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It was a beautifully quiet, relaxing day. Chris was chilling out at home on the couch with a neutral mind. He looked up when he heard Piers walking past, swirling the car keys on his trigger finger.
“I’m just going down to the grocery store, anything you need?”
“Oh no… I’m fine, just relaxing.”
“My music player’s on the table, help yourself whilst I’m gone.” He gave a smile, a jerk of the head towards the door and was off with a rumble of the engine.
Chris picked up the device, scrolling with large calloused fingers through the playlists. Bushy brows furrowed at one called ‘Edonia.’ He probably should have known better, but curiosity led him to pressing play.
“Hi Chris, I’m back.”
It wasn’t a long trip, and yet by the time Piers came back with the groceries he found Chris still sitting on the sofa, his burly shoulders were hunched, and his body was shaking quietly with emotion. He was crying. Piers set the bags down and quickly approached his partner with worry. He hadn’t had a PTSD episode in months.
He sat next to Chris and gently took the earphones off.
“Chris! Are you OK? Why the tears?”
Chris blinked, forcing the moisture out of his eyes as he found the glowing hazel. He softened when Piers’ arm found his. “This playlist of yours. Lost love. Lost people. Lost souls. It was all so sad, reminders of what we both lost. Something broke inside, just a stupid weepy moment, I’m sorry.”
Piers gave a light shake of his head and smiled, relieved that it didn’t seem to be a full-blown PTSD attack.
“Sshh Chris, it’s OK now, it’s just words and music. Country music often has that effect on people.” He tried to lighten things up with a laugh despite knowing what Chris probably was referring to.
He squeezed Chris’ shoulders, gave a soft kiss on the brown hair and quietly picked up the player. “It’s all right now. I have you, and you’ve got me. Hug?” They exchanged an embrace, pulling each other closer.
“Why was it called Edonia?”
Piers bit his lip slightly. He thought he had gotten rid of that list. “Oh… it’s just stuff I listened to back then… it’s not important now.”
He looked over Chris’ shoulder to the player he was still holding in his hand, and he thumbed through and deleted the playlist. “There, gone.”
Chris rested his head against his partner’s. “It was bad for you back then wasn’t it? Looking for me. You were the one who was really lost, not me. I was living a different life as Justin, hell, I didn’t even know anyone was actually looking for me! Not until I heard someone, you, singing in that bar about searching for their lost love.”
Piers’ cheeks grew slightly red as he recalled the episode. “Well I found you, and that’s all that matters now, those songs just reflected my mood at the time…”
“What?... Desperation?” He squeezed Piers tightly in his arms. He felt the shudder that went through the younger man’s body at the use of the word, and he could sense Piers’ body tense as he sought to regain control.
Piers returned a fragile smile, trying to change the subject before they got both all too melancholic.
“Hey…um…I got steak at the store… T.Bone, err, for tonight…”
Chris stiffened, sensing that Piers didn’t really want to talk about it yet and settled for ruffling the hair at the back of Pier’s head. “OK Ace, steak it is. I’m feeling better now that you’re back! I’ll make that dry rub you like.”
Chris sang happily to himself later that evening as the couple prepared dinner, absent-mindedly repeating the chorus from one of the songs… ‘I’m fractured from the fall, and I wawnna go home… dah, dum… It takes two when it used to take one, it takes two when it used to take only one…’
Piers’ eyes began tearing-up at the melody, and Chris glanced across with a broad smile and raised eyebrow. “What’s up Ace? Cutting onions getting to you?”
“Yeah, sure, damn onions always make me cry.” He sniffed and wiped his face with his sleeve. He was lying of course, the words to the song had opened up old memories from a time when he thought he had lost the love of his life, lost his reason to exist, but he wasn’t going to let the truth spoil his Captains happiness. Not tonight, not ever…
‘Suck it up Piers’, he told himself as he did once before in the snowy fields of Edonia. ‘Be strong for your Captain. Suck it up’.
He had known for years that just being Piers Nivans was not enough, that he needed Chris Redfield to complete his life, every bit as much as Chris needed him. And he would go through hell all over again to keep it that way. It would be worth it, because it takes two.