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He wasn't jealous.
Nope.
He wasn't.
For a couple reasons.
First and foremost, he was Pina. A shining star, both on and off the stage, handsome, beautiful, and wanted by all in the school, with some very rare exceptions.
His wool was soft as silk and clouds, and his horns were truly a magnificent sight to behold. So why should he be jealous of Tem: plain, ordinary, behind the scenes Tem?
Answer, he shouldn't.
He wasn't.
Second, he had known about Riz and Tem's history from the start. They'd been friends first, dated second, broken up before Pina had even transferred to this school, and decided and somehow managed to stay good friends.
He'd known it because Riz had told him before they'd started dating, in that brief period they had been just friends. He'd brought it up again when they'd started dating, asked if he had a problem with it. And because he didn't want to start drama at the literal very start of their relationship, and because he had no reason to care, because it wasn't like Tem could take Riz back from him, he said no, with a winning smile, no he didn't have a problem with that.
And Riz had smiled brightly, so it had been the right thing to say.
So what was he feeling then, as he looked at Riz and Tem, laughing together at the end of the hall?
"Who even stays close with their exes anyway?" he mumbled under his breath. Staying close to people you'd dated was just asking for trouble, wasn't it? Anyone you dated after that was bound to feel anxious, weren't they? They were bound to doubt, and be unhappy, and then have to choose between starting drama and burying it down.
How selfish. What was he supposed to think, when he happened to lean over while he was with Riz, and saw that his boyfriend was texting Tem? What was he supposed to feel, when he knocked on Riz's door to suprise his boyfriend by arriving unplanned, only for fucking TEM to open the door?
"Pina. Are you alright?" The slow, almost sleepy tone that asked this question was unmistakable, and he turned to address it.
"Legoshi, of course I'm alright. Why do you ask?"
The gray wolf loomed over him. Why did carnivores get to grow so huge? It was ridiculous.
He was flanked by his usual groupies, Louis the school star before he came along and snatched that from him, Juno, the other wolf, and only one currently a threat to his chance at Beastar, the dwarf rabbit Haru, who was basically the girl version of him, but caught shit for it due to the fact that she was a girl, the golden retriever whose name always escaped him even though he was pretty sure it was something super basic, and random others that Pina recognized from the theater club.
"I see polygamy is really working out for you."
It was a joke (not a joke) he made often, since Legoshi seemed to be unwittingly amassing a harem without even trying. Also, the deer and rabbit were both definitely into him, and he was definitely interested in both of them back, so it was the only conceivable way it was going to work out of all three of them.
Louis looked scandalized, but Haru laughed. It was an adorable laugh. Pina could easily see how she charmed so many animals.
Legoshi looked away and started stammering awkwardly. It was also adorable.
"I told you to stop saying stuff like that."
"Like what?" he prompted, winking at the cute rabbit.
"You're just trying to avoid my question." the gray wolf accused. He was pretty perceptive despite his whole, I'm probably about to fall asleep, tone and posture.
"Did you ask me a question?"
Pina cocked his head, pretending to have forgotten.
"I asked-"
Legoshi was cut off by the bell a second later, and Pina gave an apologetic shrug. "Sorry, gotta get to class. See you after school!"
He turned to make a hasty getaway, but didn't make it more than a few steps before being blocked by a familiar looking wall.
"Hey. Ready for class?"
Pina smothered what he really wanted to say, Oh, I'm good enough to talk to now? down and smiled at his boyfriend, who had somehow managed to sneak up behind him despite being one of the tallest and biggest animals that went to this school.
At least Tem hadn't trailed after him. Pina spotted the alpaca still at the end of the hall, talking to the female alpaca whose name Pina had yet to learn. He must have felt Pina's eyes on him, because he looked over, and they locked eyes.
A rush of something he still couldn't identify shot through him, and he grabbed Riz by the shirt and pulled him down so he could kiss him on the cheek. It was a bit of a maneuver, since Riz was so much taller than him, but since the bear willingly let himself be pulled, he was able to manage it.
