Chapter Text
The Wildlife on Tracy Island with Gorvid Tracyborough
Gordon Tracy was standing on Meteo Island with a video camera, videoing Tracy Island.
Tracy Island, home to the world’s best rescue organisation. What manner of creatures dwell on this lonely island in the middle of nowhere? I am Gorvid Tracyborough, and if you come with me we will seek to find out.
Gordon returned to Tracy Island to find three of the island’s creatures in the den, hiding just out of sight of his older brother’s, he focused the camera at Scott.
Here we have a Scooterus SmotherHenus in its natural environment, clucking over all the other creatures on the island. SmotherHenus like flying, skydiving and protecting whatever it sees as its chicks from harm - any harm. To tell what type of mood a SmotherHenus is in you go by the cluck-o-metre, if a SmotherHenus in full cluck mode it will try and sit on the chick it’s protecting, while trying to kill what’s threatening it or attempt to lay an egg trying. There are very few things short of a tranquilliser dart that can calm a SmotherHenus in full cluck.
Gordon focused the camera on John talking to Virgil.
If you look over here you will see a rare sighting of the Starmanus SpaceTrashus, the only ginger nut on the island. SpaceTrashus prefers to live in a zero gravity environment, as living in gravity environment makes him as clumsy as a newborn. The SpaceTrashus are normally found near telescopes and, while not being very social, communication devices. SpaceTrashus have been known reproduce unpredictable artificial intelligence at times.
Next to the Spacetrashus, is the Virgus TheSurgeus, the most creative (other than yours truly) of the creatures on Tracy Island, also the most exposed, according to the life studies art students in Denver. A gentle creature for its size, TheSurgeus can be dangerous when riled or woken before midday. TheSurgeus is one of the only two creatures on the Island that can calm down the SmotherHenus when it is in full cluck mode.
Gordon looked about the room for Alan, finding that his only younger brother was not in the room.
Now we are looking for the Sproutus SpacePupus which could be anywhere on the island. SpacePupuses love sleep and video games, but they are also known to be very curious creatures, prone to get themselves in all sorts of mischief, much to the horror of the SmotherHenus.
Gordon finally found Alan sparing with Kayo in the gym.
Ah, here’s the SpacePupus, and he is with the Kayous KnockYourAssOutus, the most dangerous creature on the Island. Seriously, KnockYourAssOutus will try to kill you if you get on its bad side. The KnockYourAssOutus has a weakness for the SpacePupus, however, so if you do have a problem with the KnockYourAssOutus, pray you have a SpacePupus handy and the KnockYourAssOutus is not mad with it, and throw the SpacePupus at the KnockYourAssOutus. If all goes well the SpacePupus will calm down the KnockYourAssOutus, and while the SpacePupus might be mad at you for a while afterwards, it is a lot easier to handle than the KnockYourAssOutus.
After getting enough footage of Kayo and Alan sparing, and wondering how the Sprout wasn’t getting himself knocked out, Gordon wandered down to the hangers to find Brains.
Deep in the bowels of Tracy Island is the mobile lair of the Engineerus Brainsus, the closest thing to intelligence (other than myself of course) on this island. Brainsus are often seen with a robot creature known as Maxus, and they build and maintain most of the equipment on the island.
Now to see if Grandma was in the kitchen, a part of Gordon hoped she wasn’t.
We are now entering the most dangerous area on the island, the lair of Grandmaus Can’tCookus, the oldest creature on the island. If Can’tCookus spots you while attempting to cremate its lair, it will force you to eat whatever it has created – which is instant food poisoning, to the un-
“Gordon what are you doing?” Scott asked from behind him.
Gordon turned around, to find Scott, John and Virgil standing behind him. “Uh, hi fellas,” Gordon replied as Virgil snatched the video camera out of his hands and passed it to John.
Seeing that his older brothers were distracted by what John was doing and it would only be moments before they would playback his footage, Gordon figured it would be a good idea to get well out of hitting range before they heard what he had said about them.
A couple of hours later…
Here we have the Gordus IsDeadus, which is currently engaged in cleaning down every single ‘bird and pod on Tracy Island with the smallest toothbrush we could find. The IsDeadus better hope that this is the last documentary made about the people on this island, or we will throw him to the - what did he call Kayo? Oh that’s right - the KnockYourAssOutus and have it pass judgment on him.