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"Adoration." His lungs clenching for anything they could reach, some rocks and pebbles clicked his throat as he rubbed his back against the grass. The ants were gone by now, but it still didn't matter, their bites were still flaring at the end of his thighs. Probably should have taken the advice to wear pants out today.
The moon's glare froze over his blank face, holding the notebook up to him, no words escaped or pummeled from the opening. He just sat there, staring at the word and it's faint definition. Could this explain what he was feeling as of the current? small intakes of breathe around...Him?
"Term used for a profound love and admiration.." Admiration? It was more than that. More than whatever he had seen The Man do behind the scenes. More than the slight hump that formed from the absence of space inside his boxers whenever he heard Him close. More that the light aching in his chest whenever he'd talk to Him. That marine really knew how to fuck with peoples heads, and to think He wasn't married or in a relationship? He had to be lying, hiding His ring or something like that. No way someone like Him with such....a perfect body and incredible jawline for His age had no one to come home to.
Regardless, there was still something more., more than just worship. Because as far as David had told him, when he first related his feelings to the way he felt about Merrick, it started off the same way. The, Exact, same way. He had denied himself the accounting feeling rising above him, but when it bloomed, their relationship was outspoken, not caring about how people saw them, they were in Love. However, Logan's little teary fits of anger from his own sparking crush had David thinking that he needed aid. That is, if Logan will accept help, but right now, that was looking like a plain, good, No.
Pulling the blue pen that sat on his ear from the depths of blonde hairs, he scribbled something down by the word's own definition, turning his head to gaze at the shining moon, his eyes had shifted back to their milky white, fingers laying on the cover of said journal. This had been the first time he had truly wounded up in a problem like this. He'd never been wimpy when it came to crushes, which handed him a fair share of crippling heartbreak, but he wasn't affected by it in any way. But those were high-school sweetheart crushes, this crush was of a Man whom had gotten his life together, knows His place in reality, figured everything out, and fairly, a much more Higher Gentleman in age too. He was more mentor like than anything, not, 'I want to have your babies even though I can't produce any', Is that why his crush was so difficult to swallow?
"Example? Used in Sentence, 'It's More Than Adoration'." He continued to scribble until his hand felt numb over the example text, the book's spine thankfully was still intact, keeping up with the velocity of how fast his fingers were going.
The paw and snout that came to lay on his thigh was expected, maybe he was feeling the same way too? Or he understood the pain of which lay in Logan's heart. It was comforting to no end, especially that the German Shepard was relaxed by his easing touch. Even when in this midst of chaos, the good boy would find himself a good place to rest. At-least his dog could be peaceful, he at the moment wasn't very proven of tranquility.
It only strengthened the next day while out on the field, as he wasn't good with shooting just yet. He was new to this type of thing, still a little angry his father had forced him into the military but it was probably for the best. The Guy always had a way with His sentences, the speech terms He'd use that feathered more of His southern accent only appealed more and more when He talked, nothing too hard. But you could tell, He was from the South. As with southerners, they were no stranger to sugar coating anything. Quite like when The Guy had chuckled watching Logan shoot for the first time and said, "You Must Be A' Fuckin' Spy For The Damn Feds, Those Fuckers Don't Know How The Hell Ta Shoot." A giggle it was, small laughter, the joke wasn't what had him giggling however, it was how warm his heart felt after it. How his heart was bumping with no correction, beating faster and beating faster while He put His own hands over Logan's to correct the way he shot. It was embarrassing to say the least, but, it felt so....Good.
Grenade throwing too, same practice. His lanky and small figured arms weren't enough for throwing since he wasn't doing it the right way. No hassle for David though, David used his baseball pitching as means to service in his practice, but Logan always sat out, never really into sports. The latter had pulled his arm back some, and pulled the pin on the dummy grenade, whisking it into the distance. Then they'd try again, and again, and Again. One pitch, two pitch, three pitch, four, and still, he wasn't getting anywhere, until He decided to again to use His fingers to teach. He placed His palm on Logan's tailbone, straightening and loosening those tense muscles by rubbing fondly in that small area and when he pitched this time, his result was of successful recession.
