Work Text:
The afternoon sun glinted off the door when Bruno walked into the pub, a nearly perceptible spring in his steps matching the wide smile on his face, both obvious signs to even the most casual of observers as to his general good mood ─ not that that would be an uncommon sight. After all, one would usually count on Bruno Kaminski to have a smile on his lips and a joke at the tip of his tongue.
The man sitting at one of the high tables in the back was more observant than most and he also had the added bonus of being one of Bruno’s best friends, so his eyes tracked his progress towards him with interest. While it was true that he could always expect the comedian to present to the world his rather goofy and sunny disposition on any given day, it seemed there was something else behind the energy surrounding him today.
“Youcef, my boy!” Bruno greeted him with a huge grin, clapping a hand warmly on his shoulder before taking the seat opposite him.
His friend merely raised an eyebrow back at him, a barely-there smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. “Boy? You do remember I’m two years older than you, yes?”
“Alright, my good sir. Excuse-moi, monsieur.” Bruno said gamely in an exaggerated French accent.
“Although many people would be hard pressed to know it, as I’m obviously far more mature.” Youcef rolled his eyes gently before bringing his glass of sparkling water up to his lips.
“Mate, don’t start on me with the whole grumpy Frenchman routine already,” Bruno said dismissively with a laugh even as he signalled a waitress over.
“Why not?” He challenged, his voice soft and a gleam visible in his dark eyes. “You’re obviously about to get into your bad comedian routine.”
“Oh-ho-ho, touché.” Bruno made a silly sort of half curtsy before he turned to the waitress who approached their table.
Youcef watched him indulgently with a small smile even as his friend joked easily with the waitress before placing his order. The pub was one of Bruno’s favourite dives, not really the sort of place that Youcef would frequent these days, but he always made an exception for him whenever their busy schedules would align and they had time to meet in person. He supposed that for someone watching them without any context they made an interesting duo, one so unlike the other ─ Youcef with his carefully bleached and coiffed hair and obviously expensive yet subdued clothes, Bruno with his colourful patterned shirt and blow-dried hair with the ridiculous (in Youcef’s opinion) frosted tips.
And it was true that they might have never met if it wasn’t for the fact that they had the same agent, Valentina Castillo, who had introduced them during an event that her PR firm had organised a few years before. Despite having such different personalities and against all odds the two of them had become fast friends.
“So tell me, mon cher.” Youcef said once the waitress had left their table. “What has put you in such a good mood hmm?”
“Life is good, my friend!” Bruno said cheerfully. “I’m halfway through my tour and most dates are sold out. There’s a couple of interviews scheduled for next month and I’m also itching to try out some new material at the clubs when it all winds down.”
“I’m happy for you.” Youcef told him with a quiet and sincere smile. He knew how much Bruno had dedicated to his craft in the last few years and how he was sowing all the rewards of his hard work. “You deserve all the good things coming your way. Although it does make me fear for the state of Britain’s collective sense of humour.” He added the last jab with an obvious teasing smirk.
Bruno took no offence at the words and simply gave him a wide grin in return, as after many years he knew that Youcef’s teasing, dry humour was his own brand of love language.
“Yeah, things seem to be going so well. Almost too well.” He said, his eyes darting away and a small sigh escaping.
“Oh?” Youcef merely intoned, raising an eyebrow at him before taking another sip from his glass.
Bruno’s light blue eyes darted back to him and he seemed to try to suppress the smile overcoming his lips before giving up on that losing battle. “Yeah. So I met a girl. And mate, I swear, I think I’m in love.”
The French man couldn’t help the small, low chuckle that escaped and the slight shake of his head at hearing those words. Bruno himself couldn’t stop his own laughter as he looked back at him. Right then the waitress breezed by and put a pint of beer before him and the two just enjoyed a moment as they silently clicked their glasses and sipped their drinks.
Youcef didn’t doubt what his friend said, although he would debate that between the two of them they had very different definitions of ‘falling in love’. For as long as he’d known him, he saw Bruno falling in love almost as easily as breathing. A cute girl at the crowd watching his set, a salesgirl at a store when they went shopping together, a new assistant in the PR team handling his affairs, a bartender at a club when they’d go out, one of Youcef’s model friends when he’d come out to watch one of his fashion shows. Bruno just wore his heart on his sleeve and the poor little thing would flutter in excitement, never worrying if his hopes and dreams were about to be smashed to pieces before anything had even really happened.
