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TK kept opening his mouth to say something, but he didn’t know what to say.
Iris was missing.
Her car was abandoned.
And the police didn't seem to care.
TK wiped his hand down his face, reaching up and rubbing his fingers across his forehead, “I’m coming with you,” TK said, going to grab his shoes.
“No stay here,” Carlos quickly said, his voice low.
“I can help-“
“No you can’t” Carlos snapped, throwing his jacket on the sofa. Carlos sighed, his hands on his hips, his head ducking. Carlos shook his head, turning his back from TK and snatching the jacket up again.
“You blame me for this, don't you?” TK asked softly, pretty sure he already knew the answer. He waited, his hands clasped together in front of him, his fingers entwining and fidgeting.
“No,” Carlos said, shrugging his jacket and coat on while frantically looking for his keys around the apartment.
“Then why won’t you look at me,” TK pleaded. Carlos continued desperately moving around the apartment, finally finding his keys and shoving them into his pocket, “Carlos,” TK called, his voice echoing across the dark apartment.
"I told you to let me handle it-" Carlos cut himself off, closing his eyes for a moment, TK able to see the tension on his shoulders,
“Carlos,” TK repeated, his voice a plea for something, anything.
Carlos turned, giving a slight shrug, “What do you want me to say TK,” His voice was no longer loud, all the energy seemingly drained from him, It wasn't an answer, but somehow, it still was.
I need you to tell me this isn’t my fault TK thought, the words almost leaving his lips before he clamped them shut.
“I need to go,” Carlos said, quickly turning and leaving TK alone in the flat.
He sunk down to the sofa, his hands in his lap. He should have listened to Carlos, he shouldn't have gone to see Iris.
But he just wanted everything to be okay, he wanted to marry the man he loved in the venue he loved, inadvertently he might have just done the one thing that assured that didn't happen.
🌻 🌻 🌻
TK glanced down at his watch.
9pm.
He reached over with his other hand, twisting the watch on his wrist, the fabric rubbing against his skin.
Carlos had been gone for hours, TK stared down at his phone, his fingers tapping the black screen.
He pulled open Carlos’s contact, his smiling face looking back at him, what TK would give to see that smile again right now. He typed the message, trying to avoid the previous unanswered ones, hoping this one would garner a response.
He reached out, clasping the remote in his hand. The loud blaring of the TV provided TK with some solace from his mind. He flicked through the channel, finding he couldn’t concentrate on anything. His head fell into his hands, his fingers pulling at his hair.
TK quickly blinked, his eyes feeling heavy; he couldn’t sleep.
He dug his palm into his eyes, hoping the pain would keep him awake, Carlos would probably be home soon.
TK grabbed his phone, dialling his dad’s number, he had tried to text him earlier but hadn't heard anything back from him, “Hey dad I know it’s late but uhh, Iris is missing and Carlos is looking for her and I…please just call me,” He finished. Clutching the phone in his hands, his forehead falling against it. He just needed someone to tell him it was okay, needed his dad to tell him that this would all work out, for now, TK would have to be content with telling himself that.
10pm.
11pm.
12am.
1am.
His feet paced back and forth across the apartment, his phone clinched between his shaking hands.
I’m fine, I’ll be home later – TK repeated Carlos's last text message over and over in his mind. He had received it around 11pm and since then – nothing.
He pressed his phone against his chest. Carlos said he was fine, which meant everything was okay, he just needed to relax, Carlos was skilled, he knew what he was doing.
He was going to find Iris and they’d both be back home.
TK stood still, taking a breath in through his nose, letting it out gently.
He moved back to the sofa, perching on the edge. TK looked back up at the TV screen, a scene playing from a movie TK didn’t remember.
TK pulled his legs up to his chest, his elbow resting on the arm of the sofa, knuckles digging into his temple.
'I’m fine, I’ll be home later'
Carlos wouldn’t lie, if he said he was home and he’d be fine, then he would; he had to be.
🦋 🦋 🦋
TK turned, feeling a sharp pain course through his neck.
He winced, his eyes fluttering open. The empty apartment stared back at him. TK pulled his head from the sofa arm, his hand rubbing the back of his neck.
TK wiped the back of his palm over his eyes, clearing the sleep from them. TK shifted, a loud clattering noise filling the apartment, TK startling.
He looked down, grabbing his phone from the floor.
No new messages.
TK cursed, throwing his phone next to him, clicking his neck as he stood from the sofa, stretching his arms.
TK frowned, had TK forgotten to turn the lights off, the apartment strangely bright He slowly turned to look at the window.
