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the desert heat burns like nothing else does.
it's not uncommon to walk outside and find the all-year summer heat making its way into every crevice of your body to stay forever. party knows this better than anyone when they push open the door of the diner and groan at the nasty feeling of sweat immediately gathering on their back. and it really doesn’t help when they look up to see fun ghoul right in front of them, tongue stuck out in concentration as he digs around in the engine of the trans am, because their face heats up just like that.
“oh, hey party.” ghoul doesn’t stop what it’s doing even when party approaches to lean on the side of the car. “what’cha doin?”
”n’thin. jet and kobra are out for a supply run, we’re outta food.” poison shrugs, watching ghoul’s hands covered with grease and dirt and sand and whatever else the killjoy touched, “i’m bored.”
”and i'm busy tryna fix whatever the fuck you did to the 'am the last time you drove it,” ghoul glares at the still sputtering vehicle, “go find somethin’ else to do.”
“but ghouliee!” party drags out the ‘e’ in a way that makes the other snort in amusement, waving his dirty hands towards poison. "it's hot and i'm all gross!"
”no shit, welcome to the desert” he retorts with the ghost of a smile, "unless y'wanna help me out, get outta here or shut up."
with that and complete silence after the four separate times poison begs ghoul to hang out with them, the redhead slides down to sit onto burning sand and waits for him to finish.
party’s eyes slide from the rotting wood of the diner, to the clear sky stretched above, back to ghoul’s focused face. they hide a grin, just a little one though, at it’s grunt of frustration when more oil spills out all over his jacket.
it’s not a rare thing to catch party staring too long at their friend, or to look over and see ghoul watching poison a bit too closely. after all, some things aren’t as rare as you think out in zone six. but neither has made a move to fucking do something and its driving jet and kobra crazy with this little dance they’re doing around each other.
jus’ fuckin’ say something, kobra groaned to his sibling after a miserably depressing rant on the 83 reasons ghoul doesn’t love them back and how the desert doesn’t have time for love, it won’t say no because it’s madly in love with you. and even if he does, it won’t even be a dick about it! but if he is then i’ll like, chop his balls off or somethin’.
that’s the thing, party had wailed back, it’s so fucking nice it won’t say anything! how can i change anything about us?? to which kobra got up and walked out.
“what are you thinkin' about?” ghoul smiles at the car, which finally seems to be running at least. “i’m finished!”
“fuckin’ finally.” poison grins, using the door handle of the car to heave themself up back to stand. “you’re amazing holy shit.”
“you’re welcome, asshole, don’t do whatever the fuck you do when you‘re out ‘cuz i’m not fixing it next time.” ghoul tosses the keys over its shoulder as he heads back inside the diner, party following shortly behind.
“so what else are ya up to today?” party shouts as ghoul disappears into his room before popping back out with a new shirt. “uh nothing really.” it hums, “just gonna sleep or something.”
“you sure? we could do somethin’ special” party suggests off the top of their head, before freezing as they realize how much this sounds like a date. is it a date? well now they kinda want it to be a date.
ghoul mindlessly shakes its head, “nah ’m fine. thanks though.”
party pouts as the boredom resumes and the diner goes silent.
///
“you’re like, real pretty.” party’s voice is slurring slightly and their vision’s a bit blurry, but not blurry enough for them to miss ghoul's fond eyes highlighted by the background of evening stars. it's late at night, nobody's supposed to be up but the dead: yet party poison and fun ghoul lie on the roof of the diner, hands on a bottle of something strong they found on a raid the day before. "somethin' special, y'know?"
"i'm aware," it giggles, "coolest 'joy around! sure i am,"
"no, like, seriously," poison sobers up quickly from their spot on ghoul's lap, eyes wide and alarmed, "you're the fuckin' most coolest, brightest 'joy i've met. you didn't know 'at?"
"uhhh i think you're s'posed to say 'fuckin' after 'most'" ghoul retorts after a few seconds of thought, lying on his back to look up at the sky, eyes blinking blearily at the vast dark. "is the sky always 'his big?"
" mm no, it's definitely how i said 't" party hums, resuming their position with their head cradled in ghoul's jean-clad legs with its absent-minded fingers coming to twist and stroke at red hair. "an' yeah, sky's huge ghoulie."
