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Laenor’s head was pounding as he trailed up the steps in the Red Keep. Servants glanced at him, keenly aware of the smell of ale in the air. Laenor was willing to admit, suffering from the aftermath, perhaps he and Qarl had overdone it that night.
His father, Lord Corlys, had visited the capital recently to see his grandchildren and, more importantly, to argue with Laenor about their legitimacy. He could see as plain as anyone that Jace and Luke were not his blood, but he had told his father they were his sons all the same. If he wanted the Velaryon name to sit the throne, he would simply have to get over himself.
The knight had been desperate for relief after the tense argument, hence the tavern crawl they had spent most of the night participating in. The sun was only beginning to rise as Laenor trudged back to his shared chambers with the princess. Rhaenyra would whinge and whine about the rumors of his improper activities, of course, but she would get over it easily.
He gave barely a nod to Ser Steffon on guard duty as he entered the chambers. The creaking of the door strained his ears and exacerbated his headache. More than anything, he would be glad to collapse onto his bed and sleep through most of the day.
Laenor at first thought he was going mad when he saw a second person in bed with his wife. She had ended her affair with Harwin months ago, that he knew about, but had heard nothing about someone new. He definitely knew he was going mad when, upon closer inspection, he noticed the auburn curls and soft features that could only belong to the queen.
He rubbed his eyes, blinking to try to correct the image. Surely, he was mistaken. He took a step back to collect himself, his feet nearly tripping over a garment left on the floor. It took his mind far too long to realize it was indeed one of the unmistakable green dresses he had seen the queen wear every day since his wedding.
“Seven fucking hells…” he said, a bit too loud.
The queen shifted at the noise, Laenor panicked for a moment that she had woken but her eyes remained shut. She hummed blissfully, pulling the arm Rhaenyra had draped around her closer, and burying her face against the princess’ chest.
Laenor was still trying to process what he was seeing and quickly decided he was not near sober enough for this, he decided. Taking a cautious step back, he attempted to sneak out of the room while the two remained unaware of him, content to speak to his wife about this in private later.
Unfortunately, his mind, addled with ale, was not conducive to stealth. Keeping his eyes steady on the pair, careful of any sign that they had noticed him or were waking, caused him to walk right into a precariously placed bowl.
His attempt to catch it was pitiful and it fell to the ground with a loud crash, shattering, and the queen jumped in an instant. She sat up in a panic, the covers concealing her exposed skin, locking eyes with Laenor immediately.
Time seemed to stand still for a few moments, neither daring to make a move first. Rhaenyra simply groaned, the sudden noise and movement waking her up but not alert enough to realize what was happening.
“Just a bit longer, my love,” Rhaenyra mumbled, her arm trying to mindlessly pull the queen back down. Alicent was entirely frozen, distress and fear flooding her eyes. Rhaenyra seemed to notice the tension in her body, her fingers began to stroke the queen’s arm soothingly.
Laenor took a short breath, realizing he must be the one to break the silence, “Rhaenyra.”
The princess’ eyes shot open. She rose from her sleeping position, entirely forgetting, or not caring, to cover herself for several moments. “Oh, fuck.”
Laenor averted his eyes, awkwardly, “Apologies.” He stepped away from the bed hurriedly to give them privacy.
His senses started to return to him as the adrenaline of the moment wore off. The situation became increasingly clear, and increasingly dire, to him as he was given time to think properly.
The queen. He wasn’t sure he even wanted to know how she managed to seduce the pious, proper, pompous Alicent Hightower into her bed, much less why in the Seven Hells Rhaenyra would even want to.
He heard harsh whispers from the bed as they shuffled to dress themselves. He couldn’t make out the words but Alicent’s tone was fearful and strained, while Rhaenyra was smooth and assuring. Or at least, they tried to be, as they seemed to do little to assuage the queen.
Only a few scant phrases were audible to Laenor.
“He saw us!”
“...doesn’t care…”
“...anyone found out…me, my children…”
“I swear…”
“...do not…risking everything…”
The conversation seemed to come to an abrupt end as Alicent hurriedly stepped through the room, finding a groove in the wall that opened to a secret passage. “Alicent,” Rhaenyra called after her, still only half-dressed in her smallclothes. “Just wait a moment.”
Alicent shook her head quickly, her eyes glancing from Rhaenyra to Laenor then to the floor. “I’m sorry,” she said, before ducking into the passageway and shutting it behind her.
The princess groaned in frustration, running her hands across her face, pausing at the secret door for a few moments as if hoping Alicent would come back through it. When she didn’t, Rhaenyra finally spun to face Laenor.
“You’ve any idea how long it took me to convince her no one would find out?” Rhaenyra asked.
