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BigB had been called naive before, plenty of times actually.
He had been called too trusting, laughed at for spilling his information to the next person who passed him, shouted at for not keeping his mouth shut. Ren, His Majesty, had once even joked that they all would be in some “major friggin’ danger” if he ever happened to be the one kidnapped for state secrets. They wouldn’t even need to get to the torture phase for him to start drawing the maps to all their hidden stashes.
BigB had retorted, then, that he had no idea how to draw sky maps - he wasn’t a cartographer - but in a way, His Liege hadn’t exactly been wrong. Truly, it was a blessing he wasn’t as renowned as the Red King, as valuable as his Hand, as feared in combat as Etho or as important for diplomacy as Skizz.
Really, in the eyes of most people he wasn’t much more than some average member of the Red Guard who just happened to stumble into his place on the Council table, two seats away from one of the most powerful men on this side of the galaxy. And honestly, he wasn’t too keen on correcting them.
So, yeah, when it came to him being gullible, he could admit to his own flaw, no issue. Maybe that was why the synchronized glares that settled on his face pierced below his skin. Maybe it was where the pins and needles came from that punctured the tips of his fingers, his toes, the beating of his heart. He was glad he didn’t blush much, then, because he could feel how his blood rose to his face, swirled in his brain, made the sweat under his collar burn.
They all looked at him, but their mouths were shut tight, straight lines with downturned corners. He didn’t know to what degree it reflected their distrust towards him and to which just the tense atmosphere they all had tearing down their bones. He didn’t know which he would have preferred to be winning, either.
When someone spoke again, it was Martyn, his knitted eyebrows mirroring the way he lifted his lips. Not a snarl, not that, but definitely not welcoming.
“B,” Martyn began. Yeah, Martyn had always been the one to chime in, drive the confrontation, even if Ren himself couldn’t. He shouldn’t be surprised.
“If you know anything about where they are, you need to tell us. This isn’t about- the safety of way more people than just us is on the line, got it?”
Yeah, oh, of course, he was way more than aware of that. He gulped down his pins, swallowed the needles, took a deep breath, and met Martyn’s eyes.
“I don’t know anymore than you do,” he lied.
BigB lied. Because no matter how wrong this felt, how much his tongue wanted to twist out from his palate, he couldn’t say a word. This, this was the one thing he couldn’t spill. That he wouldn’t spill over his dead body.
-
It was about a week earlier that a loud thumb could be heard in the cockpit of the Monopoly Mountain . Grian had slammed his forehead on the control panel as the fourth wave of “awwww, who is a good kitty” reached his ears that afternoon. The button he landed on gave off a not-so-good beep, but he couldn’t have cared less if there was currently some missile being fired off the side of their rocket ship into the abyss around them. Really, the only thing he cared about was for the headache currently piercing his noggin to leave.
Said headache was a tall man named Scar, though as he was currently crouched down on his seat, running his fingers through fur for hours again, his height wasn’t as obvious. His brown hair was tied into a ponytail, though its functionality was unclear as a shit ton of it landed in his eyes anyway, not protected by his visor as it was half-hazardly tossed on the floor. Grian vaguely remembered that the original reason he did so was to recharge it, but that seemed to be forgotten now. Yeah, everything had been forgotten, really, except a gray-and-white fluffball named Jellie.
Grian cleared his throat, loudly. It was only then that Scar actually looked up to him.
“Oh, come on, G! You also think she’s adorable, don’t even make that face!”
“No comment,” ‘G’ replied. “But as captain I feel obliged to inform you that we are literally only a few minutes away from the station now, so if you want to go through the plans-”
“And as co-captain,” Scar interrupted. “I am very aware of that and think that the best plan is no plan!”
“ Scar! This isn't some- ugh, you know this is important. This is Ren, for fucks sake, you know, the Red King?”
Scar just shrugged and went back to caressing the poor cat's fur. It purred very loudly at that, for some reason.
“We ain’t scared of some dogboy, are we now, Jellie? Hm? Are we now? I think you should listen to my soulmate, Grian.”
Grian pinched the bridge of his nose so hard he was afraid he might have injured something. He saved the argument of ‘having your cat as a soulmate was not how any of that works’ for later. Yeah, alright, sure didn’t seem like this headache would go anywhere at all.
“Christ, right, you know all I need from you is to deactivate the security cameras and to distract the guards. Think you can do that for me?”
“Know I can do that for you! Come on, aren’t we business partners? We’ve done this about a million times. Relax, get the goods, get paid by the crastle, that’s the bizz.
“Ah, and also. You might wanna look where you’re flying, buddy.”
Grian turned around with a jolt. Just beyond the windshield, iron towers and walls were building from the void, taller and more impenetrable than anything the duo has ever dealt with before. He grinned. Well, this would be a challenge.
–
The Red Winter space station was unlike anything in the galaxy. With how far removed from any other planet or star it was, it should have been a dead piece of metal floating around, nothing but the endless dark and cold swallowing it.
But, Ren was a man that knew his stuff - or whoever he employed was, anyway. The entire island was surrounded by a giant force field, within which oxygen machines pumped away, artificial lighting simulated the day cycle, and ivy grew around the towers, almost as if placed purposefully for the aesthetic. In short - the Red Winter was a city. And it was full of life.
