Chapter Text
September 1971
The first time James Potter stepped onto the Hogwarts Express, he felt as though he had entered a dream.
He had never seen this number of wizards his own age before. His exposure had been better than others, definitely, he thought to himself as he passed a small girl with very round eyes staring in wonder at a paper aeroplane zooming above their heads.
Having grown up in an entirely magical household was somewhat of an advantage on a first day at a magical school, he was already seeing familiar faces in the crowds. This didn’t lessen the shock of being surrounded by so many of his peers though.
James knew the school years at Hogwarts were large, of course he knew; it catered for the whole of Britain, but he hadn’t realised how overwhelming it would be. Up until this point in his life, the wizarding gatherings he had been to were mostly grown ups, Christmas parties, a couple of weddings.
Squeezing past a group of older students, he finally located an empty carriage and threw himself into a seat, sprawling his possessions around him as he did so. The whistle wouldn’t blow for another few minutes but he had wanted to show his parents how ready and unafraid he was, so he strutted onto the train like he’d made the journey a hundred times. Or tried to at least; a dark-haired boy with sharp features had ducked through the doorway just ahead of him and nearly sent him stumbling.
James looked out of the window and watched the crowd of families gradually thin as more and more students boarded. He could see his own parents smiling proudly at him and made sure to throw them his most confident and excited grin. Afterall, how many times had they told him that these would be some of the best years of his life?
Happy nerves buzzed through him and James settled back, watching the traffic of students pass his carriage door.
Eventually, the whistle went and the last stragglers were torn from tearful parents. James nearly fell out of his seat when a girl with a mass of dark hair burst into the carriage and rushed to the window, reaching to throw final goodbyes to her parents on the platform.
James blinked at her, completely disarmed for a moment before coming to his senses and quickly gathering his cloak and trunk from the opposite seat so she could sit down. She finally did this when the train had well and truly pulled away, the station retreating into the distance, only seeming to notice him then.
“Oh!” she breathed, “Proper tough to say goodbye isn’t it?”
She spoke with an accent broader than James’, less annunciated, London maybe. Her hair was wild and formed a cloud of curls around her head.
“Er..” James hesitated, he tried to avoid looking right at her since she’d obviously been crying and he thought it was rude. “Yeah I guess so. I’m mostly just excited I think.”
“You don’t mind me sitting here do you? I don’t know anyone yet and I’m not sure where else has space.” She watched him expectantly, already pulling off her jacket. James hadn’t seen anything like it, green plaid with a thick collar so he assumed she was muggle born.
“No, that's fine.” James smiled, more relaxed now she had settled a bit. “I’m James,” he added, feeling the need to be more friendly after hearing this.
“Mary,” she grinned, already at ease. James decided he liked her.
After a short while of small talk, (did you travel far, do you have your robes ready etc), Peter Pettigrew showed up. He was pink cheeked and looked a little flustered but let out a sigh of relief when he saw James.
“Nearly did the whole train looking for you,” he garbled, hoisting his trunk up next to James.
“Been here the whole time mate,” James laughed “this is Mary by the way.”
Peter jumped when he noticed her and said a shy hello. James had no siblings but had never had trouble making friends, boy or girl. He definitely didn’t feel the awkwardness of sharing with a girl that Pete seemed to. They had known each other for years, lived in the same neighbourhood growing up.
The boys caught up eagerly, comparing journeys and discussing their approaching arrival. Eventually the conversation turned to sorting.
“You must be muggle born,” Peter observed tactlessly, eyeing Mary’s clothes. “So I suppose you don’t know what house you’ll be in.”
“Muggy what?” she frowned.
James fought the urge to elbow his friend in the ribs and hurriedly said “muggle born; it just means your parents weren’t magical.”
“Oh, well yeah” Mary shrugged, sitting back. “Yours were then?”
“We’re both pureblood,” Peter said proudly. “I bet we’ll be in Gryffindor don’t you James?”
“I bloody hope so,” James grinned, images of his parents' old house scarfs floating through his head.
They then had to explain the houses to Mary who listened intently, asking questions as they spoke. When the trolley arrived and James and Peter both grabbed their favourites, her curiosity was diverted and they got side-tracked explaining all the best and worst wizard sweets. They were still talking when the train pulled in. James hadn’t even noticed it getting dark.
All three children scrambled into brand new Hogwarts robes and followed the steady stream of students leaving the train. On the platform, James saw Marlene, who he and Peter had been practising quidditch with for years. She looked terrified and squeezed James a bit too tightly in greeting. She was at least a head smaller than James and had spiky blond hair and a pink nose. She smiled at Mary and shyly complimented her coat.
When they were rounded up with the rest of the first years, all four ended up in a boat together. Though he would never admit it, James was a bit nervous himself. He was starting to feel a constricting sensation in his stomach the closer they got to the castle. It looked even bigger than the photograph he had seen.
As the crowd of first years reformed, excited whispers began seeping through the eleven year olds. Peter was rushing through all the information he could remember about Godric Gryffindor and wondering if there would be some kind of test, Mary and Marlene had drawn close together, squealing at the ghost that rose out of the floor ahead of them and someone was issuing instructions. James allowed himself to drift out of the conversation and marvel at the big stone entrance they passed under, and as such, hardly noticed the person in front of him until they stopped and he walked straight into them.
“Watch it!” the dark haired boy hissed, turning to look at James disdainfully. “you ought to look where you’re going.”
“Sorry,” James said cheerfully, “got distracted."
The boy was pale, his hair hung flat around his face and his nose was slightly hooked over at the end. The expression he wore did nothing to make his features more attractive. With one last glare at James he turned back to the front and muttered something to a red headed girl on his left.
They were lined up and told to wait by a stern looking professor with a Scottish accent and James could feel himself practically bubbling with anticipation. Finally, the doors to the great hall were flung open and the students filed in, each gasping or staring at the beautifully enchanted ceiling. Somehow James lost Peter and was lined up between the angry boy and the red headed girl. He gave the boy his friendliest smile but didn’t get to introductions as he was completely distracted by the sight of hundreds of floating candles and four massive tables of students. They were all staring.
James tried scanning the crowd for any more familiar faces and nearly tripped over the girl as he did so. He couldn’t help it, he always focused 100% of his attention on whatever he was doing, sometimes walking and looking didn’t work well together. Reaching out to steady her he grinned apologetically.
“Sorry there, too much going on at once.”
She smiled back at him politely and opened her mouth to speak when a seething voice from behind James said “Maybe you should be at the back if you’re too stupid to multitask”.
“Severus!” the redhead scolded, she had intense green eyes, brighter than anyone James had seen before, and freckles dusted across the bridge of her nose.
“That is the second time that clumsy idiot has walked into someone, I’m merely suggesting a solution.” He drawled. James didn’t like the way he spoke, it was too nasally.
“I apologised,” James frowned, unused to anyone taking a dislike to him, especially this fast.
“It's fine,” the redhead smiled at him, she had a dimple on one side. “Consider it forgotten.”