Riz smiled, apparently pleased with the spontaneous show of affection, which did make Pina feel about bad about the reason behind it. He looked to see if Tem had witnessed the kiss, but the alpaca had looked away.
"Get to class!" A teacher shouted, directing it mostly in their direction.
After school, everyone was gathered in the theater. They were less then half a month away from their next opening night, and had started practicing and setting up on stage.
Everything was going well, until Pina stepped up to start practicing his part. He could hear the stagehands up above him, setting up lighting and props, and see his costars waiting eagerly for him to start his performance.
He had barely opened his mouth to start, when someone screamed from above him. He looked up, eyes widening as he saw something large coming down on top of him. There was no time for Pina to react, to scream, dodge, anything. All he had time to do was close his eyes and cover his head with his arms and brace for the impact.
But then there was a force, and an impact from a side he was not expecting. He hit the ground, losing all his air, but otherwise seemingly fine. He blinked his eyes open, looking around to figure out what had happened. To his surprise, Riz was there next to him.
"Oh my God, are you guys alright?!" someone shouted, just as Pina pieced together what had happened. The stage hands in the rafters up above had dropped a prop, it lay there only a few feet away, right where he had been standing, and Riz, who had been standing just off stage watching him, had tackled him, safely getting him out of the way.
His classmates and their teacher clammered worriedly, surrounding them in a circle. Somebody pushed to the front of the circle, the last animal he wanted to see.
"I'm so sorry, Pina! M-my hand slipped, and- are you okay? I'm so sorry!" Tem blathered, and Pina felt his blood start to boil as he took the words in. Even though he was shaking from the adrenaline, he stood up, narrowing his eyes in a glare, and stepped closer to the other boy.
"Your hand slipped? You had one job, to set up a prop, and you couldn't even do it!?" The animals around them froze in shock, obviously not sure how to respond to his outburst, since he usually went out of his way to be friendly, understanding, and forgiving. Tem's eyes widened, and his mouth opened, but no words came out.
"Your hand slipping almost killed me! Is that what you wanted, is that what you were trying to do? Trying to get rid of me so you can-" He cut himself off, though he was unsure why. Perhaps he didn't want those watching to see how nervous he secretly was that Riz would be taken from him.
"No!" Tem gasped, stepping back. The Alpaca was trembling now too.
"Pina, calm down." That was Legoshi, coming up closer than the others, always the peace maker. Louis was close behind him, but he offered no input, letting Legoshi handle the situation. Pina ignored him, and kept his glare aimed at Tem, who was still sputtering on.
"No, it was an accident!"
"Accident!?" Pina repeated. He could feel all the eyes on the room on him, and hear them whispering in confusion and concern, trying to decide if they should step in too. "Trusting you to do a simple tast was the accident!"
"Pina."
Pina stopped mid scream, breathing heavyily, and turning to look at the animal now approaching. Riz, who had still been crouched where they had fallen stood up, towering over everyone there. He stepped in front of Tem, blocking him from Pina's sight.
"Stop." he ordered, eyes hard, and the Dall Sheep saw red, and felt himself flush with anger, shame, embarrassement, jealousy, and betrayal. He'd almost just died, and Riz was taking Tem's side?
"Why did you even fucking break up with him if you still like him so much!?" he screamed, then, without waiting for a response, jumped off the stage and ran for the exit. He heard someone call after him, but it was Legoshi, not Riz.
The next day, he thought about calling in sick, but he knew if he did, the stories and gossip that had doubtlessly already started to spread would just get worse. He'd have to be there to do damage control, even if the thought of facing Riz and Tem made him want to throw up. Not only that, but call night was close now, and he couldn't let his cast and crew down by skipping reharsals at such a crucial time.
He hadn't reached out to Riz all night and not since he'd woken up. Riz hadn't reached out to him either.
That was probably a really bad sign.
