Work Text:
I'm not depressed
I'm not depressed, I can still wake up and go do my things
I'm not depressed, I don't do any self harm, cutting myself, or actively endangering myself
I'm not depressed, my self preservation still works
I'm not depressed, I don't say anything depressing while talking to people
I'm not depressed, I don't have a bad childhood. My parents aren't alcoholic or abusive or neglecting of my needs
I'm not depressed, I wasn't severely bullied and I have friends by my side
I'm not depressed, I am content with being alone and doing the things that makes me happy
I'm not depressed because all the things I feel is probably just me being dramatic
Sure, sometimes I like the thought of being dead
Sure, sometimes I like the thought of having a major illness or getting into an accident so that I can have a little break from life
Sure, the thought of my mortality is just 45 years bring a sense of joy and freedom
Sure, sometimes eating feels like a chore and I wish I didn't have to eat. Nothing taste appetizing anymore
Sure, sometimes life feels like I'm dragging my dead body through the day
Sure, no one seems to notice it and they think I'm perfectly fine
Sure, I wish they would notice and maybe they'll start to care more
Sure, I sometimes wish I can talk to people but I don't want to burden them and the thought of just saying anything brings me immense guilt and regret
Sure, sometimes I wish I was never born
Sure, sometimes I regret not killing myself years ago
But
I'm not depressed
Not at all