Thankfully, their insider gave them enough information to find a spot in which they could slip in unnoticed. It was opened, just for a few minutes, to let a large cargo ship enter with its goods. That window was enough for them to hide within its blind spot. If the Monopoly Mountain had anything going for it, it was how small and agile it was. …And that their pilot was not entirely incompetent - even if Grian wasn’t sure in how far Scar would agree with that sentiment.
Following the bigger ship was also how they managed to make their way into the hangar, where they squeezed between two of the giant vehicles in the very far corners. They appeared to be battleships, the royal emblem portrayed loud and proud on their paint coat. It was plenty intimidating but, if their supplier was so set on dealing with these, well, he supposed it wasn’t his job to talk them out of it.
They waited in breath hitched silence (Well, Grian did, Scar didn’t exactly stop baby talking at Jellie) until the… people? Androids? Stopped unloading the cargo and then snuck out of the hangar itself. It opened from the inside, thank god, but the opening of the shutters was gaudy enough that Grian could only pray they weren’t noticed.
Hey, maybe somebody even heard that prayer.
“Okay, Scar, you know what you have to do. I’m just scouting where potential documents might be hidden. We’ll meet here before the sun rises. Got it?”
‘The sun rising’ was of course just the lanterns spread around the town becoming less and less dim, but he supposed it was useful enough of a description.
“I’ll be waiting in the ship if you take too long.”
“Don’t do anything stupid.”
“Like I’ve ever,” Scar brushed him off. “See you, my friend!”
Grian could have written a novel on how that first bit was incorrect, but he instead watched Scar jump away, staying near the walls and moving almost silently. Yeah, sure, Scar was an idiot, but he knew what he was doing. Grian trusted him, with far more than his life. And so, he turned around and squinted his eyes against the landscape of steel.
-
The block that stuck out to Grian the most was the one that was the least noteworthy, exactly for that reason. It was hidden behind the ginormous towers, their huge sensors following every movement with their metallic eyes. Whatever it was that Scar was doing, however, seemed to be working. Grian slipped by completely unnoticed. Still, the box was positioned central enough, as if perfectly prepared to be reached in case of emergency.
Grian almost guessed it led to a bunker, but the window on the bottom floor would have been a liability. It was too inviting, almost. He didn’t let the opportunity slip him by.
With a little bit of tool work Grian broke a hinge of the window, allowing it to open just enough for him to slip through. It still creaked, like the traitorous bastard that it was. He cringed. If this place was important enough to be guarded at night, he was in a pretty tight spot.
When after a few seconds no one appeared, though, he dared to sneak through the rooms. Chairs, desks, more chairs, bookshelves with folders that were full of what was clearly administrative bullshit. Grian had used his torch to make out any of the titles, but they were all boring and said very little about the content.
If the secret of how to siege the Red Winter was somewhere in here, Grian did not envy Bdubs or Cleo or whoever it was that had this gigantic task before them in the slightest. He only felt a bit sorry for himself if he had to drag all of this to the Crastle at some point.
He continued onwards, almost giving up on this building, before he noticed a door leading to a small off-room. It was open, though judging by the heavy lock mechanism it was not usually meant to be.
Grian shut off the torch in case someone was in there and approached to investigate it closer, only relying on the faint glow of the stars to guide him.
Yeah, no kidding. That door was completely made of steel and way thicker than it needed to be, suggesting a whole bunch of redstone was hiding within to make breaking in even tougher. He couldn’t say he was a fan.
Inside didn’t look much different before, except that it was all folders now, packed like sardines. Still, they almost looked more cared for anyway. More classified.
Bingo.
Grian stepped forward, with his arms outstretched towards the goodies.
He knew his mistake after the first note of the alarm.
Fuck.
As quick as possible, he stuffed the two folders closest to him under his arms and ran for the exit.
Mentally, he was yelling at himself. Come on, G, did you get overexcited there? You’re meant to be an expert! Now everything is crashing down around you, simply because you didn’t check for an alarm? Idiot!
Still, he approached the window and it didn’t look like there was anything stopping him. Good, just the last few meters, he could get away with it, he could-
The lights flickered on. A blue sweater appeared in front of his vision and he only managed to freeze a second before crashing into it.
“Who’s there,” the owner of said sweater yelled. “Identify yourself!”
Despite the words and volume, his voice didn’t sound harsh. It was strange, any other time Grian had faced guards, he would have been shot at by now.
“Uh, a guest?” He tried to bluff weakly.
“Right,” the man responded. “I’m sorry about this, but I’ll have to restrain you. Please don’t resist.”
Welp, Grian was not about all that at all.
He filled his lungs with air, spread his wings and threw himself to one side.
The dodge was just sudden enough that he heard the guard miss him. There was a soft gasp somewhere behind him, but he couldn’t focus on it. With a roll, he got out of danger and back to his feet.
The window was further, again. Damn it.
A piercing noise suddenly drowned out everything else, just for a second. Grian winced and felt his feathers stand up. It might not have been anywhere close to him, but he would never get used to the sound of gunshots.
