Chapter Text
Wake up in a cold sweat at five in the morning, barely conscious but heart beating out of control. Cram in one and a half hours of studying until breakfast was ready. Eat a tasteless meal, rush off to school with a smile, feign interest in class for eight hours, participate in the archery club for an hour nearly every day, attend to any and all class representative duties, study during cram school for three more hours, go back home to another tasteless meal. Homework for three hours. Abandon all responsibilities for an hour on Nightcord, try to fall asleep to the faint bubbling sound of a fishless fish tank, and prepare to do it all over the next day without even a word of complaint.
If she knew nothing else, Mafuyu knew this schedule would stay consistent. Unchanging as long as she was under her mother’s watchful eye. As soon as the clock hit 1:00AM, she could finally let down her guard—the only solace when everyone and everything expected nothing short of a perfectly executed façade. Asahina Mafuyu, the kindhearted, generous honor student with perfect grades, a natural beauty, and a sports genius. A reliable upperclassman to look up to. A genius peer who always knew the right answers to any question you could think of. The kind of person that any high school student could only dream of being.
But on Nightcord, none of that mattered. Kanade, the one who was destined to save her at any cost; Ena, the narcissistic, talentless artist that yearned to be someone of worth someday; Mizuki, the free-spirited yet distant delinquent obsessed with everything cute. The three of them could save her, Mafuyu had forced herself to believe. If not them, then–...
“Mafuyu, dear? Your dinner’s going to get cold,” A cold voice interrupted the girl’s thoughts. Mafuyu’s mother was glancing up at her with a concerned yet smiling expression.
“Ah…” Mafuyu carefully replaced her thoughtful expression with a radiant grin. “I apologize! I must have gotten a bit caught up in thought… Tonight’s dinner looks far too delicious to start spacing out, haha! Thank you for the meal, mother,” Mafuyu laughed, willing herself to take a spoonful of miso soup. The flavor was the same as always—nothing more than water with an added texture. It was sickening, but could change the blandness of every dish her mother carefully made for her. And, of course, to complain would be unthinkable.
“Of course, Mafuyu. I’m sure this will give you the energy to do great on next week’s exam. I made it just the way you like it,” her mother replied. Mafuyu paused, as if she needed time to process a difference in the soup’s taste.
“Right, it’s just perfect! I can’t thank you enough for everything you’ve done for me. I’m sure exams will fly right on by with food like this to look forward to.”
“Ah, while we’re on the subject,” Mafuyu’s mother continued. “In order to help get you in the mindset to study, I went up to your room to help clean.” Mafuyu hesitantly glanced up from her meal with a nod. “Well! While I was up there, I couldn’t help but to notice this… messaging platform open on your computer. Something along the lines of ‘Nightcord,’ if I’m remembering correctly. Is there anything you would like to tell me about that, dear?”
Mafuyu swore that she could feel her heart stop, if only for a second. It was more than enough for her mother to notice the slipping of a mask, one that her daughter desperately tried to put back on before anything else could be revealed. She couldn’t afford to lose them. Not now. Not ever . Not when she was so close to finally finding herself.
“It was recommended to me by a classmate for a group project. We were trying to organize a way to work more effectively together outside of school, and came across this app.” With a grin so wide that it nearly hurt, Mafuyu could only hope that she came across as convincing enough.
“You were holding some sort of conversation about music, Mafuyu. I know that you aren’t in any courses that would require that sort of discussion to take place.” Her mother’s expressions turned far more serious. “Either this application is a hindrance to your studying, or there’s something more that I’m still not understanding here. Either way, I would really appreciate it if you would be honest with me.”
“I don’t understand what you mean, mother…” An instantaneous response. One so practiced that it came out as muscle memory rather than a conscious thought. “They must have been talking quite a bit while I was away, haha! I promise this hasn’t gotten in the way of my studies in any w—”
“Mafuyu. Answer me truthfully. You’ve been acting… different than usual, lately. It’s worrying me, to be quite honest with you.” Though her mother’s glance remained steady, her tone was venomous. “On that day that you completely disregarded attending the mock exam, did these ‘classmates,’ as you said, have anything to do with it?”
With a smile, Mafuyu’s mother patiently awaited the girl’s response. One that took far too long to come. Mafuyu felt as if she was choking from the sheer weight of the situation at hand. Her mother couldn’t have found out already. It was far too soon everything to come crashing down on her. The Asahina house fell silent until Mafuyu finally responded.
“I–... don’t know. I don’t know. I really… don’t know.”
The mask fully slipped off of Mafuyu’s senseless face, shattering onto the ground into thousands of unrecoverable pieces. Her eyes began to dull as her expression dropped and she felt her thoughts all blurring into one. She couldn’t keep this up. Mafuyu couldn’t force herself to lie to her mother. Not when she was staring right at her, knowing more than Mafuyu ever thought was possible for her to know. Her throat constricted with a burning, suffocating pain as she choked out the words, “I’m… I’m sorry, mother.”
“There’s no need to apologize, Mafuyu.” The mother clasped her hands together, smile widening even further. “I’ve already taken the liberty of moving that computer out of your room. It doesn’t need to be a burden to you anymore. Tomorrow, make sure to ask your group members for their cell phone numbers. If you have that Nightcord app anywhere else, I want you to delete it as soon as you can. I trust that you’ll listen to your mother-…”
Mafuyu couldn’t hear another word said that night. Every syllable, sentence, demand, story, all melded into one useless heap of nonsense that left her no choice but to nod and smile. Nod. Smile. Every single word was as fascinating as the last, producing a strong emotional reaction. Happy, then sad, then surprised. Every conversation was the same as the last. Unintelligible. Pointless.
Finally alone in her room, lights turned off, with no sound save the aquarium’s endless bubbling, Mafuyu opened her phone. Nightcord had 5 missed notifications, despite it being fairly early on in the night. Mafuyu’s best guess was either Enanan asking for praise of her art, or Amia finding some new obsession to rave over for the next three days.
…how annoying .
In a blind execution of her mother’s orders, Mafuyu immediately deleted the app off of her phone. For a moment, she allowed herself to consider her actions. What would the other three think if Mafuyu went radio silent again? How long would it take them to realize something was wrong? Did it really even matter, in the grand scheme of things? Maybe her mother had a point. The future is all that matters.
Nightcord, at its center, was nothing more than a distraction to Asahina Mafuyu. While it may have served as a distraction from the monotonous torture of the girl’s everyday life, it was inevitably a violation of her mother’s expectations of her. A good girl wouldn’t stay up late making music with strangers she met online. A good girl should be sleeping at 1:00AM.
…and, right now, a good girl should be studying for the next two hours. 9PM until 11PM, then sleep from 11PM until 5AM, wake up in a cold sweat, and-
Study. You need to study now .
Taking out a textbook, pen, and a notebook, Mafuyu began her familiar routine without a word of complaint. Certainly, this was how things were supposed to be.