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Sleepovers weren’t necessarily uncommon for Tsukishima and Yamaguchi, but this one was certainly different.
After going to watch to watch Akiteru’s game, Yamaguchi led his friend out of the Karasuno gymnasium and back to his house. Tsukishima followed quietly and didn’t argue, so Yamaguchi figured that he had read correctly that Tsukki didn’t feel up to returning to the Tsukishima household anytime soon.
Or at least, he really hoped he was reading his friend right, because he hadn’t said a word since they left the gymnasium.
“Tsukki, dinner will be ready soon. Oh and my mom called your mom, so she knows where you are.” Tadashi closed the door behind him as he returned to his room, finding Tsukishima sitting on the floor in front of his bed, exactly where he had been when Tadashi left to talk to his mom ten minutes ago.
Tsukishima silently nodded that he had heard him and Yamaguchi sighed. His best friend was really shaken by what they had seen, which was understandable. Hell, Tadashi felt out of sorts himself. But it really wasn’t like Tsukki to be so withdrawn into himself and it scared Yamaguchi.
He quietly sat next to his friend, leaning his back against the side of his bed. “Are you okay, Tsukki?” He kept his voice low in an attempt to break the silence without startling him.
Tsukishima’s amber eyes shifted to briefly look at the smaller boy sitting next to him before looking back at his own knees. For a few minutes the silence continued and Yamaguchi briefly considered the idea that Tsukki was just going to sit in silence all night before the blonde actually spoke.
“Aki-nii lied.” The blonde visibly curled further into himself as he tucked his knees up to his chest and wrapped his arms around his legs.
“Tsukki….” Since he didn’t know what else to do, Yamaguchi gently rested a hand on his friend’s shoulder in an attempt to comfort him.
“He lied.” The words were bitter as Tsukishima spat them out, as though keeping them in was poisoning his tongue.
“Yeah, but I’m sure he meant well,” Yamaguchi tried to be consoling, but Tsukki just shook his head harshly.
“He lied, Yamaguchi. Hell, he lied to both of us.” The harsh tone in his voice tried to hide the undercurrent of pain that Yamaguchi could tell was there.
“I know, Tsukki,” Yamaguchi couldn’t keep the sadness out of his voice and that only seemed to fuel Tsukishima as he spat out more venomous words.
“It’s pathetic.” Each sentence Tsukishima blurted out seemed like an even sharper verbal barb than the one before it. “This whole thing is stupid. Lying is stupid. Volleyball is stupid. Aki-nii is—“ Tsukishima’s voice wavered and broke, forcing him to stop and swallow the end of his sentence.
Yamaguchi didn’t know what to say so he just moved his hand to rub circles on his friend’s back. Quiet, unacknowledged sobs filled the silence as the two boys sat together.
When Tadashi’s mother came to call the boys to dinner, the tears had stopped and only quiet sniffles remained. If she noticed the slight redness of Tsukishima’s eyes under his glasses, then she was wise enough not to say anything. Dinner itself was also quiet, with only a few pleasantries and compliments about the meal being spread.
It wasn’t until they were back in Tadashi’s room that Tsukishima spoke again. He was settling in to the futon set up for him net to Yamaguchi’s bed when he cleared the thickness out of his throat.
“I don’t want to be like Aki-nii.”
Yamaguchi could nearly feel his heart break in his chest as he looked over at his best friend, who was kneeling on the futon with distant eyes and a jaw tight with resignation. If was so hard to believe that just the day before, those same eyes had practically sparkled with excitement at the prospect of finally seeing his hero, Aki-nii on the court.
“I’m done with volleyball.” The finality in his voice didn’t waver, but Tsukki still avoided his friend’s gaze, focusing his eyes on his folded hands instead.
“Tsukki…”
“What? Do you still want to play?” When Tsukishima’s frustrated gaze landed on his best friend, the sheepish look on Yamaguchi’s face was enough of an answer. “Why?!”
Tadashi tried not to flinch at his friend’s harsh tone. He’s just hurting, that’s all. He doesn’t mean it.
“Because it’s fun, Tsukki. Didn’t you have fun?” Despite trying to be in control of his voice, his tone still came out as pleading as he tried to reason with the blonde.
“No.” Tsukshima had to look away from his friend’s earnest face, threading his fingers more tightly together as he lied.
Yamaguchi let out a weary sigh. “It’s been a long day, Tsukki. How about we sleep on it?”
Tsukishima didn’t say anything more as they got ready for bed and Yamaguchi felt mildly guilty for not being able to calm talk him down as he turned off the light.
In the darkness, the tension seemed less scary and Yamaguchi finally found the courage to say a few more words. “You’re hurting now, Tsukki, but it will be fun again, I promise. Just… we have to stick with it.”
When Tsukishima didn’t respond, Tadashi started to wonder if maybe the other boy had already fallen asleep. Just as Yamaguchi was about to nod off himself, he heart a quiet response.
“You better prove it, Yamaguchi.”
And with that, both boys were able to fall asleep to bitter-sweet dreams of healed hearts and an eventual happy future.