James felt his frown dissolve and went back to staring at the ceiling. He would have forgotten it as well if the sallow skinned boy, Severus, hadn’t stepped on his robes when the line started moving, jerking James’ head back.
“You did that on purpose!” he coughed rubbing his neck.
“I didn’t,” Severus smiled nastily, “you should learn to take more care.”
“And you should learn to take a shower you greasy git” a fourth voice joined the conversation. It was the boy who had cut James off getting onto the train, he was stood behind them.
It was true, Severus’ hair looked as though it could do with a wash but James’ was much too polite to say things like that. He was not too polite to snigger slightly at the comment. Before the situation could escalate further however, the sorting started and everyone’s attention was devoted entirely to that.
James felt like it happened very fast. The girl in front of him, who turned out to be called Lily Evans, was sorted into Gryffindor, and he followed her almost immediately, and the nasty boy was sorted into Slytherin. James' ears pricked up when the fourth boy was called forward because he was named as Sirius Black. Of course James had heard of them, and he watched in amazement as Sirius followed them to Gryffindor table, looking completely shocked. Peter, Mary and Marlene were eventually sorted into Gryffindor as well and James found himself chatting away excitedly before the food even arrived.
By the end of the meal, after the slightly eccentric headmaster had said some words, James was very full and warm and ready for bed. On the walk to Gryffindor tower, he found himself next to the Black legacy.
“Black as in the noble and ancient?” he asked directly, because James was always direct about this kind of thing, confident and unashamed.
Sirius nodded, he looked as though it hadn’t quite sunk in yet.
“I thought you were all in Slytherin?”
“We were.” Sirius responded. “I must be the first ever to be in a different house.”
“The first ever.” James echoed. “Not too shabby if you ask me.”
Sirius smiled at this and James found himself smiling back, unable to ignore his desire to please even strangers.
“Do you think they’ll be angry?” James tilted his head.
At this, the other boy grinned, a proper grin that reached his eyes, putting a glint of mischief in them.
“I hope so,”
James decided he wanted very much to be friends with Sirius Black.
James, Sirius and Peter ended up sharing their dorm with a quiet boy with an unusual name who had a scar on his face that James had to tell Peter not to stare at.
Peter had greeted Sirius warily, aware of the snobbish nature of the Black family and already exhibiting jealous behaviour, telling Sirius all about how long he and James had been talking about Hogwarts together. Sirius, to his credit, smiled slightly but nodded indulgently and allowed Peter the bed closest to James.
James found himself in the middle of the room, his easy charm and well bred confidence drawing people to him as usual. He wasn’t cocky, but he was self assured, the kind of assurance that comes with never really having been bad at anything. He was an only child and his parents treated him as one so he had never been short of attention or hobbies or education.
Sirius was well bred too but in a different way. It was evident in the quality of his clothing and his trunk, in the leatherbound books he carelessly tossed in his wardrobe and the way he spoke. It was even obvious from the way he held himself, chin slightly raised, managing to look down on anyone he spoke to even though Pete was the only one in the dorm actually shorter than him.
James noticed these things because he was good at that kind of thing. He was a people person. He also noticed the nervous fidgeting as Sirius glanced around the vibrantly gold and red room. He noticed Sirius’ eyes darting nervously at the owls that brought the post each morning. He noticed that the other boy would flinch at every loud noise.
It was four days after the sorting when he realised why Sirius had been watching the post owls. James had never heard a howler before, his parents were kind and patient people, and he nearly choked on his cornflakes when the one in front of Sirius went off.
It was horrible. The voice seemed to be tearing itself from the opening in the envelope and was sharp and full of venom. He tried not to listen to the harsh words, something about reputation and legacy and disappointment. If it had been him, he would have been flushed with embarrassment and, most of all, hurt. But when he turned to look at Sirius, he was doing his very best bored expression and playing with his last piece of toast. When the screeching had stopped and the letter had torn itself to pieces, Sirius set fire to it using sparks from his wand and glanced up at James.
“I wonder if they’ll give me another Gryffindor tie.”
“Why?" James asked, frowning.
“I think I’m going to send mine home to mother dearest in the post.”
They got on very well after that, going to lessons together, eating their meals together, staying up late comparing quidditch magazines. James had never met anyone like Sirius, after the first couple of weeks it felt as though they had known each other all their lives.
He didn’t really know how to explain it, but he knew somehow that Sirius was going to be important.
The other boy from their dorm, Remus Lupin, was quickly drawn into their antics and Peter was always keen to be involved. Soon enough, all four of them had a reputation as troublemakers. It was different with Sirius and James though, their friendship burned brighter and faster than any of the others, and they always found themselves in charge of little pranks or leading the late night kitchen raids. James loved his home, but Hogwarts? Hogwarts would be his dominion.
December 1971
The first term rushed by in a blur of new subjects and new friends and James felt quite caught off guard when the days grew shorter and the air carried a definite winter chill.
“I can’t believe that we only have two weeks left until Christmas,” James said to no one in particular as the four boys sat in the common room attempting to finish their transfiguration homework.
Sirius had given up and was trying to levitate Peter’s ink pot.
“We should do something, for the end of term” he said, eyes already beginning to shine with mischief.
“What did you have in mind?” James sat up, homework immediately forgotten.
“I don’t know, something that everyone will hear about, I’m getting bored of Snivillus.”
Their relationship with Snape had not improved, the slightly greasy boy really seemed to just have it out for James, always telling on him or trying to show him up in potions. Whilst James was inherently a friendly forgiving boy, he simply found Snape too easy to dislike, and when Sirius had started with the nickname, it had stuck.
“Okay, so, something in the great hall?” James could feel the beginnings of a prank.
Apparently, so could Remus, who sighed and closed his transfiguration book. “As long as I don’t get covered in that horrible slime again I’ll help.”
“That’s the spirit Lupin.” Sirius grinned at him. “We’ll make a delinquent of you yet.”
“I’m perfectly capable of breaking rules,” Remus looked like he was trying not to smile back, but James knew no one could resist Sirius’ good mood for long, it was infectious. “I’m just cleverer than you lot and I have the good sense not to get caught. Speaking of, don’t you all have detention?”
“Bugger.” James checked the time and they were indeed due in McGonigal’s classroom in five minutes.
“We’ll make it if we run” Sirius began chucking his books and parchment into a disorganised pile.
James wasn’t sure what McGonigal had done to earn Sirius respect but she seemed to be the only teacher he actually cared about pleasing. Anyone else, Sirius would have just arrived late and taken another detention.
The detention wasn’t bad, just vanishing last year's students notes out of the transfiguration textbooks so they were able to continue their planning. By the end of the hour, they had a solid plan to take back to Lupin, who was the most logical and immediately pointed out the bits of the plan that wouldn’t work but also helped come up with solutions.
It took them another week to perfect but they were quite sure that everything was in place on the final Monday of term.
The boys were sat, as usual, with Mary and Marlene who had become best friends almost straight away. Lily, who shared a dorm with the two was sat a little further down, she was still friends with Snape and often scolded the boys for their teasing. James was beginning to think he would have to win her over somehow.