It was light outside.
It was the morning- TK had fallen asleep.
TK ran to their bedroom, both his hands grasped on the doorframe as he stared into the vacant room. Their bed was still made, the pillows and blankets untouched.
Carlos didn’t come home last night.
He rushed back to the sofa, snatching his phone and hitting speed dial.
It rang, and rang and rang.
But there was no answer, the call went to voicemail over and over. TK tried not to let the panic consume him, maybe Carlos came home and then left again, or maybe he stayed at his dad's house, or maybe he was pissed at TK and didn't want to come home to TK, there were a number of options that could explain Carlos's absence.
How could TK have fallen asleep? He called his dad, again, all that greeted him was the voicemail; where the hell was he?
He should have been awake, he should have stayed awake to make sure Carlos was okay, this was his fault to begin with- TK felt his breath catch in his lungs, each breath becoming harder and harder until it felt like there was nothing.
TK staggered into the kitchen, his hands wrapping around the counter edge, fingers pressed into the marble.
He closed his eyes, he needed to calm down, he couldn’t fall apart now, that wouldn't help anyone. After what felt like a lifetime, TK was able to take in a breath, however small it was, it was something.
TK tried to concentrate on the fact they were getting married in 8 weeks, focusing on the fact that Iris would be at their wedding and the fact that they had their dream venue.
He tried to focus on the fact that everything would be okay.
TK was so distracted by his own thoughts he didn’t hear his phone ringing across the room, Gabriel’s face flashing across the screen, a flurry of messages following.
🌻 🌻 🌻
“We found his car parked outside an abandoned house,” Gabriel stood inside TK and Carlos’s loft, the rest of the 126 gathered on the sofa, TK perched on the end. “Inside there were signs of a struggle and-“ The man stopped talking, taking in a steadying breath, “There were signs of struggle and blood, it’s Carlos’s” TK heard people curse around him, their voices all blending together, “We’ve got teams out looking for him, and we're going to find him” Gabriel finished, his hat between his hands.
TK wondered how Gabriel could be so sure, TK trying to hold onto that certainty. “Hey, you okay?” TK looked over to see Judd next to him, everyone around the room had changed positions, TK wasn't sure how much time had passed since Gabriel had finished talking.
“Yeah,” TK nodded, looking down at the phone in his hands.
He had sent his father more messages, and he had neither read nor replied to any of them. TK rubbed his head, the headache that had appeared the other day, growing more painful the more he thought about his father.
“Yeah?” Nancy said, her brows raised, “You know it’s okay to not be okay?” She said, Mateo nodding next to her.
“Yeah man, it’s okay to be struggling-“
“I’m fine,” He barked, standing from the sofa and walking deeper into the apartment. This couldn’t be happening.
TK pulled open his phone, holding it close to his ear, “Hi dad, it’s me…again” He said, “Please give me a call when you get this…it’s Carlos,” He said, almost choking on his fiancé's name, “Just-just call me please, I could really use you,” He whispered, almost like he was too ashamed to admit it. TK pulled the phone away, slipping it back into his pocket.
“Still no answer?” Judd asked. TK shook his head, swallowing hard, “I could try calling him again, or try and swing by the house-“
“No,” TK said, “It’s fine, It’s not important right now,” TK wanted his father here, god he did but there wasn’t time to think about that right now. He needed to focus on Carlos, and needed everyone else focused on that as well.
TK leaned against the window, watching as everyone worked to bring Carlos home.
TK knew Gabriel would fine Carlos, and together they would find Iris. They had found him when he had been kidnapped, and despite everything they had managed to save him; they could do it again.
🦋 🦋 🦋
The police charged the front door, their guns drawn and torches illuminating the darkness as they entered the abandoned warehouse.
He knew he should wait until they cleared the building, that was what he had promised Gabriel on the way over here, the man only allowing TK to come along on the promise he followed the rules.
Fuck it.
TK leapt from the ambulance ignoring Tommy and Nancy's pleas, running into the building, He was able to hear the officers roaming around the premises, he re-searched the entire bottom floor, not caring that the police officers had already done so. He climbed the stairs two at a time, pulling himself up by the handrails, “Reyes, we’ve got something,” He started taking the steps three at a time, ignoring the burning in his legs and the growing sickness in his stomach. He bolted across the landing, following the voices of the police officers. “What the hell are you doing here-“ One of the officers called, TK shoving past him and entering the room.
His feet suddenly welded to the ground, officers knocking against him as they ran past.
They found Carlos.
They found Carlos.
