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"Fuck!" Madara jerks in surprise as his laptop sings a jaunty tune, signalling an incoming call, and bangs his elbow on the tv console. "Fucking hell!"
"Language," his father gives him a severe look. "No swearing in my house."
Madara rolls his eyes, but keeps his mouth shut. It's the same rule they all grew up with and he knows there's no arguing with it, even though he's well past forty. He hits the button to accept the call instead, giving up on trying to hook the computer up to the TV, and yells for his siblings. "Hey! Izuna's calling!"
"I heard," nii-san walks out of the kitchen, sliding the tray of tea in his hands onto the table. "I think you've got the sound off though."
He does, and Madara clicks around, trying to rectify that. Video calls aren't really his thing, and the program is unfamiliar, so it takes him a few attempts to sort it out.
"Hello?" Izuna's voice comes through strongly, and Madara smiles to hear it. "Are you all there?"
"All but Kuro and Toga," he reports. "Though the thundering on the stairs probably means they'll be here in a minute if they don't slip and break their necks."
"Shut up!" Kuro shoulders her way between him and the laptop, waving wildly at the camera. "Hey, Izuna! Can you see me?"
"Yes! Hi!" Izuna sounds excited. "It's so good to talk to you again!"
"We can't see you though!" Toga squeezes in next to his twin and Madara gives up on keeping control of his own laptop, moving to join his father on the couch. "The screen is dark! Have you got the camera off? Turn it on!"
"It is on, it's the lights that are off!" There are grunting noises in the background, animal noises, and Madara tenses up instinctively. Unlike the rest of his family, he knows exactly what Izuna is doing on that remote island in the Pacific and he doesn't like it one bit. "I wanted to show you something!"
"Alright, um... here, let me just grab the black light..." There's a flicker, obviously the waving of a torch to and fro, before it steadies on purple feathers.
Purple luminescent feathers.
Madara covers his face, already feeling the headache forming.
"... your test subjects are fluorescent?" Kuro sounds confused. "Is this what you've been researching?"
"Not researching, creating!" Izuna is just as adorably enthusiastic about this as he was when he gave Madara a live worm as a five year old. "We're on the cutting edge here nee-san, this is palaeontology in action!"
"Palaeontology?" Toga squints at the feathers. "Izuna... are those dinosaurs?"
"Yes!" The lights in Izuna's lab flick on and Madara can see Tobirama with his hand on the switch. Of course it would be Izuna's best friend and partner in crime to help him set this disaster up. Of course it would be. "Behold the velociraptor!"
"... it's a turkey." Nii-san raises an eyebrow. "Izuna, are you sure that's a - ?"
"It is! I made it myself!" Izuna grabs the head of the bird and begins pointing out all the ways it's different from real turkeys. "The size is about the same, but if you'll look at the shape of the skull - hey!"
The raptor hisses angrily, snapping its jaws at Izuna again, and Madara shakes his head as his youngest brother scolds it.
"At least these ones are small," he confides to nii-san under the cover of Izuna reminding the raptor to mind its manners. "You should have seen the Utahraptor."
"I look forward to it," nii-san seems amused. "I think."
"Who's my cute baby?" Hashirama's cooing interrupts their conversation and Madara can see tanned hands reaching out for the little dinosaur. It lunges for him, almost taking off a finger, but Hashirama dodges and picks it up anyway. "That's right! You're my little sweetie! Yes, you are!"
Kuro is snickering already and Toga is not much better, but it's their father who is the real test. Madara watches his three younger siblings reconnect, exclaiming over the fruits of Izuna's research, but the silence from the other end of the couch doesn't escape his notice.
It's only when Izuna finally calls off, taking his dinosaurs with him, that otousan speaks again.
"You've been there, Madara." It's not a question. "To Izuna's work."
Madara nods his head, already suspecting what's to come.
And he isn't wrong.
"Good." The words are decisive, inarguable. "Book me a ticket please, I think it's time I went to see for myself."