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It was all too much.
The sounds, the lighting, the mental stimulation.
It was all too much for Steve’s fragile brain to handle right now. The lunch cafeteria was roaring with noise from everyone piling in and migrating towards their own friendship groups for the one hour of “peace” the students get from their classes.
Peace for them was like a nightmare for Steve some days, he could usually mask his discomfort fairly easily, but days like today had him already at his limit the moment he sat down at the Hellfire table. One too many hits to the head had meant that he was prone to debilitating migraines, triggered by the slightest of sounds, smells or sudden movements. The trauma from the Upside Down had left Steve constantly on edge, always hyper alert, in a permanent state of fight or flight mode. It left him feeling overwhelmed and over stimulated more often than he would like to admit, exhausted from his own mind running a mile a minute to torture himself.
Wincing a little as he sat, moving his head out of the way on autopilot, out of pure routine at this point, whilst Eddie threw another one of his dried snack pieces at the younger members of their group. Steve didn’t know what they had done to warrant that kind of response out of his boyfriend, but frankly he wasn’t in the right headspace to interfere or even care.
It was probably something menial that his otherwise sweet boyfriend had of course overreacted to, that was the most likely scenario between the group. Steve had already zoned out of whatever conversation was happening around him, fiddling with the pull tab on the can of soda he had placed in front of himself, trying to block out the world around himself.
“Isn’t that right, babe?” Eddie asked, pulling Steve from his thoughts.
“Huh? What?” Steve snapped back to reality, glancing over at his curly haired boyfriend with a puzzled look on his face, eyes searching Eddie’s face for some context for what he had missed.
“Nothing, nothing,” he dismissed, changing the subject, allowing for the rest of the group to be lost in conversation once again as they were so blissfully unaware of Steve’s struggle right now, “you okay?” he asked, voice hushed for Steve’s benefit.
The younger man offered a measly nod in agreement, clearly his acting wasn’t very convincing as Eddie had his little puppy dog eyes lingering on him, trying to show that he didn’t believe Steve without drawing too much attention to it. His gaze flickering down to see that Steve was gnawing at his lower lip and abandoning the can in favour of toying with the skin around his own nails.
It all clicked in an instant for him, Steve was clearly overstimulated. A light bulb went off in his mind, taking a mere few seconds to put the context clues together and know that he needed an out.
Eddie stood up without saying much, offering his ring clad fingers in Steve’s direction as he used his free hand to scoop the jock’s backpack over his shoulder. Taking his hand delicately and tangling their fingers together with a soft smile on his face, trying to reassure Steve that the struggling won’t last much longer. Steve then stood on shaking legs, knees threatening to buckle, gripping his boyfriend’s palm like it was his lifeline as Steve brushed down his shirt with his free hand.
“Where are you guys going?!” Dustin cried out a little, confusing riddling his face as both elder members of the group stood up whilst he was mid-sentence.
“We’re gonna go make out, mind your business, nerd,” Eddie grinned down at the younger kid, ruffling up his hair in the process which elicited an annoyed groan from Dustin.
“Ew, gross, really?!” Dustin whined, throwing down his fork in dismay before rolling his eyes at the thought of those two disappearing in the middle of the day for that kind of behaviour.
Obviously they weren’t on their way to Eddie’s van for that purpose, but they didn’t need to know that. Steve was far more content having them believe that they were horny perverts than that he was struggling and needed to be alone. Steve would tell them eventually, just not today.
The boys slipped out of the cafeteria effortlessly, Steve keeping his head down and focusing on the way that Eddie would squeeze his hand every now and again to bring him comfort as he escorted him to the van. Opening the door and placing Steve’s bag in the back before they both climbed in, him slamming the door shut behind them both and apologising for the loud noise.
“You want the headphones, sweetheart?” he offered, Steve nodded once.
The van was the perfect place to come and escape to when Steve was overstimulated like this, it was dark, quiet, a little cold, it allowed him to decompress without judgement. Reaching into one of the pockets of his van, Eddie grabs out the noise cancelling headphones, turns them on and places them over Steve’s head to cover his ears.
Pressing a delicate little kiss to the centre of his forehead before sitting back to give his overstimulated boyfriend the space he so desperately needed. Letting out a sigh of relief Steve wasn’t sure for how long he had been holding in, his body noticeably relaxes the second the world is silenced.
This had been their routine for as long as Steve could remember. If he was on the verge of a melt down and needing a break from reality, Eddie would bring him out here and just give him the peace and quiet he needed between classes.
Sometimes it would be the headphones, sometimes he would offer Steve a change of shirt when the collar of his polo felt suffocating, sometimes it would be just to sit in the dark when Steve started to get irritated with the synthetic illumination of Hawkins High. Every need was catered to, and Steve was eternally grateful to have such a kind and understanding partner to guide him through it all.
They weren’t sure how long has passed, Steve clearly wasn’t focusing on the time, just the fact he was able to breathe again. Keeping the headphones on, Steve crawled the small distance between himself and Eddie and clambered into his lap. His tattooed arms instantly snaking around his boyfriend’s midsection to keep him safe, his lips on Steve’s forehead in an instant.
He didn’t say anything, didn’t force Steve to speak, he just held his baby and kept him grounded. Steve’s security blanket in human form, that’s what he was. It didn’t take long before he was gently being rocked back and forth in his strong arms, the magazine he was reading was quickly tossed aside in favour of Steve getting in his lap, a small hum coming from his lips and even though Steve couldn’t hear it, the vibration of Eddie’s chest was enough to soothe him.