Laenor scoffed. Of course, that would be her biggest concern. “Rhaenyra, what the fuck are you thinking? Queen Alicent?”
She glared at him defiantly, “It is of no concern to you whom I bed.”
“It is when it is the woman who has made our lives hell since our wedding. Those ‘vile rumors’ about our children that you go on endlessly about, she is the one who spreads them.”
Rhaenyra rolled her eyes, “You think I am some fool who has forgotten? Alicent and I have already discussed it at length. The details, hardly any of your business.”
“Rhaenyra,” Laenor said, exasperated. How could she not see the folly in this? “Hiding a relationship with the Commander of the Watch is one thing. Your father is willing to turn a blind eye to it. He will not extend the same ignorance when it is his own wife.”
The princess’ lips curled into a scowl. “These past years you have been free to bed as many men as you desire and I have never said a word about it.”
“I do not begrudge you choosing who you desire-”
“It certainly feels like you’re begrudging me,” Rhaenyra spoke over him.
“Rhaenyra, this matter affects our whole family. If anyone found out, you would be disinherited on the spot. What do you think would happen to our sons then?”
“No one would find out-”
“Like no one found out about Harwin?” Laenor interrupted, sarcastically. Anger bubbled in his stomach, “How can you even trust her after all that has happened? She’s a snake.”
“You do not know her like I do,” Rhaenyra defended.
“She is the reason that monster Cole still gets to walk free and terrorize Jace on the training yard.” Laenor had to strain to keep his voice down.
“The queen will speak to Criston about his behavior,” Rhaenyra insisted.
Laenor seethed, “Scoldings will not bring Joffrey back!”
Rhaenyra did not back down, “Nor will blaming Alicent for it!”
A moment passed, the two panting after all the yelling, though their eyes remained locked, eyebrows slanted in anger. Rhaenyra broke eye contact first, taking a deep breath to calm herself.
“I am not careless, Laenor. I know the risks, as does Alicent. She’s terrified of them, in fact. Spends most days fretting over us getting caught and what will become of her and her children. You do not have to like her or think me wise, but she is my choice.”
Laenor shook his head. The queen of Westeros, her father’s wife, Alicent fucking Hightower. Of all the people his wife could’ve chosen…
But he would honor their agreement, of course, and he would say nothing. That did not mean he had to approve of her choice.
They continued about their lives in the coming days, slightly more distance between him and his wife than normal after their argument. Laenor had tried to simply ignore it, but it was quite difficult when Alicent was so intrinsically tied to their lives. Her sons trained with theirs at swordplay, Alicent and Rhaenyra sat on the Small Council together, and her protector still stalked the halls of the keep, free as ever.
He busied himself by spending time sparring with Qarl and watching over Jace and Luke. Occasionally, he wrote letters to Laena, who was still far across the Narrow Sea. He beseeched her to come home soon, he wanted to meet his nieces and she would want to meet her nephews, but Daemon wanted to remain in Essos for the time being.
The knight only first noticed something was amiss with his wife about a week after the argument. She seemed more sullen than usual, spending nights with flagons of wine rather than the queen like he had expected.
Come to think of it, Laenor had not actually seen the queen and princess together since his ill-fated discovery of their affair. He assumed they had simply been trying to avoid unnecessary risks since he found them but perhaps there was more to it.
Despite their argument, he could not bring himself to let her wallow in her misery if he could help it. The fourth night he found her in her cups, he asked her, “What ails you?”
She sighed with a bitter edge, “Alicent.” Just as he figured.
“Did you two fight?”
“Something like that,” Rhaenyra muttered. Laenor sat down next to her, waiting expectantly to hear the story. She tried to ignore him and drink in silence but eventually groaned and relented. “She fears the risks of continuing our relationship and thinks we ought to be better off forgetting our nights ever happened.”
Laenor paused for a moment. Part of him thinks he should be relieved yet the look on Rhaenyra’s face gave him pause. “What do you think?”
Rhaenyra scoffed at the question before answering, “My uncle once said that if you live in fear, you’re like to miss the best parts of life.”
Laenor hummed, he didn’t particularly like Prince Daemon but his words rang true in this case. “Perhaps it is for the best,” he shrugged. “The two of you together would be playing with fire.”
The princess rolled her eyes, “I don’t care for the risks or to hear your objections again, Ser.”
“I only mean to say-”
“I heard you loud and clear the first time,” Rhaenyra said, anger seeping into her voice. “I know you don’t approve of Alicent but she is who my heart yearns for.” Quieter, she added, “Has always yearned for.”
“Truly?” Laenor inquired.
Rhaenyra nodded easily. “I didn’t understand my feelings for what they were until my father took Alicent from me. Petty squabbles and lies kept us apart for years...I only regret we barely had those few nights before it all fell apart again.”