“Pleeaase just tell us what you’re planning” Marlene begged. “You’ve all got that look in your eye so we know you’re up to something."
James just smiled benignly. “You’ll find out soon, be patient.”
“Ignore them Marls,” Mary was trying to finish her last piece of charms homework for first period. “They’ll never tell you.”
“See! MacDonald understands us” Sirius said through a mouthful of toast.
“I’m not sure anyone under-“ Mary began but she was cut off by the screeching of post owls arriving.
The boys tensed and Sirius reached out to grip James’ arm.
“Here we go lads,” he said under his breath.
10 minutes later when almost every student had exited the great hall with a layer of bright gold and red glitter covering their heads, the boys were still laughing.
“Did you see Hagrid!?” Sirius wheezed. “He’ll be trying to get that out of his beard all week!”
“How did you even get that much glitter?” Mary asked, half amused, half infuriated.
“We asked Flitwick how to make celebration charms, pretended it was for Christmas,” James said, wiping tears of laughter off his face.
“Then we utilised Peter’s very special skill and added some time delay charms until the owls arrived.” Lupin continued for James.
So far, anything Peter had tried to use an engorgement charm on had just exploded, but this week the boys had been very grateful for this talent and Pete had just been thrilled to be needed.
“You know,” Marlene stared at the boys thoughtfully, “it's pretty advanced to be combining spells already, if you guys put this much into your lessons you could be wicked smart.”
“Never gonna happen I’m afraid.” Sirius swept his dark hair out of his eyes like he did when he was trying to be cool. “Our talents are exclusively for mayhem.”
And for the rest of the day the boys laughed at the students who hadn’t managed to vanish the bright Gryffindor colours out of their hair.
As their final term drew to a close, James noticed Sirius becoming quieter, more withdrawn. Remus seemed to notice too.
“Do you think he’s worried about going home?” he asked James one day as they sat watching Peter chasing Sirius around the common room to retrieve his scarf.
James turned to look at Remus who was watching thoughtfully. He often forgot that the other boy was just as perceptive as him sometimes, especially with Sirius.
“I think we’re all sad to be leaving.” James responded, determined not to disclose any of Sirius’ secrets.
“He has every right to be.” Remus continued, not pressing James for any information.
James liked that about him, he was never nosy like Sirius or desperate to be included like Peter. He had once entered the dorm when Sirius and James had been in the middle of one of their big chats and Sirius’ eyes were red and puffy. But Remus had simply nodded to them, picked up his book and left. He had never mentioned it to either of them as far as James knew. Not for the first time, James wondered what Lupin's home life was like, he had mentioned his parents before and seemed happy enough, and James had never asked about the scars. Remus always wore big jumpers and never rolled the sleeves of his robes up like the others did, but they had all seen them once or twice.
“You should probably step in before they break something.” Lupin observed in an amused voice, interrupting James’ train of thought.
“Yep, on it” he jumped up just as Pete leapt over a sofa to tackle Sirius.
It was the day before they were due to head home and they four boys were getting ready for their last night in the dorm. Peter was talking excitedly about the new quidditch dodge James had shown him earlier and James was promising to show him when they got home. Peter's jealousy had subsided a lot over the term but James knew he was still secretly happy about having James to himself for two weeks. It wasn’t a malicious envy, just a slight fear of being left out that James knew came from a place of insecurity. Peter had an older brother, Lewis, who had been a prefect at Hogwarts and who Peter's parents doted on. James himself had heard Mrs Pettigrew comparing Peter’s achievements to Lewis’. He made a mental note to help Peter manage the move before the holiday ended.
“Do you have space to fly at home then James?” Remus asked over the top of his book, it was a muggle novel James had never heard of.
“Yeah their garden’s massive!” Peter chimed in before James had the chance. “They have quidditch goals and everything.”
“Wow James you sounded just like a squeaky little girl when you said that” Sirius said in mock surprise.
Pete threw a sock at him.
“Shut up Black you’re just in a rotten mood because Mary said you didn’t have the best hair in our year.” James scolded before he and Peter could start bickering again. He always knew how to diffuse these situations, and he wasn’t going to mention the train home tomorrow. Sirius had crammed as many things bearing the Gryffindor logo as possible into his trunk already.
“She said what?” Remus pretended to gasp.
“I know!” Sirius sat up. “You think I have the best hair in our year don’t you Lupin?”
Remus hesitated for only a moment before answering.
“Of course, good sir” he said in an overly posh accent. “Award winning one might say.”
“Quite so, quite so,” Sirius returned in an equally exaggerated voice.
James laughed quietly and went back to quidditch weekly because they were hard to stop when they went off like this. Still, as lights began to be switched off and each of them climbed into bed, James couldn’t ignore the look on Sirius’ face as he eyed his packed trunk.
January 1972
Christmas was wonderful. James received a broom cleaning kit, plenty of socks, sweets and a beautiful new chess set. He and Peter had managed several organised snowball battles in his expansive garden and he had even finished most of his holiday homework. Marlene came for a sunday and Peter showed her the dodge that he had just learned, which she immediately demanded that James teach her. They spent the evening in front of the fire recounting all their gifts and drinking hot chocolate.
Of course, none of this meant he wasn’t still thrilled to be back on the Hogwarts express and on his way to Hogwarts.
He found Sirius straight away and tried to ignore his friend's forced cheerful smile and the dark circles below his eyes.
By the time the train pulled into Hogwarts, the four of them had all caught up and were already planning a prank to enter 1972 with style.
They greeted Mary and Marlene, and their friend Dorcas Meadows, who were comparing gifts and headed to the great hall together. To James’ surprise, Lily Evans sat with them, he wondered if Snape had been being rude to her again. He didn't mind, he was happy she was talking to him, even if it was just small talk.
Because of all of this, James didn’t get a chance to talk to Sirius on his own until late that night.
“Was it bad?”
“Not really,” Sirius shrugged, “they mostly ignored me for two weeks.”
James could tell Sirius was not in a talking mood.
“I think it's been hard for Reggie though, with me being gone.”
“Reggie?” James echoed.
“Regulus, my little brother, anyway I got some new robes at least, can’t believe I’ve grown out of the first ones already.”
Sirius did that often, changed topics so fast it gave James whiplash but he had learned to with it by now. He didn’t mention Regulus again but tucked the information that Sirius had a brother away for another time. He was sure he should have known that; the blacks were a well established family, but how had Sirius not mentioned him before?
January passed quickly, everyone settling back into lessons with ease. At the end of the month Remus was having one of his episodes, he got ill every few weeks and had to spend a night or two in the hospital wing but he always made the boys promise not to visit him. James thought he probably just didn’t want to feel like an invalid and they all complied. Sirius had asked quietly once if James thought the scars had something to do with him always getting sick. He hadn’t thought of that before.
In contrast, February crawled by slowly, and the boys felt like they were getting more and more homework each week.
“They can’t seriously expect us to spend an hour on this!” Peter complained one night as they all tried to remember how to construct a good charms essay. “I mean surely there isn’t even that much to say about musical incantations.”
