Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Hiiii uh…I realized there wasn’t any Knife/Reader content in ao3 so i made my own uh…

THINGS I WILL DO!!:
Fluff
Art(if I learn how to put images on ao3)
Slight Angst

WILL DO BUT IM NOT GOOD AT:
Angst
Gore

WILL NOT DO:
Smut
NSFW overall
Throwing up
Illegal things

REQUESTS ARE...OPEN!!!

Chapter Text

Knife stood in the inside of their room, crying softly beneath the covers while you, their roommate, was outside of the hotel playing in the yard.

As they cried, they thought of…things..They’ve always felt kind of…different. Their gruff, manly voice didn’t sound..’theirs’, in a way.
Everytime they looked into the mirror, they didn’t see..’themselves’, to put it more simple, they felt like something was..wrong with the way they were born, at first they thought that they were only non-binary, no big deal, everyone’s supportive about it.

But..nothing’s changed, they still feel this..weird feeling everytime someone calls them as a they.

Something they used to kind of..’cope’ with this when they were a kid, was that they..they stole their mothers makeup, and put it in their face, people called them weird for it, but they did not care, it gave them this feeling of comfort they had never experienced before.

But when their parents divorced and they had to go to the U.S with their father, the empty feeling came back, they tried to get some makeup but their father always said that ‘they were a male, makeup is for girls’.

It was like this all the way to this moment.
They felt the door handle start moving, so they immediately tried to stop crying and act like they were sleeping, which clearly wasn’t working, and they were making those ugly hics when someone is trying to cry quietly.

The door opened and you came into the room, quickly noticing the crying person in their bed.

You closed the door and quietly got closer to their bed, they were completely covered by the covers, you sat next to them in the bed and slowly took the covers of off their face to reveal their reddened face.
Not from embarrassment, but from crying so much.

“Hey…uhm..you okay..?” You asked, trying to make your voice sound as nice as possible, scared of scaring them even more.

“N-Not real- *HIC* really..” Their eyes turned away from your face, clearly embarrassed of letting you see them like this.

“You..wanna talk 'bout it?” You said, opening your arms in case they wanted to hug you.

“S-Sure..” they said as they slowly started hugging you, which you returned quickly.

“I just..don’t feel right. I don’t wan- *HIC* ..wanna waste much time so I’ll just be direct with it. I feel like my body is..wrong, in a wa- *HIC* way, the voice I have doesn’t feel mine, and it just overall feel weird..ya know..?” They said, which you nodded slowly. “At first I thought i was just non-binary, ya kn- *HIC*…know, all good with that. But..the feeling hasn’t changed since then.” They said, finally looking into your eyes.

“I have a slight suspicion of what this could be. But you’ll have to answer 4 questions.”

“Alright, what is it?” “First of all, what you’re experiencing is gender dysphoria. Now on with the questions. Number one, you dont feel like a boy right?” “No.”

“and you don’t feel non-binary, right?”
“…No..”

“alright, Number three. Do you think that it’s that you simply..don’t have a gender..?”

“No, I know it’s something else.”

“..Okay then, last question…Do you think that you want to be a girl?” That question seemingly came out of nowhere, their eyes widened as they looked around the room.

“I..I’m not sure..” “Do you think you’d transition to be a girl if you got the chance to?” “Y-Yeah, bu-“ “No buts. I think we’ve already found our answer.”

You interrupted them. “You are transgender!! A person who doesn’t feel like the gender they were assigned at birth. Do you think that term suits you?” You asked.

“..It..It does..” Their crying had stopped by this point. The only noises besides their shaky voice and your voice was knife’s heavy breathing.

“Alright, I think what we should start by is a pronoun change!! I’m assuming you want to be called a she, right?” “..yeah..”

They let go of the hug, so now they were sitting in front of you. Giving you a slight smile. Which you returned awkwardly. “Alright, I’ll start calling ya a she from now on!! Do you mind if I tell other people if they ask?”

“Y-yeah, I do mind, I wanna tell people about this myself when I’m ready, if you don’t mind..!” She replied.

“Okay then!” You started going to the door.

“And remember, if there’s something ya wanna tell me, just do it!”

“Alright, [Y/N]!” Knife replied.

“Alright, see ya later, girl!” You quickly walked out of the door as knife stood there.

She..finally felt complete.

Chapter Text

Reader POV:
It was a normal Thursday on fall. of course, i was in school. I sat in my empty classroom during lunch break, not eating or anything, because the food the school gave us was absolute shit and i forgot to bring my lunchbox, and i really did not feel like throwing up today. I stare at the note in my hands, looking and looking for errors to be able to ensure this is *perfect.* I really did not want to mess this up with a orthographic error or something like that, after so much work, it *has* to be perfect, awesome even. He has to like it.

