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Alcryst would have found Destinea Cathedral beautiful if it had not been the place of his father’s death. Despite there no longer being bodies and blood, they reappeared behind every blink. Brodia and Elusia constantly teetered on the edge of war with one another, but he could never have predicted this.
Then again, no one could have predicted the return of the Fell Dragon.
He walked down the main aisle, the arched ceiling and series of stained-glass windows towering over him. Sun poked through the clouds of a fading snowstorm, casting pink and green streaks across the floor. They framed the silhouette standing at the altar. Their allies, although ready to leave and figure out their next move, had agreed to this request.
“Diamant,” Alcryst whispered, standing beside him.
A part of him believed that when Diamant took over as king, something would shift. He would stand taller, grow with the newfound title. Instead, he just looked like his brother—stricken by the aftermath of grief.
All because of Alcryst.
“You barely make a sound, even now.” Diamant’s voice lacked its usual vigor. “No wonder you’ve become such a skilled archer.”
The compliment pricked at Alcryst’s skin, out of place for this moment and for him. “There is still more for me to learn. I’m not…as talented as you.”
Diamant’s stern gaze shifted to him. “I think we can hold off on the self-deprecation for today, Alcryst.”
“Right. Sorry.” His shoulders rounded ever so slightly, chin dipping towards his chest. Their entire world, their kingdom, had been turned upside down and he had made it about himself. Alcryst didn’t quite know the origin of this behavior, other than constantly being aware of Diamant’s exceptionalism and his role in their family. It made sense, with him being the eldest, that he would inherit Brodia. But aside from age, he simply fit into those expectations. Alcryst understood being second and made it his job to keep both his father and brother safe, no matter the cost.
Look how that turned out.
“I killed him.” The confession felt too loud, too absolute, missing some of the pieces. King Morion had lunged, sword raised. Teeth bared. More animal than man. As much as Alcryst did not want to draw his bow, he did not want anyone he cared about to die more.
Diamant shook his head, jaw tight. “You did not kill our father. You killed the monster Lord Sombron created.”
“It doesn’t feel that way,” Alcryst insisted, rickety breaths causing his chest to rapidly rise and fall. He had not been able to cry since the battle a few hours ago. As if his emotions were tied up in shackles. They banged against his ribcage now. He forced them back.
“I should have been the one to do it,” Diamant tugged at the strands of his hair. “But I froze. My brain could not process my father about to kill my brother. You…you did not hesitate and for that reason, I will bear this burden for the both of us. With time, I hope you can forgive my inaction. I hope father can too.”
Anger had not once crossed Alcryst’s mind. Even if Diamant, by rules of society, should have delivered the final blow. Maybe, that was how he protected Diamant in the end. Maybe that was how he became good enough. Scarlet splattered across his skin and only his.
If some part of you is still there…Just…thank you for everything. I love you. I always will.
He found some reprieve in that, nodding slowly. He didn’t need to give in to this newfound sadness when he had done the right thing. Alcryst would make the same decision again. “You do not need to seek forgiveness. It’s already yours.”
A weighted sigh escaped Diamant’s lips, carried across the silence of the cathedral. He cupped Alcryst’s shoulder. “Dad always spoke about how proud of you he was, how you never backed down from anything even if you didn’t quite believe in yourself. The true spirit of Brodia, through and through. I think it’s easy for there to be favorites when the throne is on the line. It was never that way with dad.”
Alcryst swallowed the instant rebuttal and leaned into the touch. Diamant’s presence had always been a comfort, even when they were boys who swung fake swords at each other while the knights trained around them. The same dream—being as worthy as Diamant—remained at seventeen. He was never made to feel less than because of it. “Yes. Father wanted us both to be great. And now, we must make sure we are.”
Diamant smiled. While the gesture seemed perfunctory, a fire lit in his eyes. “It is my duty now to keep Brodia safe, to rebuild our country with the teachings I’ve been given.”
“I will do everything I can to assist you.” Alcryst brought a fist to his chest in salute. The last image of his father would forever be with him. A man whose pupils had reddened with corruption, whose skin had paled, whose voice had become nothing other than grumbles and swallowed words. That was a fate seldom deserved. If Alcryst squinted hard enough, the image would transform into Diamant.
He could not lose his brother, too. While he did not know when this hollow ache would leave his sternum, he did not want to imagine what it would be like were something to happen to Diamant.
A nightmare coming true.
“Seeing that…makes all of this real.” Diamant pressed his lips into a tight line as he released Alcryst. He splayed his palms on the altar, before tilting his head upward. They had never been the religious sort; Brodia raised people to be warriors, to find conviction in their physical power. Believing the news of the Divine Dragon had taken repeated and hasty correspondence with Firene. Even then, Alcryst could hardly fathom Alear’s presence. He had nearly shot an arrow through his chest, which of course, he regretted.
To prevent what happened to their father from happening again, he and Diamant would need to put their faith in the Divine Dragon.
And, most importantly, each other.
Had he not been watching Diamant as closely, Alcryst would have missed the tremble in his arms. He knew better than to acknowledge it aloud. This was the only respite Diamant would have for weeks to come.
After several minutes, Diamant rose with the mask of a king. His cheeks were flushed, the only indication of his loss.