“Here Pete, you can borrow my notes” Remus suggested generously.
“Personally, I just think it’s a travesty that our talents are being wasted on bloody homework instead of something fun” James yawned.
“You’re a clever guy,” Remus countered, his smile looking suspiciously Sirius Black-like. “I’m sure you can do both”. James had discovered that sometimes Lupin was actually the most mischievous of all of them.
“How would we use a singing charm for fun?” James scratched the back of his head.
“Lupin!” Sirius shouted, making all of them jump. “You’re a genius. I could kiss you!”
A slightly awkward pause followed this declaration but Sirius didn’t seem to notice.
“Don’t you see? It’s brilliant. We use a singing charm for fun.”
James, Peter and Remus exchanged equally baffled stares.
As usual, Sirius' explanation was long and unnecessarily convoluted but when everyone was caught up they were all grinning as stupidly as he was.
“Oh no,” Mary eyed them suspiciously, coming to plonk herself on the sofa next to James. “I know those smiles. What are you planning?”
“We could tell you, but then we’d have to kill you.” Peter smiled at her sweetly.
“Fine.” She yawned, stretching out like a cat, “Don’t tell me. I’m sure I’ll find out when whatever it is inevitably goes wrong.”
“Have a little faith MacDonald,” James laughed “it might go perfectly.”
“With you lot?” she eyed him disbelievingly. “Doubtful.”
It did not go perfectly as Mary had predicted but it worked pretty well all things considered. They got almost all the portraits in the corridor to the Slytherin common room to sing Hard Day’s Night by the Beatles at 3am in the morning. Albeit tunelessly and with the occasional wrong lyric but it was nice and loud and the desired effect was achieved: a lot of very disgruntled, sleep deprived Slytherins at breakfast the next day. Even better, a few students were humming the tune all day.
Dorcas, Mary and Marlene’s friend, was a Slytherin, and gave the boys very dirty looks in potions. James did actually feel a little guilty about that, he quite liked Dorcas, she was ambitious and determined, never giving up until she had accomplished a task or a spell. In James' opinion, she was all the good things a Slytherin should be. She went well with Mary, who would rather die than shy away from a challenge, and Marlene who always said what she was thinking and didn’t get embarrassed when she didn’t understand something in class, just stuck her hand up and asked until she did. He liked Lily too, who was spending more and more time with the girls but not quite clicking with the boys just yet. She was the cleverest person in their year in James’ opinion and fiercely defensive of her friends, which he thought was a very good quality to have. When she smiled, James felt a little like he did when he was on his broom.
James observed his own friends that evening at dinner. Squabbling and teasing each other, stealing food off one another’s plates. He decided he probably had the best friends in the whole year (maybe not the whole school; he admired the quidditch captain Frank Longbottom deeply and he would always hope to achieve the Prewett twins pranking reputation). Remus who was quiet and clever but secretly an evil mastermind, who always made anyone who spoke to him feel comfortable. Peter who was attentive and encouraging of any of his friends' ideas, who always put in extra work to keep up in class.
And Sirius. Sirius who came from a house so full of spite and pressure and criticism. James often thought that it was easy to be friendly, to be confident like he was when you had never had anything but praise for your endeavours. But Sirius had never received that kind of blind support at home, that kind of love that is freely given. And yet, he still corrected Peter's work when he thought no one was looking, he would threaten to hex anyone who so much as looked at Remus’ scars too long and he always, always had time for James, for absolutely anything he needed. Yes, James acknowledged that Sirius often had a short temper or a sharp tongue, and he needed reassurance more than James ever had, but these sins were forgivable in his mind.
There was nothing, he thought to himself, nothing in the world he wouldn’t do for his friends.
June 1972
The months continued in this way, his birthday passed and then the Easter holidays. The days got longer again as summer dug her fingers into the earth around them, sprouting flowers and filling the air with warm floral smells.
It was a Friday afternoon and they were sitting by the lake making plans for summer. Marlene was there but none of the other girls. James watched as she carefully constructed an elaborate daisy chain, tongue between her teeth in concentration.
“Of course, I’ll be at James’ almost every day” Peter was saying, “and I expect Marlene will visit, her parents know ours. Will you visit Lupin?”
“Maybe,” Lupin said lazily, stretched out with one arm over his eyes. “Some time in early August would work best.”
“Merlin Remus you must be boiling” Marlene was stretched out on her front, propped up on her elbows. “Don’t you ever take those knitted jumpers off?”
James noticed Lupin’s eyebrows pull together under his arm and he hesitated.
Sirius saved him the trouble of answering by reaching out his foot and knocking one of Marlene’s elbows so that she tipped over. “Why don’t you mind your own business McKinnon? Where are the other girls anyway?”
“Lily’s upset again, something Sev said I think.” Marlene shrugged, turning to lie on her back.
“Was he being nasty?” James asked, a little more hotly than he meant to. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t understand why Lily kept spending time with Snape. He sometimes thought maybe that was another reason Snape was the primary target for a lot of their pranks. But he was nasty, James reasoned to himself, he deserved it. Right?
“Oh, er, I don’t know,” Marlene blushed, realising she hadn’t meant to say anything. “It could be anything.”
Seeing her flustered made James smile again, he had known her almost 6 years and she still went bright pink whenever she was embarrassed. He squinted down at the others. Remus had started absentmindedly fiddling with the laces on Sirius’ shoes and Sirius was staring at his fingers strangely. Peter was fruitlessly trying to finish the homework the rest of them had completed ages ago.
“What about you Sirius?” James elbowed him, “Coming to visit?”
“Oh,” Sirius finally looked away from Remus’ hand, “probably not mate sorry. Reggie’s got to get ready for Hogwarts next year and I think he wants my advice.”
“Next year?” James hadn’t realised there was only one school year between the brothers, the way Sirius spoke about him made him seem much younger.
“I wonder if he’ll be in Slytherin or in Gryffindor like you are.” Pete mused, pulling up bits of grass and chewing the end of his quill.
“Finished yet Peter?” Remus asked quickly, seeing the scowl that had formed on Sirius’ face.
“No.” Peter sighed mournfully, “I think I’ll just hand it in like this though. Can’t be bothered.”
“In that case,” James jumped to his feet, “let’s go. We still haven’t made it to the top of that tree near the greenhouses and I’m pretty sure I’ve grown since last time so we have a better shot of reaching the second floor window this time.”
James didn’t think about Regulus Black again until he was in bed that night. Would he be like Sirius? Or was he more like the cousins James had met briefly, Andromeda or Narcissa? Did they get on? James hoped so, it would be fun to have a mini Sirius at the school, someone else to drag into their shenanigans.
At the end of term, James gave Sirius a one armed hug and said something about writing any time. Sirius nodded and avoided looking James in the eye. As he greeted his parents, he glanced back to see Sirius walking away with his head down next to his mother. Walburga Black shared Sirius’ defined bone structure, dark hair and steel grey eyes but she had none of his charm or his warmth. Not for the first time, James felt a tugging sensation in his chest and wished he could send a protection charm with his best friend.
