Chapter Text
After izuku had taken him into his arms, it had felt like his mind had gotten clouded. The fear, the sudden anxiety of being surrounded by pure danger, it had all diminished. He had felt warm, and the pressure in his chest had released. Even with the jostling, even with the beating heart and noise all around, he didn't feel fear anymore. He still had enough clarity to question everything that had been happening; why couldn't he move on his own? He was the hero, he was the adult, he was supposed to do damage control, but at that moment he had felt so vulnerable… and the feeling only overwhelmed him when izuku's feral eyes landed on him… his kind, comforting eyes that softened for him and made him feel impossibly tiny. He couldn't figure out why he didn't stop him. He couldn't figure out why he felt like he couldn't do much of anything.
The more Izuku held him like this, close even if awkward, the more muddled his mind felt. Safe.
Then, when the rush of wind suddenly roared in his ears, and when izuku jumped and ran, he didn't feel fear, either. He knew, somehow, deep inside, izuku would never put him in danger. Izuku's behavior alone was proof enough.
He hadn't realized izuku had taken him to his home until he saw his mother, into midoriya, over his shoulder; she looked frantic, she looked terrified, but by then, whatever she'd been saying sounded just a little muddled. It confused him greatly. Why did it feel like he was drowning in izuku's warmth and safety? Why was that happening? The only thing he really heard was his own heartbeat pounding around his head. It was so strange…is it all because of the quirk they'd been hit with? Was the quirk altering his perception of everything? How izuku made him feel?
He had been let go, and briefly, he felt panicked, his anxiety spiking only for izuku's gentle hands to roam his body and grab his face, as if making sure he wasn't injured before taking an old blanket and pulling it around his shoulders. Strange. Weird. Safe.
Inko left, he noticed before izuku had, the other too busy fixing his frazzled hair. He felt… uncomfortable, yet, incredibly comfortable. Uncomfortable, because this was his student, and he was being coddled; comfortable, because izuku was safe and this is his safe space. He didn't know what to do… izuku muttered, "sleep. You're too tired. Sleep. I'll protect." He complied, because while his awareness had become limited, he knew very well izuku was in a far worse, state; he was jittery, on the defense, feral. that scared him, too. He curled into the ball, his heart quickening as midoriya's hand went back to his hair, undoing knots and providing comfort. He tried to ignore it, his chest twisting.
He knew something was going to happen. He knew izuku could sense it too.
And then the door slammed shut behind him as izuku yelped. He gasped quietly into the blanket as izuku hopped of the bed, and by the sound of it, broke his door open.
He smelled something familiar. A light fragrance of sugar and orchids. Nemuri's quirk.
He couldn't help the sound that came out of his throat;pitiful, and sad.
Where was izuku? Why hadn't he come back?
He hadn't realized he was about to pass out until Hizashi's familiar voice broke through the clouds. He fell unconscious as he was carried out.
–
Then he woke up to white.
He came too slowly, the pressure in his chest increasing the more he gained coherency. He was in a patient's room. He was the patient. His breathe hitched. Where was his-? He sat up, and took note of the padded cuffs on his wrists, connected to the bed. They… they tied him down? He looked around, and there was nothing but the usual. Where was-?! He hated he felt terrified, he hated he was driving himself I to a panick attack all because izuku wasn't here. He said he'd protect me! He keeps me safe. I need him! Thoughts invaded his head, and… chocked down a whine. He couldn't breathe, he was lonely, he felt too vulnerable… he needs…he needed to find…
He kicks the blankets- or at least tried to, before realizing his feet were cuffed to the bed, too. The rational part of his mind praised the precaution, the emotional, raw side wanted to cry.
He felt caged, here. He hated the feeling. He hated how tears welled up in his eyes. I want my-! He couldn't even keep the blanket? The blanket izuku tenderly wrapped around his shoulders? The soft, old material that was comfortable against his face?
Hizashi came in, causal clothing and all. His face was pale, eyes unseeing. The man looked to him, and instantly that look was replaced by concern, and kindness. "What's wrong, shouta?"
He stuttered, barely even to get out words as his breathing fell short. He felt intimidated. Get out! Get out! You're scaring me! I want my-!
He scooted away, and hugged his knees as he tried to get air into his lungs.
Fuck. What the fuck was going on with him? His nerves were going haywire, and his thoughts jumbled. This is the woman's quirk. Something about just needing izuku was the woman's quirk. What was her quirk? He wanted to know. He felt lost. He felt abandoned. He needed his protector. He needed Daddy.
He felt… humiliated, as well. For breaking down so easily, for panicking so easily, for feeling so scared.
He shut his eyes and they burned. The world around him was starting to become white noise, and all he could think of it was as dangerous. He didn't know how long he spent there, heaving and silently crying, but eventually, something was tucked besides him. He glanced at it, and it took a minute to realize was it was through his tears. Daddy's blanket. He didn't notice he replaced izuku with Daddy twice, now. He took it, and held the mound to his chest, rubbing it against his cheek. It smelled like Daddy. Gradually, he felt himself calm down the longer he held it, but the tightness remained. This helped but he needed izuku himself. He needed his physical presence, his kind eyes.
He scrubbed his face, his eyes burning from crying, something he hadn't done in a long time.
He hates this stupid quirk.
-
He got his wish after a while. His door burst open, and he felt himself freeze, terrified at the presence- and then the bed dipped and familiar, gentle and scarred hands tugged him close. Instantly he wrapped his arms around the figure, releasing a sigh of relief. His daddy's here. The rational side of his mind yelled and felt humiliated by the title he'd given the boy, but he pushed it away. He wasn't ready to face the truth of it all. He just wanted to be held and protected. That's all he wanted.
Until he felt like he was finally himself, he'll ignore the elephant in the room for as long as he could.