You see, I have had a crush on knife, my classmate, for around a year or two, and today was the big day i wanted to confess. Though i won't do it by going up to him, that'll be too embarrassing and I'll be so nervous i wont even be able to speak. I instead plan on confessing my feelings through a love note. I've spent day and night working on this, I'm sure It'll work! Its cheesy, i know, but it's the only idea i could get. I don't have his number and i don't want to embarrass myself by asking someone for it. I fiddled with the note in my hands until the bell rung. I panicked and slid the note to knifes locker, going back to my seat as people started to enter the classroom.

[TIME SKIP TO SCHOOL END.]

The last bell rung as most of the classmates ran out of the classroom, i was about to walk out too but i stopped when i saw Knife opening his locker, he noticed the note and grabbed it, he then looked at me for a moment and i ran out of the classroom, practically running down the stairs and to the exit. The sunlight hitting me as i walked to my house. I couldn't help but think of the note though. 'That was such a dumb idea..how would such a great guy even want to go out with someone like me?' i thought. I went into a small shop and bought some chocolate to eat at a local park close to my house. i kept overthinking about the note, i was scared there was maybe some error i didn't see, maybe he doesn't even want to go out, maybe he wouldn't *willingly* go out with me, there were so many things that could go wrong, but i just kept eating my chocolate nervously, it tasted kind of bitter, but i knew it wasn't the chocolate, it was my head messing with me.

[TIME SKIP TO NEXT DAY.]

I walked into my classroom and sat on my seat. I wasn't the first to arrive since some people were already there, Knife being one of them. My eyes widened but not enough to be noticeable, I walked to my locker to grab some things, but when i opened it, i found a note in my locker. I grabbed it and started to read it.

' Y/N, if this really isn't a joke and you're actually serious, then meet me outside of school when school ends. Don't be late. -Knife'

That was...straightforward. I looked at knife and saw him staring right at me with a penetrating look, I looked away immediately and grabbed my phone to distract myself, feeling to embarrassed to even look at him. Not long after, the bell rung, signaling the start of class as i not-so-happily waited for it, we had biology, and i was never really good at it, i barely even remember if we had an exam or something, but i didn't pay mind to that since that was the normal class schedule for me. go to class, be confused in biology, break, go to other classes, leave school, repeat. It's not that filled with variety but it's really all i could remember at the moment. "Ok, so, todays class is going to be about..." My mind drifted off from my teacher's annoying voice, this went on for around two hours until the bell finally rung. I ran out of the classroom immediately, not wishing to be in that hellhole any longer, running down the stairs into the school backyard, which was already full of people playing, talking or hanging out. I sat on a bench next to a large tree and opened my lunchbox, I had a bit of bread and an apple, without including my lunch, which seemed to be some sort of soup. I grabbed the apple and closed my lunchbox, putting it next to me and eating it, staring at all the little kids playing and running around. After 15 minutes of this, the bell rung and everyone ran to their classrooms, i took a bit to get up from the bench and walked back into the building, feeling the immediate change of atmosphere hit me.

[TIME SKIP TO AFTER SCHOOL]

I walked out along with all the other students, then remembered the note knife gave to me. I made my way to the entrance, trying to avoid all the other students speed-walking to the exit. Once i finally got there, i looked around to see where knife could be, I spotted him on the small playground next to one of the exits and walked over to him, once he noticed me, he gave me a glare. "So..? Explain what that note was about. was it serious? or was it just some sick joke you wanted to play on me?" He questioned, his voice serious as hell and his hands grabbing my collar, trying to be menacing. "I uhm...It was serious, why do ya ask..?" I asked nervously, the look on his face seemed to soften and he let me go. "Like...100% serious?" He asked me, the tone in his voice being softer than before. "Uh...Yeah, why wouldn't it be..?" Suddenly, he hugged me, an honest smile on his face. "Thank you..." He said. "For what..?" "For liking me back.." I felt my heart skip a beat at knife's words, i hugged him back softly, not wanting to let go. "So...are we like..a thing now..?" I asked. "Only if you wanna, i won't force you to if you don't want to or you feel like you aren't ready yet." He let go of the hug and looked at me, waiting for my answer. "...You know what? Sure!" He smiled at my words, then he grabbed my face softly and gave me a kiss, his lips were soft, the softest thing my lips have ever felt. He pulled away after a while, my face was hot as hell at that point and i looked at Knife with widened eyes, surprised. All he did was chuckle at my reaction. "Well...I'll see you tomorrow, 'Partner'." He walked away as if nothing happened, leaving me all flustered on the school playground.