Problems immediately surfaced, as his distancing would be of no use since he was now the primary trainer, it's not like he could choose whoever was there with him, but he did significantly better with Keegan there. But this guy just made Logan...Nervous. His mind ran frantic when he heard from his father that Keegan was out, and He would be taking his place for the day, and the next day, and the next day. At first, he thought that David had something to do with it, since he only told David about the crush, but David had already moved out of basic training so that was unlikely.
It took him a week to figure out that Keegan was switching to AIT, and he'd no longer be the instructor of their personal BCT. Honestly, Logan wanted to jump off the side of a bridge since now, he'd have to see Him every-fucking-day of the week. Never classified as a problem, just a little more preoccupied whenever He told him to do something. Spacing out on His face in mid-speech wasn't the fair way to go out, so he stopped making eye contact with the damn bastard, but it wasn't easy when He'd literally grab your shoulder and force you to turn around. No matter, Logan had formed another plan to help himself out.
As long as Logan got used to the presence of his new DI and His instructions stay simple, he'd get himself out of training for the day with ease. Which in itself, was a problem, the Fucking Guy would want to observe it happen, see if there were any mistakes, prove there was always something to be corrected. But what pissed Logan off was that He was Right. Keegan's clear instructions were much more ministering and insightful, to where, His were purposefully troubling, Logan would have no choice but to ask for assistance. That, 'Help' be physically in-tuned regardless on what type. He'd whisper too, to add on-to the slim factor, that maybe....Maybe He understood that there was some hesitant behavior there?
Brushing it off, like it was nothing, he didn't know just what would come of him ignoring it. This font, Adoration, would only further its existence on this plane, whatever Logan would would choose to do with the factor of it's clear appearance would change the lives of both himself and Him. And plans to differ the lives of either wasn't really on his bucket list, neither was finding out the Guy existed in the first place but look where he was. Right back where he started, under the tree, with Riley back on his lap and his shoeless feet scattering the grass's blades below. Knees folded over the others, he wasn't sure how in the hell he could keep writing after everything done today.
'My definition of Adoration. A small, tinge. Creeping into the chest. A folding over the sound, mind and body, overcome by a strong admiring, profound worship towards a god and or person.' He scribbled down next to the branching tree. It's sticks and leaves had small pecks of white spearing from them, possibly flowers. getting ready to bloom. And how nice they would smell, despite the sneezing from their lustful stench. Hopefully, they'd get a beautiful White Dogwood again like last year.
--
"Passion." This time, he'd brought Riley's new chew toy, made sure that there was no fallen tree bark to bite down on. But his little blue teething bone had done him well and now his jaw rest on his shoulder, watching the moon peel against the sky once again, it was much more softer now with the stars to back it up. Although, it was bright as always.
"A Gesture and Term used for warm affection or devotion, or strong feeling slash emotion." A Passionate awakening sat in the dark crevices of his mind, abandoned by it's owner in shock and what he claimed was denial. Unfortunate that he wasn't going to declare this passionate fueling to be of his own request. He caused it by thinking that nothing would come of it and that this feeling would go away. There's no telling, what did he do to get his life back on track now? It was deepening within his soul harbor, sheltering from the claws trying to force it out. So damn headstrong it had seemed to appear, while Logan just wanted to have faith that he wouldn't be as bold like he was with all other crushes.
Riley shuffled himself more closer to his owner's neck, puffing out the frustrated nostril exhales, and putting his little paws on both ends of his little wet snout. Chuckling at the Shepard's disappointment, he made sure to feather a kiss to the tip of his forehead for clearance. It was supposed to heal both of them, but what could possibly be healed if there constant damaging being done?