Which was the complete opposite of how Youcef would go about things. Ever since Camille, he’d hide behind his armour of smouldering good looks, high fashion clothes and lavish lifestyle, easily engaging others in physical intimacy while keeping his heart hidden behind locked doors and avoiding any type of real, heartfelt intimacy. Well, at least that was what he’d been doing in the last few years until…
Anyway, he shook his head to get out of his own thoughts and focus back on his friend. He could see Bruno was bursting to share the story with him and Youcef should have time to tell his own tale later. “Tell me all about it. Have you actually gone out with her yet?”
“Oh ha ha.” Bruno replied easily, a sardonic eyebrow raised, but his lips still sported a smile. “Yeah, I know you’re always making fun of me for my ‘love at first sight’ tendencies and how I say I’m in love with a different girl every week, but I’ll have you know I’ve actually been going out with her for two months now.”
“Really?” Youcef asked, watching him with interest, as it seemed like this time there was something substantial behind the words his friend would usually throw out rather carelessly.
“Yeah,” Bruno replied, his eyes and smile sparkling. “We both have busy schedules, so it gets tricky but we meet up every chance we get. When I’m on the road we just chat for hours on the phone after I’m done with my set and honestly… I’ve never felt like this before.” He said, a happy sigh escaping his lips, a serene, contented expression taking over his features.
“That sounds great.” Youcef gave him a small smile back. “How did you two meet?”
“She pulled me up for a chat after one of my sets at the stand up club.” Bruno explained. “At first I couldn’t believe she was really into me, she’s just so bloody gorgeous! And she’s smart, too. Way too smart for me. Went to Oxford and now works as a manager at a big pharma company.”
“Oh?” Youcef merely said, one eyebrow twitching up momentarily. Something stirred deep down in his stomach as he heard those words, but surely they wouldn’t mean anything? Lots of people went to Oxford and worked at pharma companies in the city.
“Yeah, I know, not the type of girl you’d think would be into me, right?” Bruno said easily with a smile. “But she’s genuinely one of the nicest girls I’ve ever met. We can chat about anything for hours. And she could give your model friends a run for their money, too! Picture this: light tanned skin, deep blue eyes that shine brightly like sapphires, golden hair as smooth as silk.” He said in an exaggerated tone, making wide hand gestures as his description veered into waxing poetic territory before continuing in a less joking tone.
“She even got a beauty spot near the corner of her eye that makes her look like those golden age movie stars. She’s about 5’7 with legs that go on for days and her hips…” He let out a breathy sort of chuckle as he shook his head a little. “I don’t wanna get crass, but man, her hips drive me crazy.”
“Sounds like a real bombshell.” Youcef commented softly, a barely visible frown forming a line between his eyebrows. The more he heard about this girl, the more he felt like an unpleasant feeling was spreading throughout his body, but he didn’t think his friend had noticed anything strange in his demeanour so far.
“Tell me about it!” Bruno said with another light laugh. “She’s always dressed to perfection when we go out, I can’t believe she’s willing to be seen in public with an idiot like me.” He chuckled in that self-deprecating manner that was a signature part of his humour. “But to be honest my favourite look is when she’s at home just lounging about, her hair up in a messy bun. I feel like no one else gets to see her just like that, you know? So relaxed as she just scrolls through her phone, biting on her lip and running a finger on the pendant with the letter S on the golden chain around her neck. I swear, she never takes it off, it’s almost like a part of her, like the tattoo she has on her ribs of the moon and stars that she got— "
“─after her name.” Youcef completed the thought before he could stop himself, the two of them speaking the words in unison.
“Yeah,” Bruno said, giving him a somewhat amused and confused frown. “How did you know? What, did you become a mind reader since we last saw each other?”
Youcef just stared back at his friend for a moment, unsure of what to do. “Merde,” he murmured softly under his breath before taking a sip as he avoided his eyes. As the glass hit the table with a dull thud, his fingers slipped into his pocket and he pulled out his phone. “I can’t believe this is happening, but…”
He could feel Bruno’s eyes watching him in confusion and Youcef swallowed with difficulty before turning his phone over and showing him something on the screen. He could see the moment realisation dawned on him, but a part of his friend was still confused as his mouth hung slightly open and he pointed a finger at him. “Hey, that’s my…” Bruno’s voice trailed off, his brow furrowing. “Youcef, why do you have a picture of my girlfriend on your phone?”
“I swear to you on my life, mon ami, I had no idea.” Youcef said, his voice coming out softly but his eyes were shining earnestly. “I met her a couple of months ago at an after-party for a fashion show and we’ve been seeing each other ever since.”
