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"Elias?"
Klay was back in the fictional world and was utterly surprised at the man in front of her. She was just trying to find her way to Simoun and Basilio because she lost them when the commotion happened; the commotion led by the tulisanes. She was hiding behind a carriage when Elias mistakenly took her as an ordinary woman he was trying to save.
"Buhay ka pa!" Klay could not hide her happiness and hugged the man. Elias, on the other hand, was shocked at the sudden gesture. "Teka lang, hindi ba't patay ka na? Kabisado ko na yung El Fili—"
Elias pulled her and dragged her to hide behind a building.
"Binibini, mamaya na tayo mag-usap. Nasa gitna tayo ng kaguluhan at lubos na mapanganib kung mananatili ka pa rito." Elias then instructed her, "Tahakin mo ang daang ito. May makikita kang puno ng mangga at pumunta ka roon. Ipapasunod ko si Lucia at siya ang magdadala sa iyo sa kuta."
Klay, though confused by the situation, silently nodded and heeded Elias' order. Silently making her way through the forest.
When Klay saw Lucia approaching, she was waving her phone with its flashlight on to let her know where she was. Klay jumped at Lucia in an embrace to which the woman returned warmly.
"Kay tagal na nang huli kitang nakita, Binibini." Lucia holding Klay's hand. "Kamusta ka naman?"
Klay was quite emotional with the question because although she saw her just last week, it was years for them. She squeezed her hand gently, "Maayos naman."
She was nostalgic seeing Lucia. She remembered the very first time they met. The very first friend she made. She grew her hair and her stance a bit bolder and stronger than the last time she saw her. She's happy that Lucia found her this time.
"Halika na, Binibini, at magtungo na tayo sa kuta. Susunod na rin sina Elias roon." Lucia motioned for them to start moving, and Klay followed suit.
When they reached the camp, Klay was stunned to see that it was more huge than before. There were a lot of people now. She could see huts from all around the area. It was as if the fire is blazing brightly for the Filipinos and Klay felt pride seeing this. Seeing how dedicated and passionate these people are in fighting for Inang Bayan, for freedom. It was beautiful, she thought.
Lucia offered Klay dinner. She sat among the children who's also eating. She was silently watching everybody, waiting for someone.
She knew he was going to be here. Before she left, they were welcomed to stay with Lucia and all the others. So, she thought that it is not impossible for him to camp and stay here as well. She was racking her brain about what their reunion would be. Would he still recognize me? How would he react when he sees me? Does he still look the same? Is he still the same annoying guy I remembered? Is he okay?
Her train of thoughts was cut off when Elias and his team. They were carrying high caliber guns and Klay shivered at the sight of it. She stood and was looking over to the bunch of men arriving. Elias approached her.
"Maligayang pagbabalik, binibini. Ilang taon na rin ang nakalipas," Elias looked at her meaningfully as if he remembered a core memory of her. "At oo, buhay ako."
Klay still can't believe her eyes, "Oo nga eh, akala ko nga teggy ka na kasi wala ka naman sa El Fi—" She pursed her lips when she saw the confused expression on Elias' face. She's thankful she caught herself before she could say ridiculous things. "Ang ibig kong sabihin ay, masaya akong makita kang muli."
Elias smiled and left her to join the other men in fixing and hiding their weapons. Klay turned her attention to the rest of the men approaching. She was extending her next just to check if the man she's waiting and looking for is with them. She's about to give up when he appeared.
Her heart skipped a beat.
He was not what she hoped he would be. He grew his hair. His stance is bolder than before, and tan is painted on his skin. Gone were the suits, shirts, and shoes. He is walking in his camisa and a pair of sandals, looking so simple. Very far from the proud and elegant Fidel she knew before. She could not deny the fact that she likes this Fidel more. He's hot, she thought.
She wanted to approach him but how? Should she hug him and tell him she missed him? Or should she just walk up to him and tell him she's back? Would he still care? Would he remember? Would he be happy to see her?
Then, their eyes met. It was magnetic that Klay can't take her eyes off. Fidel made his way to her. It was slow and steady like he knows he is bound to go to her any time. Klay smiled brightly at him. When they were face to face, Fidel took off his hat and bowed to her.
