Work Text:
“Prem,” Boun whines. “Stop moving around so much.”
“Sorry,” Prem whispers into the darkness. “Go back to sleep.”
Boun rolls over in the bed to face Prem, but doesn't open his eyes. Instead, he pulls the covers up to his chin and snuggles deeper into his pillow.
Prem sighs. It’s nearing one, and he has spent the last two hours laying in bed rotating between staring at the wall, turning onto his back to stare at the ceiling, then turning onto his other side to stare at the back of Boun’s messy blond head, secretly wishing tonight was one of those nights Boun worked late and was therefore still awake.
He’s not too sure why sleep has evaded him tonight, but every time he closes his eyes, his thoughts decide to run a mile a minute. He feels exhausted, both mentally and physically, but no matter how hard he tries to shut off his thoughts, sleep doesn’t come.
He attempts to count sheep, visualising each cotton white sheep jumping over a rickety wooden fence, but somewhere around number twenty-two, his mind drifts elsewhere and he’s right back where he started. He tries drinking some water and listening to some clamming music, but that doesn’t help either. At this point, sleep feels like a distant dream, and Prem wants to scream in annoyance.
He would too, if his boyfriend wasn’t sleeping so peacefully next to him.
Prem tugs on the blanket a little too hard in another attempt to get comfortable, but accidentally pulls it off of Boun in the process.
“Baby,” Boun whines again, dragging out the word. He shuffles a little in bed and pulls Prem into his chest. He rubs his nose into Prem’s spine in a tenderly way and asks, “What’s going on?” The words come out sleepily. “What’s keeping you up?”
Prem groans. “I’m sorry,” he huffs. “I didn’t mean to wake you. I’ll go sleep on the couch.” He makes a move to get up, but Boun hooks his leg over Prem’s and tightens his grip around him, keeping him against his chest.
“I don’t want you to leave me, I just want to know how to help you.”
“It’s nothing. Just a bout of insomnia. I’m sure it’ll pass, I just need to relax a bit."
Boun hums, the sound vibrating through Prem’s body, then, he unwraps himself from Prem and stands up. In nothing but a pair of black boxer shorts, he runs a hand though his unruly hair and slips on his fuzzy grey slippers before shuffling around the king size bed towards the open bedroom door. Before he can make it into the frame of the doorway, Prem sits up and catches his hand.
“No, don’t go. You stay here. I’ll go sleep in the living room.”
Boun looks at him affectionately. “I’m just going to go make us some tea. Lay back and try to relax. I’ll be back in a minute.”
Prem wants to argue but Boun has already released his hand and is halfway to the kitchen. The hallway light flicks on which fills the room with a warm yellow glow. Prem thinks about getting up to help him, but Boun told him to stay put, and if he were to get up and move about now, he’s certain it would just make his insomnia worse. Instead, he sits up a little straighter in bed, fluffs his pillow, and tucks the blankets around his legs.
Three minutes later Boun is back carrying a mug in each hand, one black and one blue, a string attached to a tea bag hanging along the side. He holds out the blue mug, the one that Prem has somehow adopted as his own ever since he moved into Boun’s apartment. “It’s lavender tea.” Boun declares . “My mom said it’s supposed to help you sleep.” Prem accepts the mug with a grateful smile. “I’ve never tried it but my mom swears by it.”
Prem sniffs the liquid. “It smells nice,” he comments. “Kind of like that nighttime lotion you wear.”
Boun smirks. “Very observant, now drink your tea.”
If it wasn’t one o’clock in the morning and the two of them didn’t have to be up early for their own solo projects, Prem would definitely comment on how within the past five minutes, Boun has been very commanding and his tone is kind of a turn on. Instead, he tucks that thought away for another day and obliges. He takes an audible sip from the mug, humming in delight when the warm tea fills his senses.
Boun places his mug down on the bedside table so he can fluff his own pillow and fix the loose fitted sheets by tugging on them once, sharply. He then gets under the covers, sitting next to Prem so close that their shoulders touch, and drapes the blanket over them. He picks up his mug from the bedside table, takes a sip, then asks, “You want to talk about it?” Before Prem can proclaim that nothing was bothering him, Boun adds, “You only ever have trouble sleeping when there is something on your mind. If you don’t want to, you don’t have to, but I’m awake and willing to listen. Maybe it will help.”
Prem stares at his mug, his fingers tapping rhythmically on the ceramic. “It’s stupid,” he confesses. “And embarrassing.” Boun raises an eyebrow. Prem sighs in defeat.
“We’re shooting the climax of my character's story arc tomorrow. It involves my character driving through town during the morning rush in a desperate attempt to stop the female lead from getting on a train back to Chiang Mai.” Prem chances a peak at Boun to find him staring back, his full attention on him. Prem continues, “It’s our big kiss scene.”
“Okay,” Boun begins carefully after a beat. “And why is this keeping you awake?”
“I’ve never kissed anyone other than you before.”
“Oh,” the surprise on Boun's face is obvious. Prem wants to sink into the bed, pull the covers over his face, and pretend he were anywhere else.