The cut he had created on his skin was still bleeding, only because he wasn't tending to it, he kept fending it off, suggesting that one day the cut would heal without any ointment. And sure, it possibly could, but he ran the possibility of it getting infected as well. If he kept ignoring it's clear warning, there would be consequences for his foul exertion, shit, David thought he didn't give a damn because of how careless he continued to act. But David was the literal opposite when it came to being in love, his ideology stepped over his inclination, preventing him from expelling how he felt to many people. Even Merrick, had to urge the truth out of him when talking about their own relationship, and it nearly broke him to see how closed in the boy's insecurities had made him. Logan had seen it screwed up on him, and sadly, he too was stuck in the similar predicament.
None other than spending more time with Him held it's own faults, it was only for a short lesson where as, the classroom doors were see-through. Logan still couldn't fathom why the hell the AIT and BCT buildings and spaces were shared but then again, this was post Odin. Most of their connections around different areas on the map were shutdown, or destroyed. So they split their fields dependent on the average of how many other soldiers there were, in which, the boys willing to fight for their country was a staggering eight.
So most of what Keegan would be training David on, could be seen and heard by what He and Logan were doing, vice versa. He'd often get distracted by the smallest details of the more exciting activities his brother would take part in rather than listen to whatever He was talking about. And every time he'd doze off, he would awaken to the tight and clenching grip of The Guy's fingers on his left shoulder. A painful endeavor, but it did work in more than one way.
By one, his focus planted itself right back onto The Man before him, and he'd play catch up with whatever was written on the board before He wiped it away. There wasn't much, he'd just have to reread some other basic stuff he'd have to reform later on in the comfort of his shared room. Nothing else would have his attention as soon as He made it clear to focus on only Him, Logan took it far more than serious, widening child like retinas, burning into His browns whenever He'd turn around to talk. It was, fine, for the moment, He wouldn't suspect why the blonde boy was giving Him so much eye, He instructed him to.
By two, when he took it seriously, he meant it a bit too much. His cheeks would get hot when his palm would reach over him and make him jump sheepishly through the thin clothing. His lips would curve to fix whatever emotion ran through him, exhorting the false impression to not make anything around him rise up in confusion. But the looks He gave, He was just too sporty, too cocky, an....Unregular cocky whenever He'd do it.
As with some mornings it would become a normal occurrence and he'd be told to sit at the front of the row so he wouldn't gaze over to the entrance of the other room. But sometimes that didn't even stop him, and when asked a question in the middle of their short lesson, Logan sat in silent, too zoned out to realize He'd stop talking. The blistering heat that caved his cheeks had zoomed him from the outer, and wounded him up with a pair of sixteen eyes on him, non-inclusive to His. He still managed to choke up something after He slammed the hard covered book down on his desk. His jerk back was quick, and had be noted by the silence in the room. Leaning over the desk, He stared deep into his soul without remorse, the dominancy of the browns fought each other in that struggle, not sure of where the sovereign demeanor came from, he was grateful for it and stuck it out even though he was minutes away from breaking.
To Logan's surprise, He was the first to break away, taking a double-back, not comprehending the situation correctly at first. But then His grin gave everything he needed to know for the rest of the day. The soon to be soldiers were already done with what they needed to do, however because of Logan's lack of Interest on said lesson, he was required to stay after to fulfill his learning experience. It's not like he could say no to it, and like hell he really wanted to, so for the remainder of the day, Logan wrote a full five paper essay on what his brother was learning in the classroom over. This was the catch, he was instructed to answer questions on the lesson His own just finished while in the span of an hour. So every few minutes by some writing, He would ask him to stop and answer a few before continuing to scribble down his thoughts before they left him. The entirety too, He stood in the room, not like He could've wrote them somewhere and left to go get something, no, no, he stood to stare, To ensure the lock of pressure on the blonde before him.