Riz was probably going to break up with him, and honestly, he couldn't say with complete honesty that he blamed him. But he also didn't blame himself. He was right, wasn't he? It was weird to be so close to an ex when you were dating someone else, and it was weird to think he would just be okay with that.
More than weird, it was stupid stupid stupid.
He could feel eyes on him throughout class, but nobody directly addressed what had happened yesterday. He tries to look a combination of uncaring and unaware, like nothing was wrong.The only ones unaware of the atmosphere are the teachers cycling in and out, babbling about subjects he can't focus on. For the first time, he was glad that Riz was a year older. Being in the same room all day would have been hard, maybe impossible.
Lunch comes. Usually at lunch, he and Riz would meet up outside. Sometimes, Tem would join them. Were they there, now, talking about him, and what had happened yesterday? He couldn't bring himself to go to their usual spot, and instead went up to the third year floor, and found a window that had a good view of their usual spot that he could look out of, to confirm his suspicions.
His stomach sank as he leaned out.
Sure enough, Riz was there, unmistakable in his large, furry frame. And there, next to him, a small, white, infuriating spot.
"Fuck you." he hissed under his breath, not sure which of the two he was cursing.
Riz, for eating lunch with Tem after he had made it so obvious he was uncomfortable with the amount of time they spent together?
Or Tem, for weasling in to take his spot?
He became aware of somebody coming up next to him, and straightened up just in time to look Legoshi in the eye as he spoke.
"Pina. What are you doing on the third year floor?"
"What are you doing on the third year floor?" he asked, only to spot the small rabbit on his other side. "Oh, never mind. I understand now."
She smiled, and came a bit closer.
"We've never formally met. I'm Haru."
She held out her tiny, adorable little paw, which he took, and shook. He saw some girls give her nasty looks, but she ignored them.
"Pina. What's someone so cute doing with a guy like Legoshi, anyway?"
Legoshi didn't look at all insulted by the slight, tilting his head to look out the window, spotting Riz and Tem.
"Have you guys talked since yesterday?"
"Does it look like we've talked?" He didn't mean to sound as angry and bitter as he did, but he hadn't been prepared for the question.
Legoshi stared down at him for a few seconds, clearly not sure what to say next. Pina waited, morbidly curious to see whad he would eventually say. True to form it was the worst thing the wolf could have said.
"Tem is a nice guy."
Rationally, Pina knew where Legoshi was going with this. He was trying to say that Tem probably wasn't trying to steal Riz from him. Unfortuanately, he was still way too pissed off.
"Oh, sure, he looks real friendly down there, cuddling up to Riz the second I'm out of the way!"
Legoshi flinched back at the sheer volume of his outburst, and those still in the hall with them looked over, eager for another show.
Something close to embarrassement washed over Pina then, and he turned and left quickly, glaring at any animal he passed.
Reharsal wasn't as bad as he was afraid it was going to be.
It was worse.
The second he walked in, every eye turned to look at him, then shifted in the direction he assumed Riz was. He couldn't stop himself from following their gazes. Sure enough, he quickly spotted the bear, carrying something heavy that none of the others could manage. And behind him, trying to duck out of Pina's sight, was Tem.
Riz spotted him, and paused, and they locked eyes for a long and horrible moment. Pina held back all the things he was getting ready to say, why haven't you texted or called me, why are you still hanging out with him after what I said, are you breaking up with me, and curled and uncurled his fingers to try and release his anger.
Riz steps in front of Tem, like he's trying to block him, protect him, from Pina.
And the anger is gone, and filled with overwhelming sadness.
He might be about to cry in front of everyone.
"Pina." And there he is again, good old Legoshi, his deer boyfriend standing behind. "Want to come help me and Louis over here?"
Pina nods, and lets himself be led away to a different side of the room. Today they were going to finish up the last details of the props, and even though that wasn't his area of expertise, he doesn't think he could give performing his all.
It isn't at all like the other days. Usually there was chatter, and laughter, and excitement. Today it was quiet. The only words spoken eventually came from Legoshi, whispered gently after a half hour of silent, tense, unfomcortable working.