"huh." comes a mumbled response from the other 'joy.
"yeah, 'know. so weird ta think ab't. we're blastin' dracs and crows one 'ay then next could be up there with the little stars." they're babbling now, their lips unable to stop now that the full affect of whatever they've ingested hits them like a punch to the face, "don't think we can do much though. jettie and kobes an' me ’n you all gotta part'ta play in the desert, so we can't die yet. you wonder what it's like though? ta be dead? quiet n' peaceful n' everythin'? it'd be nice but fuckin' borin' prob-"
party's words stop mid-sentence when ghoul rolls his eyes and grabs their shoulders before smashing their lips together. it's messy, it's wet, it's honestly kinda gross, but it's very effective as the red-haired killjoy shuts up real fast and goes with it, letting a small smile slip between the two, unnoticed but there all the same, lets it happen until they remember with a curse that they do need to breathe at some point or another. ghoul's the first to pull away with a short hum of discomfort.
"you talk too m'ch." it mutters, all starry eyes and smug grin against party poison's wide eyes. their lips are parted in surprise.
”you- you jus’ kissed me.”
”mhm!” ghoul grins, wide and wreckless, and party’s heart fucking swoons at it’s unapologetic cackle. “your face! holy shit, pois-“
”shut the fuck up and do it again.” then ghoul is cut off and he’s never been more glad to be.
"i think i like you a whole lot, ghoul." party is too honest, too open right now, but they say their mind anyways between short pauses of the kisses being pressed to bruised lips, "like, a whooole lot".
"ya better, otherwise i'd be kissin' you for no reason." ghoul mumbles, never letting go of his friend’s shoulders, instead gripping tighter with sharp fingernails that would make poison wince. "hey, what’d you think it'd be like to love?" it blurts, giggly and raw, like its the easiest thing in the world.
”where’d that come from?” poison breathes out a giggle at the question like it doesn’t send them into cardiac arrest.
”dunno. jus felt like askin’,” another split-second kiss is planted on party’s opened mouth before ghoul settles into their shoulders with its arms wrapped protectively around itself.
“if you rob chow-mein’s store with me tomorrow, i might just let’cha know.” their words are slurring again and party feels the feeling of drowsiness that they always shove to the back of their mind in the day make a reappearance at the worst possible time. “could be like a date, y’know? jus’ you ‘n me. make it realll romantic.”
“you wish.” ghoul snorts at party’s straightforward mumbling. “maybe some other time pois.”
”yeah,” they mutter as they feel sleep etching its way into the joints of their body. and with ghoul pressing comfortably against them combined with the unfamiliar feeling of safety that encloses them in warmth…”that’d be nice ghoulie.”
and ghoul agrees with the silent nod of its head, never saying yes, never saying that it would be fucking electric to go out with party and every risk that comes along with them, but that he's got too much in his head and too much that fills his heart that it can't just agree like it's 16 all over again.
neither of them wake up until noon the next day.
///
party has no idea how old they are. life moves fast in the desert, fast enough for you to forget your life but not fast enough to outrun it. and today is their 10 year anniversary for escaping battery city with kobra, so ghoul found a shit-ton of balloons and a partially-edible can of sugar and called it a day, nearly lighting the diner on fire when his confetti-bomb takes the ‘bomb’ part too literally.
jet cringes at ghoul and girl's loud shouting but manages a smile anyways. kobra sits, unamused, as thin slices of color make their way into his face and probably in his sunglasses: nobody actually knows, they take them off like once a year, whenever that is.
"the fuck is this?" party walks in, a lollipop stick between their fingers and squinted eyes at the excitement lighting up their home.
"poison's back!" girlie squeals and tackles them with another shout (poison will forever deny it was them who yelled).
"it's our birthday or whatever, so now we have a party." kobra deadpans from his spot in one of the booths. in the background, jet struggles to hide her laughter at the siblings' confused faces.
"what the fuck is a birthday?" party blinks. the room becomes silent at the question, ghoul's mouth agape and jet's stare of absolute horror screaming louder than anything else.
"you don't know what a fucking birthday is??" ghoul shouts, smacking the other in the back of their head harshly, ignoring poison's protests.
"fuck you! that hurt!" they roughly shove their hand against ghoul's face in retaliation, but it's right, they've got no fucking clue what a birthday is.