“This was a warning! I am using stun-bullets, these are not lethal, but I will use them .”
Weirdly enough, this made Grian grin. Was it possible he was dealing with a bit of a softy? That was rare.
“Thanks for the heads up, but I do happen to have somewhere I need to be right now-”
He was not surprised to be cut off by a bullet narrowly scraping by his shoulder. Okay, right, he needed to get moving like yesterday.
Without real regards to his surroundings, he ran, pushing over chairs and jumping on tables in his way. He heard the bullets rush by near his ears a couple of times more, but he was swift - far more than the human shooting him seemed to be used to.
“Okay, I’d be really lovely if you could step away from the window now? Or lock open the door for me?”
“Yeah, sure, let me do that,” despite thick sarcasm the guard sounded far less annoyed than Grian would have expected him to be at this point. Maybe negotiations weren’t hopeless after all?
“Well, what are you going to do after you catch me anyway? Bring me to your big bad boss?”
“I don’t see why I shouldn’t,” the man tightened his defensive position and eyed him warily, but he did tilt down his weapon, for now.
“Mainly because I don’t think he’ll be happy to know that you screwed up your job and left the door unlocked. After all, you led some thief into your most valuable documents!”
Grian felt the folders slip under his arm. He steadied them.
This was a bluff, an absolute and utter bluff. He had no clue whether his loot was worth shit, he had no clue whether the man in front of him was actually responsible.
But then, his eyes did shoot open and his face almost seemed to pale. Bingo?
“So you know, if you just let me go I’ll be on my merry way and won’t tell anyone-”
“Yeah right.”
This time Grian was not fast enough, not even when he used his wings to lunge to the side. Before the pain registered in his brain he saw the speckles of red on his upper arm. Just a scratch, really, it was in no way dangerous. But it did mean that whatever the bullet was laced with was now most certainly in his system. He didn’t exactly fancy being sedated. Meaning he had minutes left, now. Maybe seconds.
Well, fuck it, only one way out.
The scream was loud enough to deafen his own ears as he stormed towards the window, each muscle tensed to catapult himself forward. It was far more than enough to make the guard flinch.
Grian reached out, touching the glass plane, pushing it open-
It seemed that he had miscalculated, though. He still crashed into the guard, enough for their hands to collide, bare skin brushing skin.
Then there was pain.
That’s all that Grian knew.
There was hot, biting pain, just above his heart.
It wasn’t from a bullet. It wasn’t, and Grian knew because the gun laid uselessly abandoned on the floor below him. Or at least he thought it was the gun, his vision was far too blurry from the tears that shot to his eyes to know for sure.
He ached. Strings had crawled under his skin towards his heart, into his body, into every organ. He couldn't breathe without feeling like death. Had the strings pierced his lungs?
No, he couldn’t think like that. He needed to move.
He took a step forward, only to bonk his forehead against a glass plane. Ah. Well that was minimally pathetic.
Still, it was also grounding, in a way? He slapped his check against the cold. Yeah, no, that was nice. He could think again.
The guard was no longer next to him, he noticed then. Rather, there was panting coming from a spot on the floor where he had fallen. His entire body was shaking and where he had slammed his fingers into the ground his knuckles seemed to become white.
Oh, okay. Maybe Grian got away relatively easy after all.
There was a part of him that screamed to help, to move his butt and do something. It felt foreign. Afterall, he knew the most rational action would be to get out of there and back to his ship. He has long since lost his sense of time - and he really couldn't afford to miss Scar.
Gathering himself - the panging had steadily subsided - he punched himself up and hung one leg through the window.
“WAIT!” The guard had peeled his head off the floor and was now staring at Grian. “Don’t go! You need to explain this.”
“I really need to move now, and I don’t think this really needs explaining.”
"Yes, it does!" He moved into a sitting position, but couldn’t really hide the shaking from his back. He didn’t even reach for the gun. “Fine, leave. But will I ever see you again?”
And, okay, Grian really didn’t know what had entered his system then. Maybe it was the exhaustion, maybe it was his brain swimming in emotions he couldn’t really place, maybe it was the grogginess injected by the bullet. But, the thing that left his lips before he could hold himself back was:
“That sounds like you are asking me on a date.”
The other man stared at him like a deer in headlights.
“...What?”
Grian bit his lip. Yeah, very fair question, what the fuck did he mean?
This wasn’t really a social situation he could make less awkward by talking, was it? Well, he still had the option of a dignified exit.
He gave the guard a mysterious smile, leaned back where he was sitting in the window, and let himself fall.
…Only to hit the hard ground half a meter below him, because he forgot they weren’t high enough for him to spread his wings.
Smooth, Grain. Real smooth.
Back on their ship, it was a wonder that he even got a second away from Scar, with how much the man was doting over him, reprimanding him for getting injured while bandaging the bullet wound. Still, before tiredness could completely overtake him, he managed to take his sweater off and see himself in the mirror.
And yeah, there it was, on his chest, just above where his heart should be. Itched in a warm brown ink was the soulmark showing a single chocolate chip cookie.
-
“Oh, glorious day to you, biggest B, my dude!”
Ren's smile was no less toothy than it had always been, though it did little to hide the exhaustion in his eyes. A pang of empathy traveled through BigB’s chest as he noticed.