Laenor cursed himself the following night. His mind told him to leave it alone, let Alicent and Rhaenyra drift apart again because it is what is best to keep his family safe. And yet, his gut told him differently.
After he lost Joffrey, Laenor had been inconsolable. Rhaenyra had helped him through the worst of it when no one else had even cared. Criston got off with little consequence, Laena had run off with Daemon before he could even blink, and his father would never say it, but Laenor knew he was relieved to see the boy gone, hoping Laenor would turn his attention towards women instead without him.
Rhaenyra and he weren’t lovers but they did love each other in their own way. She had been just as joyful as he was when he met Qarl and found love again. If there was a chance to give her the same, even if it was with Alicent, Laenor knew he would do it without question.
A servant announced him in the queen’s chambers, Alicent stiffening ever so slightly before regaining her composure and dismissing the servant. “Ser Laenor, to what do I owe the pleasure?”
Laenor raised an eyebrow, “You know why I’m here.”
“I have offered my condolences for what occurred and spoke to Rhaenyra about it, there’s nothing more to be discussed,” Alicent said, a bit too quickly and practiced. She forced the words out like they felt wrong on her tongue.
“You owe me no apology,” Laenor told her. “Surely Rhaenyra spoke to you about our arrangement.”
Alicent nodded slightly and her hands fidgeted around, scratching and clutching her arm. “It hardly matters.”
Laenor sighed, sitting down in a nearby chair, and prompting Alicent to do the same. “How so? Do you not feel as she does for you?”
A flash of worry showed on Alicent’s face for a moment. She opened her mouth to speak but hesitated, a moment passing before she decided, “It makes no difference what I feel. It is sinful and wrong, and I- we should not have done it.”
Laenor’s gaze softened, remembering words like that all too well. “I once said the same, you know?” The expression in Alicent’s gaze turned to confusion before Laenor continued, “I was never quite as pious but my father despised the very notion of me acting ‘improperly’ with the other squires.”
Alicent frowned, Laenor could practically see her mind turning, remembering the same words by her own father.
“At the Stepstones he even, discreetly, sent camp followers to my tent, hoping they would ‘sort me out’ or something like that. And believe me, I tried to be what he wanted me to. It never worked. Ser Joffrey though, he never had any shame about who he was. He showed me how much more life and love could be.”
Alicent sharply inhaled, “He sounds like he was a good man.”
“He was.” A tense silence settled over them for several seconds. Alicent’s hands grasped at her neck as she was lost in thought. “Let us not speak of him tonight,” Laenor decided. He didn’t need to forgive her for what happened, but he was here for Rhaenyra’s sake, not his own.
Alicent muttered, “It would be selfish of me to pursue my own whims when it puts my family at risk. And if my husband ever found out…”
Laenor pitied her, “It is not selfish to want to be happy, Alicent. It may be unorthodox but if it brings you contentment in your life, is that not enough to try?”
“You make it sound so simple,” Alicent mused.
“Perhaps it is that simple.”
Alicent shook her head, tears slowly forming in her eyes. “I curse the gods for making me this way,” she mumbled. “Every night when I was a girl, and even after I was wed, I was so frustrated that I could not just be like the other ladies, that I could not be content with my husband and my children. I’m Queen of the Seven Kingdoms and it is somehow not enough. I want so much that I shouldn’t, that I can’t have.”
“Performing your duty is well and good, but it can only bring you so much joy. Compared to love, to have someone care for you so deeply, the way I know Rhaenyra does for you, duty is nothing,” Laenor spoke.
He rose from his seat, carefully. “I cannot tell you what to do, Alicent. But when I was young, Joffrey opened my eyes to see that people like us do not have to live joyless lives, there is a way to pursue both our duty and pleasure. There is still a way for you to do so as well, should you choose it.”
Laenor left the queen to ponder on what he’d said that night, only hoping that his words reached her.
Sure enough, the following day, he found Rhaenyra and Alicent speaking in hushed tones at dinner, mischievous glints in their eyes. Rhaenyra snuck through the passageway in their chambers that night and Laenor knew she would not return until morning.
It would still be some time before Laenor could call the queen a friend, the memory of Joffrey’s murder pained his heart even now. But his wife practically glowed in the days after their relationship was renewed and the queen had upheld her promises to cease the rumors and chastise Criston for his behavior, and that was enough for the time being.
Qarl had come to realize that Rhaenyra found a new paramour though Laenor steadfastly refused to tell him who it was despite the pestering. Someday, perhaps, when Alicent grew more comfortable in their arrangement. But for now, it was of the utmost importance that no one ever learned of their secret relationship.