"Binibini."
Klay swore she almost cried, not because of nostalgia or bliss, but of pain. That one word was enough to make her feel the piercing pang of coldness in her skin. No warmth of welcome or smile that came, just plain and simple. There's no more joy or pleasure on it. It was dull. It was lifeless. She felt her heart break at the sight of the man who's looking at her with no emotions at all. His eyes that used to glow when they're together are now blank and void of any emotion. It's as if they are strangers again.
"Ginoo" is all she muttered before he passed by her and left her. She felt like her world lost its sun. She felt weak. She felt her resolve crumbling down. She wanted to see how he's doing, and she did, but something inside of her was hoping for something more.
"Naging mailap si Fidel sa lahat." Lucia spoke from behind. "Isang araw sumulpot nalang siya rito akay-akay ang sugatang Elias. Simula noon, naging magkasangga na silang dalawa sa pag-aalsa."
"Walang araw na nakita kong nagdamdam si Fidel. Ni minsan ay hindi ko siya nakitang tumawa, ngumiti, o umiyak. Walang bahid ng kahit anong nararamdaman." Lucia looked at her. "Maraming dalaga ang nagbakasali, ngunit lahat ay kanyang tinanggihan sapagkat aniya'y ang pag-ibig nalang natira sa kanya ay ang pag-ibig sa bayan."
Klay didn't notice that she was already crying upon hearing what Lucia said. Seeing this, Lucia thought Klay needed to be alone.
Fidel was stripped of everything: family, wealth, connection. She was the only one he had at that time, and she left. She left him alone in the dark, and now darkness ate him alive.
She walked up to him to talk. "Fidel, maaari ba tayong mag-usap?"
Fidel turned to her way and stared at her for a while. He was as if trying to decide on whether he would talk to her or not.
After what it seems like forever he replied, "Para saan pa?"
His voice is so eerily cold that it sent chills down her spine. There was no hint of annoyance nor welcome, it was indifferent. Like they didn't even meet before, like they did not share something beautiful before. She's got to admit that it hurts seeing him like this. This is not the Fidel I used to know.
"Anong nangyari sa'yo?" Klay can't help but pry, "Hindi ka naman ganyan noon."
He didn't answer and just kept staring at her. Klay, on the other hand, is getting frustrated with his demeanor. She hates his unfazed expression, or more like, she hates to admit that she is one of the reasons why he became this distant.
"Ano ba magsalita ka naman!" She can't help but raise her voice. "Para naman akong timang rito. Hello? Naging close rin naman siguro tayo dati kay—"
"Ang kaginhawaan at karangyaan ay napalitan ng pighati at kasawian," Fidel cuts her off. "Inalay ko lahat pero naubos lang ako. Sumugal pero natalo. Wala ng natira sa akin."
He looks away. "Ayokong balikan ang mga masasayang alaala ng kahapon sapagkat masasaktan lamang ako sa katotohanang hindi ko na maibabalik pa iyon. Pagod na akong magpanggap na maayos ang lahat. Naging malinaw sa akin ang paghihirap at paghihingalo ng ating bayan, kaya sinumpa kong lalaban ako para sa kinabukasan."
He breathes deep. "Nawalan na ng puwang sa aking puso ang pansariling ambisyon, bagkus ay napalitan ng paghihimagsik sa bayan. Binaon ko sa limot ang lahat ng nakaugnay sa aking nakaraan kaya," He then stares into her eyes as if searching for her soul, "sa labintatlong taon na nakalipas, sa tingin mo ba walang nagbago?"
His words like daggers pierced through her heart. It's hard to process anything. She was sure of going back to the book and saving her friends, but she is now questioning it herself. It may have been a week for her, but to them, it was an agonizing 13 years. She left and it felt like yesterday, but to them what happened in Noli Me Tangere felt like a distant memory bound to forget.
And Fidel. The man whom she loved despite the cursed fate of their worlds, now indifferent to her. He took a step back and left her. Her vision blurs and the only words that echoes in her ears are,
sa labintatlong taon na nakalipas, sa tingin mo ba walang nagbago?