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Daryl hadn’t looked at her. Not since it happened. Glenn was dead.
Maggie was in hysterics; she had been since then. She was processing slowly. Waking up with a pit in her stomach she could feel her emotions with her whole body. She was drowning and she knew she couldn’t. She lost Glenn. She missed him so much, waking without him beside her. She was missing a part of herself, and she would never be able to find again.
Daryl blamed himself. Maggie didn’t know but Daryl woke with the same pit in his stomach. He couldn’t get up, couldn’t move. Staring at the ceiling waiting for the sun to go back down. He didn’t deserve to get up, he didn’t deserve to be alive. It should have been him. He thought it would be him. He wanted it to be him.
She pulled herself out of bed, it had been a week she was in pain emotionally and physically. Her stomach felt like she had been stabbed. She was going to be fine. The baby was going to be fine. She could get through this she had too.
Maggie’s mind had not shut up since that night. At first she thought it wasn’t real, maybe a fever manifested hallucination or a dream. It couldn’t be real. It had to be fake, she couldn’t lose him. Not him. But it was real. Maggie relived the moment over and over. It happened so fast yet painfully slow. She couldn’t breathe the whole time.
It was his fault he knew it was. Daryl couldn’t breathe, hugging his knees tight into his chest still sitting on his mattress. He closed his eyes, doing his hardest to pretend it was him. Imagining the bat coming down on his head, forcing himself to remember the pain Glenn must’ve felt.
Sasha had told Maggie to not go anywhere without telling her. She was staying with Sasha for the time being, Sasha didn’t want to be alone. Sasha also didn’t want Maggie to be alone. Sasha understood how Maggie worked, it didn’t have to be verbalized for Sasha to know Maggie couldn’t go back to where she and Glenn lived. Maggie walked down the stairs to where Sasha sat in the kitchen. She was drinking coffee staring out the window. She looked lost, Maggie thought she probably was. But so was Maggie.
“I need you to take me to Daryl.” She almost whispered, her voice still raw from barely talking and crying so much. Maggie was using a chair to keep herself up. She was still on bedrest, but she had to see him.
“Maggie you are in no shape to be leaving.” Sasha said pity strong in her voice as she rushed to Maggie’s side holding her up.
Maggie felt herself begin to tear up, but she couldn’t cry not yet. “I can’t lose him too.” She is almost quieter than before. “Please take me to him.” Sasha reluctantly agreed.
“Daryl!” Sasha shouted as she knocked on his door, it was hard to be gentle and loud at the same time. When the door didn’t budge after minutes a sigh left Maggie’s mouth. She maneuvered herself off Sasha and opened the door; it wasn't locked. “I can get back by myself.” Maggie said firmly, closing the door before Sasha could argue. Maggie knew she wasn’t in any condition, but she needed to be alone with Daryl.
“Daryl..” She whispered trying to not startle him. “Daryl please.” She begged sitting down on the mattress in front of him. He looked up slightly his eyes red as well as his nose.
“Maggie..” He could barely tell if she was real. He looked back down. Down at his hands. The hands that caused this. He felt so guilty, He felt pathetic, here he was still alive still breathing getting to see Maggie. Why was she here? Why wasn’t he here.
“Can I come closer?” She asked gently, she knew he thought she was mad. It was Daryl she knows Daryl. She loved Daryl, and he was blaming himself. She knew he was. “Daryl please.. I.. I can’t lose you too..” Tears began to fall from her face, she hadn’t expected to cry. She wiped them quickly as he looked up at her.
“I’m sorry, I’m so fucking sorry..” He remembered the bat, the crack, Maggie’s sobs, He remembered wanting to kill Negan; wanting to hold Maggie and tell her how much Glenn loved her. “It’s all my fault.”
Maggie laid next to him putting her face a breath away from his, she put her hand on Daryl’s cheek, “It’s not.. please Daryl know it’s not your fault.” Tears threatened to spill as her voice cracked. Blinking them away and looking back up at him, “I promise.”
Daryl let it go, his breath hitched hearing the words, then he sobbed. He sobbed like he did the night it happened. He could hear Maggie sob too.
Unknowingly the pair moved closer, Maggie was crying into Daryl’s chest as she rubbed his back. Daryl sobbed while petting her hair trying to be any source of comfort. They were like that for a while crying into each other like it was their ‘last night on earth’.
Eventually there were no more tears in either of their systems to cry. “I love you Daryl.” Maggie said firmly but softly, her vocal cords tired from the strain. “I love you too.” Daryl whispered back. He would still doubt if Glenn’s death was his fault or not, but he knew Maggie didn’t think it was and at that point in time it was enough. Exhaustion got the best of them as they fell asleep holding onto each other.