Yeah, sure, he himself might not have had sleep tonight, but equally he was not currently responsible for planning the Aurora festival.
Technology was one crazy thing, these days the exact wind conditions that were required to produce an aurora borealis were perfectly measurable, and, not only that - they also knew very much that this night, in only a few days now, the spectacle will be one unlike anything anyone alive has seen, with colors so rare they have not shown in decades.
That’s what BigB had gathered, anyways. He was no scientist, he wasn’t too familiar with all that stuff, really.
What he did know was that the spectacle is happening on a planet that would be a very powerful ally to the Red Winter. And that tons of people had already been transported from their territories to the housing their hosts provided.
From now on, everything had to be perfect. They couldn’t allow a single mistake.
And so, BigB’s guilt was only steadily growing at the disaster that last night had been. He needed almost all of it to clean up the mess the chase had left behind. Though, weirdly enough, he wasn’t interrupted a single time while he was doing so. The guard that was meant to take over his shift in the morning hours never came. He didn’t mind, he didn’t think he could have slept after what had happened anyway.
“Good morning, my liege.”
“Good morning, he says!” Ren put his hands on his hips. “Laddie, it is almost noon! Was there some occurrence happenin’ last night?”
“Yeah, actually. I have to check if I missed someone calling in sick, I wasn’t replaced yesterday.”
He felt bad for obscuring the truth - there was something far more dire that happened yesterday - but he simply needed more information before telling Ren. And, after all, if the intruder simply never showed up again and stopped bothering them, would it really be so bad if Ren never found out that he was so horrible at job? Enough to forget locking the one door he was supposed to be guarding?
“Oh, dang, you good, bro?” Ren looked concerned. “You know, you don’t have to work today if you’d rather take a nap, your eyebags are so huge they could carry the groceries for the whole station!”
BigB had to bite back the retort that Ren did not look much better.
“Nah, I’m fine,” he said instead. “I got the few hours of sleep after everyone came in today already. That’s why I’m a bit late.”
Okay, now that was a straight-up lie. Really, what he’d used that time for was to build a set-up with two mirrors in his dorm so he could see his own back. He spent hours analyzing the lines that now painted it in white ink.
He wasn’t sure if he was surprised to see it was wings. At least it was confirmation that it was actually him, not some traces of DNA on his skin that triggered the reaction or something dumb like that.
No, whoever the stranger was, he was also his soulmate. And BigB had no idea what he was meant to think about that.
On one hand, it was the modern age. The myth that soulmates had to automatically become the most important people in your life has long since been shattered. And nobody is even considering the idea that they are inherently romantic, either. That’s an ancient concept.
Truth is, most people just… don’t find their soulmates. The universe is too vast for that, humanoid species too far apart, the chances too slim. And BigB had always been perfectly content with that. He was his own person, he chose who he cared about, and those people happened to all be on this station. The Red Winter was all he had, and all he needed.
At the same time, though - there’s a reason why he left his home planet. The same reason that humanity started exploring the stars in the first place, really. Because there is so much that people know, so much that can be explained, and yet. And yet there is the core of being that is so much more than that.
There is a point where the rational stops and the strings of something mythical are spun. There is an edge to this universe, he is sure of it, where the things that make sense fade out. And maybe it’s impossible for humans to find that edge. But BigB had sworn to himself that he would never ignore a call that came from there.
“Well, if you’re sure,” Ren’s eyes rested on him for just one more moment. “Make yourself helpful where you can.”
“Yeah, I will.”
If he could manage to not get distracted by what he’ll have to do tonight.
-
There was a noise, thumps against the metal walls that surrounded him. BigB sidestepped, making sure not to lose sight of the window or the emergency shut-off button, nor to leave his hiding spot. The hinges were still loose where the burglar had broken the frame last night, BigB made sure it stayed that way - nothing should stop him in his visit tonight, after all.
He halted his breath, as he harked. Despite having spent years in outer space, he had never quite managed to get used to the silence, so the gentle wind from the oxygen machines on the Red Winter had always been comforting. Now, though? Now it felt like it was drowning him, mixing with the blood that wirbled in his ears, until it was all he could hear.
It was dark. That only made his other senses sharper, also.
It was dark, he could barely see his hands if he held them before his face, only the barest lumination from the stars that reached his light receptors made him see the outline. Each star was an infinite distance away.
The thumbing was louder still. It felt closer. It wasn’t separate from the wind rushing out the vent.
BigB did not avert his eyes from the window.
The floor shook. BigB jumped back, breath hitching. His back hit the shut-off button. The doors slammed with a thud. They were accompanied by a horrible beep, and a red light. The ventilation grille reflected it, just for a second. It had fallen but a centimeter away from his feet.
“Ah, bollocks,” a voice said from above.
BigB had no idea whether he should stay hidden anymore, but it didn’t seem like he was given much choice. The slimmest shimmer of a torch reached his vision. So did the blond head of hair that hung from the ceiling, replacing the grille that had just been there. The torch was clenched under his chin.
“Oi, no one here who’ll help me get down? Jeez, where are your manners?”