September 1972
The holidays were blissful. Long days playing chess tournaments, gob stones and quidditch, James and Marlene were both trying out for the team next year and Peter wanted to be one of the commentators. He missed Sirius deeply, and Remus didn’t come to visit in the end but Mary visited Marlene and the four of them spent a hot afternoon lying in the sun eating ice cream.
Sirius responded to James’ letters eagerly each time but never with very much information about his home. Peter’s birthday passed in the summer and he and James celebrated like they had each year they had grown up together, a massive bonfire in the Potter’s garden and lots of cakes and sweets.
By the time August was coming to an end, James was very much ready to be back at Hogwarts. He even found that he was missing the girls. Peter and Marlene travelled with him to King’s Cross and they settled into a carriage together, keeping an eye out for their friends. Mary and Lily arrived together and they immediately began hugging Marlene and talking in high pitched voices that made James flinch. Dorcas came to say hello but didn’t sit in their carriage. She had had her hair put into braids over the summer and James thought they made her look very cool, older.
Finally, when James was nearly tearing his hair out, Sirius arrived. James sprung up from his seat and pulled Sirius into a hug before noticing the slightly smaller boy who seemed to be hiding behind him.
“Oh, er, yeah, this is Reg” Sirius gestured unnecessarily at the boy.
James would have known they were brothers anywhere. Regulus had thick dark hair like Sirius, slightly shorter but it framed his face in the same way. He shared the patented Black family bone structure, high, defined cheekbones and a jaw that could cut glass. James would remember thinking that when he first met Regulus and wondering if it was strange to notice boys’ jawlines.
It was their eyes that really caught James off guard though. Regulus had the strangest eyes James had ever seen. They were grey, like his brothers, but they seemed duskier, almost blue, and flecked with silver. James didn’t know it was possible for people to have eyes that colour. He fought the urge to ruffle up his hair like he did when he was nervous.
“I’m James.” He said brightly, reaching out a hand.
Regulus did not shake it. “Obviously.” His voice was higher than Sirius and softer. He turned to his brother with a raised eyebrow. “I’m going to find Evan.”
And with that, he turned and walked away. James pushed his glasses further up his nose and looked at Sirius, bewildered.
“Ignore him,” Sirius sighed, flopping down next to Peter. “He’s a grumpy prat when he wants to be.”
The conversation continued casually, everyone having something to ask or news to share, until Remus arrived. An awful quiet fell as everyone looked up and saw that he had a fresh scar. This one ran from the corner of his mouth over his nose to just below his eye. It looked almost fake, raised and purple against his otherwise fair skin.
Sirius broke the silence. “Cutting it a bit fine Lupin. You nearly missed the whistle. Move up Peter where’s he supposed to sit?”
James felt a surge of affection towards his friends as they all recovered quickly and began talking again. Even Peter had the good sense not to make any comment. Dorcas had asked about Lupin’s scars once but Sirius had responded so harshly that all the girls must have decided not to talk about it ever again. James didn’t think he had ever consciously made the choice to ignore Remus’ scars, but Remus had never brought it up so he figured it wasn’t any of his business. Not for the first time, a thought played in the back of James’ mind. He couldn't quite grasp it, always just out of his reach. Every time he tried to pin it down it would just slip further away.
When they had pulled into the station at Hogsmead and bundled into the horseless carriages, the lads ended up on their own. James saw Sirius give Remus a silent thumbs up, a question. Remus nodded and that was the end of it.
The feast was fantastic, platters piled high with everything a roast dinner could ever include. Everyone tucked in hungrily, eager to have an excuse not to speak; Regulus had been sorted into Slytherin and Sirius had a dark expression. Sirius’ bad moods could be just as infectious as his good ones so no one wanted to poke the bear.
James made a comment about it on the way up to the tower but Sirius brushed him off. He would talk about it when he was ready.
A few days after term started, James caught sight of Regulus in the corridor. Without thinking, he started towards him. However because James was incapable of dividing his attention, he nearly toppled over about three students on his route. By the time he reached Regulus he was slightly flushed and his glasses were askew.
“Hi.” He said breathlessly.
Regulus looked up at him, James was a good few inches taller. He didn’t respond, just raised an eyebrow. James had always been jealous that Sirius could raise each eyebrow independently. He had much less control over his face and always felt like his expressions were messier.
“Just wanted to see if you were alright.” James continued, unphased. “Castle’s massive. I got lost at least 6 times in my first week.”
Regulus looked at James for several seconds before answering. James wasn’t sure why but he had the urge to run his hand through his hair again.
“I doubt I’ll have that trouble.” His accent was just as pronounced as Sirius’, but his voice didn’t have the slightly gravelly texture.
James opened his mouth to speak again but Regulus had already turned away. He just shrugged to himself and decided he’d try again another time.
He did try again, many times. Each and every time, Sirius’ brother would say something cutting or give him a judgmental look and walk away.
“Give up,” was Sirius’ advice when they discussed it one night in the dorm. “He’s as stubborn as I am when he wants to be.”
“But I want him to like me!” James whined. He was lying upside down with his legs against his headboard. “He’s your brother. I feel like we should be friends.”
“Ha,” Sirius snorted. “Friends? Not likely mate, he hates you.”
“What?” James sat up, genuinely shocked. “How can he hate me? He doesn’t even know me.”
“No,” Sirius laughed at the state of James’ hair and wonky glasses, “but I’m pretty sure he blames you. Thinks you stole me away or something nefarious.”
“That’s a big word Sirius,” Remus said from his own bed, “are you sure you can spell it?”
“How about I spell a different word? Maybe a four letter one, rhymes with stick?”
And off the two of them went, James knew they were impossible to mediate so he lay back in his bed and thought about Regulus Black. There seemed to be only one solution to James; to change his mind.
So the next time he spoke to Regulus, he made sure to wear his cleanest shirt (the one with only one ink stain) and he even tried to flatten his hair a bit.
“Hello,” he started politely, wearing his most charming smile and not fidgeting at all. “Sirius and I are going flying later. Want to come?”
James had learnt from Sirius that Regulus had his own broom at home and would probably try out for the team next year.
“Why would I want to come?” Regulus responded without even stopping walking.
“For fun?” James shrugged. “Or we could do something else, I don’t know if you like chess but-”
Regulus turned suddenly, and James, who had been a step behind him nearly knocked them both over.
“What do you want?” Regulus asked, staring at James like he was something on the bottom of his shoe.
“To get to know you,” James replied honestly, he was used to conversation curveballs like this with Sirius. “And honestly Reggie I think you might like me if-”
“Regulus.” He cut James off. “Sirius is the only person who calls me that.”
“Oh sorry. See I’m learning about you already” James smiled happily.
“Don’t bother,” Regulus said coldly, turning and walking away again. “I really don’t think we’re each other’s type of company.”
James watched him go, pondering the way he had phrased that last sentence.
