.
"Wow! Relax, it's just me."
Dean looked up at him.
"Sam?" he blinked a few times. "Sammy. Hey."
"Hey? Uhh, Dean, what are you doing here?" Sam asked, confused.
Dean blinked again. He felt as if all his thought processes had shut down.
"I'm sitting," he finally replied, to which Sam rolled his eyes.
"I can see that, Dean, but why?"
He reconsidered, but quickly realized that it probably took him too long to answer because Sam frowned.
"Gosh, you look terrible."
Dean smirked.
"Thanks, you look great too."
Sam snorted then sat down next to his older brother.
"When was the last time you slept?"
Dean sighed.
"Sam."
"Tell me what's going on."
" Sam ."
Sam looked at him. Dean looked away.
"It's about me."
"Sam..."
"You don't sleep because of my nightmares," he realized, and when Dean didn't deny it, it only confirmed it. He sighed.
"Dean, you can't ignore your needs just because I have problems."
Dean shook his head.
"Come on, Sammy. I'm fine, I've done worse," he replied, sending him a confident smile."
But Sam knew his brother. He could see the exhaustion and worry in his eyes, his tense posture.
They were both mentally wrecked, on top of which Sam had the feeling that Dean wasn't telling him something.
But that would come later.
Now he had to deal with his stubborn older brother.
He stood up, Dean looked at him.
"Come on," he began, "we need to get a decent night's sleep. Both of us.
He saw Dean thinking.
Sam knew the older Winchester wouldn't fall asleep until he was safe, just as he knew Dean knew Sam wouldn't give him peace until he took care of himself.
Sam was in a winning position.
Finally, Dean sighed and, with his brother's help, stood up. Sam sent him a smile at which Dean merely rolled his eyes.
The younger man, satisfied, led the older to his room.
Sam snuggled into the pillows and tried to fall asleep, only it was difficult because he was stressed by the vision of more nightmares and how Dean lay next to him terribly tense. He frowned.
"Dean, in case you forgot, when you’re in a bed you should be sleeping" he said, directing at the joking tone, which didn't quite come out because he was worried. He always worried when it came to Dean.
"Mhm..."
He opened his eyes and turned on his side. Dean was lying on his back, picking at the fabric of his T-shirt.
"Dean, what's wrong?"
"Nothing."
He sighed.
" Dean ."
"Sam, I said I'm fine. Drop it," he finally replied. He crossed his arms over his chest and closed his eyes.
Sam sighed again and also closed his eyes, hoping to fall asleep quickly.
"Sam?" he heard after a while.
"Hmm?"
"Can I...um..."
Dean was not good with feelings and Sam knew it.
"Dean, whatever you need to do to calm down, do it. "
He was prepared for anything, but it still surprised him when Dean turned on his side, pulled him close and hid his face in his hair. Sam tensed up, but quickly relaxed. Dean was hugging him.
Dean breathed a sigh of relief when he was sure Sam wouldn't push him away.
"Night, Sammy," he said quietly.
Sam smiled slightly and cuddled up to his brother.
"Good night, Dean."