"it's like, a thing, y'know?? the day you were born, but ghoul and the girl didn't know when you or kobes was born, so they just took the day the two of you escaped and called it your birthday." jet calls loudly over the sound of party and ghoul fighting. kobra silently cheers ghoul on.
"then how did kobra know this??" party grunts when the latter lands a pretty good hit on their stomach.
"oh, cola told me a while back. i still don’t get it.” kobra shrugs but continues to watch interestedly, "but if ghoul wins it's my present, so fuck 'em up ghoul!"
ghoul tackles poison to the ground, who narrowly dodges the hit that comes aiming towards their nose. "you get presents outta this?" they have time to question before elbowing the other joy in the ribs, followed by a wheeze of pain and another smack to their head.
"yeah, tradition, y'know?" he retorts with a surprised noise as poison pulls them both to their feet and shoves him against the counter. nobody bothers to note that the girl was carried out of the room the second jet sensed a fight. he's got superpowers like that.
"if i did know, i wouldn't hafta ask," party points out before grabbing their friend by the legs and flipping it over their shoulders, "and fuck you! not everyone was raised in the desert, y'know? we didn't celebrate shit back in the city,"
ghoul goes quiet momentarily, kicking stilled, "you didn't celebrate anything? like, not even that one holiday with the trees 'n the lights?"
party and kobra shake their heads in unison.
"that's fuckin' sad." he declares like it's something new, before sliding out of poison's (admittedly strong) arms and socking them in the nose one final time. kobra cheers at party's groan of defeat, scooting their way out of the diner with a congratulatory laugh, "i'm leavin'."
"where you going?"
"crash track, heard there's a race goin' on. happy birthday, pois." kobra shrugs before slamming the door behind him. the roar of an engine follows like the stars trail the sky, and kobra’s where he belongs.
"and fuck you." party holds back a laugh so ghoul assumes their not too mad about their "fight". “is fucking people’s faces up apart of birthdays too?”
"only if you want!" ghoul cheers.
its quiet for a few seconds. poison’s got their bottom lip between their teeth, and their eyes are staring at the ceiling like they do when they think too much.
”and we getta present, right?” ghoul grins.
“whatever you want, poison party!” he’s gonna regret saying that, it knows.
“whatever i want?” party juts their bottom lip out in a childish pout, fitting on their face but the farthest thing from true to their heart.
“you get whatever you want even when it’s not your birthday.”
“go out with me? pretty please ghoulie” they’re smirking, lips tilted teasingly at ghoul’s expression, but they might actually shit their pants. they weren’t actually gonna say that, what the fuck??
”only if u make it a real date. find a candle and maybe i’ll let u fuck me in the back of the car too.” ghoul breathes out with the air of something bordering exasperation and relief.
it rolls his eyes at the sound of party’s loud laughter filling his head and turning whatever brain he has to mush.
///
today’s party poison and fun ghoul’s turn to babysit motorbaby. show pony's here too, nobody really knows why, but they love girlie just as much as the next killjoy so the four don't usually mind. the girl’s only five, just turning about three months ago, but she has the energy of someone who’s constantly on sugar and it’s exhausting. of course, they love her more than humanly possible, but she’s more energetic than all four of them combined.
“party it’s your turn to play ‘am with girlie,” ghoul groans with sand all over his face and a growing bruise. party looks up from their shitty magazine to hear the whoop of victory the girl gives and see her arms thrown excitedly in the air.
‘am’ was a game jet had made for the girl to teach her proper aim early on, where each person held any kind of can and tried to hit the moving other as many times as possible while also trying to race to some sort of stopping point first. jet-star had told girlie that it was game of speed, never would tell her that it was incase anything happened to the four and she was alone with nothing but a raygun and crows on her tail. "it'll be fun," she had grinned down at the younger, "like tag and dodgeball together!". little girlie had no idea what either of those things were but she went along with it anyways.
"what? you get your ass beat by a five year old already?" ghoul glares and doesn't tell poison that it had totally lost on purpose.
"yeah, i did, and it's your turn, you bitch." he spits without any fire. party shrugs and heads over to a still celebrating motorbaby with a grin on their face and watches as they begin chasing the girl across the little track they drew not too long ago. it makes him grin.
