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Now that Gwendolyn had accepted that she had been neglecting Lilith emotionally, the older woman promised both herself and Lilith that she wouldn’t be leaving her oldest daughter without letting her know that she loved her. “I love you, Lilith. You’re doing a good job.” Lilith’s heart soar at the praise and she smiled at her mother, happy that the woman didn’t mind giving her the words she always longed to hear. Lilith felt her heart pump against her chest at hearing the words and it caused her to smile at the older woman.
“Thank you, Mother.” Lilith responded softly, happy that the woman was willing to be affectionate with her for the time being.
***
For the first few weeks of Gwendolyn was doing fine, making sure to be affectionate with her oldest daughter. However, after a few weeks, Gwendolyn found herself thinking about other things for her daughter, wondering if she was wanting a relationship or something else with someone. “Lilith, do you want a relationship?” Gwendolyn found herself asking one day and Lilith blinked at her cutely.
“I have never thought about getting into one. Do I need to?” Lilith questioned, worry in her eyes. Gwendolyn immediately backtracked, quietly apologizing to her daughter.
“No, no. You don’t need to have a relationship. You’re perfect the way you are, I promise.” She told her daughter and she smiled at the smile of relief on the woman’s face. That’s the face that needs to be there. Gwendolyn was pleased to see Lilith happy. She deserves to be happy. The older witch thought, not wanting to upset Lilith like she has been doing for a long time. Gwendolyn wanted to make up for all of the pain she had caused Lilith and now she had the perfect reason to do so. “I love you, Sweet Flea.” Gwendolyn spoke to the younger woman and Lilith smiled at her mother, happy to be hanging out with her mother.
“I love you too, Mother.” Lilith responded to Gwendolyn, who smiled softly at how happy she sounded.
***
After a few more weeks had passed, Gwendolyn knew she couldn’t ignore the feelings she was feeling. She wanted her daughter under her thumb once again but this time, she wanted to do it lovingly and without pain. Gwendolyn knew she had to grow while learning how to love Lilith properly, knowing that her dear daughter would never love her the way she loves her. And I’m okay with that. Gwendolyn knew she didn’t have the right to be selfish, knowing that she was lucky to even be blessed with Lilith’s appearance in her life. Damn it. Gwendolyn knew she had to start being careful, not wanting Lilith to become aware that her own mother wanted to love her in other ways.
Gwendolyn frowned, not wanting Lilith to start knowing that the woman held feelings that weren’t just motherly towards her. She would freak out if she knew but I just want to love her. The older witch knew she couldn’t stop loving Lilith, especially not when she was reconnecting with the younger woman. I love her so very much. Gwendolyn knew she had to start saying other things that mean that she loves her daughter in a different way. At this point, she will start noticing that something is different. Gwendolyn stared at Lilith, who smiled softly at her mother. “What’s wrong, Mother? You’ve been frowning for a while now.” Lilith noted and Gwendolyn noticed the worry in her eyes. Shit, I startled her. She didn’t mean to startle her daughter but now that she has, Gwendolyn knew she had to comfort her.
“It’s nothing, dear. I’m doing fine.” The older woman knew she had to keep her emotions toward Lilith minor, knowing that the woman was going to notice when she was uncomfortable. Gwendolyn didn’t want to startle Lilith and yet, all she wanted was to taste the woman’s lips. She didn’t care that Lilith would never be able to reciprocate; she just wanted to love Lilith the way she wanted to love her and yet, she knew that the younger woman would just be frightened by the attempts of romance, especially if it was coming from her mother. I don’t want to scare her and yet, all I want is to love her, no matter what. Gwendolyn started smirking at Lilith and the younger woman noticed the smirk that was her mother’s lips.
“Mother?” Lilith let out a small whimper, wondering what the older woman wanted from her. Lilith let out another whimper when Gwendolyn approached her, before wrapping her arms around the woman’s waist and pulling her closer. Gwendolyn gently wrapped one hand around one of Lilith’s wrists, keeping the woman trapped against her body. “Mother…” Lilith couldn’t help the whimper that left her lips, knowing that her mother was scaring her and she didn’t like it.
“Shh. I won’t hurt you.” Gwendolyn knew she was telling the truth, as she wasn’t filled with thoughts of hurting Lilith. All she really wanted to do was just love the younger woman.
“But Father…” Lilith was trying to wrestle herself free from her mother’s grip and yet, the older woman’s grasp felt firm against her physically weaker daughter.
“What he wants doesn’t matter to me anymore. I just want you in my life.” Gwendolyn said with a small grin on her face. “You are important to me.” Gwendolyn knew that her oldest daughter was never going to feel neglected once Gwendolyn made her aware of how much she loved her.
“Mother, this is wrong. This is obsessive.” Lilith whimpered and yet, all Gwendolyn did was just grin at her.
“So what if it is obsessive? As long as I can keep you around, then I will be able to show you how much I love you.” Gwendolyn wasn’t listening to Lilith and the woman was sure that the older witch wasn’t going to listen to her.
Did I do this? Lilith wondered if it was her fault that her mother wanted to love her in a different way than was expected and yet, she knew she couldn’t have expected her mother to have started loving her in a different way.
After all, Gwendolyn was just odd and now, Lilith just found out how much.