Most could complain about every single absent decision in his woes, but Logan however, wasn't doing any of that. He didn't complain, nor irked from the placement of work ahead of him. He was actually enjoying himself through the tiresome mind power and petty questions, despite forgetting some lines and sentences because of said questions throughout the ordeal. Or the times he'd have to start over on a paragraph because the thought was lost mid-way when He asked him to stand and salute for about a good three minutes. He was still....Happy. Happy to be close to someone he wanted to title with Passion. Hell, this was supposed to be a fucking punishment, and all he felt was.....Excited....Excitedly Delirious by the irony. The irony of Logan enjoying this treatment much more better, knowing that distancing himself wasn't going to work since his transfer, he might as well embrace what little sight of him he had.
To think that now, he'd begin to do it on purpose led him into another disastrous place to be. Outside with him during their only leisure timing, taking place during lunch. Usually, Logan would come outside anyway to get away from the eight others he had to name his team mates and write about whatever he felt like in slim notebook he kept in his pocket. But it wasn't that easy with Him now around. He would follow him everywhere, managing over the complete dietary means when Logan would get something small, and would direct him outside to where he was supposed to sit in total silence. Sure, it was beautiful, but the sun's heat wavering over the both of them forced Him to take off his jacket....The small blonde flustered, while pinning the other way. Totally not a bad idea after it was already done, was that he plucked the book from his back pocket to make himself appear busy and not focus on what He had done.
"What's that ya got' there? Lemme see."
By the looks of the over confident beside him, He had attempted confiscation of what would be considered against the punishment's rules. But Logan of course wasn't in the right head-space for it, pulling back as the realization of refusal set over him. His blood ran ice cold that fatal day as he scurried away to god knows where.
Now like the common, he sat under the maturing tree, it's white buds had grown in comparison to their elders. But that wasn't of his main focus, the jarring effects of what brung him closer to his own fruition was much more louder in regards. Those terms were of sleet, icy, Cold. A cold, freezing truth that would leave him with doubts, but he knew it was the right implication. He knew it was his full experience and the fact that hissy little word that came with it described it perfectly, furthered tht screwing anger.
The pen came back from the strands, clicking with the tip of Logan's fingernail and came down to scribble but stopped mid-way when a small, black cat appeared from behind the tree. Curling tail and all, her green eyes puckered from her skull ever so slightly, little paws meshing into the ground beneath her as she came to a stop. Sitting herself down right by Logan's left, where she attempted to nuzzle into his elbow's crease. Logan, being a lover of all different animals, had welcomed her in with a closed smile and confused glare in his eyes, but she didn't take notice.
Her paw, rubbing down swiftly on his thigh, awaking Riley. The blond shielded their visitor with an elbow, knowing that Riley would get aggressive, but surprisingly, he didn't mind her. Furry tail flopping and whooshing back and forth in the night air, he didn't attempt to run her off either. That was weird and all but what was much more odd was that she had pawed her way up to his stomach and flopped right down there to lay by Riley's side, ears snuggling between the restricted area of breathing.
"Woah." His words could explain the rather pellicular instance, and the giggle that escaped his shallow lungs after Riley licked the cat's fur back on the top of her head, caused the black feline to meow in annoyance. They rattled themselves down right there, soon before he knew it, both of the animals were now asleep on his thigh. And all he could do was lay against the tree and think, ponder, Hypothesize. What could all of it mean?
Black cats don't usually pop up out of no-where, and Riley doesn't get along with a-lot of other animals, especially cats. But he didn't even yelp, no barking, no growling, no sudden movements, this cat just plopped itself onto him and his Happy-Go-Lucky tail went haywire in the background. Like he.....had been waiting for her or something..
