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She brought her knees to her chest.
When was the last time that she had be afraid? She never once faltered or questioned her skill at Phantom Lord. Maybe...maybe she was weak now. Maybe her abilities weren't as grand as what other had thought.
"Hey." Gray called out to her. "Get out of your head."
She turned her head slightly to look at him.
"Juvia was just-"
"It doesn't matter what is going on in there but its wrong. I can see your doubting yourself. You have no reason too." He said.
He wasn't lying to make her feel better, he rarely lied to her at all. She had no reason to consider herself worthless.
But even when she turned her head back to look at the grass beneath her feet, he could tell she wasn't going to let up. Slowly he reached his arm behind her back and pulled her to him. Suddenly her back was to his chest and she could feel his heart thumping.
"Just relax Juv." He whispered to her and brought her wrist to his lips and placed a kiss there.
"How could Juvia possibly relax when her love is holding her" She thought to herself.
She could hear a slight laugh come from his lips.
"I think you are scared." He said.
"Juvia isn't scared of them." She counted.
"I didn't say of the bad guys."
"Then what."
His arms tightened around her stomach bringing her more into his chest. His face hidden by her hair as his forehead rested against the back of her head. Even though she couldn't see his face, he didn't want her to know that his face was red.
"You are afraid because you finally have something to lose." He said honestly. "I don't think you worried about that in Phantom Lord because you didn't have anything to lose."
Juvia felt her lips quiver. The coldness that traced her spine earlier returned its familiar feeling. She didn't want to admit that he was right. She spent her entire life never needing anyone, never having someone to wish her well at the end of the day. Even her guild mates wouldn't bat an eyes when she walked in bloodied and bruised. Her life was expendable but she was good at being important for just the right people.
And now? Now she had a family. She had friends that would call her to see how her day was when she saw them that morning. A scrape on her leg could turn the guild hall into a frenzy to make sure she was okay. Her magic was apart of her, not the only reason she had a purpose. To was almost overwhelming for the water mage.
"Juvia...Juvia isn't afraid of that." She whimpered.
"Really?" Gray breathed out. "Because I am terrified of it. Scared that I'll turn around one day and the guild will be nothing but a distant memory. Scared that another person gone is just another tally mark for the people I've already lost. Its okay to be scared Juvia. It means that you are human and that you love. And I think you love harder than anyone I've ever met so I know that you are petrified."
Her hands began to shake and tears clouded her eyes. Gray's hands came over hers and he intertwined their fingers together.
"You're right Gray." She nearly cried. "Juvia's never felt this-this warmth before. Its breathtaking and wonderful and shes scared that she will snuffed it out like all those times before. It was easier to be back there in Phantom Lord. Easier to be ignored and hated because then fear couldn't control you. And now? Now Juvia's heart is full of people and its better than anything she could of imagined. But that means that it can be taken away and destroyed."
"You can't let the fear of losing someone stop you from loving them." He said unsure if it was only for her to hear. He swallowed and turned his head to some flowers that were growing at the base of the tree. "Its hard at first. Why keep going if everyone is going to leave you? Why fight hard if its easy to fall? I think after all these years I understand why we have to get through the pain."
"Why's that?" She asked.
"Because although losing someone is sad and it hurts.” He huffed. “The memories and joy that we have with them is greater. There was a time where I had wished that I had never met people of my past because then I wouldn’t have to feel this pain. But when I close my eyes and think of them, I see us smiling and being happy. So even if you ever lose someone, you have to promise me that you will remember how you lived with them, not how you lost them.”
Juvia turned in his lap to face him. Tears dripped from her eyes and a light shower came down around the area. He was sure anyone walking around was probably going to be come annoyed with the sudden shower, but it was beautiful to him.
She leaned forward and placed a kiss to his temple. “Juvia promises. But she doesn’t want to think about the possibility of losing you. For now, she will focus on loving you.”
His own eyes started to become misty. To have someone openly say that they wanted to love and cherish him was not something he was used to.
“Juvia, I-” She placed her finger on his lips.
“Juvia knows, my love.” She nodded and a small smile graced her lips.
While she was afraid of losing, he was secretly afraid of loving. How could he tell her to remember who you loved when he was scared to give it and have it ripped away.
Juvia stood and walked a few feet away to wipe her eyes.
No. He was done being scared. Losing is what is scary. Never holding someone again is painful. What is worst is when you never held them at all.
“Juvia.” He called out to her as he stood.
She turned and her eyes widen as he was right in front of her. His hand came around to her waist and pulled her forward as his lips met hers. She instantly melted to him and her arms came around his neck. They fit perfectly against each other as if all their suffering in the past was to bring them together.
The broke for air and she pressed her face in his chest to hide the redness of her cheeks. They had kissed many times before but it felt different. More urgent and longing than anything else.
“Hey.” He whispered and tilted her chin up. “I love you Juvia.”
Her eyes widened again and he swore the sun broke through the clouds.
Her lips began to tremble so he leaned in and kissed her again.
“I think losing you would absolutely destroy me. There would be no hope for me if I could never see you again. But if I don’t love you for everything that you are and everything that you deserve, then I would have no right to be in anguish.” Gray said.
“Then let us love each other so when we do have to say goodbye one day, it can be after years of having each other.” She smiled.
“That sounds perfect, Juv.”