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I.Denial
Two years, Sherlock. For Two years you left me. You convinced me that you were dead. But aren't you? I thought I saw you everywhere. Everywhere I went. I felt like I saw you in the tube. I thought it was you. I swear. I thought you were dead. You were.
But here you are standing in front of. As if nothing happened. As if you didn't die. I saw you jump. Sherlock, I saw you jump. But here you are. Or are you? How could you survive? There’s no way you could've survived that. You are dead. You have to be. Maybe, I might be dreaming. This can’t be real. No one can survive that.
Not even you can survive that.
II. Anger
Why did you jump? There must have been a reason. But no, you had to play the hero. You just had to. You could’ve let me in on your plan. Now you’re back. You could’ve been dead, you know? YOU KNOW WHAT?YOU SHOULD HAVE STAYED DEAD.
There’s no need for you now, Sherlock. You put me through a lot of pain. Why did you come? You put me through so much. Too much.YOu emotionally tested me. I want to scream at you. Tell you all the god-awful things that happened to me.
Two years, Sherlock
TWO BLOODY YEARS.
III. Bargaining.
We could’ve done something. YOU could’ve let me in on your plan. I could’ve helped. I should’ve helped. It's funny now. I thought your brain was a hard drive. You must have had some information as to how you can fake your death. So many different ways, and yet you chose suicide.
We could’ve run away. Together. We could've dealt with everything. Together. Just the two of us against the just of the world. The two of us. All the things we could've done. We could’ve finished this together.
Just the two of us.
Just you and me.
IV. Depression
I Couldn't bear staying in the flat. So I moved out. It was too much. Your memory infested the flat. everywhere I looked, you were there. The evidence of your existence. I tried coming back. I’d walk by Baker street. I try to go in. I try. I tried. It’s all too much.
Once, I did visit. I went to your room and when I went through, I felt my knees buckling. the wall that I steadily built crumbled in front of me. There was an endless stream. I couldn’t stop.
But now, you’re back. You have me through so much. I tried everything to get rid of it. It just stuck. like a parasite.
You’re coming back
And it’s the end of the world.
V.Acceptance
You’re back. You are truly back. I’m not dreaming. Not anymore. I can’t easily forgive you. Not yet. You put me through so much. The number of times I'd wake up, and contemplate everything. I could just join you. It was simple. But now, you’re back. You’re coming back and it's the end of the world. We’re starting over. I believe we should start on the right terms
I finally realised what I felt for you. You said it yourself, “When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.”
I realised that I truly love you. I know that I'm not gay but I love you. I think I fell for you the moment I saw you.
You charmed me, Sherlock. You’ve captured me.
I hope that we can make up for all the time that we lost together. You’re in the flat and I am here in the car. I need a quiet place where I can scream how I love you.
Now we have all the time in the world. I can tell you how much I wanted you. How much I yearned for you.
I want you.
I want you.