Some fingers over the cat's belly and head, he felt around for any scars or ruptures in the skin, making sure that nothing would harm his poor tired Riley. But there was nothing, not even a name tag bantered across the neck to show where she truly belonged? Maybe she had no home and she was just a street cat. Travels miles and miles away, no family, constantly running from the street dogs whom are always at war with each other, scourging for food everyday, it must have been rough. Riley appeared to have been surprised too by the new friend of his he made by such a simple gesture, he had enjoyed himself regardless, so Logan knew exactly what time this was. Elias will just have to be okay with their new little addition to the family., he'll take care of him anyway, he'd just have to warm up to the damn thing like he did baby Riley. And just to add to the sweet-ness, he'd name the small feline, 'Eros'. Now the boys would be fair in having pet privilege's, Riley was David's dog after-all.
'My Definition of Passion, A burning clot of rage, of anger, of joint suffering, that isn't really furiousness, but the beginning of a devotional desire. It may appear as anger, but it's the light of your will that casts that blindfold over your eyes, you are as irrational and irresistible to that devotional desire. And that fire will power that said Compulsion.' He finished dotting around the points and fixing little periods on the paper while Riley's snores blew Eros's ears right onto his thigh, he could care less if it went numb, as long as they were happy, he too, was joyous.
--
His night would've start the same only if Riley wouldn't have alerted his brother and father from their own beds, having to pretend as if he himself was sleep in the snugglish covers so they wouldn't ask anything. But as Eros's head peeped from the little gym bag he had tucked her in with the zipper down, her presence be known by the set of perplexed eyes. He had no choice, darting up out of his covers and grabbed Eros before his father would shoo her out, but he didn't look angry or anything. As Luck would have it, his father explained he just wanted to pet the little rascal and that Riley only barked because another cat from the neighborhood was at the glass window looking inside.
Uncovering the slim sheets from over Eros's small head, his father's nails clamped onto the fur and wiggled them around the best way he knew how. Never really thought that his father ever liked cats, but, it was better than Riley's new friend getting booted off the island so fast. David as well too, tranced by the purring and the meowing he happened to hear from the bathroom, his jaw dropped with half scrubbed toothpaste caking his gums and speed walked over to examine the cutesy in Logan's lap. Riley of course was sitting beside, awaiting his turn for the fair share of attention, ears up and tongue out panting, he made sure that he'd receive his own.
Upon joining his crewmates outside in the dining hall for the few days left in this literal shit-hole, those eight soldiers who recently wanted to show that they belonged in war, were getting ready to be transported. Hopefully, they'll be put somewhere else better than here. This is only a refuge camp in a way, until He was able to get in contact with some people overseas to transport them to much more safer regions. Logan was still unamused that they would be the only ones that had to stay here, the refuge was their only home, and it had some good defense just in case the Feds come sweeping through the area. But it was boring doing the routinely practice.
Eros followed too, curious on her new home, and exploring whatever she could. Since of the upcoming transfer, they had some time to relax before things get up and running again. But Merrick encouraged him not to stop his training, as one day of rest could screw the entire routine of discipline. What do you know? His boyfriend at least listened to him, David went to find Keegan some minutes later to resume the fun stuff they were doing earlier that day. Logan however, just wanted to go back to sleep, but he knew that whenever he was up, he couldn't fall back into blissful shuteye. He'd spend some more time with Eros, be her human tour guide if you will. Eros climbed up the side of his sleeping wear to sit and rest in the bending crook of the elbow just for him, off into the night they went.
There of course were no such thing as nice attractions to make people's eyes water anymore, but the view of the destroyed world upon the tree hill he uses to write under, was too much to see. Corruption plagued their world for years to come, scars that will never heal, souls that will never leave, and eyes that will never stop roaming. Eros however, was ecstatic to see how fucked the world had become, reaching out with her paw to try and touch, Logan held her back to not watch her fall. That's when He appeared.
"Soldier?" He was so silent in his steps, Logan honestly didn't know that He was coming straight from behind him, along with Eros. The spiny feline had jumped, clawing into Logan's shoulder with no vocal strain to bleed from his mouth. Riley had bit him too may times playful for him to weep over a simple claw.