That evening at dinner, he was sat with Marlene eagerly discussing the quidditch tryouts the next day when Regulus entered the Great Hall. James wasn’t sure why but it felt like he noticed every time Regulus was nearby, his eyes were always drawn to him. He gave him a friendly wave and Regulus just rolled his eyes. James was still watching him head to the Slytherin table when a load bang echoed across the hall. It was just some sixth years messing around, probably the Prewett twins but Regulus flinched so hard James thought he might trip. A familiar feeling gripped James, cold and sharp just below his diaphragm and he remembered all those times Sirius had flinched at a slammed door or knocked trunk.
Regulus looked up at James, only this time he didn’t look away like he usually would. Just like all those times with Sirius, James wanted to do something, say something that would help. He just didn’t know how.
“Earth to Potter?” Marlene poked him in the side of the head. “I’m talking to you.”
“Sorry,” James blinked, when he looked back Regulus had already walked away. “Carry on Marls, tell me about the other chaser again.”
James didn’t have time to think about it again though because, as always, he needed to focus and simply didn’t have room in his head to have other thoughts. He and Marlene went to the pitch early on Saturday and spent an hour warming up and practising shots. Marlene was ranting about how stupid it was that the Slytherin team didn’t allow girls, (Dorcas was apparently a very good beater) when they landed on the grass.
James agreed it was stupid but didn’t want to mention to Marlene that it gave Gryffindor a pretty good advantage if Slytherin were ignoring half their best players. He figured it was probably the wrong thing to say and he didn’t want to rile her up any more.
The other second years and a few people from third and fourth year were arriving now and James reached through his hair involuntarily when he saw Frank arrive.
Frank Longbottom, 6th year and quidditch captain. He was at least six foot with warm brown hair and a round face. He seemed to have perpetually pink cheeks which James thought made him look like he always just stepped off his broom. He smiled cheerfully and James stood up a bit straighter. Frank was the keeper, in James’ opinion he was the best in the school, he often told Marlene that Frank should go professional.
“Right everyone,” Frank stared at the potential new team mates, he had a deep voice, authoritative, but he also had a northern accent that made him sound warm and friendly. “As you know we’ve had a few team members leave to focus on their NEWTs this year so we’re short a chaser and a beater. That means only two of you will get in. However some of you might be alternates, which involves training with us for half the practices and if we ever have injuries or illness, you could play in a match.”
James desperately wanted to make the team. His parents had been buying him brooms since before he could walk and his mother had been the seeker for Gryffindor during her years at Hogwarts. It was one of the reasons he got on so well with Marlene, she had been coming round since they were 6 to fly with him. Peter loved to participate but didn’t like the idea of being on the team because of all the early training sessions. Plus, he wasn’t a particularly competitive person and even the idea of going to the tryouts had given him a stomach ache.
It went brilliantly. James flew as well as he ever had and his catches were flawless. He probably should have passed more to show Frank he was good at that too but he had always been a bit rubbish at that, he just got lost in the flying and forgot that anyone else existed at all. Marlene was fantastic too; she made some really tricky dives and intercepted the quaffle from the most surprising angles. After another hour of flying they were exhausted and covered in sweat but grinning ear to ear.
James had made the team and Marlene was a sub, which she said suited her this year anyway because she could focus on school work. James was waving giddily to Peter and Sirius in the stands when a movement caught his eye. A small figure with dark hair was disappearing down the stairs in the Slytherin stands. Regulus? But why would Regulus be watching the Gryffindor quidditch tryouts? James threw one last congratulations to Marlene over his shoulder and hurried to the other side of the changing rooms.
He was right; he had seen the back of Regulus’ head enough times by now to recognise it.
“Reggie!” he called, “wait, shit I mean Regulus! Wait, slow down!” James marvelled at the speed Regulus could move at without actually running. Finally James caught up and Regulus stopped walking and sighed, turning to face him.
“How come you were watching the try outs?” James asked breathlessly.
“What makes you think it’s any of your business?” Regulus responded, always quick.
James frowned. “I was one of the people you were watching?”
He didn’t know if it would work, he was nowhere near as good at predicting Regulus as he was Sirius.
Regulus made a frustrated noise in the back of his throat. “Curiosity, obviously. If I’m going to be on the team next year I should know the competition.”
“Right,” James nodded eagerly, happy to have a proper response for once. “What position do you play?”
“Seeker.” Regulus wasn’t looking at James, but somewhere just over his shoulder. His eyes caught the midday September sun, and James was struck once again by the strange silver flecks in them.
“Well?” Regulus looked at James like he was waiting for something, shifting slightly on his feet.
“Well what?” James snapped back to the conversation, unable to hold more than one train of thought as usual.
“Did you get in?” Regulus looked slightly embarrassed to be asking.
“I did.” James beamed at him, “I’m one of the chasers.”
“Right.” Regulus nodded and then turned to walk away without any warning.
December 1972
Now that he had quidditch practice as well as his homework, James didn’t have as much time to think about winning over the younger Black brother. He felt as though he had only blinked and it was nearly December. Sirius was sat on the windowsill in the common room staring up at the moon hanging in the sky and James was half heartedly playing a game of chess with Marlene.
“Remus is ill again? Poor love, feels like it's every other week.” Mary had her legs draped over the end of the sofa and was fiddling with a bracelet Marlene had made her. It was sparkly red and gold and went well with her skin tone.
“When’s the first proper quidditch match?” Sirius asked non-sequentially.
James noticed he did that a lot whenever someone mentioned Remus getting sick, changed the subject abruptly. Jame’s stray thought was wriggling at the back of his mind again, the one he could never fully reach.
“January.” Marlene answered, looking satisfied as she took one of James' knights.
“We’ll practice loads over Christmas though.” James retaliated by taking one of her castles and she frowned. Marlene always had exaggerated facial expressions, like you might draw on a cartoon.
“I’ll help” Peter chimed in, looking up from his homework. “I’ve been paying loads of attention when you guys have practice.”
“Cheers Pete,” James smiled at him. “Sirius? Come practice with us in the holidays?”
He knew Sirius would say no but he also knew he liked to be asked. It baffled James that Sirius had refused to try out for the team but, much like the rest of his talents, Sirius just didn’t want to put the work in. James would try to get him to go next year.
“No, thanks anyway though.” Sirius said, he had gone back to looking out of the window.
When the term ended, James felt the familiar tugging sensation in his core that he always felt when he said goodbye to his best friend. He watched as Sirius and Regulus joined their mother on the platform. She looked down at them disdainfully and said something James didn’t hear before turning to leave. The two stony faced boys followed silently. His welcome was so different that the contrast was only exaggerated. His mother wrapped him in a big hug and his father clapped him on the shoulder.
“Tell us absolutely everything son.”
And James was able to forget for a little while and just babble excitedly to his parents about school and friends and quidditch. The tugging sensation never went away though, as if he and Sirius were connected with invisible string and he could never quite relax until they were together again.
He and Marlene did in fact practice lots, with Peter chiming in with any information he could think of, often repeating himself.
James was surprised to have a present from Mary that year, socks with broomsticks on them and felt bad for not getting her something. He hadn’t got any of his friends presents; he didn’t know he was supposed to.