"You have to talk sooner or later."
"Let it go."
Louis finally looked at him. "You're just going to pretend nothing is wrong?"
Pina glared with all he could muster at the red deer. He wasn't particularly fond of the other male. Legoshi could do so much better.
"As if you care."
Louis looked like he was deciding if he should argue with that, but since they both knew Pina wasn't wrong, he didn't.
"I care about the theater, and the quality of our performance. If your mind is scattered and in dissaray, the play will be too. Everyone is looking to you to get them through this. They follow by your lead."
Pina was quiet in response. He couldn't exactly argue with that. But he was gonna.
"Don't worry about the quality of my performance. Some may not be able to seperate their personal lives from their professional, but I'm not one of them." It was an obvious jab that the other boy probably didn't deserve, but it was too late to take back.
"Pina." Legoshi said, lightly scolding. Pina stood up abruptly before he could go any further.
"You know what, I have to go to the bathroom."
He didn't wait for the response, and left. He did actually go to the restroom, even though he didn't actually have to go. He looked at himself in the mirror, checking to make sure his hair and appearance were still in order. He opened his phone to flip through it, and noticed he'd recieved a text while working with Legoshi and Louis. His heart leapt, but then sank just as quickly.
It was from Marin, a girl he'd hooked up with a few times before he and Riz comitted to a relationship. She had heard of the incident the day before, and was politely inquiring about his wellbeing. Then she invited him to hang out with her. He stared blankly at the screen. She probably thought they'd broken up. Which they were probably going to do.
She hadn't said "hook up," or anything like that, but Pina was pretty sure it was she had meant. He faltered. He and Riz hadn't broken up, not offically, not yet, so would that still be cheating? Should he break up with Riz first, then message Marin back? That would be the right thing to do.
But he didn't want to break up with Riz.
Riz was nice, and had never made him feel ashamed of his past with multiple partners. They'd had fun together, playing video games, and going out on dates. Tem had been the only spot in their relationship, at least for Pina.
Suddenly, the bathroom door opened, and a classmate came in. Pina looked up reflexively, and froze. As if summoned by his thoughts, there was Tem, the door shutting behind him. He looked nervous, and rightfully awkward. The two males looked at each other in silence, and Pina grit his teeth, unsure what to do. Tem was blocking the exit, so he couldn't leave without physically moving the other in some way. He didn't need Riz thinking he'd shoved or hit the other, that was for sure.
He shoved his phone in his pocket, and stomped over, thinking that Tem would surely get out of his way as he came closer. But the Alpaca didn't budge an inch. Was he afraid?
"Move." Pina grit out.
Tem did not move.
He spoke.
"Can we...can we talk, please?"
Pina blinked in shock. He hadn't expected that.
"You and me?"
Tem nodded. "Well, it's a problem between you and me. Right?" He sounded unsure, like it hadn't occurred to him that he and Pina would have a reason to have a problem before yesterday. Like he hadn't been trying in anyway to get back together with Riz.
Pina couldn't think of a response in time, so Tem spoke again. "It-it really was an accident! I wasn't trying to drop the prop on you."
Pina rolled his eyes. "I know that. I was just...upset, when I said that."
Tem stared back at him for a few more seconds, searchingly. "You were upset...with me?"
A few more seconds of awkward silence passed while Pina tried to decide how much he wanted to reveal. Screw it. It was his only chance to get answers. "Yes. Also no. I was upset with Riz...for spending so much time with you. And I was upset with you for inserting yourself all the time. I thought...still think that you might be trying to steal him back from me."
Tem's eyes widened, but only for a second or two, before he nodded in understanding. "I thought that might be the case." The Alpaca deflated, guilt on his face. It was making it hard for Pina to stay mad at him. "I'm sorry. You're right about one thing, that I inserted myself too much. I shouldn't have done that. I should have known, given our history...that it would make you uncomfortable. It's just...Riz had said you two talked about it? And that you were okay with it...And I still want to be his friend...so I just...but I shouldn't have done that."