Despite the complaints, the burglar seemed to do perfectly fine getting down himself. Well, if ‘perfectly fine’ included a painful looking fall on his side, that is.
Feeling the impact travel through the soulbond was enough to shake BigB out of his stupor, at the very least. Sure, he hadn’t anticipated to be greeted from anywhere other than the window, nor did he expect the entrance to be that… subtle, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t proceed with his plan.
He grabbed the handcuffs he had brought, leaned forward, calculated the distance to one pair of wrists, jumped, and clicked the lock shut on…
…thin air.
The man had stood up with an inhuman lack of effort, and was leaning against the solid wall that a minute ago was an open doorway. Under his breath, he was muttering something about the damn dust in the vent while preening his… wings… Right, that explained the reflexes. Inhuman, huh? That made sense.
“Oh, hey, you again,” the stranger said. “It’s almost like you work here.”
“Hello,” he answered. He couldn’t think of anything smarter to say.
“Well, there seems to be a button that closed the door that I wanted to go into. Could you open it for me? That’d be swell.”
BigB just shook his head. He was in a bit of a stupor, after his initial plan of arrest failed. Was this guy keen on just chatting?
“Aw, BigB, don’t be like that!”
“I- HUH?”
His blood froze. How did he…
“Oh, it is BigB! Knew you didn’t look like a Tom.”
Tom was the guard that was supposed the replace him, last night, which meant,
“You know my schedule?”
“It’s one of the things that I could sneak out yesterday, yeah,” he shrugged. “Well, along with a different something something. And since I know your name now, I think it’s only fair that you know mine, don’t you think?”
The thief reached out his hand and handed him a folded piece of paper. BigB took it wearily. Yeah, alright, it certainly felt like it could have been one of this archive’s documents.
Flipping it open, he immediately recognized the fat letters that spelled out “ENTRY RESTRICTION” at the top of the page. Letting his eyes trail down, all he saw was a very blurry picture of a person with big purple wings and next to it, only one word: Grian.
Oh, that was not the first time he has heard that name.
“No way, you have to be kidding.”
“Nuh-uh, that’s me, flesh and blood!” The burgl- Grian, confirmed.
The headache of anxiety that BigB had been carrying with him since last night suddenly grew tenfold. Sure, he knew that his soulmate was a thief and probably a wanted criminal, but it made a difference that he was the thief and wanted criminal!
Especially because, well, the whole thing with Grian was that people didn’t see him, ever. There are tons of eyewitness records, of course, there is DNA evidence and audio recordings, but every security camera seemed to fade out just at the right moment. And every person who did claim to see him never has enough memory for a detailed description. The picture in the file was a rare exception, maybe the only one out there.
Yet here he was, showing himself to BigB with no second thought.
“I was really honored to see you had an entire page on me! It’s good to have fans, you know?”
Right, that’s because whatever the mind-altering technology that he uses is, it’s probably going to be used on him very soon. Well, no downside of trying to remember what he looks like, anyway.
Grian wasn’t human. That much had been obvious from the first time he saw him, the wings weren’t exactly subtle. But there was more to it than the feathers sticking out from his head, torso and as a tail. His eyes were dark, the black sclera only interrupted by a thin purple iris.
His entire stance looked as if he was readying himself to jump and fly away at any moment, his body held in a way that suggested he had talons rather than feet. It was something to get used to.
“Wait, you knew I’d be here if you read my schedule. Why did you still show up?” BigB asked carefully.
“Well, you did ask me for that second date-”
“I did not!” BigB protested. “Actually, you know what?”
He raised one arm demonstratively and pinched himself. Grian flinched immediately, rubbing the spot on his own body.
“OW? What was that for?”
“For me having to run around with that bullet wound hurting all day.”
“YOU’RE THE ONE WHO SHOT ME?” Grian stared at him in disbelief.
“Well, you’re the one who didn’t take care of it enough.”
“Oh, don’t even begin- My partner in crime has used disinfectant like five times this morning. The only way it could be not taken care of is if I actively fought it.”
“Ah,” BigB cringed. “That’ll explain the burning.”
They went on like this, for a while. Speaking about absolutely nothing in particular while keeping a distance, not ever letting the other go unsupervised. They didn’t ever name what had happened between them, didn’t speak about productive things like how they would continue with this knowledge.
Still, it wasn’t… as hard, existing in the same space as Grian. He certainly did not attempt to steal anything more from the archive. And BigB didn’t try to arrest him any longer.
It was only the first rays of artificial light reached them that Grian made his way to the window.
“Just so you know, this wasn’t the date you have been promised!” Grian said as he was climbing outside. “I’ll still think up something for that, don’t you worry!”
“Still not a date I actually agreed to. But sure, alright. You get home safe.”
That made Grian laugh, he hid his mouth with his palm. If the light wasn’t still this dim, BigB might have even noticed the light blush that was forming beneath it.
“Yeah, B. I shall absolutely get safely to the enemy ship that is currently hiding on your territory.”
Okay, maybe that was a bit of a silly thing to say.
A few hours later, however, he still officially changed the schedule to give himself that night shift at the archive every night. And when Skizz mustered him quizzically at their meeting, he still didn’t say a single word.