He was lying on the ground, his body still, the only movement was a crimson pool of blood crawling across the floor.
“No,” TK gasped, his legs managed to carry him the remaining distance before he collapsed next to the man, “Carlos,” He gasped, his hands pressing down on the wound, “Hey, hey baby,” TK said, one hand on the wound, the other cupping his face, gently shaking it. Carlos’s eyes fluttered open, a groaning emitting from his lips, “You’re okay, you’re okay,” TK soothed, his fingers brushing a stray hair from the man’s forehead.
He noticed other hands on Carlos’s body, out of protection he went to shove them away, noticing at the last minute it was Tommy and Nancy. He took the bandage from Nancy's hand, pressing it against the still bleeding wound, placing Carlos’s hands on top of them, “Keep your hand here, okay? Just keep it here,” He smiled, the corners of his mouth dropping every few seconds.
“T-TK,” Carlos managed to gasp, his voice sounding harsh and broken.
“Yeah, it’s me, I’m here,” He said, both hands cupping Carlos’s cheek, his fingers brushing the sweat from the man's face.
“I’m, I’m sorry,” Carlos wheezed, one hand coming to lay onto TK’s.
“It’s fine, everything is fine,” TK assured, “You’re okay, you’re okay,”
Carlos tried to smile, the corner of his lips flicking up for a second-then, it stopped.
His face lost all expression, his eyes sliding close.
Just as quickly as Carlos’s hand was touching his, it disappeared, falling to the ground with a thud.
“Carlos! Carlos!” TK pleaded, his hands trembling as he tried to wake the man, “Open your eyes for me babe, open your eyes,” He begged.
Tommy and Nancy pulled his shirt open, attaching the wires of the defibrillator- a defibrillator that meant his heart had stopped, “No, no, no, no,” TK begged, shaking his head.
Arms pulled him back as they charged the shook pads, TK fighting with everything he had as Carlos's body shook, TK's throat burning as he screamed his fiance's name.
This couldn’t be happening.
He was meant to be okay.
Everything was meant to be okay.
🌻 🌻 🌻
“TK,” Owen said, his voice sounding out of breath, “Gabriel, I’m so sorry I-I didn’t get your messages and- is Carlos okay?” He asked.
Gabriel looked up from the floor, one hand on Andrea’s back, “He’s just got out of surgery, he’s in critical but stable condition,”
“Oh god,” Owen said, his hands on his hips, his eyes locked onto TK, the man's face softening, “Hey kid,” He said, coming to sit next to TK, “Are you okay?” He asked, his hand on his son’s knee.
“Are you okay?”
The wall TK had built today around his fear and desperation crumbled, those simple words a sledgehammer.
“Where were you?” TK snapped, stranding up and turning to face his father, “I called you so many times!”
Owen sighed, giving a small nod, “I know, and I came as soon as I heard, I got wrapped up in this thing which is complicated and a long sorry,”
“It always is with you!” TK yelled, his chest rising and falling quickly, lips trembling as he spoke.
Owen stood, taking a step towards TK.
“I don’t care why you weren’t there,” He said, pulling back from his father, “I don’t care what the hell you got yourself into, I needed you!” He wept, warm tears running down his cheek, “I needed you, to tell me everything would be okay, I needed you to tell me I wasn’t about to lose the love of my life but you weren’t there, you never are!” TK called.
Owen just stared back at him, a look of shame covering his face.
“I’m so sorry kid,” Owen said, “But I’m here now-“
“I don’t care,” TK said, “Can you go in there and undo what happened, can you?” TK didn’t even wait for Carlos’s answer, “It doesn’t matter what you do now, it doesn’t matter that I keep telling myself it will be okay because it’s not,”
No matter how many times he said it was okay, it didn’t change what happened.
It didn’t change the fact that nothing was okay and TK didn't know if it ever would be again.
TK staggered back from the group, turning on his heels and heading into Carlos’s room, slamming the door shut behind him.
Carlos.
He looked so small, so fragile, so broken.
“Carlos,” TK sobbed, his arms wrapping around his stomach as his back slid down the door, the thud of him hitting the ground the only relief he got from the continuous beeping machines. "I'm so sorry," He wanted the floor to swallow him, for the earth to crack beneath him and take him somewhere where he couldn’t feel, couldn’t think.
But the world wasn’t that kind, so instead TK sat on the hospital floor and cried.
And breathed.
And cried
And breathed until there was nothing left, TK finally pulled into the welcoming darkness.