He let his eyes slip closed and focus on the rhythm of Eddie’s breathing to lull himself into a more relaxed state, squeezing his own arms tightly around him to ensure he wasn’t going anywhere. Of course, he wasn’t, but Steve liked the security in knowing Eddie was trapped in his hold.
Steve hadn’t spoken much the whole time since before they even entered the cafeteria, Eddie respected that. They knew each other well enough that he’s pretty sure they could communicate full conversations with just glances if they put the time into trying. Steve needed silence, Eddie gave him that silence.
Eddie let out a disappointed sigh at the sound of the school bell ringing through the cafeteria, it was so loud that it could be heard with ease from the van. No wonder Steve was over stimulated at times like these, that thing was absolutely obnoxious. Rolling his eyes at the sound, he then takes a deep breath before starting to focus on Steve once again, knowing he would need to peel him from his comfortable state and ease him back into reality, Eddie hated this part.
Gently gripping the ear of the headphone, he pulls it away slightly from the side of Steve’s head so he can speak gently into his baby’s ear, nuzzling his nose against his boyfriend’s temple as he did so.
“Sweetheart? We gotta get back in there..” he sighed, watching the way that Steve’s face tensed up once more at the thought.
He clung tighter to him, breaking Eddie’s heart as he hated to be the reason Steve had to leave his quiet place. If it was up to Eddie, he would let Steve stay here all day, classes and education be damned, but he knew Steve took his education seriously and he wouldn’t bet the reason his perfect attendance was halted.
Letting out an annoyed groan from his lips, Steve sat up a little in his lap and grumbled whilst taking off the headphones and passing them back to his boyfriend for him to put away.
“I’m sorry, baby. I know…” he offered, trying to find some kind of consolation or compromise for ripping Steve’s shield away from him.
Steve wasn’t mad at him, none of those noises were directed at him, he was a saint. He just hated the fact every little thing got to him, and that he had to return back to school, Steve just wanted to stay here all day and forget about responsibilities. Climbing out of Eddie’s lap, not before giving him a kiss and a soft “thank you” for this break, he tugged his backpack over his shoulders and let out another defeated sigh.
Shuffling his way out of his car with a grumble at the bright summer’s sun beaming down on Hawkins made Steve want to rip his eyes right out of his skull. Stepping aside once he felt a gentle hand patting his backside, glancing to see it was a hint from his boyfriend to scoot out of the way slightly so he could shut the door without nudging Steve out of the way.
Eddie offered him a reassuring smile, doing his best to comfort his man without touching him, knowing that sometimes even holding Eddie’s hand could push him over the edge. Not because Steve didn’t adore holding his hand, but something as simple as too much human contact could nudge his limit of tolerance.
Reaching out, Steve wrapped his warm hand around Eddie’s bicep, keeping a light grip on his leather sleeve as a compromise. Steve wanted to hold him, be held by him, but they both knew his limits, Steve’s thumb stroking back and forth along his clothed skin was reassurance enough for him that he was okay. Taking the dreaded path back in the direction of the school, Eddie opened the doors for them both and walked Steve back to class.
Luckily the next couple classes would be far less stimulating for Steve. One was his English class where he had a practise test, meaning the lights would be dull and they would be in silence, perfect. The other was a study hall session, which meant that he and Eddie could sit quietly at their desks and read notes at their own pace.
Sitting in silence at his English desk, his soft smiled metalhead boyfriend just mere inches away from him as they both begun your practise test. As per usual, Eddie wasn’t actually focusing on the task at hand, his attention either drawn to keeping an eye on Steve or doodling on his notepad. Both of which Steve expected, as long as Eddie passed this semester and graduated with him, he was happy, Steve didn’t intervene with his boyfriend’s self-soothing habits.
He was more the type to tap his pencil against the table or hum to himself when he was restless, but he had to nip that habit in the bud when Steve was in these headspaces. He didn’t want to cause any additional stress to his already fragile state, hence the doodling.
Steve glanced up from his test to see Eddie’s beady eyes darting all across the room, restless energy oozing out of him. The two were polar opposites. Eddie loved the bright lights, loud noises, constant movement and energy, and Steve was the one for dim lights, soft sounds, finding one spot and staying there until his legs went numb. It’s why they worked so well together, they balanced each other out for a well-rounded compromise.
Reaching over, Steve subtly linked his pinkie finger with Eddie’s own, offering him a shy smile at the confused look on his face. It was Steve’s attempt at grounding him, letting Eddie know that he was there and to offer a distraction from his own racing thoughts. Eddie settled immediately, showing that same dopey smile that made Steve fall in love with him.
Gesturing to the test with his eyes, Steve noticed that Eddie hadn’t done much except fill out his name on the top corner. He was smart, nothing in the world could disprove that he as an intelligent guy, he just lacked the capacity to settle down and prove himself on paper. Whether it was his attention span or his “what does this shit even matter in the real world” mindset, his grades never reflected how truly intelligent he was. He was both book smart and street smart, the latter Steve was still working on learning for yourself.
Eddie offered the most half-assed attempt at a pout, almost silently begging Steve to not make him focus on the test. The jock’s eyebrow raising challengingly as if to tell him to just settle down and get on with it. Steve knew it wasn’t that simple for him, of course. He’s not avoiding taking the test because he was lazy, but Steve hoped that a little encouragement might jumpstart him to fly through the test in front of him.
Eddie picked up the pencil, that was a start. Steve looked a little hopeful before Eddie just begun spinning the object between his fingers like a drumstick. Rolling his eyes fondly, Steve just shook his head and got back to his test, a smile on his face as he pencilled in the answers.
Some things never change.