-
Grian had lost the count of how many times he had had these nightly meetings with BigB when it came to the night before the Aurora festival. Surely, it couldn’t have been a week yet, could it?
It was about the third night that the weird, interrogation-like energy ceased and they actually sat next to each other. And it took one more night for BigB to actually come to the conclusion that he should take his work to do with him so he at least had some hours to sleep during the day.
The tension, so electric and dangerous at first, had slowly faded into the comfort of two unsynced breathing patterns.
The first time their fingers casually brushed, they both flinched, almost as if expecting the pain to come back. It didn’t, of course, and since then Grian had become gleefully comfortable at resting his back on BigB side or his head on his shoulder.
One night, when BigB was more sleeping on top of his pile of papers than filling them, he had asked:
“You know, I wonder if there is any truth in what they say.”
“What do they say?
“That the first time you touch your soulmate, it hurts because your body is catching up on all the pain they have felt in their life.”
“Ah,” Grian cringed pretty badly at that. “If that’s true, I am very sorry.”
BigB waved him off.
“I don’t think I’m much better myself really.”
Grian shook his head, but it was gentle enough that sleepy BigB didn’t notice it. He really couldn’t imagine that that was the case.
They talked, a lot. Most of it wasn’t vulnerable, or profound, far from it, but they were slowly fumbling in that direction.
Grian learned that it had always been BigB’s dream to travel the universe, but that he had settled on being a baker on his home planet before the opportunity actually arose. His heart warmed at that revelation, in a way. Neither of them had shared their soulmark, not yet, similarly to how they never truly named their bond out loud aside from hypotheticals. It was as if speaking it out loud would make it something actually tangible. Something that could last.
But, the more time Grian spent with this man, the more he understood the symbol and why it chose to attach itself to his soul. It had seemed so antithetical to everything he was at first, but now? Now it just seemed like everything he was missing.
In turn, Grian told him about how he met Scar at an intergalactic fair, when they both were trying to run their tourist trap scheme by each other. They hadn’t separated since.
This night should not have been different to any other night, really. It had no reason to be. Sure, BigB was a bit more nervous as he scanned the documents with his eyes, double- and triple checking whether the security measures he installed for the Aurora festival were actually secure, and well, there might have been the tiny issue of how this was the absolute last night Scar and Grian had given themselves before leaving this station for good. But other than that, no difference at all.
“Hey, B?” Grian tried to cut the tense atmosphere carefully. It felt as if his knife was getting stuck
“Mhm?”
“You know how we have this whole secret soulmate thing going on-”
BigB flinched at that. Good to know he wasn’t the only one who still thought this was weird to acknowledge.
“And, well, with the Aurora festival, I don’t have that much time to actually talk to you about it, so- I just want to know what we’ll do. About all of this.”
BigB’s attention was now fully and utterly on him. He could see blood trickling down from where he was biting his own lip too hard.
“Hey! Hey. I don’t want to pressure you to make any life changing decisions,” Grian reassured him a little desperately. “I get it, I’m just some guy who randomly entered your life. You didn’t ask for this, I know you have everything you need here-”
“No,” BigB interrupted him. “I get it. It’s my choice, I understand, just-”
Suddenly, Grian felt pressure on his chest. Looking down, he only saw the top of BigB’s curls from where he had burrowed his face into his sweater.
“I want to choose this.”
The confession was muffled by the fabric. Still, nothing had ever registered clearer in Grian’s mind.
He placed his palm on the side of BigB’s face, running his thumb over his collarbone. The skin felt hot under the touch. Or maybe it was simply Grian’s hand that was cold.
“I would be happy if you did.”
“But-,” BigB severed the contact to wipe away snot from his face. Maybe it was the beginning of tears, too. “I just don’t know where else I could go. This has been my home forever, basically. I don’t want to leave it behind.”
“The Monopoly Mountain always has a free bed for you, you know that?”
BigB smiled weakly.
“Sure. I just, I don’t know if you guyses lifestyle would ever suit me, like, at all. And I haven’t even met Scar yet. Have you even asked him?”
“I’m sure he wouldn’t-”
“No, he might mind! And that would be absolutely fine, I think. Like, I am just a stranger who also happens to be your… secret soulmate. And from what you told me it almost sounds like Scar was your actual, chosen soulmate before all this. He has a say in this.”
His chosen soulmate… blood rose into his face, painting it red with shame. He really, really should have talked with Scar about this. Though it’s not like they’ve ever had boundaries- no, he would tell him. That was the right thing to do. He just wanted BigB’s decision first.
Said man was currently grumbling into his collar.
“I just, I don’t know! Grian, I don’t know, but I don’t want to lose you.”
“Don’t sweat it, we can come up with something,” he did not know how much he believed his own words, but he put as much conviction as he could muster behind them. “Just- today is one shit night for goodbyes. And I still haven’t taken you on that date I promised you.”
“You shut up,” BigB grinned, elbowing his side. Then he got serious, again. “What are you suggesting?”
“Show me the map of the venue again, maybe?”
BigB knitted his eyebrows but did what he was told. The large, heavy piece of paper took a bit of fiddling with from both of them, but when it was smoothed out over the table, the impressive scale of it really proved worth it.