Jabbing nearly into His chest when he whizzed, the back foot of his, lost its planting, and right in front of Him, Down he went. Well, he would've if it weren't for His palm latching onto Logan's arm just in time to stop his back slamming into the grass below. His fluster wasn't all that busted his balls him off, it was how he imagined himself looking. Sleep deprived blond, twinkish looking boy with wide eyes, static hair, the darkest eye bags known to man and a black cat riding his shoulder to observe. At 14:00(2:00Am) must he add, there was no fucking way in hell that this was the best impression, especially, in sleeping wear and no shoes. Bowing his head before the absolute rock in his way, he opened his mouth to say thank you but, He was faster.
"The hell ya goin' at a time like this? Shouldn't you be snoozin'?" Logan wished he could've gone back to fucking sleep, but this was his prime hour anyway. There was too much commotion in the dorms thanks to the eight soldiers readying themselves for transfer and David going back over feverish shit with Keegan on their bedsides. The only nice and silent place to be was, here. A safe place to be exact. And by the looks of it, the person he'd taken to such high quality was, in fact, invading the Sacred Garden. But He was the leader so there wasn't much he knew to do, besides, He didn't know how much this little piece of separated land meant to him. Miles away from base, guarded up by some other decaying trees and lonely garnish, and he'd still been found so easily.
"I-I, couldn't s-sleep." He kept the cooling to a minimum, baring the chest of what he seethed, his heart dumped on him, and if it weren't for the little squeeze that He gave, Logan would've fainted. Retracting his arm, he bent down on the outer bark of the tree, siting in his little spot as always and let Eros crawl into the space in between.
Almost chuckling, He waltzed to the edge of the hill, aka, where the slope began to start, the downwards spiral. Hands in His pockets, Logan nearly lost his mind when He had came down to sit by him, a leg propped up, and the other laying flat against the roots of their blossoming tree.
"Noise?" Fair time that He had spent sitting there before turning His head to meet His blonde soldier, but Logan was too busy petting the cat to notice. He nodded his head silently, fingertips digging behind her ears and giving her little back a sweet massage with the curling of his knuckles.
He gave a glance at Logan's thighs, seeing their intruder, His head tilted trying to figure out what is was until it purred and stretched out its head to come close to His inching face. Eros's bewildered paw came to clutch the pointed nose of The Elder beside him and He...Blinked? Did He not like cats or something? Stifling his laughter with the outer shell of his wrist, as serious as The Guy was, His noggin couldn't fully assimilate what the fuck that animal was doing. And because it, He laughed, For The Entire Time Here, Finally, He Laughed.
"Think He Likes Me?" His smile of teeth shown well, making Logan's face gawk since of the cheeky smile He had presented. Logan wished, upon that mighty star that shined so bright in the dark, that He'd remain with His beautiful smiles, how charming His browns slanted when the corners of His mouth went up in pleasure.
"She." Correcting Him swiftly, Eros looked like she approved, her other paw had already came over the left side of His nose and patted it with gentle remarks. Still a little fumbled by the other human entering her space, her tail went up as she yawned, drawling back into the safe net of Logan's thighs. That was, until He reached between Logan's legs, grabbing up the kitten and held it in mid-air by the stomach to analyze.
She didn't even blink an eye at the position she was in, and just hung there for awhile until meowing and yawning once more. Logan on the other hand, had been flushing beet red all over his tainted cheeks, Shameful to be this acknowledgeable of that stupid, aching in his fucking heart. There'd be no over emphasizing, no rattling thoughts, no conjuring...sentiment, crawling into his body like now. Just by one touch alone, hell, it wasn't even a touch, it was the brush of His knuckles after they passed through.
"Why'd ya run?" So that's why He was here, not for any well being, not for over curiosity, not for..Logan's actual interest. He just needed to take care of some business, and that business not be of crossing the boundaries of his job title. But, no one cared about laws anymore so it didn't really matter at this point if he tried.