He mentioned this to Marlene and she just laughed at him.
“She only got you the socks because she fancies you.” As soon as the words had left her mouth Marlene looked appalled. “Oh no I wasn’t supposed to tell you! Please don’t tell her! Pretend I didn’t say anything.”
She looked so genuinely mortified at herself that James quickly said “Don’t worry Marls, I’ll probably have forgotten by tomorrow anyway, you know what I’m like.”
He moved on quickly, asking about New Years to show her it wasn’t a big deal and tried not to panic.
He would ask Sirius on the train; he didn’t want to seem obsessed by writing a whole letter about it.
January 1973
“Well what does she fancy you for?” he pulled a face.
“I don’t know, do I?” James threw his hands up. “I speak to Marlene loads more than her now that we have quidditch.”
“Why are you panicking?” Remus asked, laughing. “Isn’t it a good thing?”
Now it was James’ turn to pull a face. “Not really. What if she thinks I fancy her back?”
“Do you?” Peter asked.
“No!” James and Sirius said at once. James felt a little hot under his collar and decided not to mention that, really, if anyone was going to fancy him he wished it was Lily.
“He doesn’t have time to fancy her,” Sirius looked disgusted. “We have important things to worry about. For example, the first prank of 1973.”
“Already?” Peter asked.
“Well we have to start sometime, Pettigrew.” Sirius said impatiently.
“I’ve been practising,” Remus looked like he’d been waiting to discuss this. “And I think I can levitate even heavier objects now.”
The four of them carried on like this right up until they were eating. James had purposefully sat not next to Mary, and was surprised to find himself beside Lily Evans. She had smiled at him politely but didn’t ask about his Christmas at all. James wondered if Snape had maybe mentioned the biting gob stone they had hidden in his bag at the end of term.
“Dorcas is kind of friends with your brother, you know Sirius.” Marlene said with her mouth full.
“She is?” he asked sceptically. “I only ever see him with that Crouch kid.”
“Well they hang out in the common room don’t they you twit.” Mary said.
Sirius flicked a bit of gravy at her.
James looked across at the Slytherin table where, sure enough Regulus was sat with Barty Crouch and some kid with sandy hair, James thought his last name might be Rosier. When he zoned back into the conversation, Marlene was complaining about how tricky the vanishing charm essay had been.
James gasped. How could he have forgotten?
“What?” Sirius asked, looking worried.
“Nothing.” James tried not to grin too broadly. “My dad got me the most amazing Christmas present, I’ll show you and Remus when we get to the dorm.”
And despite Sirius’ begging, James would not reveal his secret till the four of them were alone. It was worth it, the others marvelled at the invisibility cloak his father had given him, even Peter who had already seen it.
“This is properly good quality,” Sirius murmured, letting the fluid material slip over his hands.
“It’ll be great for pranks too,” Remus nodded appreciatively.
“And sneaking to the kitchens!” Peter added.
“I know,” James grinned at his friends, thrilled by their excitement. “Trust me, it's only the beginning.”
He was right of course, James Potter usually was about this sort of thing.
January sped by, Gryffindor beat Hufflepuff in quidditch but Remus was ill so he missed it. James was thinking more and more about how often Remus got sick, it worried him.
Lily was spending more time with them. James was secretly very pleased with this and sometimes found that he made even more of a fool of himself than usual when she was around.
Dorcas Meadowes didn’t hang out with them all that much anymore but James knew she and Marlene still went flying together sometimes. James often saw her with Regulus or Barty and wondered if they were banned from talking about Sirius the way Sirius refused to discuss Regulus.
February 1973
They were halfway through the month when James had the nightmare.
Sirius had stayed up late staring at the full moon, he did that a lot. It was especially clear that night, hung in the sky like it had been put there just for Sirius.
James had been reading some biography of a wizard adventurer before bed, he had just finished a chapter about defeating a vicious, bloodthirsty werewolf, which probably inspired it.
It made his head hurt a little, reminding him of something he couldn’t put his finger on.
He didn’t remember most of the dream but he woke up sweating and tangled in his sheets. He had been somewhere dark, something was following him, something big with heavy breath. He rubbed his eyes with one hand, trying to grasp the dream more firmly as it slipped away from him, had Regulus been in the dream for some reason? He gave up trying to remember it and went back to sleep.
The next day he had forgotten all about the horrible dream until Remus arrived back from the hospital, he had been there three days this time. James nodded to him when he came in but did a double take when he saw the fresh scar curling round the side of his forehead. He moved slowly like everything ached. James opened his mouth to tell Remus he had missed a really good view of the moon last night when it hit him. The thought that he had been chasing for months now finally reached the front of his head.
James felt as if his brain was crumbling, thoughts crashing down around him. Remus’ injuries, his sickness, missing school practically once a month. James felt stupid for not figuring it out sooner. His eyes widened and he stepped back, staring at Remus with new eyes.
“You-” was all he managed to say. James made a gesture towards him as he climbed into his bed but Lupin didn’t seem to notice him.
James’ head felt like a hurricane.
Before he could start speaking Sirius was forcing him backwards into the bathroom. When had Sirius gotten there? Why wouldn’t he let go of James’ arms?
“James, look at me,” he was saying. “You have to calm down okay.”
Calm down? James shook his head, trying to clear it. He shouldn’t be calm, Remus was a.. James didn’t even want to think the word.
“James!” Sirius shouted at him. He never shouted at James, not ever. James noticed his hands were shaking.
Everything froze for a second.
James frowned at his friend. “You knew.”
It all made sense now, why Sirius was so quick to change the subject around Remus.
“You knew and you didn’t tell me?”
Sirius met his eye steadily. “Yes.” He had let go of James’ arms now.
“How could you not tell me?” James' mind didn’t feel like a hurricane anymore; his thoughts were moving slowly, like syrup.
“It wasn’t my secret to tell.” Sirius was still looking at him as if James might start yelling.
“I…” James fought to pin down a coherent thought. He looked back up at Sirius, at his calming grey eyes.
Images of Remus’ scars swam through his brain, deep angry scars. He thought of one of his best friends coming back from the hospital wing alone each month, making them promise not to visit him.
Finally, he spoke.
“How do we help him?”
Sirius’ eyes softened and he looked like he might hug James.
“I have some ideas.”
***
March 1973
He hated him. Regulus didn’t think he had ever hated anyone more. He watched James Potter across the library and his mouth filled with a foul taste. James was sat with Sirius and they were whispering conspiratorially, pouring over some massive leather bound book. They had been coming to the library for days now, every spare minute they had. And they were always looking at some old book or collection of scrolls. Probably planning some stupid prank, he thought bitterly. He slammed his book shut, suddenly feeling too restless to read.
“Everything okay?” Barty asked without looking up from his own book. It was probably something about hexes again, even though Barty had already read everything that wasn’t in the restricted section twice.
“Yeah,” Regulus’ mouth twisted. “Nasty view, that's all. Can we go?”
Barty followed his eyeline and let out an impartial noise. He turned to Regulus and looked as though he might comment but decided against it.