Every single detail, from the position of every guard to the safety hazards from the set-up of the several stages - everything was meticulously annotated with BigB’s tiny handwriting.
“Tell me, where are you meant to be?”
“Right next to Ren, actually,” he pointed towards the podium in the upper middle. “Though I have the special permission to leave whenever I need to instruct staff.”
“Well, let’s see if you could be any good for our lifestyle,” Grian raised his finger unnecessarily dramatically and pointed at a piece of fenced-off forest to the left of the entire venue.
“This is where I will be waiting. If you don’t show up, I’ll know your answer. But if you wanna leave with us or just say goodbye, you know where to find me.”
BigB stared at him disbelievingly.
“I have a duty though! I need to be there in case of emergency, I can’t just-”
“True, it’s a risk,” Grian murmured. “Guess you aren’t obliged to take it. Also,” he waved dismissively. “With how you planned this to death, there literally isn’t anything that could go wrong.”
There was a few seconds of silence, but BigB did eventually exhale a large gulp of air.
“Fine. I’ll use tomorrow to decide. But can we just… stay like this? For now?”
Grian only then realized that during their discussion, they had moved back to sitting next to each other. Or, well, on top of each other, maybe that was more accurate to how BigB was pressed against him.
He smirked and threw his arms over him.
“Oh? You mean like this?”
Instead of an answer BigB just burrowed himself deeper into Grian’s neck.
Yeah, he could work with this. For now.
-
“We’re staying one more night,” Grian announced as he let himself fall on the couch next to Scar.
“Oh, we are now? I thought we had to make sure to leave before there was any landing going on!”
“Eh, them landing doesn’t make as much of a difference, we’re well enough hidden. And I think the festival might just be the chance I need to find that thing that brings that cash. After all, King Dog wouldn’t be home for something like that, would he?”
“And that is your only reason?” Scar mustered Grian skeptically.
“‘Course, dude, what other reason is there? Look, get this: What I am allowing you to do is to go out onto this foreign planet for an entire night , do whatever it is you’re doing when you want to get us almost caught, and, since I wont be there to stop you, you can throw away all our money on useless things too. Sound like a deal?”
A spark was awakened in Scar’s eyes.
“Wait, wait, does that mean I can buy all the Jellie treats?”
“Why is that- ugh, sure, if you can find Jellie treats this far out here, you can buy them all, I don’t care.”
“Oh, Grian, you are a darling!” Scar singsang as he threw himself onto him in a side hug.
Grian grumbly accepted the touch for ten seconds before planting his palm in the center of Scar’s face and pushing him away.
“Alright, alright, buddy, that's enou- EW, DID YOU LICK ME?”
Scar’s beaming expression was plenty of an answer.
“You’re disgusting.”
“Yeah, yeah, you think that,” Scar fiddled with his visor before standing up. “Come on, Jellie! We’re about to go on the adventure of our lifetime! Let hot guy reign once more.”
He let the fur ball jump on his arms, coddled her for a moment, then awkwardly used his elbow to hit the button to open the door.
“I will be watching the landing from a prime position! Oh, but, if you’re bringing whoever you’re meeting back here, make sure you don’t go too wild, alright?” Scar winked. “And I expect to know who it is by tomorrow, got it?”
“WHA- What do you??!-” Grian jumped out of his seat. He could feel his pulse. “How could you even know-”
“Oh, you smell different,” Scar shrugged.
“Sorry?? Why do you even know what I smell like?!”
Instead of a response, all he got was a two fingered salute as Scar walked backwards through the luke, letting it fall shut behind him. The last glimpse Grian could steal was of Jellie’s contented face, fat cheeks seeming almost as smug as her owner’s.
“I can’t believe it,” Grian sighed to himself. “He fucking sniffed me.”
-
It took BigB far longer than he’d like to admit before he finally found the clearing.
Well, part of it was because he left far later than anticipated. He was debating whether to dare until the very last second, his palm’s gathering sweat as he stood next to Ren during his speech, a sea of both foreign and familiar faces staring back at him.
This event was so incredibly significant for everything he had been working on for most of his adult life. It made him itch like there were bugs crawling under his skin.
But the thought of Grian sitting on the forest floor, waiting until the sunrise, leaving without a goodbye - maybe it was enough for him to make up his mind. And well, the wrapped pastries in his backpack weighed heavy enough for him to reconsider, too. It couldn’t have been for nothing, could it?
The greenery around him became denser, then less dense again, and then he spotted a splotch of red between the treelines. Okay, maybe the fantasy of Grian sitting on the forest floor was a little unfair. He seemed to be perfectly content as he was spread out on a thick picnic blanket, munching away on a bowl of snacks next to him. Only when BigB was standing exactly in front of him did he actually look up.
“OH- you came!” The relieved grin he gave him was huge enough to split his face in two. “I’m just- I’ve been thinking about how stupid the ultimatum I gave you was, and I really wouldn’t have been upset if you decided to leave me sitting here for that-”
“Don’t talk like that,” BigB interrupted him sternly. “I chose to come, didn’t I?”
Grian looked up at him with an amount of admiration that suggested he wouldn’t need an aurora borealis to live through a spectacle tonight.
“You came.”