“Are you fucking kidding me?” Bruno said, his voice deadpan and still considerably calm despite his words. “So my girl and my best friend…”
“She never said she was seeing anyone else.” Youcef was quick to say, rather defensively. “In fact, I remember her specifically saying she was single when she approached me, asking if she could buy me a drink.”
Bruno blinked dazedly at him for a moment. “That’s the same thing that happened to me.” He paused and saw his friend just nodding back at him. “She’s been playing us both.”
“It would appear it is so, yes.” Youcef said with a long sigh.
“Oh man…” Bruno whispered, leaning back on his chair and running his hands over his face. His fingers went into his hair and he avoided his friend’s eyes for a moment before asking. “Was it just like a casual sex thing or…?” He trailed off with a shrug, as he knew most of Youcef’s relationships tended to be like that.
“I…” Youcef said, his mouth hanging open for a moment as he debated on how to answer this, but he’d always been brutally honest to a fault and it wouldn’t do to lie now, even if a part of him wished it weren’t true, if only to protect his friend. But he also knew Bruno had a tendency to forgive too easily and he deserved to know the truth. “Honestly? No, not for me. And up until now I had thought not for her, either.”
“Shit.” He closed his eyes and hung his head for a moment. “I really thought she was the one, y’know? Well, what are the odds?” He said with a smile that somehow managed to be sardonic, rueful and heartbreaking at the same time.
“Most unlikely.” Youcef said quietly, his lips pressed on a thin line.
“I guess this is it, then.” Bruno let out a long-suffering sigh and shook his head. “I knew this was too good to be true. She was like one in a million.”
They remained in silence for a few moments, just sipping their drinks as the shock washed over them. “What are you going to do about it?” Youcef asked with a raised eyebrow.
Bruno shot him a look, the corner of his lips turning up in a rather humourless smirk now. “Well, seeing as the ground still hasn’t opened up to swallow me whole, I guess I’ll have to do all the legwork myself and just… disappear?” He finished with a shrug.
“What?” Youcef asked sharply, a frown marked between his eyebrows. “Why should you have to hide away?”
“Uh, to spare myself from the pain and utter humiliation?” The comedian raised an eyebrow at him as if that should’ve been obvious. “I mean, I know I joke a lot about this kind of stuff on stage, but even for me this is a bit too much.”
“You have nothing to be ashamed of. You’re not the one who did anything wrong.” Youcef insisted in a firm tone. “In fact, we should both confront her and say our piece.”
“Hard pass.” Bruno retorted promptly, his words coming out along a short bark of laughter. “Hi, have you met me? I’m the least confrontational person, ever.”
“And you know I don’t suffer fools gladly.” The French model insisted, crossing his arms over his chest. “I believe in honesty and openness, and what she did to the both of us is… detestable.” He said, a sneer forming on his lips. “She should at least hear that we figured her out and will no longer be pawns in her game.”
“Oh man.” Bruno whispered, looking up for a moment as if asking for strength from some deity above before running one hand over his face and looking back at his friend. “Yeah, I know, you’re right. Fuck. How do we do this?”
Youcef’s sneer morphed seamlessly into a smirk then. “When we made plans to meet today, you mentioned you were coming back into town earlier than planned. Does she know?”
Bruno shook his head. “No, I was gonna surprise her later.”
“Well, we can still do that.” His friend said, a gleam visible in his dark eyes. “I’ve been texting her and we had arranged for a dinner date tonight. How about you join us hmm?” He suggested with a raised eyebrow.
Slowly, a smirk also took form on Bruno’s lips and he nodded back.
They made the arrangements and parted ways to get ready for the night and to put their plan into action. Normally Youcef would make a point to pick her up if they were going out, but he made an excuse of a last minute meeting with his manager and said he’d meet her at the restaurant. She agreed to it quite easily, unsuspecting that anything was amiss.
That night, the two friends were sitting at the bar in the lounge area of one of Youcef’s favourite restaurants, watching the entrance avidly until they saw her walking in through the front door. Youcef could see the pang of pain cross on Bruno’s face as they just observed her for a moment. She did look quite exquisite, golden hair pinned up and a few loose strands elegantly framing her face, the golden chain with the delicate S pendant gleaming just above her modest cleavage, her hips swaying tantalisingly as her dress swished around her legs, the deep blue of its fabric no doubt highlighting her bright sapphire eyes.
She went straight to the maitre’d who had been instructed to lead her to a secluded table on the back near the window. Both men looked at each other and traded a nod before downing their drinks and Youcef pushed off against the bar, heading towards her first.
“Youcef, darling.” She said, a dazzling smile forming on her full lips as she saw him appear suddenly before her.
