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Sky was sitting on the couch in the living room, his thoughts on Prapai. He could tell that something was bothering his lover, he just had no idea what it could be.
They had gone out with Phayu and Rain the night before, and Sky had picked up on an uneasiness from Prapai.
He tried to speak to him about it that morning before Pai went to the office for a file he needed, but he quickly reassured Sky that it was nothing.
It was Saturday, and Sky had hoped to spend the rest of the day with Pai after he finished the report he was busy with.
Unfortunately, the older man needed the documents he forgot at the office, which meant that he would finish his work later than he had planned.
Sky was trying his best not to sulk when he heard the key card being activated, the door opened a few seconds later.
"Sorry, that took longer than I hoped, honey." Prapai said as he entered their condo and placed the file on the kitchen table. "My dad was busy in his office and cornered me before I could slip out. He sends his love."
"No problem P'Pai." Sky stood up and hugged Prapai before they both sat down on the couch.
"P'Pai, please tell me what is troubling you." Sky placed a delicate finger over his boyfriend's mouth when he started to protest.
"I know you, my love." Sky was still having trouble using pet names, but he thought that Pai might be more forthcoming if he used the term of endearment.
From the surprised look on his face, Sky knew it worked.
"You know you can tell me anything, right?" Sky continued, hoping to get to the bottom of whatever was troubling the older man.
"It's nothing, it's stupid."
Sky was even more worried now, Prapai sounded unsure of himself, and Pai was never insecure about anything.
"It's not nothing if it hurts you, please P'Pai, tell me. Maybe I can help."
"I'm jealous," Prapai said simply, not elaborating any further.
Sky didn't know what he had expected, but it was not that.
"You're jealous? Of what? Sorry P'Pai, I'm confused. Please go on."
Prapai moved away slightly on the couch, leaving some room between them, and Sky hated it. It felt like a chasm growing between them.
"Sky, I will tell you, but you have to listen to me carefully. It is not your fault."
That did not do anything to help Sky feel better, but he nodded his head slowly and promised to keep an open mind.
Prapai sighed heavily before he pulled Sky against him, letting him rest his head against his chest. He couldn't look his boyfriend in the eyes while he spoke.
"I felt jealous last night while I watched Phayu and Rain. They are very open to public displays of affection. I lost count of the number of times Phayu kissed Rain or touched him intimately."
Prapai felt Sky stiffen against him and he hated himself a little bit. "Baby, listen to me. I understand your aversion, I respect the boundaries you have had to put in place. And I would never force you to do anything you're not comfortable with in public."
Prapai lifted the younger man's head to look into his eyes. He hated the self-loathing he found there, and he hated himself for putting it there.
He knew he needed to continue, to get everything out in the open. It was the only way they would be able to get past the small hurdle he had placed in their path.
"I guess I'm feeling a little touch starved when we're in public, but it's my problem. You have nothing to feel ashamed of."
Prapai knew that he needed to lighten the mood, to get Sky's mind away from the self-loathing he was punishing himself with.
"It gives me something to look forward to when we're alone when I can touch you all I want."
Sky tried to smile at Prapai, but he felt terrible. Pai was the best person he had ever met. He was perfect in every way.
He had saved Sky in more ways than he would ever realise. And Sky felt horrible for not being able to give him what he needed in public.
The mere thought of kissing in public sent Sky into a panic. Months of Gun calling him a whore and worse every time he even tried to hold his hand in public had Sky feeling physically ill when he even thought about PDA.
"I'm sorry P'Pai." That was all the younger man could offer at that stage, and they both knew it.
"My Sky, please, you have nothing to be sorry for. I shouldn't have said anything, it's really not a big deal, please baby. Can you look at me?" Prapai felt like an asshole for making Sky feel the way he did.
Sky slowly met his eyes, and Pai never wanted to take back anything as much as he wanted to take back the conversation they had just had.
"I love you Sky, more than anything. And I am so thankful to have you by my side, you make my life complete. Please, believe me, this is not a big deal, I swear. I'm so sorry I made you feel sad, I never want to be the reason you feel bad about yourself."
Sky leaned in to kiss his boyfriend, he still felt bad, but he could see how much it hurt P'Pai. They would get past it, he knew that much.
"I love you too, my P'Black Giant."
***
Things did return to normal within a few days. Sky felt less guilty as time went by. Prapai made sure to let Sky know that he loved him exactly the way he was.
Sky however did some research, and found something he wanted to try with Prapai.
He waited until they were settling in for the night before he brought it up.
"P'Pai, I read an interesting article the other day. I think it's something we could try, if you're willing."
Sky sounded unsure even to his own ears. Prapai turned to face him, placing his hand on Sky's waist as they lay facing each other.
"I'm intrigued, please tell me, honey."
"In the article, the lady mentioned that her husband didn't like showing affection in public. They invented something like a secret code."
"Three taps mean 'I love you'. Every time they're out in public and she needs reassurance she will tap three times on a part of his body and only he knows about it. He can then reciprocate without anyone knowing."
Sky blushed at the wide smile on his lover's face. "That sounds wonderful, and you're willing to try it?" Prapai asked cautiously, not willing to do anything that would make Sky even the least bit uncomfortable.
Sky gave Pai a big smile as he nodded enthusiastically. "I think it could maybe lead to me becoming more open to PDA in the long run."
"I think it's brilliant, thank you, my love. Thank you for being open to trying it, but if it makes you uncomfortable..."
Prapai stopped short when he felt three light taps on his ass. He smirked as he climbed on top of his lover, this could turn out to be the best plan Sky had ever come up with.