🦋 🦋 🦋
TK stretched his legs out, his feet crossed over each other as he stared at the bed. His head laid against his palm, his fingers digging into his skull, his elbow feeling numb from the constant resting on the plastic arm of the chair.
Carlos was still stable, there had been some improvement and the doctors said he could wake up at anytime; but he didn’t.
The door open, and Owen slipped inside, two coffee’s in his hands, reaching out to give TK one.
“How is he?” Owen asked, sitting on the chair across from TK.
TK wrapped his hands around the cup, his forearms resting across his thighs, “The same,”
“And how you doing?” Owen asked, placing his coffee on the ground.
“The same,” He didn’t have the energy to think of anything else, TK haven’t spent the last week sleeping in the hospital, “Aren’t you meant to be at work?” He finally managed to ask.
“Judd’s taking my shift,”
TK sipped his drink, ignoring the scolding heat, “You don’t have to be here, Gabriel and Andrea are coming by later,” He said.
“I know, but I…wanted to be here,” TK didn’t mean to scoff, the tiredness that had consumed him over the last week making his lips loose “TK, I’m sorry I wasn’t there before,” Owen started, his head hanging.
“I know you are,” TK said. He could see it in his father’s face whenever he walked into the room, “I just…” TK slumped back in the chair, “I’m tired,” Of you not being there, of thinking you might be TK wasn't sure exactly what he was tired of, maybe everything.
“I know, you needed someone to-“
“No, I needed you,” He breathed, “I needed my dad to tell me this wasn't my fault,”
“I understand, and I’m sorry, but you did great son-”
TK pushed himself off the chair, his hands on his waist, “That’s not the point dad,” he said, his voice rising slightly, “The point was, you weren’t there, and I needed you to be,” There was nothing else TK could say, and his brain was too tired to try.
Owen just nodded, standing from his chair and heading towards the door, he stood next to TK, looking over, “Are we going to be okay?” He asked.
TK reached out, his hands gripping the bars at the end of the bed, “We will be,” He looked over at his father, giving a little smile. TK could see some of the tension leave his father’s face, his shoulders dropping slightly.
The closed behind Owen, TK letting his head drop before, “I know I told you to rest but I didn’t mean this long,” TK said, he waited for Carlos to reply like he did every day, but like every day; he said nothing.
“We’re meant to be getting married in 7 weeks,” TK smiled, his eyes watering, “At our dream venue,” He said, a small breathy laugh escaping his lips. TK looked up at the ceiling, taking in a breath, “God I really need you here,” No amount of pleading or begging seemed to change anything, but TK wouldn’t stop, it was all he had at the moment.
TK looked back down, Carlos’s face was unchanged, his body still unmoving, “Please wake up babe, I need you here,” TK moved from the end of the bed, coming to perch next to Carlos’s side on the bed, taking his fiancé's hand in his, running his thumb over his knuckles, “We were finally going to get everything we wanted, everything was going to be okay,”
After everything they had both been through, things were finally working going their way, and TK finally felt safe.
There was a deep intake of breath.
TK frowned; he wasn’t the one who took a deep breath. TK’s head shot up, Carlos's warm brown eyes fluttering back at him, “Carlos,” TK gasped, moving closer on the bed.
“TK,” Carlos croaked, his eyes squinting against the harsh light.
TK embraced Carlos’s face, “Hey, hey you’re okay,” he smiled, a joyful laugh following.
Carlos looked around the room, confusion filling his face. A moment later he tried to push himself up, moving in the bed, “What day is it?” He groaned.
“That doesn’t matter,” TK said, shaking his head, “You’re wake,” He said, still not quite believing it.
Carlos’s eyes widen, “Iris-“
“She’s fine, thanks to you,” TK said, brushing Carlos’s cheek.
Carlos sat up slightly, “How long have I-“
“About a week,” TK said.
“So, we still have time,” Carlos asked, giving a small sigh of relief.
TK cocked his head to the side, “For what?” He said.
“For the venue,” Carlos said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.
The venue.
Their wedding.
For the last week, the possibility of them making their venue or even their wedding seemed slim, but for the first time, the possibility was right in front of him.
TK smiled, the first real one in over a week, “We do have time,” He said.
Carlos reached out, his fingers grazing TK’s face, lingering on his cheek, “We’re getting married in 7 weeks,” He beamed.
“We are,” TK said. Carlos's fingers wrapped around the back of TK's neck, gently pulling him forward, their lips meeting. TK rested his forehead against his fiancés, a soft smile gracing his lips, “Everything is going to be okay,” TK whispered, and for the first time in a week, when TK spoke those words, he actually believed it.