Boun’s surprise doesn’t come from the fact that he is Prem’s one and only kiss. Boun already knows that. He even takes pride in the fact that he is the only person his boyfriend has been imitate with. His surprise more likely comes from the fact that he is an actor, and part of being an actor involves performing intimate scenes with a costar whom you have no romantic feelings for. That and the fact that he is a 26 year old man who is freaking out about having to kiss a girl. He suddenly feels like he’s in primary school again and that thought makes him want to drown himself in his tea.
“It’s nothing to be embarrassed about,” Boun asserts.
Prem chances another look at him. This time, Prem can’t quite read the expression on his face. He sort of looks like he’s being sincere, but there’s a small crinkle in the corner of his eye and his lips are curved ever so slightly so Prem wonders if he’s just trying hard not to laugh.
Boun must understand what Prem is thinking because he’s quick to add, “I’m serious, you have nothing to be embarrassed about. What you’re feeling now is completely natural.”
“So you’ve felt this way before?” Prem asks doubtfully.
“Of course!”
“With who?”
“You.”
Prem frowns. “Hia, that doesn’t count. You had a crush on me. It’s normal to feel nervous when kissing your crush. I’m nervous about kissing a girl I have no feelings for.”
“I imagine it’s not all that different. Especially in our situation.” Boun says, letting the comment about his boyish crush on Prem slide. Not worth the bickering at this hour. “For our first kiss, I wanted you to feel safe and comfortable, mostly because of the sizable crowd watching us. But I was also terrified that I was going to mess it up somehow.”
Prem hums lowly, digesting his words.
“What are you most nervous about?”
“I don’t know.” Prem shrugs. He downs the rest of the tea in an attempt to buy himself some time to figure out his answer.
He honestly doesn’t know. He knows he’s a good kisser. Boun has made that enthusiastically clear on more than one occasion (on more than one piece of furniture throughout their apartment) while Prem was in the middle of performing that particular skill. Prem also knows that he has none of the other typical fears someone who is anticipating kissing another might have. Rejection isn’t a worry considering it’s a stage kiss, and there will be no awkward should I kiss you now? hesitations thanks to the clear directions written on their script. Maybe it's because he’s so used to kissing a guy he’s worried he’ll come on a bit forcefully with a girl, accidentally bite her lip or something. Or maybe it has nothing to do with the fact that it’s a girl at all. Maybe it’s because it’s not Boun .
Prem realises suddenly, that’s it. That’s the reason.
“I think,” Prem starts after a long silence, “that I’m a little worried about coming on too strong, given the fact that I’m so used to our dynamic. But,” he continues and his voice turns shy, “I think I’m mostly upset that you’ll no longer be the only person I’ve kissed.”
Boun’s face breaks out into a huge smile, his perfect teeth shining brightly in the dim lightning. He looks like he just received the best news in the world. “Really?”
Prem nods.
Boun places his mostly full mug on the bedside table, turns over, takes Prem’s now empty mug from his hands, places it next to his own, then situates himself so he’s sitting on Prem’s thighs, their mouths a breath apart.
He takes Prem’s face gently in his hands. “I think that’s the most romantic thing I’ve ever heard you say,” he says, and he brings their lips together. Boun pulls back much too soon but he doesn’t move far and Prem can feel the ghost of his lips as he continues. “I love you and I love that you care so much about me being the only person you’ve kissed, but if that’s what is keeping you up tonight, don’t let it. It’s not a real kiss and no matter what happens or who you have to perform what with on camera, it’s not going to change the fact that what you and I have is real love.”
Prem tilts his head ever so slightly to reconnect their lips. This time, it’s much more gentle and sweet. Boun’s arms move to wrap around Prem’s neck as he pulls him closer, letting the warmth and love fill the air around them.
Prem feels himself fill with affection, because how can he not? The love of his life was the definition of perfect. He always knew the right thing to say to calm his intrusive thoughts. Prem still wonders, after years together, how he got so lucky as to find the one person on earth who he can whole-heartedly call his soulmate. Sometimes, it doesn’t feel real.
“I love you, Hia.” Prem says when they part. "I know it’s silly, but I love the fact that you’re the only person I’ve kissed.”
“It’s not silly at all. I think it’s beautiful.” He rubs their noses together affectionately. “But I don’t want you to feel guilty or upset about this. It’s just work. It’s no different from when we’re asked to change our appearance for a role or when we have to hold our breath underwater for what I guarantee is much longer than what a doctor would consider safe.”
Prem nods, “You're right.”
“I’m always right,” Boun states confidently with a wide smile. Prem smiles in response. “Are you feeling a little better now?”
Prem nods.
“Do you think you will be able to fall asleep?”
Prem nods, again, his eyelids suddenly feeling a little heavy.
Boun rolls off Prem and onto his back. He pulls Prem into his side and he willingly snuggles into his bare chest, rubbing his cheek against his skin contently.
“If you start having any anxiety tomorrow, just give me a call, okay?”
“Okay.”
“I’ll pick up no matter what.”
“Thank you.”
Boun kisses the top of his head. “Go to sleep.”
Prem falls asleep within ten minutes.