Pina stared back, processessing what he'd been told. "So...you don't....still like Riz? Romantically?"
Tem shook his head. "No. Did he ever tell you why we broke up?"
Now it was Pina's turn to shake his head. He hadn't asked, and Riz hadn't said.
"When we first started going out, neither of us were sure yet...of our sexualities. We thought it might be worth trying...with each other. It was like an experiment, I suppose."
Pina listened intently. He'd never known any of this.
"And while we did like...kiss...and hold hands...I didn't feel the same stuff he was feeling, in the end. It felt nice, but..."
"You're not...into guys?" Pina ventured, figuring he was following well enough. The alpaca nodded slowly.
"Pretty much. But I still wanted to be his friend...and he said you didn't mind?"
He had turned it into a question, the way he had before. Pina looked at the nasty bathroom floor. "I...I guess I did. But I just said that because I didn't want to cause a problem. And I didn't know you'd be there like...all the damn time!"
Tem nodded. "I see. And I am sorry, like I said. I'll...I'll stop hanging around so much. I just hope we can hang out sometimes, all three of us."
Pina got quiet. "Well, I'm sorry too. For the things I said to you. But I don't think that's gonna happen. He's...probably going to break up with me. After what happened."
Tem shook his head adamantly. "He misses you! He's really upset about what happened. He hasn't said anything about wanting to break up with you."
Was that the truth? It could have been, but just because Riz hadn't said it, didn't mean he wasn't thinking it.
Before their conversation could continue, the bell to start wrapping up club activities wrung. The two boys looked at each other a moment longer, before Tem smiled. "Please talk to him soon. You guys seem like you have a lot to talk about."
"Maybe."
And he was really considering it, but somehow, another day passed, and then another. The weekend came, and went, and then he was back at school. What could he do? He couldn't let it drag on like this any longer. If Riz wanted to break up, he needed to know, and if he didn't...well then why was he ignoring him?
Not that Pina could really talk. He was ignoring the bear too.
It was during lunch, that things finally came to a head.
Pina was sitting outside, under a tree, enjoying the shade. He heard a noise, and his heart did a funny movement in his chest, but when he opened his eyes, it was Legoshi. This time, he was alone, which was rare these days.
"You guys still haven't talked." It wasn't a question.
Pina smiled up at him teasingly. "Wow, you're really invested in whether or not we patch this up, huh?" He stood up, crowding a bit closer into the wolf's personal space. The gray wolf backed up a step, but Pina followed. "Could it be...you like me, Legoshi?"
Legoshi made a weird noise, and Pina chuckled in amusement as he stammered for something to say. "How did you..."
"Well I mean, you've been very interested in me these last few days, asking if Riz and I have made up. Maybe, secretly, you're wanting us to break up, and wanting me to join your harem?" Pina knew none of this was true, but it had been a few days since he'd had any real fun, and besides, he liked teasing the wolf.
Again, Legoshi didn't know what to say, and Pina came closer, gently nudging him with his hip. "I won't say I'm not interested Legoshi, but shouldn't you perhaps have the decency to wait until I'm confirmed single?"
He went to put a hand on the wolf's chest, to tease him just a little more, when a giant paw came down, grabbing him around the wrist. He jumped, scared despite himself, and then flinched at the force. Somehow or another, Riz had more or less snuck up on him, despite being one of the tallest students in the school. Pina looked up at him, the first time he'd been able to see him closely in days, and he soaked in his handsome features.
Well, usually handsome features. At the moment, those features were actually kind of dark, and scary, and leveled in something close to a glare. Pina felt himself tremble in response, an automatic instinct to an angry predator.
"Come on." Riz suddenly said gruffly, and begin to walk, pulling him along. Pina shouted in surprise, and stumbled, but managed to stay on his feet. He had to jog to keep up with Riz's huge steps.
"Hey! What are you doing?" he questioned, but Riz didn't answer, which angered him. He struggled to free himself, but Riz's grip was unbreakable even when he wasn't exhurting so much force and power. If not for the situation, it would probably be a turn on.