“Sure, I’ve read this before anyway. Nothing new.”
So they left. When they got back to the common room Evan was waiting.
“What happened to being at the library all afternoon?” he asked the pair as they joined him on one of the dark green sofas by the fire.
“Mr and Mrs Potter were there again” Barty said mockingly.
“Ah,” Evan nodded like everything made sense.
Regulus made a disgusted noise. “It's bad enough that Potter’s all he bloody talks about at home, now I have to see the two of them together constantly.”
Evan and Barty shared amused looks.
“What are you two smiling about?” He spat.
“Sirius isn’t the only one who talks about James Potter all the time.” Evan rolled his eyes.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Regulus frowned.
“Come off it Regulus,” Barty laughed. “For someone who hates him so much you don’t half go on about him.”
Regulus opened his mouth, affronted, then closed it again when he couldn’t think of something to say.
“Exactly,” Evan stood up. “I have to go anyway. Pandora and Dorcas want to hang out before dinner. Coming?”
“I’ll come,” Barty stood up as well. “Need to ask Dorcas about a new hex.”
“I don’t even want to know” Evan closed his eyes and shook his head before turning to the sofa. “Regulus?”
“No,” Regulus said sulkily. “Wouldn’t want to bore you any more than I already have.”
“Don’t be such a girl about it,” Evan kicked his foot. “See you at dinner, remember not to open Barty’s trunk even if you hear movement inside.”
Regulus sat on the sofa and watched his friends leave. He stayed there until dinner trying his best not to think about James Potter. He wasn’t very successful.
Several days later, Regulus was wandering back from Ravenclaw tower. His friend Pandora sometimes made him walk her back if it was dark and he pretended it was a chore, but he didn’t really mind. It was only a little past curfew so he didn’t think he’d be in that much trouble if he was caught. He preferred the castle when it was empty, he hated the crowds and the noise of the day. Secretly he thought Hogwarts was beautiful, but he would never admit that to anyone.
The last person he wanted to see as he rounded a corner was James bloody Potter, stuffing a cloak of some kind into his satchel. Regulus looked behind him, maybe he could go back round the corner before James saw him. He rolled his eyes, the quickest way to the dungeons was forward, and he shouldn’t have to work around Potter, he wasn’t a celebrity. So he raised his head and quickened his pace. James looked up at the sound of footsteps.
“Regulus?” he asked, pushing his hair off his face. “What are you doing here?”
“Going to my dorm.” Regulus replied in the coldest voice he could manage. “Not that it’s any of your business.”
“Course not.” James said happily. “I’m on a mission.” He continued secretively when Regulus didn’t ask.
What an idiot.
Regulus scoffed. “A mission? So that’s where Sirius gets it from.”
“Gets what?” James tilted his head.
What a moron.
“All this conspiracy rubbish. You act as if your pranks are historical events, like you’re great marauders completing quests.”
“Marauders? I like that.” James echoed, chuckling.
What a tosser.
“Did you want something?” Regulus gestured to James standing in his way.
“Oh, er, no. Sorry.” James smiled at him again and Regulus felt a surge of familiar hatred. He was so bloody nice.
James moved and Regulus stepped past him.
“Regulus-” James started like he’d forgotten something.
Regulus was aware of how quiet it was, with just the two of them in the shadowy hallway. He found himself desperately wishing he had opted for turning back.
“What?” he snapped without turning, trying to sound as if he couldn’t care less.
“Nice to see you.” James said cheerfully, and then Regulus heard him turn and walk away.
He clenched and unclenched his jaw a few times.
He spent the rest of the term ignoring his brother and stupid, precious James Potter who took up all his time. His friends never teased him about Sirius but they had no qualms about rinsing him when he complained about James so he did it as little as he could.
Pandora observed once, in her dreamy, far off voice that it was nice that James wanted Regulus to like him. Pandora always said she was good at sensing these things, but Regulus had to disagree with her on this one.
Dorcas found the whole thing hilarious and had commented that they weren’t as insufferable as she originally thought. He was actually glad she wasn’t hanging out with Sirius any more, not that he ever would have told her.
Evan and Barty called him a dramatic git whenever he made a Potter related comment but didn’t really have an opinion on it, which Regulus was glad of since they were the ones he shared a dorm with.
Sometimes he thought about the time they had met in the hallway though, in the dark. The memory felt charged somehow, like a current of electricity ran through it. Regulus tucked it away in the James-Potter-can-rot-in-hell section of his brain.
Regulus made it through Easter without hearing too much about the great James Potter. Sirius was talking a lot about his other mate Remus, who he had taken to calling Moony for some reason. Apparently the reason he and James had been in the library so often had something to do with him. Regulus wondered vaguely what Sirius’ grades would look like if he spent this much time on his lessons.
They had also, infuriatingly, begun referring to themselves as The Marauders.
They got back to term and Regulus nearly made it three weeks without seeing James. It was past curfew again. Regulus just liked being out in the castle after dark and had taken to wandering around when he couldn’t sleep.
He was leant against an archway in the charms corridor, looking out across the lake.
“Regulus.”
Regulus jumped and spun around, startled.
“Sorry.” James laughed, arms held up in mock surrender. Of course it had to be James. Regulus rolled his eyes and started walking away, he suddenly felt very ready for bed.
“Didn’t mean to scare you.” James said earnestly, walking alongside him. Stalker.
“You didn’t scare me.” Regulus lied. “You’re just the last person I wanted to see.”
“Well I’m sorry anyway.” James never let anything get to him. Regulus hated that. “Shouldn’t be a problem soon anyway.” James continued as if Regulus cared. “We’ve decided to find every single secret passageway in the castle.”
“I don’t care.” Regulus told him, turning a corner.
“Fair enough. Night then.” James had not turned the corner and was walking confidently away towards the staircases.
Regulus frowned. He spent the journey back to the common room fighting a strange sense of disappointment.
July 1973
His first year was ending and Regulus didn’t really know how to feel. He’d made some pretty cool friends: Dorcas was hilarious and completely unapologetic about her ambition.
Barty was insane but in a really entertaining way, and Regulus got the feeling he was the kind of friend that would stay loyal for years. He could also do spookily accurate impressions of peoples voices.
Pandora was a little strange but she always said exactly the right thing and Regulus was developing a bit of a soft spot for her. Once he even let her hug him.
He had known Evan already but it was nice to get to see what he was like beyond his family and his reputation. He understood Regulus’ own family pressure and had even opened up to him about it once or twice.
Regulus didn’t think he was the kind of boy who opened up to people, his mother had always punished him even more severely if he cried or complained so he had learnt quickly not to. Sirius went for the opposite tactic, always doing the most provocative thing to get his mother to react. Barty didn’t get on with his dad either, Regulus knew from the biting tone of voice he used to speak about him, but he was like Regulus, and he never went into detail.
Lessons had gone well too, Regulus liked potions best and he was already professor Slughorn’s favourite. And it was nice to be away from home. Regulus shuddered.
Home.
It was only six weeks, he could do it.
.