"hey sugar, what's racing?" show pony drawls calmly from their spot on the hood of the am, stretching her arm out to pull ghoul against their side comfortably.
"nothing, pony, life's been too boring recently," the killjoy groans, half relieved and half anxious. the quiet means nothing good out here. "and that means someone's plannin' somethin'!"
"so do something drastic, honey, blow everythin' up!" they grin, albeit a bit manically, "light whatev'r on fire or somethin', who cares?"
"there's nothin' to blow, pony. think smaller, you've got an itty brain for that, 'nyways." she scoffs at the response, wrapping her arm around ghoul's throat in a (mostly) joking chokehold. ghoul and pony have been childhood friends since they had been born to parents in the same crew, and when that crew was wiped, they were the last children standing. the death of both of their parents left them alone, but they survived on expired power-pup and adrenaline their entire lives: they'd live.
"okay, so tell party over 'ere how you feel." she says calmly, only looking up to catch the expression on their friend's face. ghoul turns pale, eyes wide and mouth agape, before sitting up quickly.
"the fuck are you talkin' about?? poison n' me? fuck no! i don't like 'em like that pony, what the fuck!"
"i didn't say how you felt, ghoulie, that's all you. ‘sides, you’re the one who said life was boring, right?” pony shrugs, “ ‘nd ‘m pretty sure party over here wouldn’t mind it much either.”
ghoul looks over just in time to watch his friend get smacked in the face by an old can of something expired, but notices that poison had been glaring at them first; maybe unconsciously, sure, but pony’s arm around ghoul’s bony shoulders was the direction of their malice.
and ghoul was getting tired of denying the spark that only lit up when poison grabbed their arm, toyed with their hair, checked it’s pulse. he was in love with them, has been for too long, and it needs to say something for one of them fucking explodes.
killjoys don’t grow up with affection. they grow up when life expects them to, usually in the form of near-death experiences and actual death experiences. love is unheard of unless it’s a sacrifice. ghoul is no stranger to being alone, it was alone for 17 years until he found party, beat-up and also alone, and suddenly neither were so by-themselves anymore.
as if that wasn’t terrifying enough, waiting for party poison to leave as soon as possible, they started to show affection, public and open and warm towards anyone they wanted. every day, ghoul found themselves infatuated with the tiniest things and maybe. maybe that wasn’t the worst thing to happen.
”ghoul! she hit me in the stomach!” party whines in the background as static in the other joy’s thoughts.
”jet didn’t say we couldn’t! it’s not in the rules,” the girl sticks her tongue out at poison, who reciprocates it exaggeratedly. “right ghoul??”
”ghoulie??” ghoul stays silent.
”i’m gonna go take their spot with the girl. just be honest, ‘kay??” pony whispers before clapping their friend on the shoulder and standing up on purple wheels.
”fun ghoul? are you okay??” poison ignores the cramp in their stomach and rushes to ghoul, who sits with his legs crossed and fingers clasped on the hood of the trans am.
“huh?” he snaps back fast to watch party staring at them with these wide eyes.
“okay, you’re fine, right?”
“yeah,” ghoul nods, “i think i love you.”
and party. oh party fucking dies, right then and there, on-the-spot shuts down at words they’ve repeated for one person in their heart for years. their mouth runs dry and their mind blanks and ghoul is giggling nervously in that way poison so effortlessly loves and they need to say something.
“really??”
”no i’m lying and i hate you. yes, really.” ghoul feels genuine panic for the first time in his life, “it’s fine if you don’t, fuckin’ sudden, i k-“
then they’re kissing, and fireworks are going off somewhere, somewhere far away. at least it’s a sober kiss this time.
”…yeah” black hair is falling into ghoul’s still-closed eyes, like this was a hallucination of some kind and it didn’t want to awake, but when his eyes open, they grin.
”yeah?” ghoul snickers at party’s dopey expression, eyes soft and so, so in love it makes him want to throw up, or maybe just kiss them again.
”i love you too.”
”thanks for not like, punchin’ me in the face or somethin’.”
”yeah, yeah of course.” party leans in again and the day is forgotten.
they even fail to notice that show pony dragged girlie away to play ‘am somewhere else they weren’t making out when they stopped paying attention.