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As soon as he was dismissed, Bashir made straight for Garak’s shop. He entered the promenade on the upper level, just as he had in the Dominion simulation. It was irrational to think he’d see Garak right there, waiting for him as he did before, but he looked for him anyway.
Doctor, welcome back!
Why, thank you, Garak. It’s good to be back!
He felt partially relieved when he didn’t find him. He made his way down to the lower level, and picked up the pace when he had the shop in his sights.
I have to be sure, he told himself. I have to know he’s okay.
He froze when he caught sight of him. Garak was putting a scarf on a mannequin in the window, alive and safe.
Of course he’s safe. Why wouldn’t he be?
He should turn around and go back to his quarters, at least to shower and change. But his legs had an agenda of their own.
He stopped in the doorway.
“Doctor!” Garak exclaims. “I just got word of your return.” He ran an appraising eye over Bashir, taking note of his state but gracefully not saying anything.
“Thank you, Garak, it’s good to be back,” he echoed. “Business keeping you busy?” He wanted to see how the conversation would play out. Of course, it wouldn’t be the exact same, but his brain was intent on playing spot the difference.
“Quite busy. I’ve had four commissions in one day,” he said conversationally as he moved closer. Unlike the simulation, the real Garak didn’t even mention the “spy business.”
How could he have possibly fallen for such a poor mock up of the real thing?
“I heard your trip to the gamma quadrant was… eventful,” He continued.
“That’s definitely one way to describe it.” Bashir looked away from Garak’s piercing gaze. He didn’t even need to speak to ask a question, and Bashir could hear it in the silence.
He wondered if the real Garak had been just as concerned for his safety, or missed him just as much as the simulated Garak.
Doctor, I’m afraid…I won’t be able to have lunch with you today.
Bashir shook himself from his thoughts, to see Garak with a concerned look.
“Doctor, are you alright?”
“What? Yeah- Everything is fine.” He gave him a smile that didn’t reach his eyes and Garak seemed to scrutinize him even more.
“I should probably let you get some rest, but how about we meet for lunch tomorrow?”
“That would be nice. How about 1200 hours?”
~~~
He really did try to sleep, but the image of Garak slumped against the corridor wall was burned into his head. He kept replaying the events in the simulation, trying to find anything that should have been a dead giveaway.
Besides the whole damn situation, of course.
Garak was never that forthright. He would never admit that he missed Bashir, or that he was concerned for his safety. Maybe he had really wanted it to be true.
The feeling as Sisko had dragged him away from Garak, knowing there was nothing he could do to save him, and the numbness he felt as they escaped in the runabout haunted him.
He sat up and ran his hands through his hair. Garak was fine, everyone was safe, and none of it had been real.
But it felt so real.
Would he know if he was still in the simulation right now? That was a very uncomfortable thought.
Before he knew what he was doing, he was on his was to Garak’s quarters.
~~~
He pressed the door chime.
What am I doing? He thought, It’s almost midnight!
Garak was probably asleep by this hour, and now he was being ridiculous and-
Garak opened the door.
“Doctor? He asked, wearing a confused expression. Garak seemed to take in Bashir’s emotional state. “Do come in.”
“Thank you, Garak, I’m sorry for bothering you at this hour.”
Garak waved a hand. “There’s no need to be. I was just working on something for a customer.”
His room looked mostly the same as the last time he had been there, except for a few rearranged pieces of furniture.
Garak pulled up a chair to face his own. “Please, sit.”
Bashir did, and Garak headed over to the replicator. “Tea?”
“I’m alright, thank you.” Garak ordered his own, and took a seat in front of him. “What brings you here, Doctor?”
“You died,” He blurted out stupidly.
Garak blinked in surprise, and looked down at himself.
“Forgive me, but I do seem to be very much alive,” he quipped.
Bashir sighed. Am I even supposed to be saying this? Garak would have found the mission reports sooner or later, so it didn’t really matter either way, he decided.
“Well- not really. It was a simulation.”
“I see.”
“We had thought we had made it back to the station, but it turned out the crew of the Defiant had all been hooked up to a simulation.”
“How fascinating,” Garak said, leaning forward in his seat. “What an effective way to gain information.”
“It was- it felt very real,” he continued. “But things got messy in the simulation, and… you were helping us escape,” he could see it in his mind, still clear as day. “We had made it to the docking ring, and you fooled the jem’hadar soldiers by pretending you had betrayed us. You shot them, and you would’ve made it if you hadn’t stopped to make a stupid crack about having read that somewhere in a book.”
Bashir hadn’t realized he was shaking. He was no longer telling a story, he was reliving it; seeing play before his eyes. “You were shot. I watched you die, and there was nothing I could do. We had to leave… I had to leave you there…” He was snapped back to reality when he felt a hand on his arm.
“You do not have to continue, I can see this is distressing you.”
“I’m sorry,” Bashir said, just realizing he was shaking.
“You do not need to apologize.” Bashir looked at him.
“Your last words… I never had a chance to say it back.”
Something flashed across Garak’s face, maybe it was surprise, or something else.
“Well,” Garak said softly, “now, you have the chance.”
“I would miss having lunch with you too.”
“Those were my last words?” Garak drew back suddenly. “Out of all the things I could have said… I really must have been caught off guard.”
Bashir couldn’t help but feel a little amused at Garak’s dissatisfaction.
The Cardassian shook his head. “Well, not that it matters. You’re here now, with me, and we’re safe.”
“Yeah,” Bashir said, looking out the window as the wormhole opened, basking the room in a swirl of colors. “We are now.”