BigB didn’t know how to return the sheer affection that was flowing from Grian’s words, but he hoped that by unpacking his backpack, he could at least begin to do so.
“You even brought something?” Grian’s eyes shot to his hairline.
BigB sank down to the floor and crossed his legs. The paper bag crunched in his hands as he unwrapped it, revealing the choco chip cookies he had carried with him. There was still warmth radiating from the batter, and the smell spread around them. Clearly, Grian had smelled it too, as he flopped over to his side with an ecstatic gasp. It was so sudden that BigB jerked back, just for a second. It didn’t seem to deter the other from bouncing on his spot.
“Did you bake these yourself?”
“I might have, yeah,” BigB answered. He observed Grian as the other gleefully took a bite out of the pastry. His eyes were closed and his face flushed.
…Alright, BigB knew he was a great baker, but that seemed just a little excessive. But as Grian finished his portion, his voice was absolutely genuine when concluded that “they are incredible.”
“Tell me about them! Are they like, a secret recipe passed along in your family for generations? The corporate secret of the bakery you used to work on?”
“Dude!” He giggled into his fist. “They are normal cookies!”
“You are lying! No way.”
“Yes way! Why should they be special?”
“Oh shit, I keep forgetting to-”
Grian peeled off his sweater in one swift motion, revealing his bare chest, only decorated with one amulet that Grian kept hidden beneath his clothing. BigB gasped.
“What are you doing! It’s cold!”
“Yeah, yeah, just one second. Look at this.”
Oh, yeah, there it was. A small brown patch on the pale skin, lines embroidering into exactly the shape that the cookies BigB had brought had. It even spaced the chocolate chips the same way. Almost a bit uncanny.
Before he consciously caught up with what he was doing, his fingers started to trail over the ink. He met goosebumps wherever his fingertips had brushed before. Well it was very cold .
Still, he couldn’t prevent himself from being utterly hypnotized.
“I can’t believe it decided this was the most important thing about me,” he shook his head.
Grian’s laugh was raspy and quiet.
“No, I believe it made sense even before I knew you liked baking,” he abused the situation they were in to press a kiss to BigB’s forehead.
“You taste like home.”
They sat basking in the moment before BigB finally decided that Grian was evidently freezing. His cheeks were painted in a dark red, seemingly from all the blood that was circulating like crazy to save him from a certain hypothermic death.
“Well, I guess it’s only fair that you see your equivalent. But for the love of God, put on your shirt first.”
“Usually I’m the one who has to use that line on Scar,” Grian laughed, but did as he was told.
Being the less complete maniac out of the two of them, BigB only lifted his sweater slightly. It was far more than enough for Grian to get an impression.
“You know, I get told my wings look majestic a lot,” he murmured. “I don’t think I ever understood what that meant before I saw them on your skin.”
BigB wanted to answer, but a bright flash of teal interrupted him in his tracks. He tilted his head up.
Oh. Wow.
“It’s starting,” Grian whispered.
“Yeah.”
Wordlessly, they laid down to fully take in what was going on above them. The multicolored dragon pierced through the treetops, spewing its violet and red fire. The two humanoids, feeling far smaller than ever before, scooted next to each other, their bodies touching to conserve warmth.
BigB caught himself turning to see how the light reflected on Grian’s cheeks far more often than he’d like to admit. But maybe, if he could be entirely honest with himself, he’d say that was the most gorgeous part.
-
The loud buzzing of his communicator tor BigB out of the show maybe one hour in. Confused, he fished it out of his pockets. There really only should be a handful of people that could have come through, what could this-?
Grian had also sat up next to him, eying him with confusion.
“Hey BigB, there has been a sighting of a dangerous person in the vicinity. Where are you?” He read outloud, his eyes becoming wider and wider with every word. He exchanged panic glances with his soulmate, who seemed to have about as little of an inkling of what was going on as he had.
“That can’t be about you, can it? How would they have seen you here?”
“... Fuck,” Grian exhaled in realization. He took out the amulet that BigB had noticed earlier and pressed it together in his palm.
“...Yeah, no, it’s Scar. Dammit.”
BigB felt his fingers grow numb.
“Do you know where to go? Will you be okay?”
“Yeah,” Grian confirmed with a quick nod, his breath hitching. “Yeah, I’ll be just fine. But I need to know your decision. Now .”
Oh, right. They hadn’t even talked about that, had they.
“I can’t come,” he shook his head. “Especially not now, I need to set this straight. Need to make sure they can’t come after you, you know?”
Grian inhaled sharply.
“If you are sure, take this.”
He lifted the necklace from his shoulders and hung it to drip down BigB’s collar.
“Scar has the other half, but I’ll just make sure he doesn’t leave my side. This will allow you to know wherever we are at any time, got it?
“And I promise you, this is not the last time we’re seeing each other.”
BigB gulped.
“Can you seal that promise?”
“What do you…?”
But before Grian could finish the thought, BigB had leaned in and closed the gap between their lips.
When Grian kissed back, it felt desperate. BigB doesn’t think he has ever tasted a goodbye evaporate on his tongue like this.
But as they severed the touch, all he could see in Grian’s eyes was determination.
“We will meet again.”