Logan answered Him truthfully, just saying that he wasn't really comfortable with what He had tried to take away from him. In fear of what He would know, he wouldn't know what the fuck to do if He got His hands on it,. Though he could ask why He let him go free, or the reasons for why He allowed Logan to run. In any other lawful camp around the world, Logan's rushing legs would've gotten him a nice, steaming hot, Fracture.
There was troubling silence, from both sides. Just the sound of crickets and a relaxing purr from Eros to shatter the barrier of quietness. Even then, Logan could still feel His knuckles that brushed upon his inner thighs, god he craved so much more of it by the days in the future and right now in this heavenly moment. Yeah it was quiet between both men, but it honestly was one of the best silences he'd found himself swimming in. Some anguish, maybe? Or...What was the correct word?....Ambivalence towards Him? Pensiveness guided by the way he felt towards Him? That could be it, but the love for Him was overpowering the extreme fire of flaming hatred bubbling within. Was that even fucking hate to begin with?
Or, it was How Fond He seemed. Yeah, that's is. He'd never been this talkative with anyone else in the platoon except the close guys, never even talked to David all that much either, His time was often spent inside of His office, away from the big bodies of social groups. But here He was, in the dead of night, sitting at the right of Logan's hip, playing with a fucking cat Logan had swiftly adopted. It felt like it was supposed to happen, like He was supposed to be Fond. In both ways, as his flustering had shown him. Like it was needed for him to open his eyes and understand the facts as they are printed. Logan labeled himself as foolish because his love was so stupidly inclined to someone of high authority. The power surge of what He could do, made his knees jolt and legs twitch, especially His loudness and how He wasn't afraid to confront His problems. No wonder why He'd been so direct in His investigation.
But that couldn't be all, this was no ordinary trip that He made. He's disappeared from sights often after the work of the soldiers were done, around transfer time, He'd be in His office from night to day arranging where the soldiers were going to go. Not sitting outside playing about and having a...Nice time it seemed. Which is where the Fond feeling came from. Was this His way of showing genuine care for His other soldiers? Was this a sign of that simplistic word? To be Fond, one individual guides their tail lights in the direction of clear reassurance, whether it be of serious matter or foolish inquiry, that individual makes it present that their warmth and their acts of benevolence meet public eyes. Maybe...By some long shot this was...That He...He was trying to show?
It be Fondness, in all it's definitions. A predisposition, his leaking heart cried to. It felt good to stare, to talk, to be in the presence of Him, but was it healthy? Hell No. Was it the reason why he carried himself high despite not wanting to be here? Hell No. Was it what he needed? Hell No. He only behaved that certain way when in the midst of Him, his heart didn't speak volumes until He came in the room, and yes, it broke him up inside. The feeling of needing someone in his life to bring him joy, knowing fully well that he wasn't able to get Him, made him crack. Calling it desperate, the wimps of his throbbing pain didn't stop him from loving The Guy more and fucking more. It was Insalubrious. And to trust that this wasn't going to fall into pieces if one thing were to be exposed to the public eye, wasn't all the great either.
"Fondness." Eros had calmed, sleeping restfully as this time, Riley was now up. salivating on the grass for all to see. Paws fisted atop Eros's back, maybe his job was now to protect the girl in his arms. A cool breeze passed to swish some buds from the early tree, landing on the front page of his black notebook, paying it no mind, he resumed writing as always. Cursive hand writing a tad sloppy, but the restlessness could excuse that for him.
"My Definition Of Fondness. Near to the tinge of Adoration, and the Negatively attributed film of Passion, Fondness be the act and position of being familiar, and somehow, it's intention to belong is greatly impacted by its non-debatable prediction. The prediction of what? How it feels to Love and Need. " Like said, He knew exactly what it felt like to belong, He belonged in the military, knew what He wanted to do, knew how to get what He pleased. But the blond, Didn't. His prediction of self worth guided it's way right back onto what made him content, and He made him joyous. Without Him there, what would possibly be of his self worth? He'd say, There'd Be None.