There weren't many students in the area, but those that were looked over with worry, probably scared he might be about to be eaten. They didn't step in though.
Pina had no choice but to follow behind, anger boiling inside him, until they finally came to an area were they weren't any students. Riz stopped walking, and turned to face him, but didn't release him from his grip.
"Did you want to break up?"
Pina startled, blinked a few times, and asked, "Do you want to break up?"
Riz's brows furrowed in anger. "Answer me. You were...you were flirting with Legoshi."
That was true, but Pina didn't want to admit that there was any problem with that at the moment. "So? You've ignored me for days, and now you think you can have a say in who I flirt with?"
Riz stepped forward, forcing Pina back multiple steps. He felt the wall behind his back, and again, felt himself shudder in fear at the size difference, and the look in Riz's eyes.
"You've ignored me too."
"You...you ignored me first." That technically wasn't true, since they'd both started ignoring each other at the same time. Riz didn't argue with it though, and moved on to a new topic.
"Do you have a problem with Tem?"
He'd hit the nail on the head, and Pina frowned, and couldn't exactly deny it. He looked away, unable to make eye contact.
"You said...you said it was okay for Tem and I to hang out."
Pina felt his blood simmer in anger, and looked up at Riz again, raising his voice with each word. "You asked me, at the literal start of our relationship, if I was okay with it. What was I supposed to say, Riz? Was I supposed to tell you not to hang out with your friend? What would you have said?"
The bear looked down at him in shock, "I...I won't stop hanging out with my friends."
Pina felt like he'd been punched in the gut. He hadn't exactly answered the question, but it was good enough. He was saying that even if Pina had told him he'd had a problem with it, he wouldn't have stopped hanging around Tem, and that even now, knowing he had a problem with it, wasn't going to stop hanging out with Tem.
"And I'm won't be forced to compete with someone for your attention." he said bitterly, trying to pull his arm away. But Riz tightened his grip.
"I wasn't trying to make you compete with anyone. Are you...jealous of Tem?" He sounded like the thought had never occured to him, and Pina exploded.
"Of course I'm jealous, Riz! He's your fucking ex! And I'm your boyfriend! And you just let him hang around all the time, even when I just wanted it to be us two, and what was I supposed to fucking do, what was I supposed to think, you put me in an impossible situation you dick!"
Riz let him get it all out, and then visibly went over everything in his head.
"You should have told me, Pina. I...I wouldn't have just stopped being friends with Tem, but we could have talked it out. I wouldn't have just broken up with you." The bear sighed heavily. "You're right. Tem did spend too much time with us. I just...he's still a good friend, and I thought you were okay...but you're right....it was really unfair of me to put you in that position to begin with."
Pina felt a ball of emotion in his throat, and swallowed. "Yeah, it was."
"But it was unfair of you to treat Tem that way. But he said the two of you already talked...and I'm sorry about that too. I handled all of that badly. I was just...so caught off guard by it all. I had no idea, so I couldn't understand why you were doing that, treating him like that. I'm sorry. I probably made you feel worse, huh?"
Pina nodded. "Well...I should have tried to talk to you about it. I shouldn't have...just held it in. I just...I really didn't want you to leave me." His voice cracked, and he felt tears in his eyes. He tried to lift his hand to wipe them away, but it was impossible to do, because Riz still had it in his grip. Before he could lift the other hand, he was suddenly being man handled, picked up, and he wrapped his legs around Riz's waist by instinct, yelping in surprise. A second later, his back was back against the wall, and Riz's lips were on his. He gasped in surprise, but didn't fight it. Instead he leaned into it, closing his eyes, and feeling the anxiety, fear, and anger of the last few days wash away.
"I'm not going to leave you, Pina." Riz said, pulling apart for a second, and peppering kisses on him.
"Me neither." he promised.
They weren't perfect, and were actually really stupid, and young, and had a lot to work out. It wasn't something he was used to.
But he was willing to learn.