“Bonsoir, bébé.” He said smoothly, leaning in and kissing both her cheeks before taking a seat in front of her. “My apologies for meeting you straight here. I hope I didn’t keep you waiting too long.”
“No, not at all. It was perfect timing, I just got here.” She said with an easy smile, reaching across the table to take his hand.
“Good.” He said, his smile sharp. “I hope you don’t mind, I ran into a friend at my meeting and invited him to join us.”
He looked up just as Bruno approached them, his hands stuffed into the pockets of his trousers, looking like the very picture of casual coolness despite how nervous he had been earlier. She looked up as well, her eyes widening a little as he stood next to their table.
“Hello.” Bruno said with a smile, his voice somehow coming out way smoother than they’d expected.
“Oh.” She said a little breathlessly, blinking up at him for a moment. “This is your friend?” She glanced at Youcef before reaching her hand towards Bruno. “I think I know you. The comedian, Bruno Kaminski, right?”
Youcef let out a loud, humourless laugh then, drawing attention to himself. “Ah chérie. Are you seriously attempting to say you don’t know him?”
She looked back at him with a frown, withdrawing her hand as Bruno never reached for it. “Well, I know who he is, but I’d never met him before.”
“Really?” Bruno scoffed in disbelief. “You’re gonna keep denying it even now?”
“I swear, I don’t know what you’re─”
“Hey! There you are, you dropped your phone in the cab—"
The three of them looked up as another person approached their table, hand outstretched with a phone in her hand and suddenly they were all frozen in place. Bruno did a comical double take as the woman drawing closer to them was the exact spitting image of the one sitting down at the table, only this one had her blonde hair cascading in gentle waves down her shoulders and she was wearing a business casual black dress.
“Bruno?” She said, brow furrowing as she realised he was standing next to her. “What are you doing here?”
“What am I doing here?” Bruno repeated in an utterly befuddled state. “I think I might be having a stroke, that’s what. Am I seeing double or, or — what in the world is going on?” He said, reaching for a chair and shakily sitting down.
“Wait, you thought—" The woman sitting at the chair said, interrupting herself as she pointed from Youcef to Bruno before both women looked at each other and burst out laughing.
“Bruno, this is my sister, Selena.” The woman standing said, once their laughter had subsided, gesturing from the man still sitting in apoplectic shock towards the woman who was sitting down.
“And Youcef, this is my sister, Stella.” The one who had been introduced as Selena gestured from the French man towards the woman standing next to her.
“What?” Bruno said rather dumbly while Youcef could only raise both his eyebrows as he took them in. “I mean… What?”
“Twin sisters?” Youcef asked, his soft voice not quite masking the shock he was in.
“Yes.” The women said in unison, smiling and nodding at them.
“But your uni, your job, the necklace, the tattoo—" Bruno said, still spluttering in disbelief.
“Yes, we went to the same uni and work at the same pharma company now. I’m a product manager in the marketing department.” Selena said, still with a smile before gesturing with a hand at her sister. “Stella is a project manager in the clinical research department.”
“And we got matching necklaces for our 18th birthday, then we got the same tattoo on our ribs to represent our names.” Stella picked up on the explanation. “Moon and stars? Selena and Stella?”
“Mon Dieu,” Youcef whispered, still a little dazed but shaking his head as if to clear his thoughts. “This is quite unbelievable.”
“No shit,” Bruno muttered under his breath. “I mean, what are the odds?” He said, before his eyes found Youcef’s and they both burst into laughter.
A little while later the four of them were sitting at the table, laughing together and having drinks after placing their dinner order.
“I remember you said your sister was your best friend,” Bruno commented, a smile etched on his lips and he shook his head a little as he held Stella’s hand over the table. “But you never said she was your identical twin sister.”
“I’m sorry,” Stella said, laughter in her voice as she squeezed his hand. “I swear it wasn’t on purpose, I really thought I had mentioned it.”
“Well, I’m really glad this whole thing turned out to be nothing but a huge misunderstanding.” Bruno said, his clear blue eyes sparkling as he looked back at his girlfriend.
“Despite the confusion, it’s actually great that we happen to be dating two guys that are already best friends.” Selena said with a smile, glancing from her sister to Youcef.
“It certainly leads to less chance of having awkward double dates or family functions.” Youcef said with a nod, bringing Selena’s hand up to press a gentle kiss on her knuckles.
“I wasn’t even thinking about all of that,” Bruno said, a huge grin on his face. “You two have just given me the best material of my life.”
They all laughed at his remark, raising their glasses to toast to the future set of jokes he’d get to tell on stage and thankful that in the end everything had worked out perfectly for all of them.