“I have one question before we rejoin the others. What are we to do about Princess Ivy?”
Diamant grimaced, another task for his ever-growing list. “I’m not sure. Until I know her true intentions, we watch her.”
“Okay.” The answer did not satisfy Alcryst. She had overseen the corruption of their father. Now, upon a loss, she sung the Divine Dragon’s praises. He would have pressed Diamant further had the circumstances been different.
“We should go.”
Alcryst bowed and followed Diamant to the courtyard with the others. Their goodbyes were over.
…
Brodia did not feel like home.
Upon return—their allies taking shelter in the village—Diamant ascended the throne. They were not the type of people to wallow. One’s death, especially a king, meant a feast and a celebration of the life they lived and the battles they fought in.
Alcryst stomached the ceremony for about ten minutes, before a vice wrapped around his throat. While his father had been a proud and accomplished fighter, none of his skills saved him in the end. He exited the great hall and looped his way to the farthest end of the parapet. He could be alone here. Just him and the night. Frozen there, maybe one would assume him to be a statue.
“Prince Alcryst…”
Footsteps slowly approached.
Were it anyone else, he would have run. “Lapis.”
She stilled, pink hair blowing in the evening breeze. As per the dress code, she donned the red and gold garments of a retainer. “I saw you leave and came to check on you.”
Lapis kept a few feet of distance between them. She faced the stars, arms at her sides.
“Well, you shouldn’t have. It’s a waste of your time when you could be doing anything else.” He didn’t look at her, couldn’t. Alcryst had found himself drawn to Lapis since he first chose her to work alongside him. She had been so unassuming, so uncertain, until she readied a weapon. A quiet power he had grown to admire over the years. Somewhere along the way, they had become friends. Somewhere else along the way, he had begun to question the future of their friendship.
“I do not see it that way,” she said, unwavering. “The last few days have been…hard to say the least. I can’t imagine what you are going through, but you are not alone.”
Alcryst chewed on his bottom lip as the knot around his throat grew tighter. He did not want Lapis to see him this way, already a pathetic excuse for a prince. He could not be weak, too. “Can we…talk about something else? Please?”
Lapis quickly unknitted the worry from her brow and tapped her chin. “This might be a ridiculous question, but have you ever sheared a sheep, Prince Alcryst?”
“I have not.”
“I figured as much. Well, every year wool has to be removed from the sheep otherwise they’ll overheat, get sick, and a myriad of other problems. It’s a hard day’s work, one that would have my father out in back until supper. I used to beg him to let me help because it meant I’d get to be around the cute sheep all day and two, it looked fun. I was too young to do any of the actual work, but I looked forward to it. I’d have to be forced back into the house.”
Alcryst smiled at the idea of a young Lapis entangled with a bunch of sheep, not much bigger than them. Her love for animals had not faded with age or while being away from home. Warmth settled in the pit of his stomach for it had taken a long time before Lapis admitted to not being from a noble family, rather one of the countryside.
When pressed for why she had lied, Lapis said it was so Prince Alcryst would not view her as less than him or Citrinne.
Like he ever could.
At first, he had been irritated by the prospect. Did she really think of him to be so shallow? But after Citrinne discussed it with him—or rather, scolded—Alcryst realized it had nothing to do with him and more to do with Lapis’ view of herself. How many times in a single day did he view himself as inferior? He never had a right to judge her for those same feelings.
He turned to her. “That might be one of the most you stories I’ve ever heard.”
Her face softened, the tiniest splashes of red blooming across her cheeks. “Not in a bad way, I hope?
“Certainly not.” Alcryst asserted with a shake of his head. “I would like to learn more about your family…only if you want to share. Please don’t see it as a request.”
“Relax, Prince Alcryst. I would like that.” The pink spread to the top of her ears and spots on her neck.
Was she cold? Lapis didn’t seem to be shivering, especially with a formal cape tied around her shoulders.
Could it be a—
No. This was the worst of times to fuel his imagination, with a war in full swing and Alcryst’s father gone. Even if the pain did not feel as all-encompassing with Lapis close by.
He took the first deep breath he had taken since Elusia. “So much has changed and I should be much better at handling it than I am, but it…I can’t do what everyone else is doing in the great hall. I can’t only focus on how powerful my father was and forget he won’t be coming back. I can’t, L… Lapris.”
Alcryst spun on his heel as her name cracked across his lips. He tried to hurry away, but fingers wrapped around his wrist. With a single squeeze, the fight left his body.
“I do not have any expectations when it comes to this, Prince Alcryst. I only ask that you let me do what I’m supposed to as your retainer and as your friend.”
Oh, how he didn’t deserve her. “I…okay.”
Carefully—as if he were a doll about to shatter and he might just be—Lapis hugged him. Her cheek pressed against the middle of his back.
The gesture was too much and everything all at once. He let himself cry, and not too long after, Lapis had begun to do the same. They stayed that way for quite some time, until Alcryst had no tears left and his tongue only tasted salt.
When Lapis let go, Alcryst both longed for her touch again and felt lighter. As if a part of him had been set free.
“Thank you.”
“Always, P…Alcryst.”
He offered a ghost of a smile before interlacing his fingers with hers. He guided her to the wall of the parapet. They stayed there until the moon disappeared and the ceremony had ended.